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bonK's Guitar Theory for Assholes and Pederasts

2456789

Posts

  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    Welcome to Kerry King guitar school

    okay grab your guitar and just freak out high up on the tiny strings for a few minutes and every so often grab your whammy bar and try and tear it off your guitar

    It doesn't matter what notes you play, just play them really fast

    Congratulations, you graduated!

    Knob on
  • Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Heh, that reminds me of a Dimebag Darrel lesson.

    "I play a scale I call the Dimebag scale. It's pretty much all the notes on the guitar."

    Bob The Monkey on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    ahahahahaha

    that's awesome

    Knob on
  • StrayDogStrayDog Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Knob, this is pretty ace. I tip my hat to you sir.

    StrayDog on
    Let me go down in the mud, where the rivers all run dry.
  • Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I want to be helpful

    but I have been around musicians so long

    that all I can think of to type

    is observational humour about the differences between jazz-funk and funk-jazz

    and knock knock jokes where the punchline is 'philip glass'

    Bob The Monkey on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    basically all i was trying to do is simplify some of the things that baffled me when i was starting out

    one day it occurred to me that all of it was totally related and followed the same sorts of patterns, so i thought maybe trying to explain it in terms of how it all relates might help someone else out

    Knob on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    but like i said, i ain't had any fancy schooling or nothing

    and really advanced theory is beyond me and such

    i resolve to tonic by dropping my instrument and pouring myself some gin

    Knob on
  • ZekZek Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    my roommate plays guitar in the room and I wish he wouldn't. he tries to copy songs on the radio, complete with crappy singing. i suspect he's in it for girls

    sometimes he takes off his shirt too, i don't really get that

    Zek on
  • Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Chords: more theory.

    OK, I figure I can probably teach guys something about chords! I'll try to make this as accessible as possible.

    The easiest way to write a chord progression that will sound good is to make sure you only use notes within a scale of your choice (with some exceptions, but I'll discuss that another time). So before we go on thinking about chords, let's have a look at a scale.

    C D E F G A B
    w w h w w w h

    This, as knob has covered, is a major scale. You construct this by picking a root note (that is, the first note, as in the 'C' in 'C Major') and then going up a series of intervals (the 'w w h w w w h' that knob has already covered). This doesn't just work for C, but with any note. Start on a D, for example, and you'll find that using the interval pattern gets you exactly the sharps you'd expect in the key of D major.

    Now, the 'triads' that knob has mentioned, chords built up of three key notes, are constructed by stacking thirds. This needs a brief explanation. Take the C of the C major scale, for example. Then add a 'third' on top of it (the note two steps higher in the scale). Now you have C and E. Then, treating E as the starting point, add another 'third' on top of that, again from the notes within the C major scale. You get a G, right? C, E and G: a C major triad.

    Now, this has a lot of implications. First of all, if you want to know what E chord to play over a C major scale, do the same starting with E. You get E, then G, then B. An E minor triad! If you want to play an E chord in a C major progression, E minor will be the first one you want to try.


    Now: more interesting chords!

    Stacking thirds, as explained above, doesn't just lead to triads. If you were to stack thirds up to a C major triad as I did before, and then stack an additional third on top of that, you'd find yourself with C-E-G-B. That B is a the seventh, and the chord you're playing is a C-Major 7. Seventh chords have more colour than your standard triads. Experiment with creating sevenths rooted on various notes in the C major scale: starting on G, for example, you'd get G-B-D-F, which sounds very cool indeed (it's a dominant 7 chord, key to the blues).

    Experiment with 7th chords, and when you're happy with that, try stacking thirds even further (although to do this, you'll have to repeat the scale, as you're going to be going over an octave above the root!). You'll find you get 9ths, 11ths and 13ths, which all have their distinctive sounds. Remember the modes knob mentioned? Sometimes, simple triads just don't have enough of the notes from the scale to sound like any mode in particular. The more thirds you stack, the more unique sounds from the scale you add to the chord. Big concepts, and not things you'll have to worry about for a while, but still, they're fun to think about.



    Oh god, I just went a few steps too high, didn't I.

    Bob The Monkey on
  • The_DcipleThe_Dciple Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    jerk him off

    I'm sure he'd get a kick out of it

    The_Dciple on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    nah, that's the next logical step from where i stopped, really

    I guess i could cover slash chords and suspended chords

    Knob on
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Knob I'm gonna go to Denny's and eat several pounds of meat

    Raneados on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    eat an extra pound and then think about me real hard

    i'm hungry and maybe it'll help

    Knob on
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I really feel like some meat

    a good solid, hearty meal to kill this fluecold

    Raneados on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    Slash and Suspended Chords wooooooooo!

    Slash chords are weird. They look like this E/G# or C/E

    What they are is a normal chord with a different lowest note. The first letter tells you what chord to play and the second gives you the bass tone. So we'll take E/G# for example. It is simply an E Major chord, but instead of playing the open E as your lowest note in the chord, you'll play a G# (4th fret on low E string, if you're curious). Pretty easy

    Suspended chords come in 2 flavors, sus2 and sus4. For a sus2, you replace the 3rd in your triad with a 2nd. For a sus4, you replace the 3rd with a 4th. Our C Major triad is C-E-G (Root, 3rd, and 5th), so a Csus2 would be C-D-G and a Csus4 would be C-F-G

    Knob on
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    my head just ejected my brain

    Raneados on
  • Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    knob next time we record I will have replaced my silly legato technique with hardcore alternate picking technique

    rock rock rock

    Bob The Monkey on
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Raneados wrote: »
    my head just ejected my brain

    yeah i just started crying a little bit

    Fallout on
    xcomsig.png
  • Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    NEXT LESSON

    SECONDARY DOMINANTS AND MODAL INTERCHANGE

    Bob The Monkey on
  • Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    LESSON AFTER

    USE OF THE ALTERED SCALE TO PLAY OVER A 5 1 CHORD CHANGE MAKING USE OF SECONDARY DOMINANTS

    Bob The Monkey on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    knob next time we record I will have replaced my silly legato technique with hardcore alternate picking technique

    rock rock rock

    Bob I will have my new SG by next week so I will no longer be able to blame my tone on crappy pickups

    When is your next not busy with school time

    Knob on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    wait what am i doing

    ROOT, 5TH, OCTAVE

    ALL THE CHORD YOU'LL EVER NEED

    Knob on
  • Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    my next not busy with school time is four weeks starting the 24th of march

    are we on for some

    ROCKENING

    Bob The Monkey on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    I think that is a phenomenal plan


    we can make everyone roll their eyes by scrapping all this theory nonsense and just playing ramones songs

    Knob on
  • Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    SINGLE NOTE RHYTHMIC CHUGGING AHOY

    Bob The Monkey on
  • PhonehandPhonehand Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    D:

    D:

    Phonehand on
    pmdunk.jpg
  • PhonehandPhonehand Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I enjoy the Locrian mode

    Phonehand on
    pmdunk.jpg
  • PhonehandPhonehand Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    THERE I CONTRIBUTED

    Phonehand on
    pmdunk.jpg
  • Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    You enjoy the Locrian?

    Do you have a problem, son?

    Bob The Monkey on
  • PhonehandPhonehand Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    As long as it's not that damn troublesome Lydian

    Phonehand on
    pmdunk.jpg
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    hee hee hee

    church modes

    Knob on
  • Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    but the lydian is one of the most practical scales there is

    and the locrian is

    well, it isn't

    are you being sarcastic, phonehand

    Bob The Monkey on
  • PhonehandPhonehand Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    No, when I was learning modes initially, Lydian was the hardest because of the awkward nature of the pattern. That is all. At this point in time I am indifferent to the modes.

    Phonehand on
    pmdunk.jpg
  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    THE BASIC BLUES SHUFFLE

    Rhythm is probably the most important part of blues guitar. While it may not take that many notes to play good blues, a stroing rhythm must be felt throughout. The eigth-note triplet is the most common rhythm in blues music. The eighth note triplet divides each beat (usually quarter notes) into three equal parts. The shuffle rhythm uses the first and last notes of the triplet to create a real smooth and relaxed feeling.

    It looks kinda like this:

    10.gif

    Also try accenting the first note of each triplet to get a real bluesy feel. It should should a lot like Chig-Chug *rest* Chig-Chug *rest*

    There are many many variations of this and I really dont want to go that in depth with rhythm, but if youre interested in learning to play blues, there are many many rhythm paterns to play over different chords.

    12-BAR BLUES PROGRESSION

    The most common blues chord progression:

    I. . . . I . . . . I . . . . I
    IV . . .IV . . . I . . . . I
    V . . . IV . . . I . . . . V

    The I chord indicates your chord of the song and its most likely the key you are playing in, this note is called the tonic. If you go up three steps in the major scale of your tonic, (remember WWHWWWH) you'll get your IV chord. Up another step and you'll find the V chord.

    So, in the 12-bar blues progression, you'll play your rhythm in your I chord for the first four measures. Then switch to your IV chord and play the same rhythm, but in the new chord. Play that for two measures, then play your rhythm in your I chord for two more measures. The next measure youll play your V chord, then the measure following that you'll play your IV chord, and finally back to your tonic note (I chord).

    THE TURNAROUND

    The final measure can be a bit tricky. You can either just play the V chord of your progression, or you can do a variation called a turnaround. The turnaround marks the end of the progression and sets us up to repeat the whole thing again. When i play i usually use 9th chords in my blues turnaround.

    Lets say you are playing in the key of A. This would make your IV chord a D, and your V chord an E. Now in your turnaround you let your I chord (in this case its A) 'bleed' over one beat into your 12th measure. And the chord over the 12th measure in your 12-bar progresion is your V chord (in this case it is E). So on the second beat, play a passing chord to E9 (becasue i like to use 9th chords in my turnaround), we'll use F9 for this passing chord.

    So, try this:

    . . A5 (tonic) . . . F9 . . . E9
    |
    8
    7
    |
    |
    8
    7
    |
    |
    8
    7
    |
    |
    7
    6
    |
    |
    7
    8
    7
    |
    |
    5
    |
    Count 1 . . . . . . . . 2 . . . . & . . 3 . .(4)

    So after you play that measure, you're ready to go back to your first measure with your I chord and start all over again.

    tugga on
  • Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    tugga06 wrote: »
    THE BASIC BLUES SHUFFLE

    Rhythm is probably the most important part of blues guitar. While it may not take that many notes to play good blues, a stroing rhythm must be felt throughout. The eigth-note triplet is the most common rhythm in blues music. The eighth note triplet divides each beat (usually quarter notes) into three equal parts. The shuffle rhythm uses the first and last notes of the triplet to create a real smooth and relaxed feeling.

    It looks kinda like this:

    10.gif

    Also try accenting the first note of each triplet to get a real bluesy feel. It should should a lot like Chig-Chug *rest* Chig-Chug *rest*

    There are many many variations of this and I really dont want to go that in depth with rhythm, but if youre interested in learning to play blues, there are many many rhythm paterns to play over different chords.

    12-BAR BLUES PROGRESSION

    The most common blues chord progression:

    I. . . . I . . . . I . . . . I
    IV . . .IV . . . I . . . . I
    V . . . IV . . . I . . . . V

    The I chord indicates your chord of the song and its most likely the key you are playing in, this note is called the tonic. If you go up three steps in the major scale of your tonic, (remember WWHWWWH) you'll get your IV chord. Up another step and you'll find the V chord.

    So, in the 12-bar blues progression, you'll play your rhythm in your I chord for the first four measures. Then switch to your IV chord and play the same rhythm, but in the new chord. Play that for two measures, then play your rhythm in your I chord for two more measures. The next measure youll play your V chord, then the measure following that you'll play your IV chord, and finally back to your tonic note (I chord).

    THE TURNAROUND

    The final measure can be a bit tricky. You can either just play the V chord of your progression, or you can do a variation called a turnaround. The turnaround marks the end of the progression and sets us up to repeat the whole thing again. When i play i usually use 9th chords in my blues turnaround.

    Lets say you are playing in the key of A. This would make your IV chord a D, and your V chord an E. Now in your turnaround you let your I chord (in this case its A) 'bleed' over one beat into your 12th measure. And the chord over the 12th measure in your 12-bar progresion is your V chord (in this case it is E). So on the second beat, play a passing chord to E9 (becasue i like to use 9th chords in my turnaround), we'll use F9 for this passing chord.

    So, try this:

    . . A5 (tonic) . . . F9 . . . E9
    |
    8
    7
    |
    |
    8
    7
    |
    |
    8
    7
    |
    |
    7
    6
    |
    |
    7
    8
    7
    |
    |
    5
    |
    Count 1 . . . . . . . . 2 . . . . & . . 3 . .(4)

    So after you play that measure, you're ready to go back to your first measure with your I chord and start all over again.

    The only thing I'd mention is that generally you don't actually switch to the IV, but the secondary dominant of the IV. Apart from that, pretty good.

    Bob The Monkey on
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    tugga06 wrote: »
    what i do know is

    I. . . . I . . . . I . . . . I
    IV . . .IV . . . I . . . . I
    V . . . IV . . . I . . . . V

    that's actually wrong though, the last two bars in a blues are the root

    edit: or am I remembering this wrong? I played drums in jazz combo so I've forgotten a lot of the theory

    Captain K on
  • redstormpopcornredstormpopcorn Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I fucking love this thread. The one guitar book I have basically goes "okay the chords and shit are in a million other books so we're just gonna skip that and throw sheet music at you kthx."

    redstormpopcorn on
    emot-kamina.gifBELIEVE IN YOU, WHO BELIEVES IN YOURSELF emot-kamina.gif
  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    edited March 2007
    Captain K wrote: »
    tugga06 wrote: »
    what i do know is

    I. . . . I . . . . I . . . . I
    IV . . .IV . . . I . . . . I
    V . . . IV . . . I . . . . V

    that's actually wrong though, the last two bars in a blues are the root

    edit: or am I remembering this wrong? I played drums in jazz combo so I've forgotten a lot of the theory

    The last bar is the turnaround. People often go to the fifth.

    Tube on
  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    edited March 2007
    Also never listen to Bob about anything. Even if he's right, he's wrong.

    Tube on
  • Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    This thread is awesome and I am going to preserve it like precious gems

    Now tell me what the fuck Buckethead does when he makes weird noises.

    Evil Multifarious on
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