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[Game on] Romance of the Three Kingdoms: A Phallic Forum Fairytale

AroducAroduc regular
edited March 2007 in Games and Technology
THIS IS A NEO RASA APPROVED MAFIA/WEREWOLF-LIKE FORUM GAME.

With apologies to Terry Pratchett


Thunder rolled.

lightning2a7zyz0.jpg

He rolled an 8 and begrudgingly passed the dice to the last player.

The man shook the dice confidently in both hands before casting them onto what, for lack of a better word, chould be considered a table. The players drew a collected breath as they waited for the dice to stop rolling.

And he won.

"What can I say?" he laughed, "It seems like I'm favoring myself."

He always won.

None of the other players were surprised at all. The game was irrelevant, be it Ancient Civilizations, Conquerers of Catan, Floods and Droughts, or even something as simple as Who's the Heir, the outcome was decided as soon as soon as he began playing. You could try to watch for him cheating, but then your eyes left the board, and it wasn't until you tried to think about the game hours afterward that you came to the realization that he had dealt himself not even from the bottom of the deck, but from an entirely different set of cards entirely.

There are signs that he is unusual. He can do tricks that made sparks leap and dance from his fingertips and his voice echoes with harmonics that make your teeth ache and your eyes ring. These are the small things that set him apart from the other players, slight clues in their apperances that reveal their true natures, though in the case of Quel'Shaggoth the Tentacled Monstrosity, somewhat less than slight.

He is Predestination, Kismet... Fate, and while the other gods prefer games of dice and chance, he prefers to play with mortals on the board of the world. This is exactly why he smiled as two new players sat down across from him and spread the pieces for a new game out in front of him. The other players recognized it immediately and quickly gathered up what was left of their antes and made room for the other two.

"Destiny of an Empire, is it? Kings wild? One true heir? Fate of the dynasty?"

The lady's eyes sparkled and gleamed as she nodded to him. Fate and she were eternal rivals, lovers, enemies, and friends and she was one of the few who could best him. She gave him a knowing wink and if you looked closely enough into her eyes, you might catch a glimpse of a spinning coin falling into verdant infinity, or perhaps a clover in an endless field of green. She answered to no name, had no worshippers, and even in his darkest hour, no man would ever dare call on her. It is perhaps better that she remain nameless, but if her occupation could be described, it would be something like the waitress of the Last Chance Saloon.

"The Wang Empire. One thousand years of rule about to come to an end due to 970 years of inbreeding and squabbling. It is here that the three most noble families shall be in dispute as to the rightful successor. The Dongs, the Hungs, and the Johnsons."

"Johnssssonssss!?" hissed Quel'Shaggoth.

The third player nodded, "Long, powerful family, responsible for the deaths of thousands merely for their own pride."

The collective gods nodded. One thing they all understood was the value of life. The true writ of nobility is penned in blood and buttressed by a mountain of corpses for god and mortal alike.

This one may have been a blind woman holding scales, or possibly a regal king wielding a sword of flame. Unlike the lady, he was known by many names; Karma, Revenge, Justice, Righteousness, but most often answered simply to Law. He was used to supplicants calling on him, and the other gods were used to watching his hands at all times. Just when you thought they had his empire beat, they would all too often find out that he'd been palming a Rightful Heir with an Ancient Retribution kicker.

"Forget the dice, I don't trust either of you with them anyway. We shall play with our wits and win by tactics and cold steel alone."

The other two nodded and began to divide up the pieces while the board started to come into definition and become a landscape.

And on the landscape, there was a kingdom.

And in the kingdom, there was a castle.

And in the castle, there was a bed.

And in the bed, the last emperor of the Wang Dynasty died.

The pieces begin to move...


This is a forum game somewhat similar in nature to the XXXshires of ODaM and the Phallas of D&D. The goal of the game is to A.) Survive and B.) Eliminate the other two families with claims to the throne. This is a game of intrigue, deception, betrayal and mob mentality. PMs are allowed. Loosely formed shadowy cabals are encouraged. Betraying your 'allies' for the sake of your family is lauded. Roleplaying is not required, and unless you really want to be a Chinese Warlord, not recommended, but being a backstabbing, conniving bastard certainly is.

At the start of the game, players will be randomly and secretly assigned to the three families. Only their own identity will be known, and only to them. Each day, players will vote the Imperial Seal into the hands of a single player, who will then publicly decide on one player to put to death on the following day. In addition, each family will have one Executor of The Family Will who may assassinate one player of their choice during the night. If an Executor dies, the duties pass to a random member of their family the following day. When any person dies, their family will be revealed, but not any special roles they may have held. This will continue until only one family remains, who will be declared the winner.

In addition, each family will have a number of players with unique roles:
  • An investigator who can learn the familial identity of another player each night
  • Brothers who begin the game knowing that they're of the same family
  • Corrupt officials who can artificially alter the vote once, giving the player of their choice the Imperial Seal for that night, though if multiple officials try to rig the vote, it will fail and their role publicly revealed.
  • Lovers... characters from different families who know the family of another player but take their own life if their lover dies.
  • Onmyouji Monks, who if they are alive during the Day of the Dead (Festival Day with a couple special rules around 5 or 6), their influence will protect all members of their family from death for that day.
  • A Spy, who learns the names that the two rival family investigators researched each night, but not the results.

All the special roles and their exact mechanics are already written and will be made public, but this post is already a bit long. Each family will have an identical distribution and there will be no hidden mechanics.

The game is open to between 36 and 48 players so long as the number is evenly divisible by three. If there's sufficient interest, I might open it up to a few more, but don't hold your breath. Participation is vital, and you will be allowed to miss one vote without excuse before likely being killed for non-participation. In addition, in the event that a random death is needed (an Executor doesn't send in a kill, or the elected official doesn't provide a name to kill), I'm going to 'randomly' choose from the people who have missed the most votes and/or have participated the least and/or are arguably on the chopping block for not playing anyway.

With any luck, THE FIRST DAY WILL START ON SUNDAY AT 10PM EST. All days will end at 10PM EST, at which point flavorful results of the night's activities will be posted and the Imperial Seal passed onto the new holder. All the PMs and the opening narration are already written, we just need people ready to play.


If you want to play, please post something along the lines of "I sign up" or "I'm in" or something similar.

The larger and more colorful you make it, the better. Otherwise, feel free to use this thread to pre-emptively posture in and whatnot or talk about other similar Mafia/Werewolf games and the like. If you want to optimize your enjoyment, I highly suggest making some loose alliances before the game even begins. Information and teams are the only currencies you'll have and you stand a very poor chance of surviving until the end of the game if you insist on being on your own.

Players
  1. thorgot
  2. Sleep
  3. Malkor
  4. titmouse
  5. Cowboybot67
  6. Frosteey
  7. HylianBunny
  8. Pata
  9. Senior Fish
  10. RiemannLives
  11. PsychoLarry1
  12. B:L
  13. Digger Dude
  14. Zek
  15. Archonex
  16. DoNotPursueLuBu
  17. TehSpectre
  18. Avaritia
  19. Cantide
  20. Elbonian Man
  21. cj iwakura
  22. Dizzen
  23. RonnieDobbs
  24. precisionk

Aroduc on
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Posts

  • thorgotthorgot there is special providence in the fall of a sparrowRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    First in. :winky:

    thorgot on
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  • SheepSheep Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2007
    Limed for in-ness.

    Sheep on
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    In I am!

    Malkor on
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  • thorgotthorgot there is special providence in the fall of a sparrowRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    If anybody wants to see some examples of similar (though different) games, check out these previous games.
    Elkamil wrote: »

    The latest one is still sitting in D&D: Phalla X (Phalla IX was cut short by the forum downtime.)

    thorgot on
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  • CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I'm in!

    Couscous on
  • AroducAroduc regular
    edited March 2007
    thorgot wrote: »
    First in. :winky:

    Lemonchiffon is a color?

    Aroduc on
  • thorgotthorgot there is special providence in the fall of a sparrowRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    It's the text color of the new generation. Only old folk and communists use plain white.

    thorgot on
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  • Cowboybot67Cowboybot67 Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I'm in with the sickness

    Cowboybot67 on
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    Yar!
  • FrosteeyFrosteey Elaise 1521-2945-8940Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I vow to restore the glory of the Wang Dynasty, with all my strength.

    Frosteey on
  • thorgotthorgot there is special providence in the fall of a sparrowRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I demand more people!

    thorgot on
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  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Hawtness.

    I'm !in like a safety pin.

    Hi I'm Vee! on
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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I don't think I can participate in more than one Phalla at once, sorry. But I love the concept.

    DarkPrimus on
  • PataPata Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Never tried one of these before.

    I'm so in.

    Pata on
    SRWWSig.pngEpisode 5: Mecha-World, Mecha-nisim, Mecha-beasts
  • thorgotthorgot there is special providence in the fall of a sparrowRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    # Onmyouji Monks, who if they are alive during the Day of the Dead (Festival Day with a couple special rules around 5 or 6), their influence will protect all members of their family from death for that day.
    Since there are no hidden rules, what does this mean?

    thorgot on
    campionthorgotsig.jpg
  • Gorilla SaladGorilla Salad Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    To late for me to sign up?
    If not,
    I !sign up

    Gorilla Salad on
  • thorgotthorgot there is special providence in the fall of a sparrowRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Senor Fish wrote: »
    To late for me to sign up?

    I'm pretty sure he said between 36 and 48 players, so I'm fairly certain there's still time.

    thorgot on
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  • tofutofu Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    As much as I'd like to The Princess' Phalla is starting on monday and if I ahd to keep track of more than one game my head would explode. Have fun though.

    tofu on
  • RiemannLivesRiemannLives Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Hehehe, yeah I've read Interesting Times as well.

    I'm interested.

    RiemannLives on
    Attacked by tweeeeeeees!
  • AroducAroduc regular
    edited March 2007
    tofu wrote: »
    As much as I'd like to The Princess' Phalla is starting on monday and if I ahd to keep track of more than one game my head would explode. Have fun though.
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    I don't think I can participate in more than one Phalla at once, sorry. But I love the concept.

    I shall laugh and laugh and laugh at you two when both of you are dead by night two.
    thorgot wrote: »
    # Onmyouji Monks, who if they are alive during the Day of the Dead (Festival Day with a couple special rules around 5 or 6), their influence will protect all members of their family from death for that day.
    Since there are no hidden rules, what does this mean?

    One day festival where the dead and travellers from other realms (aka, non-players) are allowed to cavort among the living. Public communications only. I expect chaos to result from this. Depending on the death rate, it'll happen at around halfway through the game, so probably in the day 5/6 range.

    Aroduc on
  • PsychoLarry1PsychoLarry1 Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    You can rest assured that I am SO IN

    PsychoLarry1 on
  • B:LB:L I've done worse. Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    IN.

    Dibs on Lo Wang!

    B:L on
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  • Digger DudeDigger Dude Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I AM IN THE IN

    Digger Dude on
  • ZekZek Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    In.

    Zek on
  • ArchonexArchonex No hard feelings, right? Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I'm in. Now i've got an excuse to dig up that avatar from the last Vampire game I played.

    Archonex on
  • Dee KaeDee Kae Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    In, I am, and such.

    Dee Kae on
  • TehSpectreTehSpectre Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I !sign up.

    Yeah.

    TehSpectre on
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  • AvaritiaAvaritia Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    [size=big]I'm in ur game playing with ur mans!

    I've never done this before but I hereby display my interest.
    [/size]

    Avaritia on
    May contain sarcasm, irony, hyperboles, lies, slander, personal opinions, madness and crimes against grammar.
    ... and nuts.
  • thorgotthorgot there is special providence in the fall of a sparrowRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Archonex wrote: »
    I'm in. Now i've got an excuse to dig up that avatar from the last Vampire game I played.

    Your win as thrall was awesomely cruel to both sides.

    thorgot on
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  • AroducAroduc regular
    edited March 2007
    Whooaaaaaa we're halfway there...
    Whooooaaaa living on a prayer.

    I can also tweak things if people want to do this with fewer. The lovers would be the first to go, and the corrupt officials would probably also bite it. I kind of like them though, so... *shrug*

    Aroduc on
  • CantideCantide Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I !sign up

    Cantide on
  • Elbonian ManElbonian Man Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    It took a while to decide if it would be more fun to come in this thread during the festival or play, but I !Sign UP

    Will there be any specials that overlap such as a lover that is also a spy?

    Elbonian Man on
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Bears The Name FreedomRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    In with relish as the Malkavians would say, or something.

    I'm only familiar with the Werewolf version(and vaguely at that), but I'll give it a shot.

    cj iwakura on
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  • AroducAroduc regular
    edited March 2007

    Will there be any specials that overlap such as a lover that is also a spy?

    Nope. And the Executor duties will quasi-randomly pass through the non-special players first.

    Aroduc on
  • DizzenDizzen Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I'm a newb at this sort of thing, but it sounds really fun.
    +1 to being In

    Dizzen on
  • Elbonian ManElbonian Man Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Aroduc wrote: »

    Will there be any specials that overlap such as a lover that is also a spy?

    Nope. And the Executor duties will quasi-randomly pass through the non-special players first.

    Quasi-randomly as in as random as an RNG can be or what? And do all kill orders go through regardless of if the issuer dies on the same night?

    The game doesn't seem to be rushing to any large numbers so I'd like to see it cut off at 21 or 24.

    Elbonian Man on
  • thorgotthorgot there is special providence in the fall of a sparrowRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    It's already up to 22, so I don't see 21 happening.

    thorgot on
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  • Elbonian ManElbonian Man Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    thorgot wrote: »
    It's already up to 22, so I don't see 21 happening.

    I didn't cj's puny post next to my beige glory, sorry.

    Elbonian Man on
  • AroducAroduc regular
    edited March 2007
    Aroduc wrote: »

    Will there be any specials that overlap such as a lover that is also a spy?

    Nope. And the Executor duties will quasi-randomly pass through the non-special players first.

    Quasi-randomly as in as random as an RNG can be or what? And do all kill orders go through regardless of if the issuer dies on the same night?

    The game doesn't seem to be rushing to any large numbers so I'd like to see it cut off at 21 or 24.

    The former. And yes, but the next night is 'lost' while the role finds its way to a new holder. Depending on how the endgame ends up, this may be altered as well so that there aren't four people alive with three of them having kills or the like.

    And I wouldn't be too opposed to delaying it one day. The PMs are already written (as much as I like you guys, I'm not writing 30 some odd unique ones, so you get about 9 very nice ones... all of which will be publicly posted before I send them), so I could start it at a moment's notice and there's a decent chance weekday people will see it if the start is delayed 24 hours or so since Friday afternoon before spring break for schools may have affected it somewhat. Or I'm rationalizing.

    Aroduc on
  • ArchonexArchonex No hard feelings, right? Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Not to get off-topic but does anyone have the link to the old Wangshire vampire game? I wanted to get my old avatar since it fits the theme of things but I couldn't find the post. Plus, that was a pretty sweet avatar.

    Archonex on
  • Elbonian ManElbonian Man Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Archonex wrote: »
    Not to get off-topic but does anyone have the link to the old Wangshire vampire game? I wanted to get my old avatar since it fits the theme of things but I couldn't find the post. Plus, that was a pretty sweet avatar.

    I imagine it got pruned. None of the early games were saved.

    Elbonian Man on
This discussion has been closed.