5. We would have sex once a month. And only when he initiated it. He was 20 and had the sex drive of an 80 year old man in a coma. I was absolutely willing to do it every fucking day, but nope, every fucking day would be me giving him head (I didn't mind it. I liked doing it), and once a month was mediocre sex (this was my first relationship, and even then I knew it was lame). So, once during sex, we tried getting into a certain position that he really wanted. I was significantly shorter than him, so it just wasn't working out. I saw the humor in this, but he never did. Since it wasn't working out properly, he SHOVED me, hard, off of him, rolled over, and went to sleep all pissed off because that one position sucked.
Well clearly the lack of sex was due to your lack of Porn Star tits.
I imagine this guy had a mullet. Please tell me this is the case it will add to the humor.
King Riptor on
I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
Haha, no. he was in the military, so quite the opposite of a mullet.
Damn my non-pornstar tits. Damn them to hell.
Speaking of hell, I wasn't 'allowed' to day any sort of curse. Not even 'damn' or 'hell'. or else he'd get furious and like... smack my arm or something ridiculous.
There was no "lets go see hellboy"... he would avoid those words so much it would be "Lets go see that movie with that red guy" "hellboy?" "WHAAAT ARRAGGLBLAGHL"
Haha, no. he was in the military, so quite the opposite of a mullet.
Damn my non-pornstar tits. Damn them to hell.
Speaking of hell, I wasn't 'allowed' to day any sort of curse. Not even 'damn' or 'hell'. or else he'd get furious and like... smack my arm or something ridiculous.
There was no "lets go see hellboy"... he would avoid those words so much it would be "Lets go see that movie with that red guy" "hellboy?" "WHAAAT ARRAGGLBLAGHL"
Pornstar tits are fine...for pornstars I guess. But there's a reason for them and it involves $$$. Otherwise, I'm happy with whatever god gave folks.
Now you can sit down and enjoy some George Carlin and watch with the volume up really loud.
Haha, no. he was in the military, so quite the opposite of a mullet.
Damn my non-pornstar tits. Damn them to hell.
Speaking of hell, I wasn't 'allowed' to day any sort of curse. Not even 'damn' or 'hell'. or else he'd get furious and like... smack my arm or something ridiculous.
There was no "lets go see hellboy"... he would avoid those words so much it would be "Lets go see that movie with that red guy" "hellboy?" "WHAAAT ARRAGGLBLAGHL"
i read the thread in H/A too, and i admit to being incredibly confused about this. Since you guys had sex, however rarely, it couldn't be because he was religious, so what possible objection could he have to swearing?
good job dumping him though, he sounds like a raging ass.
on topic, I seemed to attract the crazy girls throughout middle and high-school. However, I was lucky enough to avoid long-term relationships with them, and therefore have nothing to contribute to this thread :?
Haha, no. he was in the military, so quite the opposite of a mullet.
Damn my non-pornstar tits. Damn them to hell.
Speaking of hell, I wasn't 'allowed' to day any sort of curse. Not even 'damn' or 'hell'. or else he'd get furious and like... smack my arm or something ridiculous.
There was no "lets go see hellboy"... he would avoid those words so much it would be "Lets go see that movie with that red guy" "hellboy?" "WHAAAT ARRAGGLBLAGHL"
Man, sometimes I do bad stuff to my girlfriend (not horrible things, just sometimes I'll catch myself saying something mean or acting selfish - I always feel terrible and apologize for it later), but at least I never was that messed up.
I guess the good times must have been pretty good, huh? You obviously can't chalk up staying with him to the mind-blowing sex. :P
Haha, no. he was in the military, so quite the opposite of a mullet.
Damn my non-pornstar tits. Damn them to hell.
Speaking of hell, I wasn't 'allowed' to day any sort of curse. Not even 'damn' or 'hell'. or else he'd get furious and like... smack my arm or something ridiculous.
There was no "lets go see hellboy"... he would avoid those words so much it would be "Lets go see that movie with that red guy" "hellboy?" "WHAAAT ARRAGGLBLAGHL"
That's . . . odd.
No mullet? Oh well. I guess I'll picture him as the Chet from Weird Science then.
King Riptor on
I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
Haha, no. he was in the military, so quite the opposite of a mullet.
Damn my non-pornstar tits. Damn them to hell.
Speaking of hell, I wasn't 'allowed' to day any sort of curse. Not even 'damn' or 'hell'. or else he'd get furious and like... smack my arm or something ridiculous.
There was no "lets go see hellboy"... he would avoid those words so much it would be "Lets go see that movie with that red guy" "hellboy?" "WHAAAT ARRAGGLBLAGHL"
"Hey Alyce"
"Hello"
*SLAP*
?
You should be saying "Heaven-o". Fight Satan with your words!
My buddy from back home got himself a bit of a stalker once.
(this is a long'un)
Must have been about a year and a half ago now? Maybe more?
She walked into the Game store where I worked and I went over to do my salesperson spiel ("What is it you're looking for? Who are you buying for? WHY NOT GET A PS3?!") she said she just came in to see if there were any hot guys working here but she supposes not (ego = bruised) and I say "well, you'll probably like Andy, he's your typical pretty boy but he's not working today"
She tells me that she's going to be working in the Game store in the shopping centre at the other end of the street our store is on and heads off.
There's nothing for a couple of weeks and then we get a call in saying that a couple of folk from their store have called in sick and could we send someone along to help out. Our manager sends along Andy.
As we're shutting up shop my mate and I get an SMS from Andy which reads "Emma just dropped her number into my pocket as I left..."
My friend replies "Call her. Do her."
And he does. ("Hey this is Andy, how's it going?" "Pretty good, just lying here naked touching myself while I think about you")
They get together a couple of times. Literally just for sex. She comes round, they fuck, she leaves. Ideal siuation for them both apparently. Then she starts to text him and call him more and more often. She comes into work to see him. We're all getting a kick out of this, Andy decides to break it off sooner rather than later. Good choice, well done Andy.
But she doesn't consider it to be over. The texts and calls continue, he would get roughly 70-100 a day from this girl while he never replied to a single one. Eventually he finally sends her a text reading "Emma, stop it. I've told you I'm not interested." and she stops...for about an hour.
He said that on a couple of occasions, she had called him at about 6am and had the following conversation.
"What you doin'?"
"I was sleeping"
"Can I come round?"
"No, I'm going back to bed"
"Don't worry I'll just lie down naked next to you, you won't even know I'm there"
"Bye, Emma" *click*
Then she tries to get to him through me...
Eventually she stops with Andy and after about a month I get a MSN add request. It's her. We're chatting, I ask what's up? she says "I'm over Andy"
"Oh, great!"
"But I can't stop thinking about you"
"...Riiiight..."
"Do you want to go to the cinema or something?"
(I decide I can play this off nicely) "To see what?"
"Doesn't matter, I just want to fuck you in the cinema"
(BALLS!) "Emmm I'm going to be busy this week. Maybe next week but no promises"
"I'll let you do me anal"
"Gotta go!"
Then she sends me an email telling me she's not over Andy, she barely stops thinking about him. Then proceeds to go off on a crazy rant about how he's such a dick and how he left her stranded outside of town in the rain after he made her bleed "because he was too big for her" (inverted commas because I don't know if that claim has any basis)
This rant is well over 5 paragraphs of hatred. I've just finished readng it and I'm trying to work out what the hell is going on when I notice there's a follow-up email which reads, and i quote
"Lovely penis though. Nice curve to it."
Now, I nearly wet myself laughing at that sudden change of character. As did all of my work colleagues, including Andy. It's now a running joke with us that when you get really annoyed at anybody for anything you follow it up with "Lovely penis though!"
Haha, no. he was in the military, so quite the opposite of a mullet.
Damn my non-pornstar tits. Damn them to hell.
Speaking of hell, I wasn't 'allowed' to day any sort of curse. Not even 'damn' or 'hell'. or else he'd get furious and like... smack my arm or something ridiculous.
There was no "lets go see hellboy"... he would avoid those words so much it would be "Lets go see that movie with that red guy" "hellboy?" "WHAAAT ARRAGGLBLAGHL"
i read the thread in H/A too, and i admit to being incredibly confused about this. Since you guys had sex, however rarely, it couldn't be because he was religious, so what possible objection could he have to swearing?
good job dumping him though, he sounds like a raging ass.
on topic, I seemed to attract the crazy girls throughout middle and high-school. However, I was lucky enough to avoid long-term relationships with them, and therefore have nothing to contribute to this thread :?
He wasn't religious at all. I think it was because he thought it was crude, or rude, or impolite. This is coming from a guy who, i think... said 'thank you' to me once the whole time we were dating.
Also, when something was bothering him, he REFUSED to tell me what it was. He wouldn't talk, he would speak, sometimes he'd cry when he thought I wasn't looking or something. No matter how many times I've asked him to speak what was on his mind, he wouldn't, and he'd get REALLy mad for my concern.
Another thing was if I bought or made anything for him, he'd yell at me. He went away for a military thing for a while, and I decided to sew him a little stuffed penguin, and a tiny ninja. I thought it was cute, and nice, so I gave them to him, and he was furious. He yelled at me because I "knew he didn't like receiving gifts" and how I apparently don't listen ever.
I have mentioned this before in H/A about an engaged couple I lived with who are... crazy by my standards but not compared to this thread.
Guy - Has, since I known him to be Oblivious to everything, or how anything he says can be interpereted badly/ doesn't know when to stop digging, so problems are rife just with him in any relationship. Enter the hyper sensitive girlfriend.
I'm an idiot for living with them for a year anyway, as they fought - she yelled and he'd look confused over such gems as:
"you didn't react quickly enough when I [*told one of those stories taht everyone does occasionally, where the answer of 'no you are wonderful darling' is red flagged as a response but he doesn't get it* ]don't you love me?]
When they were dating I used to help him out, and prod because he just doesn't get subtext - But after a while he would know when a response was expected but not what and would start jokingly saying 'help me Lacroix!' which obviously not the right response for her, so I started staying completely out of it after that because needing roomie to give 'what to say platitudes' as a crutch isn't good.
"You didn't move everything you own from your parents' house into the flat? (meaning old childhood toys/videos/games that guy hadn't moved) - How am I supposed to take that - You're home is supposed to be with me, and you are giving your self a safety net to go and run home if things don't work out - not committed etc."
(Bear in mind their home was also with me in a shared flat, and that she hadn't consulted me before moving everything she owned in, so was surprised to move into an already full living room - but that is beside the point of this story)
Addendum: After moving all the VHS tapes he had stored at home she had intended to throw them away ('I mean how many of these do you watch? We don't have a VCR here...)
Mercifully she relented to that I think. They never arrived while I was there, I dunno about if his family home is empty of stuff now they live together...
No sex until marriage - and she admitted to picking a fight with him on her honeymoon to avoid having sex rather than y'know... talking about it like grown ups.
These are just snippets but i'll tl;dr - Lived with a crazy couple and wanted to kill them for constant public fights... but apparently they are compatibly crazy and are married... and though they still fight whenever I see them... she seems to flip from rage to 'loooove' in a heartbeat - more power to them if they are happily crazy say I (for those of you who read the H/A thread, I would not have been able to say this easily when I lived with them... and still don't want to spend protracted amounts of time with them together, as fights start (one in a barmeal place we went to today - I just stared at my food and hoped people weren't staring) but if they are happy, thats all that matters.
Haha, no. he was in the military, so quite the opposite of a mullet.
Damn my non-pornstar tits. Damn them to hell.
Speaking of hell, I wasn't 'allowed' to day any sort of curse. Not even 'damn' or 'hell'. or else he'd get furious and like... smack my arm or something ridiculous.
There was no "lets go see hellboy"... he would avoid those words so much it would be "Lets go see that movie with that red guy" "hellboy?" "WHAAAT ARRAGGLBLAGHL"
i read the thread in H/A too, and i admit to being incredibly confused about this. Since you guys had sex, however rarely, it couldn't be because he was religious, so what possible objection could he have to swearing?
good job dumping him though, he sounds like a raging ass.
on topic, I seemed to attract the crazy girls throughout middle and high-school. However, I was lucky enough to avoid long-term relationships with them, and therefore have nothing to contribute to this thread :?
He wasn't religious at all. I think it was because he thought it was crude, or rude, or impolite. This is coming from a guy who, i think... said 'thank you' to me once the whole time we were dating.
Also, when something was bothering him, he REFUSED to tell me what it was. He wouldn't talk, he would speak, sometimes he'd cry when he thought I wasn't looking or something. No matter how many times I've asked him to speak what was on his mind, he wouldn't, and he'd get REALLy mad for my concern.
Another thing was if I bought or made anything for him, he'd yell at me. He went away for a military thing for a while, and I decided to sew him a little stuffed penguin, and a tiny ninja. I thought it was cute, and nice, so I gave them to him, and he was furious. He yelled at me because I "knew he didn't like receiving gifts" and how I apparently don't listen ever.
I'm so glad I'm done with him. SO GLAD
Honestly, a girl who gives daily blowjobs and sews tiny stuffed ninjas? Your standards should be pretty fucking high. :P
My buddy from back home got himself a bit of a stalker once.
(this is a long'un)
Must have been about a year and a half ago now? Maybe more?
She walked into the Game store where I worked and I went over to do my salesperson spiel ("What is it you're looking for? Who are you buying for? WHY NOT GET A PS3?!") she said she just came in to see if there were any hot guys working here but she supposes not (ego = bruised) and I say "well, you'll probably like Andy, he's your typical pretty boy but he's not working today"
She tells me that she's going to be working in the Game store in the shopping centre at the other end of the street our store is on and heads off.
There's nothing for a couple of weeks and then we get a call in saying that a couple of folk from their store have called in sick and could we send someone along to help out. Our manager sends along Andy.
As we're shutting up shop my mate and I get an SMS from Andy which reads "Emma just dropped her number into my pocket as I left..."
My friend replies "Call her. Do her."
And he does. ("Hey this is Andy, how's it going?" "Pretty good, just lying here naked touching myself while I think about you")
They get together a couple of times. Literally just for sex. She comes round, they fuck, she leaves. Ideal siuation for them both apparently. Then she starts to text him and call him more and more often. She comes into work to see him. We're all getting a kick out of this, Andy decides to break it off sooner rather than later. Good choice, well done Andy.
But she doesn't consider it to be over. The texts and calls continue, he would get roughly 70-100 a day from this girl while he never replied to a single one. Eventually he finally sends her a text reading "Emma, stop it. I've told you I'm not interested." and she stops...for about an hour.
He said that on a couple of occasions, she had called him at about 6am and had the following conversation.
"What you doin'?"
"I was sleeping"
"Can I come round?"
"No, I'm going back to bed"
"Don't worry I'll just lie down naked next to you, you won't even know I'm there"
"Bye, Emma" *click*
Then she tries to get to him through me...
Eventually she stops with Andy and after about a month I get a MSN add request. It's her. We're chatting, I ask what's up? she says "I'm over Andy"
"Oh, great!"
"But I can't stop thinking about you"
"...Riiiight..."
"Do you want to go to the cinema or something?"
(I decide I can play this off nicely) "To see what?"
"Doesn't matter, I just want to fuck you in the cinema"
(BALLS!) "Emmm I'm going to be busy this week. Maybe next week but no promises"
"I'll let you do me anal"
"Gotta go!"
Then she sends me an email telling me she's not over Andy, she barely stops thinking about him. Then proceeds to go off on a crazy rant about how he's such a dick and how he left her stranded outside of town in the rain after he made her bleed "because he was too big for her" (inverted commas because I don't know if that claim has any basis)
This rant is well over 5 paragraphs of hatred. I've just finished readng it and I'm trying to work out what the hell is going on when I notice there's a follow-up email which reads, and i quote
"Lovely penis though. Nice curve to it."
Now, I nearly wet myself laughing at that sudden change of character. As did all of my work colleagues, including Andy. It's now a running joke with us that when you get really annoyed at anybody for anything you follow it up with "Lovely penis though!"
Edit: She's still crazy and still after him
I'm not known for making excellent decisions but I mean free anal and a movie seems like a good deal to me.
King Riptor on
I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
My buddy from back home got himself a bit of a stalker once.
(this is a long'un)
Must have been about a year and a half ago now? Maybe more?
She walked into the Game store where I worked and I went over to do my salesperson spiel ("What is it you're looking for? Who are you buying for? WHY NOT GET A PS3?!") she said she just came in to see if there were any hot guys working here but she supposes not (ego = bruised) and I say "well, you'll probably like Andy, he's your typical pretty boy but he's not working today"
She tells me that she's going to be working in the Game store in the shopping centre at the other end of the street our store is on and heads off.
There's nothing for a couple of weeks and then we get a call in saying that a couple of folk from their store have called in sick and could we send someone along to help out. Our manager sends along Andy.
As we're shutting up shop my mate and I get an SMS from Andy which reads "Emma just dropped her number into my pocket as I left..."
My friend replies "Call her. Do her."
And he does. ("Hey this is Andy, how's it going?" "Pretty good, just lying here naked touching myself while I think about you")
They get together a couple of times. Literally just for sex. She comes round, they fuck, she leaves. Ideal siuation for them both apparently. Then she starts to text him and call him more and more often. She comes into work to see him. We're all getting a kick out of this, Andy decides to break it off sooner rather than later. Good choice, well done Andy.
But she doesn't consider it to be over. The texts and calls continue, he would get roughly 70-100 a day from this girl while he never replied to a single one. Eventually he finally sends her a text reading "Emma, stop it. I've told you I'm not interested." and she stops...for about an hour.
He said that on a couple of occasions, she had called him at about 6am and had the following conversation.
"What you doin'?"
"I was sleeping"
"Can I come round?"
"No, I'm going back to bed"
"Don't worry I'll just lie down naked next to you, you won't even know I'm there"
"Bye, Emma" *click*
Then she tries to get to him through me...
Eventually she stops with Andy and after about a month I get a MSN add request. It's her. We're chatting, I ask what's up? she says "I'm over Andy"
"Oh, great!"
"But I can't stop thinking about you"
"...Riiiight..."
"Do you want to go to the cinema or something?"
(I decide I can play this off nicely) "To see what?"
"Doesn't matter, I just want to fuck you in the cinema"
(BALLS!) "Emmm I'm going to be busy this week. Maybe next week but no promises"
"I'll let you do me anal"
"Gotta go!"
Then she sends me an email telling me she's not over Andy, she barely stops thinking about him. Then proceeds to go off on a crazy rant about how he's such a dick and how he left her stranded outside of town in the rain after he made her bleed "because he was too big for her" (inverted commas because I don't know if that claim has any basis)
This rant is well over 5 paragraphs of hatred. I've just finished readng it and I'm trying to work out what the hell is going on when I notice there's a follow-up email which reads, and i quote
"Lovely penis though. Nice curve to it."
Now, I nearly wet myself laughing at that sudden change of character. As did all of my work colleagues, including Andy. It's now a running joke with us that when you get really annoyed at anybody for anything you follow it up with "Lovely penis though!"
Edit: She's still crazy and still after him
I'm not known for making excellent decisions but I mean free anal and a movie seems like a good deal to me.
He wasn't religious at all. I think it was because he thought it was crude, or rude, or impolite. This is coming from a guy who, i think... said 'thank you' to me once the whole time we were dating.
Also, when something was bothering him, he REFUSED to tell me what it was. He wouldn't talk, he would speak, sometimes he'd cry when he thought I wasn't looking or something. No matter how many times I've asked him to speak what was on his mind, he wouldn't, and he'd get REALLy mad for my concern.
Another thing was if I bought or made anything for him, he'd yell at me. He went away for a military thing for a while, and I decided to sew him a little stuffed penguin, and a tiny ninja. I thought it was cute, and nice, so I gave them to him, and he was furious. He yelled at me because I "knew he didn't like receiving gifts" and how I apparently don't listen ever.
I'm so glad I'm done with him. SO GLAD
He had to be insane. A girl sews him a NINJA and he says he doesn't like gifts?
I mean putting aside the fact that only some sort of miser hermit hates gifts who passes up a ninja? The ultimate symbol of love?
King Riptor on
I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
Okay, so I've been following this thread from the start and read some horrible and some quite harrowing tales of people dating crazy people. I was thinking to myself 'have I ever dated a crazy person?' The suddenly I realised... why yes, yes I have. And by golly was he a crazy one! Also, this is super long so spoilered, as is the TL;DR, so if you want to read the long bit you're not spoiling it for yourself. The main story is super long though, you have been warned!
Now this all starts when I was 16, just starting sixth form. I'd known I was gay for a few years, and I'd recentley told my friends and my mum, and they were all cool with it. Big weight off my shoulders, all that stuff. Next on my list now I knew I had the support of the people I loved was to start dating. The trouble was that the only other person I knew to be gay at the time was a good friend from a previous school (I told him I was gay... a week later he told me he was), and that was it. So being 16 and unable to go to bars and such I decided to look online for a date. I posted an ad on a dating website that was meant for over 18's, and waiting. Turns out I didn't have to wait too long, as a few days later I got a message from someone. I was over the moon!
(Sorry for the blatant quoting of my own post... it got lost at the bottom of a page!)
I started chatting to this guy, and he seemed like a cool guy. If I am remembering right (this all happened close to a decade ago now, so my memory fails me on some of the details) he told me he was in his early twenties, so I thought fair enough. We started chatting on the phone after a while, about all sorts of things, and were getting on great. To be honest though, at 16 and knowing only one other gay person, I think it was just great to be able to chat to someone who was also gay, and seemed to like me in more than a friendly way.
It wasn't too long before we decided to meet up, and being the cautious guy I am, I asked him to come to my town (he lived in Manchester, I lived in Lincoln, about a 3 hour train journey from him) so that we could go out on familiar territory and in public. I told my mum and my friends aswell, because I had heard some horror stories about online dating, so I wanted to be super safe. Now, I had never seen a picture of this guy. All I knew about his physical appearance is that he was Indian. So I go to the train station and wait for him to arrive... and off the train steps this guy. My first impression? Obviously not in his early twenties.
No no, he wasn't like 50 or anything, but there WAS a significant age gap. He admitted to me that he was in fact 27, almost 28, so a good 11 years my senior. At the time this didn't bother me, as again I was starved for attention and hadn't had much contact with other gay people. I took the news in my stride, and we went out on a date. That night, to my suprise I had my first kiss in the back seat of a cinema (which also freaked me out cos I was so worried someone might see and go nuts... ah those days of believing EVERYONE was homophobic). It was generally a good evening, and he was a gentleman. He left, and we continued to chat on the phone, and started to arrange and go on more dates. I eventually even went over to Manchester and stayed overnight in his flat. Time passed, we continued to see each other, and things got serious.
I went to his every weekend if I could, I got a job to pay for train fare and other stuff (though eventually he started putting money in my account to help me with the travelling), we exchanged I love yous after a couple of months, and in my eyes everything was great. This was going to be the guy for me. We would be together forever, I would move in after sixth form and get a job in Manchester, etc, etc.
So where's the crazy, I hear you cry? Apart from me being crazy to go out with someone so much older, and him to go out with someone so much younger, all seems good, right? Well........
During our relationship he did some creepy stuff. What I remember most was that he'd like to bring up stuff about my life that I wasn't too keen on chatting about. We'd be laid in bed talking, and he'd bring up this stuff that I'd talked with him about before... but he'd really push it, and pretty much make me cry. I made it clear I didn't want to talk about it, that it was uncomfortable to talk about it a lot, but he would keep on asking and pressuring. I didn't like it.
Again, doesn't seem like a lot, right? I'm getting to the real crazy, bear with me.
So after 9 months of being together, I went on holiday with my family to Portugal. While there I had some time to think about things, about how I was dating a guy 11 years older than me, I was only 17 (it had just been my birthday at that point, he was 28 then) and maybe was a bit young to be settling down, he was a bit creepy and pushy, and I also started to doubt that I actually loved him. After all, I had no idea what love really was... was I sure that was what I was feeling? All this leads me to the decision that I should break up with him.
So when I got home I made the very poor decision to call him up and dump him over the phone. Afterall, he did live very far away. So I did just that. Of course he was devestated, he cried, he asked me to reconsider, etc. I told him my reasons, and that I would still like to be friends. After a while he seemed pretty understanding, and we did continue to chat a whole lot on the phone. And here is where the real crazy begins.
September 11th 2001. I got home from sixth form that day to witness the events unfolding on TV. I was shocked, upset, all of the stuff people felt that day. What I didn't expect was to get a call that evening from my ex. You can guess where he said he was. Yes, he claimed to be in New York. He claimed to have been stood right next to the towers when the planes hit. He claimed to have been hit by falling debris, and was now on the phone to me while stumbling around New York City, finding his way to a hospital. I could hear people in the background, but no sirens, no shouts or cries. Just sounded like he was in any normal street. At the time I was hooked in right away, I believed him. He had to go eventuall when he found a hospital, but later called me back, from his mobile, whilst still inside the hospital, once the nurse had seen him. We chatted a while, I was worried but thought he would be okay. We said goodbye, and that was that for the night.
The next day, someone logs onto MSN with my ex's account. I say, hi, wondering who it is as my ex was meant to be in New York (to this day I have no idea what he was meant to be doing in New York... but since it was all make-believe, he didn't really need to explain). This person told me they were a friend of my ex, and had come online to tell me that he had gone into a coma. I was shocked, distressed... how could this have happened? A day or so later, the same person came back on to his MSN account and announced something even more shocking.
My ex had died.
Well, this was just too much. I was heart-broken. I cried like crazy, I couldn't believe it. Well, I didn't have long for it to sink in. I think later that evening I got a call. Someone made some noises down the phone to me, grunts. It was my ex. Basically, from what I 'gathered' from asking questions and him grunting responses, he had died for several minutes, but had been brought back to life! He was now unable to speak properly, and had to have the nurse dial the phone for him. I never actually got to speak to that nurse... you know, because she didn't exist!!!
We continue 'talking' for several days, he regains speech, I decide to take him back one day, because I felt so bad, but the next day I decided against it. So anyway, that fiasco finishes, and he comes back home and we continue to chat on the phone. I come to realise that my ex had made up everything about 9/11 (though I don't confess this knowledge to him at the time), and I decide I don't really want to be friends with him anymore. He seems to take this well enough... and then takes the opportunity to tell me something, something he's been wanting to tell me for a while. Now, this is a good fews months after I broke up with him. He's now straight. In fact, he has a girlfriend! Wow, I think. What a load of bullshit.
This is confirmed to me by him calling several months later (about 5 or 6) to inform me he is now MARRIED and had TWINS! No names were given, no mention of when they were born or conceived, nothing. After that, we pretty much stop talking.
During all this, between the 9/11 incident and him revealing he is now a straight man with a wife and children, someone claiming to be my ex's friend, using his MSN account, keeps talking to me. This person becomes more and more agressive with me, telling me how horrible I've been to my ex. Around this time I start getting calls from strangers... apparently my home number, something only my ex would have as we were ex-directory and I know my friends would never do anything like this, has been posted on a gay site with info about how I wanted to hook up with older guys, and that I wanted phone sex!!! My parents picked up a lot of these calls, and they were not happy about all these men wanting to speak to me! This lasted for a good two months.
At one point I got so upset with all this happening, and with being talked to horribly by this person on MSN that my mum decided she had to talk to this person herself. She told this person to leave me alone, etc... in reply, this person (who you all now should have guessed is my ex being a total dick) told my mum that her 17 year old son watched hardcore gay porn on the internet. I was MORTIFIED. Other things done online? He hacked my e-mail account, changed the password so I could never log back in again, and I had to set up a new one and lost a lot of good online friends as I couldn't remember their e-mails to add them again. He sent porn from that account to people, which I had to explain to my friends. It was just humiliating.
Eventually the guy stops bothering. For a good 5 years I hear nothing. Then out of the blue I get an e-mail, just asking how I am! Someone adds me to MSN... it's him. I obviously block and delete when I find out. I'd moved on and was still so angry at him. But a year later he tries again. This time, because so much time has passed and he knows nothing about me anymore, I ask him how he is, what he is doing. He proceeds to tell me how he is in a relationship with a blind man (wife and kids are not mentioned... hmmm) and that he hates this guy now, but can't leave him because he went blind while they were together and the guy relies on him now. However, my ex is cheating on him behind his back, because he resents the guy so much. I have a feeling he was going to make a proposition, but I deleted him from MSN again before I could find out. Just out of curiosity I searched his e-mail in google. 5 hits. All dating websites. A picture showing him now disturbed me (what did I see in him???), but not as much as the ad itself. He went by the name 'Zach', which is not his real name, and he put in these ads that he, a 34/35 year old man by this point, was looking for guys aged 16-18. I shuddered hard.
Want to know something else, that is both sad and funny? A month after I started seeing this guy in the first place, after I thought this was the only guy who would answer me after being quite desperate and lonely and seeking gay company... I got about 6 messages from other guys in response to my ad. I really should have replied to them!
TL;DR:
I dated a guy I met on the net when I was 16, and he was 28. I broke up with him after 9 months, and he proceeded to become a compulsive liar and generally crazy person... he claimed to have been injured in 9/11, which led to him being in a coma, DYING, and then being revived... this all took away his ability to speak. Several months later he claims to now be STRAIGHT, with a wife and twins... who were born after about 5 or 6 months by the sounds of it. He pretends to be someone else online to be horrible to me, send gay porn to my friends after hacking into my e-mail account and then blocking me from that e-mail account, he told my mother that I watched gay porn online, he put an ad with my home number online which caused many men to call my house looking for phone sex... After a long quiet spell (several years) I find out he is dating a guy who went blind while they were together, now resents said guy and is sleeping with people behind his back. He also has several online dating ads asking for guys between 16 and 18... when he is now in his mid 30's! CREEPY AND CRAZY!!!
Wow, the pendulum of craziness has suddenly swung back toward the Y chromosome. That is insane!
Yeah, wenchkiller, I thought a good story about a crazy guy was missing. I mean, he was fucking nuts. Still is from what I found out about him recently. I'm very glad that I got rid though. I feel very sorry for the guy he's with now!!! But Alyce's ex comes pretty high in the crazy guy stakes too! I honestly don't know how you put up with someone like that (well, I know, love makes you pretty blind at times), but I'm pleased you're rid of him now. You'll find someone so much better, who'll appreciate who you are and what you do.
oddment on
PSN Sig Hidden Within!*
*Thanks Thanatos!
0
Options
GonmunHe keeps kickin' me inthe dickRegistered Userregular
Thus the Crazy Girlfriend/boyfriend thread spawned Alyce's stuffed ninja/penguin emporium.
She totally should. I know I'd totally consider buying a good stuffed ninja. I like ninjas and my g/f likes stuffed animals... And I'm thinking I'm not the only one. Make a website and ship worldwide, and you got yourself a business.
Richy on
0
Options
JeanHeartbroken papa bearGatineau, QuébecRegistered Userregular
edited August 2009
Here's a jealous guy story I was very recently was the witness of
4 people involved : Me, my good (male) friend K...... and let's call the couple Mr. and Ms. Smith for simplicity's sake
For reference, I have been friends with K for 10 years now. I had met Mr Smith a few times before, and it actually was my first time meeting Ms. I have no romatinc interest whatsoever in her. I'm fairly sure K feels the same, tough I'm not in his head so I cant say for sure its 100% true. I dont know exactly how long the Smith have been seeing each other, but its serious enough than they stay in the same appartment.
Their appartment is actually right across the street from the bar we were drinking at.
Anyways...
I'm in that bar, chatting with the customers over a few drinks. K see my car in the parking lot and comes in to talk to me. Shortly afterwards, Mr and Ms. Smith comes in, too. We all sit together.
We share a few drinks. We chat, tease each other, and laugh. All in all, a very pleasant evening until....
K : Hey Jean, wanna go play pool at that other bar after this drink?
Me : Sure, why not
K : What about you guys? * point towards Mr. and Ms. Smith*. Wanna tag along?
Mr . : Nah, I'll head home after this drink. I'm tired.
Ms : Ya sure, I'd like to come, I'll come with you 2.
And thats where shit hits the fan!
Mr : WHAT THE FUCK YOU SHOULD COME HOME WITH ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Ms : No, I dont feel like it
* Mr is fucking pissed off and he quits the bar without even finishing his drink*
* 2 minutes later, the phine rings*
Mr : Come home RIGHT FUCKING NOW or I'm dumping you!
Ms : What???? No I dont want to....
And then Mr, in a fit of rage, starts trowing off all her belongings from the balcony
Apparently it wasnt the first time he did such a thing.
I dont know how it ended tough... not wanting to be associated any longer with this drama, I bolted at the first opportunity.
Jean on
"You won't destroy us, You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. This evening and tonight, we'll take care of each other. That's what we do best when attacked'' - Jens Stoltenberg
Thus the Crazy Girlfriend/boyfriend thread spawned Alyce's stuffed ninja/penguin emporium.
She totally should. I know I'd totally consider buying a good stuffed ninja. I like ninjas and my g/f likes stuffed animals... And I'm thinking I'm not the only one. Make a website and ship worldwide, and you got yourself a business.
I'll absolutely do it. Who ever wants a ninja-penquin or anything, PM me with what you'd like, and your address.
I just need to get a proper sewing machine!
yep! Donations are always welcome , but I have no problem at all doing it for free. My life for the past couple of weeks has been pretty crazy, so this will give me a chance to relax and focus on something fun.
Alyce, what are your feelings on shipping ninja-penguins overseas? I would love some of that sewed goodness.
I'd absolutely do it! I was saving money to ship things over seas when my ex was deployed. Now I can use it to make other people happy with hand made awesome.
Edit: Also, if anyone wants to contact me VIA aim or MSN with the information, feel free.
Alyce, you are officially an awesome lady, and should receive some kind of honor! Do you make these kinds of things a lot? Do you have any pictures of your creations?
I've made a bunch of these things, but I've never thought to take any pictures. Unfortunately a lot of them were destroyed in the housefire I had a couple weeks ago. But I'm pretty well versed in making interesting things, so the quality should be good :P
Alyce, you are officially an awesome lady, and should receive some kind of honor! Do you make these kinds of things a lot? Do you have any pictures of your creations?
I think a "crap I've made for awesome" thread would do well for these creations. I'm sure lots of people make cool stuff, personally when I'm sitting at a bar I'll make little people from match-sticks and pose them standing on the bar in dancing poses or holding hands. Not thread worthy, but if they were somehow ninja, then yes.
I knew a girl who did a bunch of heroin and opened her wrists in her boyfriends yard once. I think she was crazy but the story is just depressing.
Thus the Crazy Girlfriend/boyfriend thread spawned Alyce's stuffed ninja/penguin emporium.
She totally should. I know I'd totally consider buying a good stuffed ninja. I like ninjas and my g/f likes stuffed animals... And I'm thinking I'm not the only one. Make a website and ship worldwide, and you got yourself a business.
I'll absolutely do it. Who ever wants a ninja-penquin or anything, PM me with what you'd like, and your address.
I just need to get a proper sewing machine!
I'm not known for making excellent decisions but I mean free anal and a movie seems like a good deal to me.
Till she disembowels you in your sleep.
Your fatal mistake was sleeping.
420, anal erryday?
Also, I'd feel like I was taking advantage of Alyce if I was like, "Yo Alyce, I know your life is bad right now, so you should send me an adorable ninja penguin thingy for free."
I dated a pathological liar. I eventually found out that pretty much all the basic facts about her life as I knew them were false. It took a while, because the stuff she would lie about was stuff you don't normally question, and it was really hard to check facts, and some of it was true. I still have no idea what sort of person she actually was, it's sort of bizarre.
My sister dated one of these her junior year of high school. He told her his family was British and that he was born in London and moved to Utah when he was three and that he was a dancer (my sister danced) and that he was an active Mormon with the kind of aspirations young Mormon lads have (my family's Mormon, me not so much).
Turns out it was all a lie to get her wrapped around his finger. Who the hell lies about being British? They ended up going to prom, broke up, and he returned the prom pictures with his face cut out of all of them save one. I got an desperate call from her one night because she swore she saw him in my parents' yard one night they were away, and last I heard, he's forcing his new girlfriend into S&M.
Interesting fellow. If I were a violent man, he'd be a dead interesting fellow.
Anyway, my crazy story. Had a girlfriend in high school, and she was already all sorts of odd. We had a 2-month whirlwind relationship and she was convinced she was in love with me. Fast forward 5 years, she's married, quarter million in the hole, and convinced she's still in love with me. I told her no over dinner once, but that didn't stop her from coming to my house every day and sending me love notes and the like. She also stepped in dog poo and got it all over my house. Crazy bitch.
I'm not known for making excellent decisions but I mean free anal and a movie seems like a good deal to me.
Till she disembowels you in your sleep.
Your fatal mistake was sleeping.
420, anal erryday?
Also, I'd feel like I was taking advantage of Alyce if I was like, "Yo Alyce, I know your life is bad right now, so you should send me an adorable ninja penguin thingy for free."
I'd also like some photos of said thingies
I intend to pay her. Lord knows the poor girl has enough problems what with lacking porn star tits and giving gifts to people she's dating.
King Riptor on
I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
Posts
Well clearly the lack of sex was due to your lack of Porn Star tits.
I imagine this guy had a mullet. Please tell me this is the case it will add to the humor.
Damn my non-pornstar tits. Damn them to hell.
Speaking of hell, I wasn't 'allowed' to day any sort of curse. Not even 'damn' or 'hell'. or else he'd get furious and like... smack my arm or something ridiculous.
There was no "lets go see hellboy"... he would avoid those words so much it would be "Lets go see that movie with that red guy" "hellboy?" "WHAAAT ARRAGGLBLAGHL"
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
Pornstar tits are fine...for pornstars I guess. But there's a reason for them and it involves $$$. Otherwise, I'm happy with whatever god gave folks.
Now you can sit down and enjoy some George Carlin and watch with the volume up really loud.
i read the thread in H/A too, and i admit to being incredibly confused about this. Since you guys had sex, however rarely, it couldn't be because he was religious, so what possible objection could he have to swearing?
good job dumping him though, he sounds like a raging ass.
on topic, I seemed to attract the crazy girls throughout middle and high-school. However, I was lucky enough to avoid long-term relationships with them, and therefore have nothing to contribute to this thread :?
"Hey Alyce"
"Hello"
*SLAP*
?
I guess the good times must have been pretty good, huh? You obviously can't chalk up staying with him to the mind-blowing sex. :P
That's . . . odd.
No mullet? Oh well. I guess I'll picture him as the Chet from Weird Science then.
(this is a long'un)
She walked into the Game store where I worked and I went over to do my salesperson spiel ("What is it you're looking for? Who are you buying for? WHY NOT GET A PS3?!") she said she just came in to see if there were any hot guys working here but she supposes not (ego = bruised) and I say "well, you'll probably like Andy, he's your typical pretty boy but he's not working today"
She tells me that she's going to be working in the Game store in the shopping centre at the other end of the street our store is on and heads off.
There's nothing for a couple of weeks and then we get a call in saying that a couple of folk from their store have called in sick and could we send someone along to help out. Our manager sends along Andy.
As we're shutting up shop my mate and I get an SMS from Andy which reads "Emma just dropped her number into my pocket as I left..."
My friend replies "Call her. Do her."
And he does. ("Hey this is Andy, how's it going?" "Pretty good, just lying here naked touching myself while I think about you")
They get together a couple of times. Literally just for sex. She comes round, they fuck, she leaves. Ideal siuation for them both apparently. Then she starts to text him and call him more and more often. She comes into work to see him. We're all getting a kick out of this, Andy decides to break it off sooner rather than later. Good choice, well done Andy.
But she doesn't consider it to be over. The texts and calls continue, he would get roughly 70-100 a day from this girl while he never replied to a single one. Eventually he finally sends her a text reading "Emma, stop it. I've told you I'm not interested." and she stops...for about an hour.
He said that on a couple of occasions, she had called him at about 6am and had the following conversation.
"What you doin'?"
"I was sleeping"
"Can I come round?"
"No, I'm going back to bed"
"Don't worry I'll just lie down naked next to you, you won't even know I'm there"
"Bye, Emma" *click*
Then she tries to get to him through me...
Eventually she stops with Andy and after about a month I get a MSN add request. It's her. We're chatting, I ask what's up? she says "I'm over Andy"
"Oh, great!"
"But I can't stop thinking about you"
"...Riiiight..."
"Do you want to go to the cinema or something?"
(I decide I can play this off nicely) "To see what?"
"Doesn't matter, I just want to fuck you in the cinema"
(BALLS!) "Emmm I'm going to be busy this week. Maybe next week but no promises"
"I'll let you do me anal"
"Gotta go!"
Then she sends me an email telling me she's not over Andy, she barely stops thinking about him. Then proceeds to go off on a crazy rant about how he's such a dick and how he left her stranded outside of town in the rain after he made her bleed "because he was too big for her" (inverted commas because I don't know if that claim has any basis)
This rant is well over 5 paragraphs of hatred. I've just finished readng it and I'm trying to work out what the hell is going on when I notice there's a follow-up email which reads, and i quote
"Lovely penis though. Nice curve to it."
Now, I nearly wet myself laughing at that sudden change of character. As did all of my work colleagues, including Andy. It's now a running joke with us that when you get really annoyed at anybody for anything you follow it up with "Lovely penis though!"
Edit: She's still crazy and still after him
He wasn't religious at all. I think it was because he thought it was crude, or rude, or impolite. This is coming from a guy who, i think... said 'thank you' to me once the whole time we were dating.
Also, when something was bothering him, he REFUSED to tell me what it was. He wouldn't talk, he would speak, sometimes he'd cry when he thought I wasn't looking or something. No matter how many times I've asked him to speak what was on his mind, he wouldn't, and he'd get REALLy mad for my concern.
Another thing was if I bought or made anything for him, he'd yell at me. He went away for a military thing for a while, and I decided to sew him a little stuffed penguin, and a tiny ninja. I thought it was cute, and nice, so I gave them to him, and he was furious. He yelled at me because I "knew he didn't like receiving gifts" and how I apparently don't listen ever.
I'm so glad I'm done with him. SO GLAD
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
Guy - Has, since I known him to be Oblivious to everything, or how anything he says can be interpereted badly/ doesn't know when to stop digging, so problems are rife just with him in any relationship. Enter the hyper sensitive girlfriend.
I'm an idiot for living with them for a year anyway, as they fought - she yelled and he'd look confused over such gems as:
"you didn't react quickly enough when I [*told one of those stories taht everyone does occasionally, where the answer of 'no you are wonderful darling' is red flagged as a response but he doesn't get it* ]don't you love me?]
When they were dating I used to help him out, and prod because he just doesn't get subtext - But after a while he would know when a response was expected but not what and would start jokingly saying 'help me Lacroix!' which obviously not the right response for her, so I started staying completely out of it after that because needing roomie to give 'what to say platitudes' as a crutch isn't good.
"You didn't move everything you own from your parents' house into the flat? (meaning old childhood toys/videos/games that guy hadn't moved) - How am I supposed to take that - You're home is supposed to be with me, and you are giving your self a safety net to go and run home if things don't work out - not committed etc."
(Bear in mind their home was also with me in a shared flat, and that she hadn't consulted me before moving everything she owned in, so was surprised to move into an already full living room - but that is beside the point of this story)
Addendum: After moving all the VHS tapes he had stored at home she had intended to throw them away ('I mean how many of these do you watch? We don't have a VCR here...)
Mercifully she relented to that I think. They never arrived while I was there, I dunno about if his family home is empty of stuff now they live together...
No sex until marriage - and she admitted to picking a fight with him on her honeymoon to avoid having sex rather than y'know... talking about it like grown ups.
These are just snippets but i'll tl;dr - Lived with a crazy couple and wanted to kill them for constant public fights... but apparently they are compatibly crazy and are married... and though they still fight whenever I see them... she seems to flip from rage to 'loooove' in a heartbeat - more power to them if they are happily crazy say I (for those of you who read the H/A thread, I would not have been able to say this easily when I lived with them... and still don't want to spend protracted amounts of time with them together, as fights start (one in a barmeal place we went to today - I just stared at my food and hoped people weren't staring) but if they are happy, thats all that matters.
Honestly, a girl who gives daily blowjobs and sews tiny stuffed ninjas? Your standards should be pretty fucking high. :P
PSN: SAW776
I'm not known for making excellent decisions but I mean free anal and a movie seems like a good deal to me.
This should probably be in a signature.
Not mine though.
He had to be insane. A girl sews him a NINJA and he says he doesn't like gifts?
I mean putting aside the fact that only some sort of miser hermit hates gifts who passes up a ninja? The ultimate symbol of love?
Can I get a vote on that? There's no way she could say no to the power of Democracy! :P
PSN: SAW776
Yeah, wenchkiller, I thought a good story about a crazy guy was missing. I mean, he was fucking nuts. Still is from what I found out about him recently. I'm very glad that I got rid though. I feel very sorry for the guy he's with now!!! But Alyce's ex comes pretty high in the crazy guy stakes too! I honestly don't know how you put up with someone like that (well, I know, love makes you pretty blind at times), but I'm pleased you're rid of him now. You'll find someone so much better, who'll appreciate who you are and what you do.
*Thanks Thanatos!
But you can't mass produce ninja's sewn with loooove. At least not quickly anyway. :P
Alright, no ninja for you then! See, we dropped production requirements already. :P
PSN: SAW776
Thus the Crazy Girlfriend/boyfriend thread spawned Alyce's stuffed ninja/penguin emporium.
Do you think she would make a stuffed ninja penguin? I can see that being pretty cool...
*Thanks Thanatos!
Fixed.
Edit: Beat'd like a non-ninja penguin!
PSN: SAW776
Haha. Alyce, you should totally make these! It could be D&D's version of LewieP's Mum's paintings.
*Thanks Thanatos!
4 people involved : Me, my good (male) friend K...... and let's call the couple Mr. and Ms. Smith for simplicity's sake
For reference, I have been friends with K for 10 years now. I had met Mr Smith a few times before, and it actually was my first time meeting Ms. I have no romatinc interest whatsoever in her. I'm fairly sure K feels the same, tough I'm not in his head so I cant say for sure its 100% true. I dont know exactly how long the Smith have been seeing each other, but its serious enough than they stay in the same appartment.
Their appartment is actually right across the street from the bar we were drinking at.
Anyways...
I'm in that bar, chatting with the customers over a few drinks. K see my car in the parking lot and comes in to talk to me. Shortly afterwards, Mr and Ms. Smith comes in, too. We all sit together.
We share a few drinks. We chat, tease each other, and laugh. All in all, a very pleasant evening until....
K : Hey Jean, wanna go play pool at that other bar after this drink?
Me : Sure, why not
K : What about you guys? * point towards Mr. and Ms. Smith*. Wanna tag along?
Mr . : Nah, I'll head home after this drink. I'm tired.
Ms : Ya sure, I'd like to come, I'll come with you 2.
And thats where shit hits the fan!
Mr : WHAT THE FUCK YOU SHOULD COME HOME WITH ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Ms : No, I dont feel like it
* Mr is fucking pissed off and he quits the bar without even finishing his drink*
* 2 minutes later, the phine rings*
Mr : Come home RIGHT FUCKING NOW or I'm dumping you!
Ms : What???? No I dont want to....
And then Mr, in a fit of rage, starts trowing off all her belongings from the balcony
Apparently it wasnt the first time he did such a thing.
I dont know how it ended tough... not wanting to be associated any longer with this drama, I bolted at the first opportunity.
I'll absolutely do it. Who ever wants a ninja-penquin or anything, PM me with what you'd like, and your address.
I just need to get a proper sewing machine!
Hell, I'll do it for free.
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
Yeah? And I'd also draw him up silly little doodles on a daily basis. He never really laughed or appreciated them.
Example of said doodle:
Sigh.
yep! Donations are always welcome
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
Till she disembowels you in your sleep.
XBL : lJesse Custerl | MWO: Jesse Custer | Best vid ever. | 2nd best vid ever.
I'd absolutely do it! I was saving money to ship things over seas when my ex was deployed. Now I can use it to make other people happy with hand made awesome.
Edit: Also, if anyone wants to contact me VIA aim or MSN with the information, feel free.
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
*Thanks Thanatos!
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
I think a "crap I've made for awesome" thread would do well for these creations. I'm sure lots of people make cool stuff, personally when I'm sitting at a bar I'll make little people from match-sticks and pose them standing on the bar in dancing poses or holding hands. Not thread worthy, but if they were somehow ninja, then yes.
I knew a girl who did a bunch of heroin and opened her wrists in her boyfriends yard once. I think she was crazy but the story is just depressing.
Coolness. Expect a PM shortly.
Your fatal mistake was sleeping.
420, anal erryday?
Also, I'd feel like I was taking advantage of Alyce if I was like, "Yo Alyce, I know your life is bad right now, so you should send me an adorable ninja penguin thingy for free."
3DS Friend Code: 2165-6448-8348 www.Twitch.TV/cooljammer00
Battle.Net: JohnDarc#1203 Origin/UPlay: CoolJammer00
My sister dated one of these her junior year of high school. He told her his family was British and that he was born in London and moved to Utah when he was three and that he was a dancer (my sister danced) and that he was an active Mormon with the kind of aspirations young Mormon lads have (my family's Mormon, me not so much).
Turns out it was all a lie to get her wrapped around his finger. Who the hell lies about being British? They ended up going to prom, broke up, and he returned the prom pictures with his face cut out of all of them save one. I got an desperate call from her one night because she swore she saw him in my parents' yard one night they were away, and last I heard, he's forcing his new girlfriend into S&M.
Interesting fellow. If I were a violent man, he'd be a dead interesting fellow.
Anyway, my crazy story. Had a girlfriend in high school, and she was already all sorts of odd. We had a 2-month whirlwind relationship and she was convinced she was in love with me. Fast forward 5 years, she's married, quarter million in the hole, and convinced she's still in love with me. I told her no over dinner once, but that didn't stop her from coming to my house every day and sending me love notes and the like. She also stepped in dog poo and got it all over my house. Crazy bitch.
http://www.suboptimist.com
Handmade Jewelry by me on EtsyGames for sale
Me on Twitch!
I intend to pay her. Lord knows the poor girl has enough problems what with lacking porn star tits and giving gifts to people she's dating.