When I was a TA, I resisted the urge to poke one of my students in the back and ask them to loose the shirt with the insignia of an military force that killed by my grandparent's family with bombs (I'm Taiwanese).
Seriously? That would be like poking a Red Wings fan in the back and asking them to take off their Red Wings jersey... in Detroit.
EDIT: Go Red Wings.
underdonk on
Back in the day, bucko, we just had an A and a B button... and we liked it.
He's about to continue chewing this poor youngster, who by now is completely terrified, out when he looks down at the requisition sheets and just...stops. He looks back up, squints, looks back down at the sheet, takes a step back and in a very low, small voice goes, "Angela. Your name is Angela." "Yes, sir." "...I am so sorry. Words cannot...I'm sorry." "It's alright, sir, I'm often mistaken for a man."
I know it's off-topic, but how does it not surprise me that someone who spends all day yelling at men is terrified of women? If he had grunted and said "My mistake, your hair is within regulation.", I would have a great deal more respect for him.
How the flying fuck did you get "Terrified of women" from "Embarrassed that he was just referring to someone as the wrong gender"?
When I was a TA, I resisted the urge to poke one of my students in the back and ask them to loose the shirt with the insignia of an military force that killed by my grandparent's family with bombs (I'm Taiwanese).
Seriously? That would be like poking a Red Wings fan in the back and asking them to take off their Red Wings jersey... in Detroit.
EDIT: Go Red Wings.
So.....it's...the Red Wings you're a fan of? Oh, you wacky sports guys and your...sports...events.
Like I said, I resisted. I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to think, "Oh, that's right, that's what those bombs were for again, not so women in 1940s swimsuits could grind up against them" though. I probably could have done it too, at the risk of seeming like a total dick. TA's are given a lot of leeway anyway at my school. I could have not bothered showing up if I wanted to. :P
He's about to continue chewing this poor youngster, who by now is completely terrified, out when he looks down at the requisition sheets and just...stops. He looks back up, squints, looks back down at the sheet, takes a step back and in a very low, small voice goes, "Angela. Your name is Angela." "Yes, sir." "...I am so sorry. Words cannot...I'm sorry." "It's alright, sir, I'm often mistaken for a man."
I know it's off-topic, but how does it not surprise me that someone who spends all day yelling at men is terrified of women? If he had grunted and said "My mistake, your hair is within regulation.", I would have a great deal more respect for him.
We mad a semi-manly chick in my unit when I was still in. She was never confused as a man and thus not subjected to that hair policy, but she did get a good talking to about shaving when it got that bad. Seriously.
Like I said, I resisted. I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to think, "Oh, that's right, that's what those bombs were for again, not so women in 1950s swimsuits could grind up against them" though.
You've been reported to DHS, traitor.
underdonk on
Back in the day, bucko, we just had an A and a B button... and we liked it.
Like I said, I resisted. I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to think, "Oh, that's right, that's what those bombs were for again, not so women in 1950s swimsuits could grind up against them" though.
You've been reported to DHS, traitor.
Hah, like I haven't heard that before, I....oh god, they're coming through the windows!
In all seriousness, there's a bit of hypocrisy here, I'll admit, since I was an mobilized for 14 months in the ROCA, but in my defense, that was against my will, and we're a bunch of losers anyway. I'm sure there's some nasty, horribly offensive criminal shit in that military history too, though. Plus, I still have shirts from them too, I think.
He's about to continue chewing this poor youngster, who by now is completely terrified, out when he looks down at the requisition sheets and just...stops. He looks back up, squints, looks back down at the sheet, takes a step back and in a very low, small voice goes, "Angela. Your name is Angela." "Yes, sir." "...I am so sorry. Words cannot...I'm sorry." "It's alright, sir, I'm often mistaken for a man."
I know it's off-topic, but how does it not surprise me that someone who spends all day yelling at men is terrified of women? If he had grunted and said "My mistake, your hair is within regulation.", I would have a great deal more respect for him.
How the flying fuck did you get "Terrified of women" from "Embarrassed that he was just referring to someone as the wrong gender"?
I'm actually a little bit curious about that myself. Frankly, I chalk it the mistaken gender up to the fact that we had a massive influx of new people and he was a bit haggard. He's one of the nicest NCO's I've ever had the privilege of serving under, and he's not scared of women.
He's about to continue chewing this poor youngster, who by now is completely terrified, out when he looks down at the requisition sheets and just...stops. He looks back up, squints, looks back down at the sheet, takes a step back and in a very low, small voice goes, "Angela. Your name is Angela." "Yes, sir." "...I am so sorry. Words cannot...I'm sorry." "It's alright, sir, I'm often mistaken for a man."
I know it's off-topic, but how does it not surprise me that someone who spends all day yelling at men is terrified of women? If he had grunted and said "My mistake, your hair is within regulation.", I would have a great deal more respect for him.
How the flying fuck did you get "Terrified of women" from "Embarrassed that he was just referring to someone as the wrong gender"?
I'm actually a little bit curious about that myself. Frankly, I chalk it the mistaken gender up to the fact that we had a massive influx of new people and he was a bit haggard. He's one of the nicest NCO's I've ever had the privilege of serving under, and he's not scared of women.
Maybe I was hasty. I guess it seems to me that (given your story, anyway), part of his job is to "dress down" the men/women underneath him. Presumably, he occasionally makes mistakes while doing his job. That particular mistake would be embarrassing for anyone, but a simple and straightforward apology seems more appropriate to me than (what I interpreted as) a sudden and immediate change in attitude.
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Are you a Software Engineer living in Seattle? HBO is hiring, message me.
I went back and forth on posting this, thinking, "fuck that is way too embarrassing". But, well, duh.
So, this happened last year at work. Pretty much I had been chatting with this group of guys, and had to excuse myself to go do my little number on stage. Afterward, feeling rather exhausted and worn out, I returned to their table.
When I got there, I flopped dramatically into a chair and said VERY loudly to the three of them, "MAN am I tired, and fuck I LOVE sitting. If I could just SIT FOREVER, god, that would be the BEST THING EVER!"
At this point I'm grinning, and I see the guys have all gone silent. Confused, I notice one of them staring at me particularly hard, so I turn to him with expectation, assuming maybe he has something to say.
Here is where I notice the fellow is not sitting in a chair, no, he's bound in tight to a rather obvious wheelchair.
I excused myself and made a hasty retreat.
Wow, this is one of those once in a life-time fuckups
I felt horrible. Honestly. I found out later that the guy had apparently become crippled when he jumped headfirst into a pool, and smashed into the cement bottom...
He's about to continue chewing this poor youngster, who by now is completely terrified, out when he looks down at the requisition sheets and just...stops. He looks back up, squints, looks back down at the sheet, takes a step back and in a very low, small voice goes, "Angela. Your name is Angela." "Yes, sir." "...I am so sorry. Words cannot...I'm sorry." "It's alright, sir, I'm often mistaken for a man."
I know it's off-topic, but how does it not surprise me that someone who spends all day yelling at men is terrified of women? If he had grunted and said "My mistake, your hair is within regulation.", I would have a great deal more respect for him.
How the flying fuck did you get "Terrified of women" from "Embarrassed that he was just referring to someone as the wrong gender"?
I'm actually a little bit curious about that myself. Frankly, I chalk it the mistaken gender up to the fact that we had a massive influx of new people and he was a bit haggard. He's one of the nicest NCO's I've ever had the privilege of serving under, and he's not scared of women.
Maybe I was hasty. I guess it seems to me that (given your story, anyway), part of his job is to "dress down" the men/women underneath him. Presumably, he occasionally makes mistakes while doing his job. That particular mistake would be embarrassing for anyone, but a simple and straightforward apology seems more appropriate to me than (what I interpreted as) a sudden and immediate change in attitude.
An understandable mistake, then. Actually, he just is very strict about enforcing 36-2903 (Dress and Appearance) because our new Chief and Commander both are cracking down on it. Like I said, I think this was more of a "finally the end of the day and oh dear god I do not need this right now" kind of thing.
More on topic, when I was ten I somehow managed to get my head stuck between the railings at a busy airport. So...yeah.
I felt horrible. Honestly. I found out later that the guy had apparently become crippled when he jumped headfirst into a pool, and smashed into the cement bottom...
Well, at least he never made that mistake again. Another lesson learned.
The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
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firewaterwordSatchitanandaPais Vasco to San FranciscoRegistered Userregular
edited August 2009
I've only had time to read the story in the OP - which was great - but let me just say it warms my calcified old heart to see this thread's (hopefully) triumphant return!
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Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu
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Olivawgood name, isn't it?the foot of mt fujiRegistered Userregular
I felt horrible. Honestly. I found out later that the guy had apparently become crippled when he jumped headfirst into a pool, and smashed into the cement bottom...
Well if he obeyed the no diving rule he wouldn't be in that position
So I'm standing at a downtown ATM, getting some money, when a crazy-looking homeless guy wanders up and says "I want that machine to ejaculate money at me."
Thank god I was pretty much done with my transaction.
He's about to continue chewing this poor youngster, who by now is completely terrified, out when he looks down at the requisition sheets and just...stops. He looks back up, squints, looks back down at the sheet, takes a step back and in a very low, small voice goes, "Angela. Your name is Angela." "Yes, sir." "...I am so sorry. Words cannot...I'm sorry." "It's alright, sir, I'm often mistaken for a man."
I know it's off-topic, but how does it not surprise me that someone who spends all day yelling at men is terrified of women? If he had grunted and said "My mistake, your hair is within regulation.", I would have a great deal more respect for him.
How the flying fuck did you get "Terrified of women" from "Embarrassed that he was just referring to someone as the wrong gender"?
I'm actually a little bit curious about that myself. Frankly, I chalk it the mistaken gender up to the fact that we had a massive influx of new people and he was a bit haggard. He's one of the nicest NCO's I've ever had the privilege of serving under, and he's not scared of women.
Did anyone see the taped Ellen Degeneres routine where she answers questions at the end? This woman - and I hesitate to use the word 'butch' on account of unfortunate connotations, but, you know - stands up. She's got really short hair and she's wearing a shirt out of Al Borland's closet. Ellen, from the stage, goes, "Yes, sir?" Then realizes what she's done. It was fantastic.
I pooped myself while I was at a playground about 2 miles from my house once, after spending the last 15 minutes beating on the door to the bathroom begging to be let in. I think I was 9 at the time? I was wearing sweat pants at the time, and I remember shaking most of it out of my left pant leg on the tennis court before sprinting for home. The operative word here being most. What was left fell out when I got home, not having the foresight to take off my pants in the bathtub or something; nope, I took them off right where we kept all the shoes, and a turd fell in my shoe. I forgot about it and didn't remember until I had to leave for school monday, about 3 seconds after I put that shoe on.
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NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
I think she was offended by people making jokes about regimes that killed her people.
It's a touchy issue for some people. US Air Force shirts get popular every February/March thereabouts, because that's when the recruiting drives kick in on full force on campus (tables, booths, and of course, free shirts). On certain days, you'll get a third of students of either gender wearing them because, hey, who doesn't love a free shirt. And, while they don't give them out for free, you'll get people in USAF shirts with various second-world-war style pinup girl on them, usually straddling bombs, propellers, etc. When I was a TA, I resisted the urge to poke one of my students in the back and ask them to loose the shirt with the insignia of an military force that killed by my grandparent's family with bombs (I'm Taiwanese).
Mostly because I didn't keep nondescript shirts in my bag, among other things, so I couldn't give them another one. I'm pretty sure I took a few non-woman-on-bomb shirts and used them for various things (wearing them, cleaning my bike, etc.). That, and that was before I was born, so it's not really that comparable, in retrospect.
Embarrassing moment:
Me and my friends used to go to cons (conventions) very regularly, since we're in close proximity to Atlanta, we go to DragonCon quite regularly. Inevitably, people try to hook up (nothing wrong with that).
One time, a friend of mine was hitting it off with this girl, really pleasant individual, not bad looking at all, etc. So they decide to stay in contact after wards. Unfortunately, her cell number changed or was canceled, so he tried to look her up in an Duluth phonebook. Nothing.
Weird. I have a friend who works at the DDS (basically, Georgia's version of the DMV), so we figure we'll give that a try. I know this sounds like my friend (and by extension, me, his accomplice) were crazy stalkers, but we swear we weren't.
We give our DDS friend the name, and ask him to look up her driver's license. Nothing.
My friend kept trying other ways (not really my business, I barely knew her), and he updated me on her progress once.
Half-jokingly I pointed out, "You know, if she has no voter registration, no driver's license, and isn't in the phonebook....hah, what kind of person has zero records anywhere?"
And then we stopped laughing about it. The answer is: a minor.
My friend was a few years my senior, in his mid-twenties.
That was pretty embarrassing in retrospect--for him anyway. I thought it was hilarious later.
This was my roommate's and my biggest fear when we hit up a recent anime con (they had various Resident Evil voice actors there and all in all it was generally fun). Luckily the con recently changed venues to a really nice hotel complete with bar. Didn't have to worry about that this time.
I don't really have too many strange and embarrassing moments mainly because I just laugh it off and roll with whatever's going on.
Well, I do have a 3rd hand story though. Friend of a friend type dealy. So my friend (we'll call him Al) was stationed in Japan for a number of years before I met him in Guam. He told me a story about how one of his friends (we'll call him Steve) told him about this really awesome Japanese girl he hooked up with and now they've been dating for a few months and were sleeping together on a semi-regular basis. Steve treats Al and all their other buddies out for drinks and he invites his girlfriend to come along. Steve is beaming with pride about this hot chick he's sleeping with. For some reason she leaves the table and and Steve leans in "See guys? Isn't she awesome?" Al and all the other friends kinda look at each other and decide to give him the bad news. "Steve.... she's a dude." Much to Steve's horror and shock and disbelief, the girl confirmed the truth and was really a he.
This was not that long ago, maybe 3 or 4 weeks. My friends are in a band and they were filming a music video at some cottage up north. It was pretty professional, they spent thousands of dollars on getting a real film crew up there; the video will be on TV and shit. They invited a whole bunch of people up because one part of it was a party scene so they needed an actual party. Most people were drinking, but for the most part it was under control.
Well, except for me. I was the stereotypical drunk obnoxious guy. I had the genius idea of drinking beer as well as tequila straight out of the bottle, and jagermeister straight out of the bottle. I blacked out pretty hardcore; like 8 - 10 hours of the day.
Apparently; and I say that because I have no memory of the event, during the big "party scene" shoot I was walking right in front of the camera in the way of the shot. The director or a camera guy start yelling "PURPLE SHIRT! PURPLE SHIRT! GET HIM OFF THE PROPERTY!!!!" (I was wearing a purple shirt). Me, instead of responding logically (such as: "oh, me? sorry!" *moving out of the way, or better yet NOT HAVING CAUSED FUCKING PROBLEMS*) respond with this sort of thinking: "FUCK YOU DIEEE" and go over and start pushing a camera guy around.
What. The. Fuck.
It didn't turn out to be a big deal in the end cause im pretty good friends with the band, so they just got me away from the situation and said sorry to the camera guys, who they were paying anyways.
I was pretty nervous about the situation the next day though, because my last fleeting memories were of causing some kind of a disturbance but not sure exactly what.
Actually thats not the last thing I remember. The last thing I remember is some hot red head chick that was on "Naked News" getting topless.
OH and apparently I felt up and had some very :winky::winky: conversations with my one friends girl. No memory of that either.
That's like a Confucian riddle. To get fucked up drunk and do fun things and have no memories. Or not get drunk and still not have memories because nothing happens.
[Edit] Referring to the girl stuff, not the part on being an asshole to the camera crew that is.
It's not that big of a deal really, but I found it terribly embarassing at the time.
My wife and I were at this food store called the Grocery Outlet. They sell alot of oddball items and generally crappy food. But they're also really cheap. Like boxes of christmas themed cereal in june or something.
We'd shopped their alot back when we first got together and had come in more or less for nostalgia's sake.
I think. While we were looking through some frozen foods she complained that I wasn't interested in getting anything and said we used to shop here all the time. And then much louder than I'd intended I snapped back "Yeah when we were poor!". At which point I looked up to find another family across the aisle looking over at us for what felt like a long time before we just sort of shuffled off around the corner and then quickly out of the store. Usually my wife is the one to say things at just the wrong moment, but that was my turn.
It's not that big of a deal really, but I found it terribly embarassing at the time.
My wife and I were at this food store called the Grocery Outlet. They sell alot of oddball items and generally crappy food. But they're also really cheap. Like boxes of christmas themed cereal in june or something.
We'd shopped their alot back when we first got together and had come in more or less for nostalgia's sake.
I think. While we were looking through some frozen foods she complained that I wasn't interested in getting anything and said we used to shop here all the time. And then much louder than I'd intended I snapped back "Yeah when we were poor!". At which point I looked up to find another family across the aisle looking over at us for what felt like a long time before we just sort of shuffled off around the corner and then quickly out of the store. Usually my wife is the one to say things are just the wrong moment, but that was my turn.
Hey my fiancee works at a Grocery Outlet. That is neither strange nor embarrassing, merely annectodal. Is that a word? I don't care.
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Steam
3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
In which Sal will gladly knock down whatever you set up:
So I'm in this philosophy course, and we come to the new problem of induction. The prof, to kick off the discussion, asked the class if "anyone has encountered grue before."
To which I replied, "This one time, in the basement of a white house. It was dark and the grue ate me."
Cue a solid fifteen seconds of blank stares from everyone - everyone - in the room. People's heads turned towards me with exaggerated slowness.
"...Game called Zork? From Infocom back in the early 80s? Anybody?"
Still starin'.
The professor then moves on as if absolutely nothing had happened while I mutter "Fuckin' philistines," under my breath.
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NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
In which Sal will gladly knock down whatever you set up:
So I'm in this philosophy course, and we come to the new problem of induction. The prof, to kick off the discussion, asked the class if "anyone has encountered grue before."
To which I replied, "This one time, in the basement of a white house. It was dark and the grue ate me."
Cue a solid fifteen seconds of blank stares from everyone - everyone - in the room. People's heads turned towards me with exaggerated slowness.
"...Game called Zork? From Infocom back in the early 80s? Anybody?"
Still starin'.
The professor then moves on as if absolutely nothing had happened while I mutter "Fuckin' philistines," under my breath.
During my first year of college, I lived a dorm that had two close but not connected dorms, one containing girls and one containing guys. The girls living directly across from my dorm were generally rather trashy and fat, so I didn't really feel like taking the time to get to know them. One of my dorm mates, however, had been regularly "partying" with them and finally convinced me to tenuously come along for an evening of underage drinking. The girls ask what type of beer we want, and head off to try and convince a homeless man to buy for them. A while passes with no word for them so I resign myself to my room, as I assume that even the nastiest of hobo won't be swayed by the charms of these homely party-goers. I decide at this point to rub one out and head off to bed. I close my door, and check the rather thick blinds to make sure they were as I had left them and begin gripping my member. I hear a slight noise outside my window and look to make sure nobody is there while quickly pulling up my pants. I notice that my roommate had opened the small slitted window panes far too small for a head to fit through, but I see nobody and assume that I was being paranoid. A few minutes later, previously mentioned trashy girls come to tell me that they couldn't find anyone to buy them beer and we go our separate ways for the night.
Flash forward a couple months later, I'm at a party with the same friend from my dorm who has recently started dating one of the girls from the dorm across from us. I'm sitting there, fairly drunk and generally having a better time than I should be. Said girl comes up to me and begins to spew words, "I just wanted to tell you, that like four months ago I saw you jacking off and it was gross," she says. I quickly come up with a drunken lie, detailing how I was "Like changing or something" but she doesn't buy it and informs the entire party about the previously mentioned masturbation event and how she "Saw my butt." She then drunkenly yells this over and over again while we are walking back to the dorms while I try not to make eye contact with anyone and feel a bit like a chud. Really though, knocking is appreciated.
For some reason I was doing a domestic job (we really hate domestic and only work on enterprise type of stuff) and it comes to the point where I have to find the lead in cable (the cable from the street to the house).
The cable is most likely under the house, for whatever reason the man hole under this guys house is half the size of a normal one. So I squeeze in there, I barely make it in, I crawl to the other side of the house and find the stupid cable and fix the issue.
Job well done, but now I am stuck. Stupid fast ass bastard.
So like the fucktard I am I didnt put on overalls and I'm rolling around in the dirt, after some professional sliding around I get my head pointed in the correct direction and make my way out. I get half way through the man hole and my fat ass gets stuck.
I look up and theres the customer looking down at me.
Him:"Hey"
Me:"I'm stuck"
Him:"I need to get back to work, could you hurry up"
In the end I had to take my pants off to get out, while he watched, then watched me put them back on.
I also jumped out of man hole in a roof once because the customer stole my ladder, after spending 15 mintues with my head out of the man hole shouting for some one to come assist me, I just gave up and jumped/fell out of the hole right infront of a hot chick that just happened to walk into the room. Scared the shit out of her.
I fell off a booth at a restaurant at the mall today. Really hard too. I got up quickly, hoping not too many people noticed, but when I got out in the food court, two guys asked if I was OK. I said yes and quickly walked away, though to their credit they looked genuinely concerned and weren't laughing.
I fell off a booth at a restaurant at the mall today. Really hard too. I got up quickly, hoping not too many people noticed, but when I got out in the food court, two guys asked if I was OK. I said yes and quickly walked away, though to their credit they looked genuinely concerned and weren't laughing.
But my mother did. Oh yes, she laughed.
I think I broke my finger, too.
Ahh people falling over and hurting themselves, a basic element of humour. Something at work happened today thats probably happened to most of us. Someone asked the hottest girl who works there out for a drink and she said no. Yay for awkwardness.
So in grade 7 we have this 2 teachers for most of our subjects (excluding P.E and Home Ec)..
For a few months after christmas we had a sub who was learning to be a teacher.. he was 40.. and for his first few days he wore an eyepatch.
Our math/science teacher would usually take the day off, or work in the computer lab, while our english/art guy would sometimes sit in during the new teachers classes taking notes and stuff.
Okay, so this guy, lets call him... Mr. Wessly.. he was the creepiest motherfucker you will ever meet.
He put his foot in his mouth every other sentence, and more then once the jock kid in our class would pipe up and say it to his face.
For example, the jock and his friends were making fun of the school outcast, lets call her Tiff.
She was short, loud, and people from her old school told me that she once faked a rape.
Alright, so the jock and his friends are ripping on her, saying dumb teenager stuff about her hair and whatnot.
Mr. Wess comes over by the time they got to making fun of the "acne on her back".. He pipes up and defends her..
"What are you talking about, she has a beautiful back.... why.. if I had a camera, I would take a picture of it" and then he kinda jokingly made a click sound and pretended he had a poloroid.
This is just one example, and its a pretty tame one, it got worse, but I don't remember specifics.
Okay, so after about 4 months our art guy tells us we should make a card for Mr.Wess, because he will be leaving soon.
Now being the person that I am, I assumed its because of all of Mr.Wess' fuck ups, and that he had lost the chance of getting a job.. (the previous months had been a "trail period") so on the card in bold black letters I wrote..
"Better luck next time"...
Art guy reads it, gets very pissed.
Turns out a relative of Mr.Wess (or Mr.Wess himself, its a bit foggy) had come down with cancer, and was going to postpone his teaching courses so he could travel to ontario to see a specalist for a few months.
I dunno, I thought it was all a huge giant clusterfuck at the time.
EDIT: Just talked to one of my friends, appartnly Mr.Wess is not dead yet, but HE still has the cancer.
Once we got a cafeteria worker to quit (long story short, she was very rude and cursed at us, this was a private elementary school) and had to make her a card. My friend and I drew a card that had her walking down a railroad track with a hobo sack on a stick with the words "So Long" up top. Our teacher was not happy.
But really she was a total bitch and she didn't really quit, she just wanted to abloobloo the kids are mean to me to the principal so she wouldn't get fired. She ended up getting canned several years later when the school decided to go with a catering company.
I don't really have too many strange and embarrassing moments mainly because I just laugh it off and roll with whatever's going on.
Well, I do have a 3rd hand story though. Friend of a friend type dealy. So my friend (we'll call him Al) was stationed in Japan for a number of years before I met him in Guam. He told me a story about how one of his friends (we'll call him Steve) told him about this really awesome Japanese girl he hooked up with and now they've been dating for a few months and were sleeping together on a semi-regular basis. Steve treats Al and all their other buddies out for drinks and he invites his girlfriend to come along. Steve is beaming with pride about this hot chick he's sleeping with. For some reason she leaves the table and and Steve leans in "See guys? Isn't she awesome?" Al and all the other friends kinda look at each other and decide to give him the bad news. "Steve.... she's a dude." Much to Steve's horror and shock and disbelief, the girl confirmed the truth and was really a he.
How do you make that sort of mistake with someone you've been sleeping with...? Was he lying about that, or what?
If you're insanely oblivious to the female anatomy AND they slept with their clothes on AND they slept in the "zzzz" kind of sleeping.
Then maybe. But it's still a long shot.
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NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
edited September 2009
I didn't get the specifics, I mean it's not really my story but I had similar questions. (Never saw the other guy or the "girl" in question.)
If HBO's Taxicab Confessions told me anything though, it is sort of possible if the "girl" is a little larger and only lets you take her from behind. Maybe the dude just thought that she was REALLY into anal and didn't care about the front door?
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Seriously? That would be like poking a Red Wings fan in the back and asking them to take off their Red Wings jersey... in Detroit.
EDIT: Go Red Wings.
How the flying fuck did you get "Terrified of women" from "Embarrassed that he was just referring to someone as the wrong gender"?
So.....it's...the Red Wings you're a fan of? Oh, you wacky sports guys and your...sports...events.
Like I said, I resisted. I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to think, "Oh, that's right, that's what those bombs were for again, not so women in 1940s swimsuits could grind up against them" though. I probably could have done it too, at the risk of seeming like a total dick. TA's are given a lot of leeway anyway at my school. I could have not bothered showing up if I wanted to. :P
So you're not bitter at all, I see.
I'm a giant moron so I probably have some stories for this thread floating around in my head. Will post when I can remember them.
We mad a semi-manly chick in my unit when I was still in. She was never confused as a man and thus not subjected to that hair policy, but she did get a good talking to about shaving when it got that bad. Seriously.
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You've been reported to DHS, traitor.
Hah, like I haven't heard that before, I....oh god, they're coming through the windows!
I'm actually a little bit curious about that myself. Frankly, I chalk it the mistaken gender up to the fact that we had a massive influx of new people and he was a bit haggard. He's one of the nicest NCO's I've ever had the privilege of serving under, and he's not scared of women.
Maybe I was hasty. I guess it seems to me that (given your story, anyway), part of his job is to "dress down" the men/women underneath him. Presumably, he occasionally makes mistakes while doing his job. That particular mistake would be embarrassing for anyone, but a simple and straightforward apology seems more appropriate to me than (what I interpreted as) a sudden and immediate change in attitude.
Wow, this is one of those once in a life-time fuckups
An understandable mistake, then. Actually, he just is very strict about enforcing 36-2903 (Dress and Appearance) because our new Chief and Commander both are cracking down on it. Like I said, I think this was more of a "finally the end of the day and oh dear god I do not need this right now" kind of thing.
More on topic, when I was ten I somehow managed to get my head stuck between the railings at a busy airport. So...yeah.
Well, at least he never made that mistake again. Another lesson learned.
Well if he obeyed the no diving rule he wouldn't be in that position
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So I'm standing at a downtown ATM, getting some money, when a crazy-looking homeless guy wanders up and says "I want that machine to ejaculate money at me."
Thank god I was pretty much done with my transaction.
Did anyone see the taped Ellen Degeneres routine where she answers questions at the end? This woman - and I hesitate to use the word 'butch' on account of unfortunate connotations, but, you know - stands up. She's got really short hair and she's wearing a shirt out of Al Borland's closet. Ellen, from the stage, goes, "Yes, sir?" Then realizes what she's done. It was fantastic.
This was my roommate's and my biggest fear when we hit up a recent anime con (they had various Resident Evil voice actors there and all in all it was generally fun). Luckily the con recently changed venues to a really nice hotel complete with bar. Didn't have to worry about that this time.
I don't really have too many strange and embarrassing moments mainly because I just laugh it off and roll with whatever's going on.
Well, I do have a 3rd hand story though. Friend of a friend type dealy. So my friend (we'll call him Al) was stationed in Japan for a number of years before I met him in Guam. He told me a story about how one of his friends (we'll call him Steve) told him about this really awesome Japanese girl he hooked up with and now they've been dating for a few months and were sleeping together on a semi-regular basis. Steve treats Al and all their other buddies out for drinks and he invites his girlfriend to come along. Steve is beaming with pride about this hot chick he's sleeping with. For some reason she leaves the table and and Steve leans in "See guys? Isn't she awesome?" Al and all the other friends kinda look at each other and decide to give him the bad news. "Steve.... she's a dude." Much to Steve's horror and shock and disbelief, the girl confirmed the truth and was really a he.
Well, except for me. I was the stereotypical drunk obnoxious guy. I had the genius idea of drinking beer as well as tequila straight out of the bottle, and jagermeister straight out of the bottle. I blacked out pretty hardcore; like 8 - 10 hours of the day.
Apparently; and I say that because I have no memory of the event, during the big "party scene" shoot I was walking right in front of the camera in the way of the shot. The director or a camera guy start yelling "PURPLE SHIRT! PURPLE SHIRT! GET HIM OFF THE PROPERTY!!!!" (I was wearing a purple shirt). Me, instead of responding logically (such as: "oh, me? sorry!" *moving out of the way, or better yet NOT HAVING CAUSED FUCKING PROBLEMS*) respond with this sort of thinking: "FUCK YOU DIEEE" and go over and start pushing a camera guy around.
What. The. Fuck.
It didn't turn out to be a big deal in the end cause im pretty good friends with the band, so they just got me away from the situation and said sorry to the camera guys, who they were paying anyways.
I was pretty nervous about the situation the next day though, because my last fleeting memories were of causing some kind of a disturbance but not sure exactly what.
Actually thats not the last thing I remember. The last thing I remember is some hot red head chick that was on "Naked News" getting topless.
OH and apparently I felt up and had some very :winky::winky: conversations with my one friends girl. No memory of that either.
[Edit] Referring to the girl stuff, not the part on being an asshole to the camera crew that is.
My wife and I were at this food store called the Grocery Outlet. They sell alot of oddball items and generally crappy food. But they're also really cheap. Like boxes of christmas themed cereal in june or something.
We'd shopped their alot back when we first got together and had come in more or less for nostalgia's sake.
I think. While we were looking through some frozen foods she complained that I wasn't interested in getting anything and said we used to shop here all the time. And then much louder than I'd intended I snapped back "Yeah when we were poor!". At which point I looked up to find another family across the aisle looking over at us for what felt like a long time before we just sort of shuffled off around the corner and then quickly out of the store. Usually my wife is the one to say things at just the wrong moment, but that was my turn.
Hey my fiancee works at a Grocery Outlet. That is neither strange nor embarrassing, merely annectodal. Is that a word? I don't care.
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So I'm in this philosophy course, and we come to the new problem of induction. The prof, to kick off the discussion, asked the class if "anyone has encountered grue before."
To which I replied, "This one time, in the basement of a white house. It was dark and the grue ate me."
Cue a solid fifteen seconds of blank stares from everyone - everyone - in the room. People's heads turned towards me with exaggerated slowness.
"...Game called Zork? From Infocom back in the early 80s? Anybody?"
Still starin'.
The professor then moves on as if absolutely nothing had happened while I mutter "Fuckin' philistines," under my breath.
You mean there are other types of grue?
No offense.
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"Grue" is a component of a problem with inductive logic, which basically boils down to philosophers wanking over semantics.
Flash forward a couple months later, I'm at a party with the same friend from my dorm who has recently started dating one of the girls from the dorm across from us. I'm sitting there, fairly drunk and generally having a better time than I should be. Said girl comes up to me and begins to spew words, "I just wanted to tell you, that like four months ago I saw you jacking off and it was gross," she says. I quickly come up with a drunken lie, detailing how I was "Like changing or something" but she doesn't buy it and informs the entire party about the previously mentioned masturbation event and how she "Saw my butt." She then drunkenly yells this over and over again while we are walking back to the dorms while I try not to make eye contact with anyone and feel a bit like a chud. Really though, knocking is appreciated.
For some reason I was doing a domestic job (we really hate domestic and only work on enterprise type of stuff) and it comes to the point where I have to find the lead in cable (the cable from the street to the house).
The cable is most likely under the house, for whatever reason the man hole under this guys house is half the size of a normal one. So I squeeze in there, I barely make it in, I crawl to the other side of the house and find the stupid cable and fix the issue.
Job well done, but now I am stuck. Stupid fast ass bastard.
So like the fucktard I am I didnt put on overalls and I'm rolling around in the dirt, after some professional sliding around I get my head pointed in the correct direction and make my way out. I get half way through the man hole and my fat ass gets stuck.
I look up and theres the customer looking down at me.
Him:"Hey"
Me:"I'm stuck"
Him:"I need to get back to work, could you hurry up"
In the end I had to take my pants off to get out, while he watched, then watched me put them back on.
I also jumped out of man hole in a roof once because the customer stole my ladder, after spending 15 mintues with my head out of the man hole shouting for some one to come assist me, I just gave up and jumped/fell out of the hole right infront of a hot chick that just happened to walk into the room. Scared the shit out of her.
Like, did he think he could get away with it? That you didn't know who he was and where he lived?
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But my mother did. Oh yes, she laughed.
I think I broke my finger, too.
Ahh people falling over and hurting themselves, a basic element of humour. Something at work happened today thats probably happened to most of us. Someone asked the hottest girl who works there out for a drink and she said no. Yay for awkwardness.
For a few months after christmas we had a sub who was learning to be a teacher.. he was 40.. and for his first few days he wore an eyepatch.
Our math/science teacher would usually take the day off, or work in the computer lab, while our english/art guy would sometimes sit in during the new teachers classes taking notes and stuff.
Okay, so this guy, lets call him... Mr. Wessly.. he was the creepiest motherfucker you will ever meet.
He put his foot in his mouth every other sentence, and more then once the jock kid in our class would pipe up and say it to his face.
For example, the jock and his friends were making fun of the school outcast, lets call her Tiff.
She was short, loud, and people from her old school told me that she once faked a rape.
Alright, so the jock and his friends are ripping on her, saying dumb teenager stuff about her hair and whatnot.
Mr. Wess comes over by the time they got to making fun of the "acne on her back".. He pipes up and defends her..
"What are you talking about, she has a beautiful back.... why.. if I had a camera, I would take a picture of it" and then he kinda jokingly made a click sound and pretended he had a poloroid.
This is just one example, and its a pretty tame one, it got worse, but I don't remember specifics.
Okay, so after about 4 months our art guy tells us we should make a card for Mr.Wess, because he will be leaving soon.
Now being the person that I am, I assumed its because of all of Mr.Wess' fuck ups, and that he had lost the chance of getting a job.. (the previous months had been a "trail period") so on the card in bold black letters I wrote..
"Better luck next time"...
Art guy reads it, gets very pissed.
Turns out a relative of Mr.Wess (or Mr.Wess himself, its a bit foggy) had come down with cancer, and was going to postpone his teaching courses so he could travel to ontario to see a specalist for a few months.
I dunno, I thought it was all a huge giant clusterfuck at the time.
EDIT: Just talked to one of my friends, appartnly Mr.Wess is not dead yet, but HE still has the cancer.
Wohhoo?
But really she was a total bitch and she didn't really quit, she just wanted to abloobloo the kids are mean to me to the principal so she wouldn't get fired. She ended up getting canned several years later when the school decided to go with a catering company.
How do you make that sort of mistake with someone you've been sleeping with...? Was he lying about that, or what?
Then maybe. But it's still a long shot.
If HBO's Taxicab Confessions told me anything though, it is sort of possible if the "girl" is a little larger and only lets you take her from behind. Maybe the dude just thought that she was REALLY into anal and didn't care about the front door?