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Crazy Girlfriend/Boyfriend Stories

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Posts

  • AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Richy wrote: »
    Well, i just found out that he's staying on his sisters couch and using an unopened bag of doritos as a pillow.

    Justice hath been served. (or at least my idea of justice. Anyway, it's pretty funny)
    :lol: Wait till I tell my girlfriend about this (I told her about your story, her heart goes out to you).

    So what happened with his 16 year old love?

    Haha, I have no idea. All I know is that his sister still talks to me (and considers me a part of the family despite what happened), and she said that if she finds out that he actually did start dating that 16 year old, his ass will be out of her house.
    Such a cool family. I duno what the hell happened to him!

    Shawnasee- What. the fuucck.

    AlyceInWonderland on
  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Christmas-Man!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Maybe it's like in Punch Drunk Love, where the guy is henpecked by all the women in his life, and then they ask "What the hell is wrong with you?" when he snaps.

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  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Richy wrote: »
    Well, i just found out that he's staying on his sisters couch and using an unopened bag of doritos as a pillow.

    Justice hath been served. (or at least my idea of justice. Anyway, it's pretty funny)
    :lol: Wait till I tell my girlfriend about this (I told her about your story, her heart goes out to you).

    So what happened with his 16 year old love?

    Haha, I have no idea. All I know is that his sister still talks to me (and considers me a part of the family despite what happened), and she said that if she finds out that he actually did start dating that 16 year old, his ass will be out of her house.
    Such a cool family. I duno what the hell happened to him!

    Twice a year for no god damned reason his family gave him gifts. They even put up decorations and a tree sometimes!

    King Riptor on
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  • UmaroUmaro Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    On the topic on junk sniffing, my first girlfriend was all over that shit. She'd bury her head in there and come up looking happy as can be. Apparently she "loved my smell". I... didn't know how to take that. At all.

    Umaro on
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  • ShawnaseeShawnasee Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Shawnasee wrote: »

    I'm somewhat less sympathetic because you apparently chose her based almost solely on driving distance. Still that's some Napolean hat level crazy right there.

    I chose to get laid based almost solely on driving distance.

    Show meh mah sympathay!

    Shawnasee on
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Umaro wrote: »
    On the topic on junk sniffing, my first girlfriend was all over that shit. She'd bury her head in there and come up looking happy as can be. Apparently she "loved my smell". I... didn't know how to take that. At all.

    My first thought would be "Shit shit shit, do I have to say that I love her smell, and take in huge whiffs?"

    Septus on
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  • NorfairNorfair Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Using a Dorito bag as a pillow? AHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's hilarious.

    Junk sniffing, on the other hand... that's kind of unappealing, to say the least.

    Norfair on
  • joshua1joshua1 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I see nothing wrong with the sniffing. A healthy person shouldn't smell bad, and let me tell you, there is a certain smell that women (and sometimes men) give off that is absolutely amazing. And im not being dirty here. Certainly all of you men have smelt a woman as she walked past, and found your self completely attracted to their smell in a way that has nothing to do with perfume. Pheromones or somesuch.

    Man, i hope someone agrees with me here.

    joshua1 on
  • NorfairNorfair Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I used to work in stockroom and warehouse jobs many years ago, and, well, it doesn't matter how healthy you are--when you've been doing physical labor all day (at one point I was doing 12-hour shifts), after a certain point, everybody starts to smell. And that smell is disgusting to me. It was especially bad because at least half the guys I've worked with didn't have the decency to bathe more than once a week or so (I shower every day because I value my personal hygeine).

    It's just that after having to smell other people (mostly men) in close quarters for hours at a time, I find the idea of wanting to sniff junk to be a bit gross.

    Norfair on
  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Christmas-Man!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    No idea. Not only do we have to deal with this scent in a can culture of today, but I wouldn't know what pheremones smelled like anyway.

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  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Christmas-Man!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I also read someplace that male body sweat can help regulate periods in women.

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  • joshua1joshua1 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Just for reference. I wasn't explicitly advocating the sniffing of junk. The smells are only somewhat tangently related.

    joshua1 on
  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    No idea. Not only do we have to deal with this scent in a can culture of today, but I wouldn't know what pheremones smelled like anyway.

    Pheromones don't have a smell. They're simply an airborne chemical that causes a reaction in your brain chemistry. You do tend to associate them with smells over time though.

    King Riptor on
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  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Christmas-Man!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    No idea. Not only do we have to deal with this scent in a can culture of today, but I wouldn't know what pheremones smelled like anyway.

    Pheromones don't have a smell. They're simply an airborne chemical that causes a reaction in your brain chemistry. You do tend to associate them with smells over time though.

    When a girl lets me close enough to her to smell her, I'll get back to you on my findings.

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  • joshua1joshua1 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    But you don't have to be close to them. Man, I have almost fallen head over heels for girls that walk past in bars.

    I'm just glad that my gf understands.

    The creepiest part is that it's most likely that the lady is ovulating.

    Which makes it weird that men sometimes smell the same way.

    joshua1 on
  • UmaroUmaro Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    The science behind human pheromones is extremely incomplete and only, so far, has hinted at a pretty limited influence. Most of what you hear about human pheromones, and products claiming to incorporate them, is utter bullshit.

    Umaro on
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  • NocrenNocren Lt Futz, Back in Action North CarolinaRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    You mean that Panther Musk I got from a Penthouse ad back in '92 doesn't work?

    Nocren on
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  • joshua1joshua1 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I'm definatly not advocating those sort of products.

    But it is interesting.

    Like the "convent" effect where women living in close proximity to each other eventually end up having their menstrual cycles in sync.

    The More You Know!

    joshua1 on
  • DracilDracil Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Supposedly you can tell a woman's cycle based on how they walk, and how attractive they find you.

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  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    Shawnasee wrote: »

    I'm somewhat less sympathetic because you apparently chose her based almost solely on driving distance. Still that's some Napolean hat level crazy right there.

    I chose to get laid based almost solely on driving distance.

    Show meh mah sympathay!

    There's one instance of her name that you missed.

    Falx on
  • ShawnaseeShawnasee Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Falx wrote: »
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    Shawnasee wrote: »

    I'm somewhat less sympathetic because you apparently chose her based almost solely on driving distance. Still that's some Napolean hat level crazy right there.

    I chose to get laid based almost solely on driving distance.

    Show meh mah sympathay!

    There's one instance of her name that you missed.

    I suck at the editing!

    Shawnasee on
  • TinuzTinuz Registered User
    edited August 2009
    Nocren wrote: »
    You mean that Panther Musk I got from a Penthouse ad back in '92 doesn't work?

    No, that's pig pheromones ....congrats! You're going to be raped by wild boars.

    Tinuz on
  • NocrenNocren Lt Futz, Back in Action North CarolinaRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Well, it'll be an interesting story to tell at a bar someday.

    Nocren on
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  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    joshua1 wrote: »
    But you don't have to be close to them. Man, I have almost fallen head over heels for girls that walk past in bars.

    I'm just glad that my gf understands.

    The creepiest part is that it's most likely that the lady is ovulating.

    Which makes it weird that men sometimes smell the same way.

    I think I've had that happen to me once. I literally stopped walking in the middle of a busy sidewalk, all confused about what was going on.

    I totally quoted the wrong post there.

    Malkor on
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  • MaverikkMaverikk Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Shawnasee wrote: »
    After we split, she called my First Sergeant and told him I had responsibilities (two dogs) and that I needed to drive half way to London twice a month so that she could see them and he fucking agreed?!
    So every other weekend I had to drive half way to London to drop off the two dogs to her and then pick them back up. Like I had custody and she had visitation rights.

    I don't know what it is about First Sergeants, but they always seem to agree with the crazy Ex.

    Also, was this girl military, also? Because military/military would explain everything about why the marriage failed.

    Maverikk on
  • NocturneNocturne Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Malkor wrote: »
    joshua1 wrote: »
    But you don't have to be close to them. Man, I have almost fallen head over heels for girls that walk past in bars.

    I'm just glad that my gf understands.

    The creepiest part is that it's most likely that the lady is ovulating.

    Which makes it weird that men sometimes smell the same way.

    I think I've had that happen to me once. I literally stopped walking in the middle of a busy sidewalk, all confused about what was going on.

    I totally quoted the wrong post there.

    But it was hilariously confusing with the other one quoted.

    Nocturne on
  • Ed321Ed321 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Nocturne wrote: »
    Malkor wrote: »
    joshua1 wrote: »
    But you don't have to be close to them. Man, I have almost fallen head over heels for girls that walk past in bars.

    I'm just glad that my gf understands.

    The creepiest part is that it's most likely that the lady is ovulating.

    Which makes it weird that men sometimes smell the same way.

    I think I've had that happen to me once. I literally stopped walking in the middle of a busy sidewalk, all confused about what was going on.

    I totally quoted the wrong post there.

    But it was hilariously confusing with the other one quoted.

    I thought it made perfect sense at first :?

    Ed321 on
  • So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    joshua1 wrote: »
    I'm definatly not advocating those sort of products.

    But it is interesting.

    Like the "convent" effect where women living in close proximity to each other eventually end up having their menstrual cycles in sync.

    The More You Know!

    disputed, actually

    http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=do-women-who-live-together-menstruate-together

    So It Goes on
  • CentipeedCentipeed Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Reading this threads makes me wish that I dated more crazy girls, but then if I ever meet a crazy girl I just get turned off instantly. I need to allow more crazy into my life, simply for the stories.

    That being said, my crazy girl story doesn't involve dating, but hopefully it's crazy enough to pass requirements:

    In college (English college, not university), I was told that a certain girl liked me. I was kind of hung up on another girl at the time (I'm glad I learned to stop getting hung up on girls. It can fuck you up.), so I wanted a change of scenery.

    I decided to approach this girl that liked me, and get to know her. To find out if we gelled.

    I'm quite flirtatious, so I approached her and started being suave. Then the next day we spent our lunch period together, just talking. As I said, I wanted to find out if she was the girl for me, since she was relatively attractive, but I didn't know her personality at all.

    I spend the few days after that lunch period realising that we didn't gel in the slightest.

    However, because I had asked to spend this time with her, and was being flirtatious, and talking to her on MSN, she started to believe that I liked her. I didn't.

    I met up with her, and told her that I wasn't looking to get into a relationship with her. She kept on repeating variations on the sentence "Maybe we should just try it and see how it goes." So I kept on firmly but politely tell her that I wasn't interested.

    And then she says "OK, I understand that you don't want a relationship with me, but I will ask for a kiss." Who the fuck gives a girl a sympathy kiss when they're not interested.

    She carried on pining for me for the rest of the college year, and we would still talk on MSN because I didn't want her to know that I'd really prefer to avoid her. I was still being flirtatious on MSN, though, because I make flirty jokes to ALL of the girls I know. The thing is, it was usually just winking smileys, hinting at some hidden subtext, but she demanded that I stopped doing any of that stuff. She said she was still into me, and if I wasn't interested in her then I wasn't allowed to make jokes, or be flirty, or use a winky.

    On the final day of college, I saw her and told her that it was nice knowing her. We hugged, and then she handed me an envelope.

    I got home and opened it to find a 20 PAGE LETTER (Front and back.) that she had written to me. It was scented in her perfume, and the envelope was filled with little confetti hearts that got everywhere and turned up months later in random places.

    The letter seemed to be an entire chapter out of a book telling the reader how awesome they are (A kind of self-help, esteem boosting book), except that she had changed all of the relevant parts to refer to me instead of the reader. I couldn't even read all of it.

    I wish I had kept it so that I could read it all now.

    On a final note, why do so many girls assume you like them just because you're being nice to them? I mean, these are nice girls as well, so I can't imagine they're all being treated like shit all the time.

    Centipeed on
  • mythagomythago Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    joshua1 wrote: »
    But you don't have to be close to them. Man, I have almost fallen head over heels for girls that walk past in bars.

    I'm just glad that my gf understands.

    The creepiest part is that it's most likely that the lady is ovulating.

    Which makes it weird that men sometimes smell the same way.

    That's okay. It probably just means you're bisexual.

    mythago on
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  • ChopperDaveChopperDave Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Centipeed wrote: »
    On a final note, why do so many girls assume you like them just because you're being nice to them? I mean, these are nice girls as well, so I can't imagine they're all being treated like shit all the time.

    As a general rule, people tend to assume that flirtation is a sign of attraction/interest. Strange, I know.

    On a more serious note, I've known plenty of guys with such low self-esteem (my teenage self included) that they would fall in love with any pretty girl who displayed the slightest bit of friendly compassion for them. I would imagine that there are girls who are the same way. Some people just get treated like shit throughout high school/college, but I think they usually grow out of it.

    ChopperDave on
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  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Centipeed, you were totally being a pussy tease.

    RocketSauce on
  • CentipeedCentipeed Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Centipeed, you were totally being a pussy tease.

    Every other girl I know understands. Although perhaps that's because I'm not attractive enough to pussy-tease the majority of girls I know.

    Centipeed on
  • HeirHeir Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    See I always thought it was an unsaid rule that you don't flirt with a person who is into you unless you're into them. You're just making it worse.

    Heir on
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  • Ed321Ed321 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I was gonna say "he said he was just being nice, not flirting", until I actually read the whole post where he said he was flirting with them.

    Ed321 on
  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    As someone fairly clueless about flirting, I can sympathize. Most of the time I don't realize I'm flirting, I'm just having fun conversation with someone.

    RocketSauce on
  • ChopperDaveChopperDave Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Rereading that story, the girl seems less like a crazy person and more like a lonely teenager desperate enough to pursue an obvious pussytease.

    Honestly, the only nutty part of that whole story was the 20-page scented letter. But then, when I graduated I wrote a longwinded, lovesick letter to the girl I liked (and received one in turn—I had unknowlngly touched off a dramatastic orgy of crazy on her end, but that's a story for another day), so it's not THAT weird a thing for a teenager to do.

    ChopperDave on
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  • Ed321Ed321 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Rereading that story, the girl seems less like a crazy person and more like a lonely teenager desperate enough to pursue an obvious pussytease.

    Honestly, the only nutty part of that whole story was the 20-page scented letter. But then, when I graduated I wrote a longwinded, lovesick letter to the girl I liked (and received one in turn—I had unknowlngly touched off a dramatastic orgy of crazy on her end, but that's a story for another day), so it's not THAT weird a thing for a teenager to do.

    Heh, I wrote (typed? fingered?) an incredibly long text to my girlfriend when I was 17. It took me like three hours.

    Then I accidently deleted it.

    Although it was probably for the best. :P

    Ed321 on
  • OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    But then, when I graduated I wrote a longwinded, lovesick letter to the girl I liked (and received one in turn—I had unknowlngly touched off a dramatastic orgy of crazy on her end, but that's a story for this exact thread, so I'll get to typing that up right away), so it's not THAT weird a thing for a teenager to do.

    OptimusZed on
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  • WashWash Sweet Christmas Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I've only received one love note in my life and it was creepy as fuck. The girl drew a picture of herself with duct tape covering her mouth, and a single tear dropping from one eye, on the cover. The letter read like my opinion mattered to her more than that of anyone else, and she was willing to do anything I asked of her, and change in any way I wished so that I might like her. There was also something in there about my birthday.

    This was back in highschool when I never told anyone when my birthday was, so I'm still not sure how she found that out. She also had a habit of fucking people for their attention and acceptance. Of my close circle of friends, I was the only one who didn't date, or almost date her, or have feelings for her of any kind. I'm almost positive she just wanted to get the whole gang showering her with attention and affection, and because I knew it and knew how she was I never gave in, and that's why she wanted me.

    It was all pretty fucked up.

    Also, earlier that year she tried to cast a Wiccan spell on me or something that would make me like her. I didn't show up for school the next day and when she noticed she thought she'd accidentally killed me with magic.

    Wash on
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