It is time once again for the triumphant return of the Strange and Embarrassing Moments thread. I would normally never start one of these, but I recently received a story that I just had to tell. Unfortunately, this did not happen to me, but rather to my cousin. All names have been changed. I must warn you, this is quite long.
So my cousin, Kevin, is camping with two of his friends, Vince and Jeff, in the rustic woods of rural Georgia. Kevin and Vince are 17, Jeff is 19. Vince has liberated a copious amount of alcohol from his house, and everyone is drinking and having a good time. However, Vince is drinking quite a bit more than Kevin and Jeff. This seems harmless though, and the night continues.
Halfway through the night, everyone is afflicted with some sort of wanderlust, and they near the edge of the woods where they reach a parking lot. It is important to note that the fun continued on the way there, as everyone is carrying beer in their pockets and still drinking. Vince proclaims that he must pee, right now. Jeff shares the same desire. This leads to Kevin waiting near the woods while Jeff and Vince relieve themselves. Remember, Vince is incredibly wasted.
Jeff wanders off to some short distance and starts pissing. Vince sees a nearby car and for whatever reason that it would be perfect to piss on. So he wanders up to it, unzips and goes at it. Keep in mind that this is the middle of the night, and everyone was being relatively quiet. Everything seems fine as Vince relieves himself. Halfway through the act, red and blue sirens light up. On the car that Vince is pissing on.
The officer gets out and starts laying into Vince, screaming at him at the top of lungs to stop fucking pissing on his car. Vince sheepishly complies and smiles at the cop during the screaming. The cop begins to question him, and asks if he is drunk. Vince agrees, and offers him the bottle of beer in his hand, which the cop makes him pour out, much to his dismay.
As Kevin watches, the cop asks Vince if there's anyone else with him. Kevin is holding his breath at this point, and silently creeping back to the woods. He is literally six feet from the woods when he hears,
"Oh yeah sure, theres Jeff over there and uh... Kevin. Kevin? Where are you Kevin?" He frantically looks around at this point, then upon sighting him yells "Over there! Hi Kevin!" and points him out to the cop. Fuck, thinks Kevin, the woods are right there. He starts to creep back toward the woods when the cop shines a light on him, yelling that if he so much as fucking looks toward those goddamn woods he'll have a search party out on his ass. Kevin sighs and dejectedly starts walking toward the cop. Jeff is also rounded up, and they assemble in front of the vehicle. The cop asks if anyone else has alcohol on them, and Vince cheerily pipes in, informing the cop of all the alcohol in their pockets. This is of course, taken away as the cop realizes their ages.
To the car! Everyone is thrown into the back seat as the cop takes them to the station. Its a long drive, and halfway through Vince doesn't feel so good. How does he express this? He throws up violently, first on the cop, then ten minutes later on Kevin, and then ten minutes later on the floor of the car. Needless to say, the cop is pretty pissed as they finally get to the station. Now, this is where the story gets weird. Apparently, Kevin and Vince are so filthy from all the vomit on them that they must strip completely naked after entering the police station. Furthermore, the cop is so pissed at Vince for throwing up all over him that he forces him to clean his car right fucking then and there. Naked. Yeah. This took place in the 90's so I'm not sure how legal it was, but I'm pretty sure something should have been said of it.
How did everyone turn out? Vince and Kevin were both taken home by their parents, and put on restriction for quite a while. Jeff, not being a minor, is slapped with some sort of charge for supplying minors with alcohol. I'm not quite sure how that turned out for him.
So anyways, you all know how this works. Let the stories begin.