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Meeting People In College

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    DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited September 2009
    Malkor wrote: »
    The answer is you're both right.

    I've met some surprisingly classy ladies while smoking reefers and chugging 40z and met women who were a blast to be with and cool as hell while playing video games.

    Enjoy yourself by doing what you like, and be on the lookout for people who enjoy doing similar things.

    Preach on.

    OP: Just talk to people. You'll find that some people you click with, others you don't. Fortunately you're in a new place with tons of new people to meet, so the boundaries are limitless.

    One of my better friends from college listened to terrible music, didn't really like video games and we didn't really have much in common. But we really connected with the things we did have in common, and he was easy to talk to and absolutely hilarious. I'm pretty glad that I didn't write the guy off on the first day because I didn't like the music he listened to.

    Unknown User on
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    DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited September 2009
    Basically just echoing what Bardi said, cuz man nothing is gonna net you a depressing first year at college more than being completely judgemental about everyone around you before you even get to know them.

    Unknown User on
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    ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    robothero wrote: »
    Basically just echoing what Bardi said, cuz man nothing is gonna net you a depressing first year at college more than being completely judgemental about everyone around you before you even get to know them.
    Seriously.

    And I really have to side with wally on this one over Sky; the things I regret most in college are the things I didn't do. I seriously wish I hadn't had anything to do with the gaming clubs, and had spread my wings a ton more, gone to more parties, hung out with more different people, and generally pushed my boundaries a lot more.

    I mean, don't get me wrong, I most definitely was not a shut-in or anything like that; I did a ton of stuff in college. But I really wish I had done a lot more, because I'd much rather be regretting the things I did do than the things I didn't. I mean, really, speaking from the elderly age of 27, get out there and do things. Try new shit.

    Personally, I'd recommend avoiding the video game club for the first few weeks of school. It tends to be a place that feeds the shut-ins, and will encourage that sort of behavior. Go somewhere else, try new things instead, and come back to the video games in a few weeks.

    Thanatos on
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    KalkinoKalkino Buttons Londres Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Yeah, taking a risk is a good idea. Go join some random clubs/do some volunteering for worthy causes that have campus chapters. Worst thing that happens to you is that you waste a couple of hours of your life. More likely you'll meet some interesting people and find out new and exciting stuff (like that you hate student politicians, or that nutters are everywhere) etc

    Kalkino on
    Freedom for the Northern Isles!
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    Cowboy BebopCowboy Bebop Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I think it’s important to state that there’s many different facets to a persons personality, just because someone likes say different music from you that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with them. During my first year of uni one of the guys I made friends with was a techno nut who would get drunk to the point where he would pass out/get thrown from a club at least 5 times a week. I’m the complete opposite I like Metal/Punk, play D&D and barley drink, but we crack each other up and enjoy a lot of the same movies. What comes from a friendship like that is that you get exposed to a lot of things you wouldn’t normally experience had you played it safe and went for a carbon copy of yourself.

    Cowboy Bebop on
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    BardiBardi Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I want to jump back in this thread to say two more things:

    1. Assuming your school has them, go to sports games, even if sports aren't your thing. It's incredibly easy to meet people at football games, and they are tons of fun.

    2. don't dismiss the greek system. Making friends with someone in a fraternity or sorority is awesome, and as long as they are not the stereotypical greek type (it depends where you are, but not that many are) it can only help your college experience, even if you have no interest in joining.

    Bardi on
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    ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Absolutely check things out that you might not have a big interest in. Check them out three times.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
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    lizard eats flieslizard eats flies Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    also: if you eat in the dining hall, eat with people. You can go down and just find a group of people you may have met previously and ask to sit with them. Or alternately, if you see someone looking alone and not sure where they are going, just invite them to sit with you. Or heck, if you see someone eating by themselves, introduce yourself. I made a few friends doing these things.

    Another thing is to invite random people over for movie night in your room.. or videogame night or whatever. I think my first night of college i got roped into seeing Pi. I knew like 1 on the people previously, but it was fun, and i came out of it knowing a bunch more.

    And yes, try new stuff. Try out for a play, take a history of jazz class, try swing dancing, try fencing, join the medieval club, join an activist type group, the list goes on and on. Some things you'll like, others you wont, which is fine, but you'll meet tons of people doing so.

    lizard eats flies on
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    CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Thanatos wrote: »
    robothero wrote: »
    Basically just echoing what Bardi said, cuz man nothing is gonna net you a depressing first year at college more than being completely judgemental about everyone around you before you even get to know them.
    Seriously.

    And I really have to side with wally on this one over Sky; the things I regret most in college are the things I didn't do. I seriously wish I hadn't had anything to do with the gaming clubs, and had spread my wings a ton more, gone to more parties, hung out with more different people, and generally pushed my boundaries a lot more.

    I mean, don't get me wrong, I most definitely was not a shut-in or anything like that; I did a ton of stuff in college. But I really wish I had done a lot more, because I'd much rather be regretting the things I did do than the things I didn't. I mean, really, speaking from the elderly age of 27, get out there and do things. Try new shit.

    Personally, I'd recommend avoiding the video game club for the first few weeks of school. It tends to be a place that feeds the shut-ins, and will encourage that sort of behavior. Go somewhere else, try new things instead, and come back to the video games in a few weeks.


    Very good points about not being judgemental and giving people a chance. Part of the whole point of living on campus and even going to university or college is to meet new people, and hanging out with different people with different tastes and backgrounds is a good way to get meet new friends and become a more well rounded person.

    Try new things

    So, maybe you've always been a video game playing, introverted sort of dude. Thats cool, lots of people here are that way. But this is the ideal time to see if there are other things you might like to do that you've never tried before.

    Join a recreational sports team or league. Most schools have teams that put individuals together to form a team. It can be for anything, and you don't have to be any good or know what you're doing. I never played a single team sport in high school or previously, but in my first year at university, I tried both Ultimate and Floor Hockey as recreational activities. You can probably find drop in things you can do if you don't want to commit to a team right away. Active recreation is great for meeting people, getting outside, getting exercise, and generally being awesome.

    Join clubs and try them out. As Thanatos said, you may want to avoid the clubs for things you're already comfortable with. Go to meetings and see if they have things you might want to try. Outdoors or Hiking Clubs are good as they attract people of all varieties.

    Oh, and this would be something I wish I'd done, but there are usual clubs for dance of different kinds. See if there's say, a salsa dance club or something.

    All the things I suggest should be easy to find by asking at your student union building or looking on the web.

    Two more things. Smile at people, and relax.

    Corvus on
    :so_raven:
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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Than is right

    I'm still in college and I've done a lot more good things later in college and expanded my horizons and have a bunch of close friends and whatnot, but looking back as a senior now I regret not making full use of my freshman year to really do all kinds of crazy stuff and meet way more people then

    Regret about not doing things is the worst thing so just... go do things

    The #1 thing to know in college is to be open to new things

    Openness is key

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
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    ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I was heavily involved in an improv group in college. We held a weekly workshop for anyone who wanted to attend. Most of the people showing up were your extroverted performer types with some sort of performance background, but every now and then we would get someone who was introverted, shy, and not connected to performance at all.
    Those people were always awesome to play with. Many came back several times.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
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    TheGreat2ndTheGreat2nd Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Oh, life lesson: don't knock it til you try it.

    TheGreat2nd on
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    I'm Jacob Wilson. | facebook | thegreat2nd | [url="aim:goim?screenname=TheGreatSecond&message=Hello+from+the+Penny+Arcade+Forums!"]aim[/url]
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    Ziac45Ziac45 Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I plan on doing the all sorts of club things but at school the clubs don't open till after a club fair and I have no clue when that is. Probably after memorial day.

    Ziac45 on
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    ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I don't necessarily believe that unless you go to a small college. They might not be advertising, but check out Facebook for any clubs. A lot of them are active on there.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
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    Ziac45Ziac45 Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    It is a small college, I looked around on facebook for different clubs I was interested in spent over an hour looking for the Gamer one and Most of the ones that are on there are Greek Life.

    Ziac45 on
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    DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited September 2009
    What's wrong with Greek Life?

    not every fraternity is about poppin colors and bangin' crazy broads with your bros at a kegger erryday.

    Unknown User on
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    ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Yea, if its a small school I would consider checking out Greek life. I went to a fucking huge University and had a lot of options outside of Greek, so I didn't need to bother.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
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    DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    robothero wrote: »
    What's wrong with Greek Life?

    not every fraternity is about poppin colors and bangin' crazy broads with your bros at a kegger erryday.

    This. Greek life isn't for everyone and doesn't make you more awesome, but there is fun to be had. :)

    Deebaser on
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    DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Ziac45 wrote: »
    It is a small college, I looked around on facebook for different clubs I was interested in spent over an hour looking for the Gamer one and Most of the ones that are on there are Greek Life.

    What school?

    /cracks his googling knuckles

    Deebaser on
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    SammyFSammyF Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    And I really have to side with wally on this one over Sky; the things I regret most in college are the things I didn't do. I seriously wish I hadn't had anything to do with the gaming clubs, and had spread my wings a ton more, gone to more parties, hung out with more different people, and generally pushed my boundaries a lot more.

    On the topic of regretting things you didn't do: they say hindsight is 20/20, when really it isn't; the road not taken has the dubious virtue of never having been tested. The poet Robert Frost is correct that it made all the difference in the world that he chose the path less-travel'd, but note that he does not bother to assert that it has made him happier, for he could not know. Perhaps if he'd chosen differently upon coming to the proverbial fork in the yellow wood, he'd have become rich and famous and have a smoking hot wife with a smoking hot twin sister and a penchant for sharing her sexual escapades with the same. Or something else awesome.

    I'm not being contrary or saying anyone's "doing it wrong" because they did X or didn't do Y -- more like I'm advocating a philosophy of doing things and making choices because you want to enrich your life in that way -- don't do it because that's where the hot girls hang out or because the cools kids say you should or someone might look down on you for making a certain choice. Certainly be cautious about thinking you'll know how you feel about having made a decision when you're in your 30s. No one can say the best path for you, and truth be told, you won't actually know either. You simply have to consider all of your options and pick one; it's up to you to find a reason to be happy with your choice once you've reached its ultimate conclusion.

    TO THAT END : Step one is learning what the options are. Investigating Greek life is a great way to start -- I never went Greek myself, a decision I regret not a whit, but I did go to a few frat parties when I was a first year, and I met other people there who had other interests that ranged above and beyond Greek life at these parties (because not even frat brothers are actually one-dimensional beings). Talk to other folks; even if you only talk to them once in your life, they may make you aware of new possibilities you might not have thought of otherwise. As options open up to you, step two is to make bold decisions to act on those options. I embolden this because some people expect things to happen to them; don't be that person. If you don't actively pick a road and walk down it, chances are you're not going to get anywhere.

    SammyF on
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    IogaIoga Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Thanatos wrote: »

    Personally, I'd recommend avoiding the video game club for the first few weeks of school. It tends to be a place that feeds the shut-ins, and will encourage that sort of behavior. Go somewhere else, try new things instead, and come back to the video games in a few weeks.



    This. Goddamn, this.

    If you're going to join clubs, join clubs that either A) Focus on things you've always wanted to do or B) Have practical advantages - i.e. study clubs.

    Videogame clubs are ok, but most guys play games on some level anyway and while I'm not sure what your dedication to your hobbies may be, take this chance to branch out and try new stuff. Why? Well, variety is the spice of life! And the D&D club will probably be a bunch of mouth-breathers. Trust me on this.

    Ioga on
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    TheGreat2ndTheGreat2nd Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Deebaser wrote: »
    Ziac45 wrote: »
    It is a small college, I looked around on facebook for different clubs I was interested in spent over an hour looking for the Gamer one and Most of the ones that are on there are Greek Life.

    What school?

    /cracks his googling knuckles

    TheGreat2nd on
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    I'm Jacob Wilson. | facebook | thegreat2nd | [url="aim:goim?screenname=TheGreatSecond&message=Hello+from+the+Penny+Arcade+Forums!"]aim[/url]
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    Ziac45Ziac45 Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Its frostburg State university, should I become interested in Greek life I couldn't join until after the first semester its a school rule.

    Ziac45 on
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    TheGreat2ndTheGreat2nd Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    http://involvement.frostburg.edu/student_activities/studentorganizations.html
    It's a decent sized school. What are you interested in doing? I would go around to the...student union? And possibly ask around on where these clubs meet. Or Facebook them.
    Also, professional fraternities aren't so bad. They have some benefits with alumni.

    TheGreat2nd on
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    I'm Jacob Wilson. | facebook | thegreat2nd | [url="aim:goim?screenname=TheGreatSecond&message=Hello+from+the+Penny+Arcade+Forums!"]aim[/url]
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    kaliyamakaliyama Left to find less-moderated fora Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I hope they teach google-fu in college: http://www.frostburg.edu/admin/ois/FastFact/FactSheetFSU2008.pdf

    I gotta be honest: I looked up the stats. With a 25th percentile SAT score of 860 and a 75th percentile of 1060, and an average GPA of 3.1, there are slim odds that Frostburg State University is densely populated with geeks that are intelligent, rather than people who will end up in dead-end retail jobs to feed their MMORPG addictions. You may, and I hope you do, find them, but that will be insufficient to sustain your social life.

    There were 14 comp sci degrees, (with 176 majors, susggesting people try and can't hack it?), 12 music degrees and 2 math degrees. None of that bodes well. Leading the charts are business admin at 114 and psych at 66. You may want to consider looking outside the school for friends, and figuring out other interests to share with people at school. you're goign to waste an opportunity to grow if you hide out because it'll be statistically douchebags to find non-douchebags in your college dorm.

    I hated mine my freshman year - I just got placed with the wrong people. I think I was there for "diversity" as someone who is openly GLBT, because they hand-place the 250 freshman in each living arrangement. I did much better though by just walking outside and meeting people and doing new things and art students.


    edit: I saw you notd you are shy. This applies especially to you, but is good for everyone: I fidn the best friendships arne't ones formd by merely having socail exchanges with them - talking at parties, etc. etc. Instead, you form stronger friendships with lasting memories by doing things together that involve teamwork, skills or other kinds of effort. Things like model UN or intramural sports require team preparation and interaction, so it gives you a context to interact with people even if you're naturally shy. Probably the best thing to do, if you play warhammer and are a hobbyist, would be to do drama and work as a tech or stage hand. You're valued by the group, don't have to say much if you don't want to, and, were you to draw a graph with strangeness on the Y axis and social deftness on the X axis, drama kids are probably the social population furthest to the top right of that graph.

    It's especially important to stay away from video games right at the beginning. If you are shy and don't want to go out, it will almost always be easier to stay in and play games by yourself in your dorm room rather than go out and deal with wandering around campus looking for things to do, and will seem more fun even if when you are going to enjoy yourself lots when you do go out, which you usually will. That, I think, is why PA H/A is full of so threads going "I played too much WoW so I had to drop out of college and work at Wal-Mart instead." Social anxiety and isolation leads to using games as a way to feel less isolated, which only tends to make them more hesitant of the outside world, so they find themselves less interested in interacting with other people that aren't just like them or engaging with their class work, and so they start cariacturing their classmates and subjects as all sorts of negative things.

    Everybody is trying to sort out their friend groups at the moment. Like other people said, those groups won't last but everyone is being very nice to each other as they try to fit in and emulate the social roles and behaviors they think college is about. It isn't a terrible idea to go hang out with people in your dorm and eat with them and then use that to branch out to other social groups.

    kaliyama on
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