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Strange and Embarrassing Moments: Italy: Land of Homoerotic Escapades

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Posts

  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    I read you catheter story to my mom who is a nurse Pony. All she did was laugh and keep laughing. Good story. I don't know what is worse though, an attractive women putting it in or having a guy about the same age doing while explaining it to another guy who is standing there watching because that is what happened to me.

    Your mom is laughing so much because she has had to do that.
    Thus whats worse here is learning that your mom has held so many balls she knows just what to do to make an erection drop.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
  • KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    I read you catheter story to my mom who is a nurse Pony. All she did was laugh and keep laughing. Good story. I don't know what is worse though, an attractive women putting it in or having a guy about the same age doing while explaining it to another guy who is standing there watching because that is what happened to me.

    Your mom is laughing so much because she has had to do that.
    Thus whats worse here is learning that your mom has held so many balls she knows just what to do to make an erection drop.

    Or how to make one appear if she wants to.

    Khavall on
  • elevatureelevature Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Talka wrote: »
    I got really drunk and puked all over my seven year old Japanese host son while he was sleeping.

    I just want to recognize the awesomeness of this since everyone's talking about pony's balls and no one seems to have noticed this one.

    elevature on
  • underdonkunderdonk __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2009
    elevature wrote: »
    Talka wrote: »
    I got really drunk and puked all over my seven year old Japanese host son while he was sleeping.

    I just want to recognize the awesomeness of this since everyone's talking about pony's balls and no one seems to have noticed this one.

    Well yeah, but who hasn't puked on their sleeping Japanese host's seven year old son?

    underdonk on
    Back in the day, bucko, we just had an A and a B button... and we liked it.
  • SliderSlider Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I was about 12/13 years old when I went to Disneyworld. I remember walking around trying to find cute girls, but for some reason I couldn't find any.

    I followed my parents into some sort of western saloon where a sing-song type of show was being performed. Lo and behold, amongst the crowd I spotted a single blonde-haired girl that was about my age.

    Unbeknownst to me, during a particular mushy love song my dad, sitting behind me, had been pointing at me, trying to get the attention of the performers.

    I guess this was one of those songs where they involved the audience, because before I knew it the back of my chair was grabbed and I was pulled into the middle of the room along with the blonde-haired girl, so we were sitting back to back.

    Ugh, everybody was laughing, singing and clapping, and staring at us, like, "Oh, how cute..." It was freaking embarrassing.

    To make matters worse, when I finally saw the girl's face after the show, gah, she was hideous.

    Slider on
  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Pony wrote: »
    i got a catheter in when i was like, 12

    which is at that age where a stiff breeze can give you a boner

    Missed opportunity.

    Tofystedeth on
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  • ShawnaseeShawnasee Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    elevature wrote: »
    Talka wrote: »
    I got really drunk and puked all over my seven year old Japanese host son while he was sleeping.

    I just want to recognize the awesomeness of this since everyone's talking about pony's balls and no one seems to have noticed this one.

    Is this awesome because it's disturbing?

    Can we get some context here Talka?

    Shawnasee on
  • VistiVisti Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I just have to say.. I love this thread so hard.

    Visti on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Visti wrote: »
    I just have to say.. I love this thread so hard.

    is... is that an embarrassing story?

    Like, did you make a mess?

    The Crowing One on
    3rddocbottom.jpg
  • admanbadmanb unionize your workplace Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Visti wrote: »
    I just have to say.. I love this thread so hard.

    is... is that an embarrassing story?

    Like, did you make a mess?

    Was he loving this thread hard in his room when his grandmother walked in without knocking?

    admanb on
  • Dr. FaceDr. Face King of Pants Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    admanb wrote: »
    Visti wrote: »
    I just have to say.. I love this thread so hard.

    is... is that an embarrassing story?

    Like, did you make a mess?

    Was he loving this thread hard in his room when his grandmother walked in without knocking?

    It was his grandma and his best friend making out.

    Dr. Face on
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  • AusteraAustera Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    This isn't so bad compared to some of the ones in here, but yeah:

    I was 18 at the time and my family and relatives went on a trip somewhere irrelevant. There was a pool in the hotel we stayed at and one night, all the women and kids went down to swim. There were my aunts, mom, and 9 cousins (four 12-13 year-old boys, rest are younger girls). They were all too scared to swim to the deep end so me being the oldest cousin, wanted to show off a bit..until the totally unexpected happened. Just when I got to the deep end, I realized the string of my bikini top had loosened and was about to come off D: The only thing I could do was hold each part to my boobs, and since each hand was occupied, I couldn't get out of the pool. So I was at the deep end...thrashing my legs for dear life, and screaming "MOM! MOM HELP!! MOM!!" as all my cousins stared at me.

    Good thing it was only our family at the pool at the time!

    Austera on
  • Grim OutlookGrim Outlook Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    so this isn't strange as it is just awkward.

    i was in walmart and i was reading the back of a spam label. they have a box on the back that says

    "warning: delicious"

    i turned to my friend and said "haha oh man, who actually buys this stuff?"

    then the woman standing right next to me grabbed two cans, gave me a cold look out of the corner of her eye, and walked off.

    for the record i've never actually tried spam, maybe it is delicious enough to warrant a warning.

    Grim Outlook on
  • SliderSlider Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Austera wrote: »
    This isn't so bad compared to some of the ones in here, but yeah:

    I was 18 at the time and my family and relatives went on a trip somewhere irrelevant. There was a pool in the hotel we stayed at and one night, all the women and kids went down to swim. There were my aunts, mom, and 9 cousins (four 12-13 year-old boys, rest are younger girls). They were all too scared to swim to the deep end so me being the oldest cousin, wanted to show off a bit..until the totally unexpected happened. Just when I got to the deep end, I realized the string of my bikini top had loosened and was about to come off D: The only thing I could do was hold each part to my boobs, and since each hand was occupied, I couldn't get out of the pool. So I was at the deep end...thrashing my legs for dear life, and screaming "MOM! MOM HELP!! MOM!!" as all my cousins stared at me.

    Good thing it was only our family at the pool at the time!


    I was under the impression that those things helped you float.

    Slider on
  • MaceraMacera UGH GODDAMMIT STOP ENJOYING THINGSRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    so this isn't strange as it is just awkward.

    i was in walmart and i was reading the back of a spam label. they have a box on the back that says

    "warning: delicious"

    i turned to my friend and said "haha oh man, who actually buys this stuff?"

    then the woman standing right next to me grabbed two cans, gave me a cold look out of the corner of her eye, and walked off.

    for the record i've never actually tried spam, maybe it is delicious enough to warrant a warning.

    It's just ham and chopped shoulder. A little salty, but not terrible.

    Macera on
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  • RentRent I'm always right Fuckin' deal with itRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    so this isn't strange as it is just awkward.

    i was in walmart and i was reading the back of a spam label. they have a box on the back that says

    "warning: delicious"

    i turned to my friend and said "haha oh man, who actually buys this stuff?"

    then the woman standing right next to me grabbed two cans, gave me a cold look out of the corner of her eye, and walked off.

    for the record i've never actually tried spam, maybe it is delicious enough to warrant a warning.

    Try spam musubi you philistine

    Rent on
  • X Pr3dat0R XX Pr3dat0R X Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    I've had a small child ask if I was a man or a woman once, which was a bit odd considering I was dressed in slacks, a dress shirt and tie, and my hair has never even been past my ears in length.

    Bit late but I've just spent the last few hours catching up on this thread.
    Four people (inc me) were staying late in the Game store where I used to work to change the store layout, it got to about 7pm and we decided that two of us should go get some pizza for everyone, so myself and a colleague head to the Pizza Hut around the corner and are greeted at the take-away till by a girl who was:
    roughly 5' 10";
    lean;
    with short, dark, spiked-up hair;

    As the girl was taking our order, we hear a little girls voice coming from off to our left, spouting the enquiry of "Daddy, why does that boy sound like a girl?"

    Cue my friend and I going bug-eyed and trying not to laugh or draw attention to an already awkward moment when, to make matters worse, the girl behind the till says, in the most kicked-puppy voice I've heard to this day, "Because I am a girl!"

    Re: homeless stories:

    I once saw a homeless guy in Edinburgh with a crappy little out-of-tune acoustic just bashing away at the strings and making the most god-awful noise with it.
    Cardboard sign next to him read: "Need money for guitar lessons".

    X Pr3dat0R X on
  • WildcatWildcat Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    I've had a small child ask if I was a man or a woman once, which was a bit odd considering I was dressed in slacks, a dress shirt and tie, and my hair has never even been past my ears in length.

    Bit late but I've just spent the last few hours catching up on this thread.
    Four people (inc me) were staying late in the Game store where I used to work to change the store layout, it got to about 7pm and we decided that two of us should go get some pizza for everyone, so myself and a colleague head to the Pizza Hut around the corner and are greeted at the take-away till by a girl who was:
    roughly 5' 10";
    lean;
    with short, dark, spiked-up hair;

    As the girl was taking our order, we hear a little girls voice coming from off to our left, spouting the enquiry of "Daddy, why does that boy sound like a girl?"

    Cue my friend and I going bug-eyed and trying not to laugh or draw attention to an already awkward moment when, to make matters worse, the girl behind the till says, in the most kicked-puppy voice I've heard to this day, "Because I am a girl!"

    Re: homeless stories:

    I once saw a homeless guy in Edinburgh with a crappy little out-of-tune acoustic just bashing away at the strings and making the most god-awful noise with it.
    Cardboard sign next to him read: "Need money for guitar lessons".

    Nice, I'd have probably given him some cash for that.

    Wildcat on
  • rockmonkeyrockmonkey Little RockRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    This falls under strange I guess, but really I just wanted to share a homeless person story.

    So I live in Little Rock and if you're downtown it's pretty nice but there is this freeway that borders DT on the southside. The southside of the freeway is a REALLY bad area, except for two blocks right south of the freeway along Main street. There are some really nice stores. Classy bakery, piano store, and this place called Juanita's, which is a Mexican restaurant on one side and a Bar on the other.
    One day last fall the wife and I went to eat at this place and parallel parked out on the street. Before I even get fully out of the car I have this middle aged black gentleman that's pretty rough looking approach me, introduces himself as Jeff, and starts to give me this story about how he is from Texarkana (2hrs away) and his car broke down on the freeway and his girlfriend and his baby girl are still there with the car and he just needs some money for gas. I tell him (truthfully) that I don't carry any cash and my wife didn't bring her purse. At this point we've left the car and are walking slowly towards the restaurant. He is still doing the guilt thing and pleading and finally gets frustrated with me and asks me if I have a smoke. I tell him I don't smoke and my wife is pregnant so she obviously doesn't smoke either. We go about our business.

    Fast forward from Sept./Oct. last year to June of this year and I had some business one day across town, I'm headed back to the office when someone at work calls me and ask me to stop by and pick up this big check for them at this customers office. They give me the address and it's a couple blocks south of the freeway (about a mile from Juanita's). So I'm pulling into the parking lot and this middle aged black gentleman who looks kind of iffy is jogging up to my truck before I even park and taps on my window. I roll it down and he introduces himself as Jeff and that he's from Texarkana.

    Now at this point I start to mentally scratch my head because it sounds familiar. Then he tells me his car is broke down on the freeway and he needs some money for gas. I tell him I don't carry cash and that I'm working and need to go. I'm finding this hilarious that he is using the same sob story for 8 months and I'm trying not to laugh. He laments about is baby girl still at the car with his girlfriend. He then tells me how his baby is hungry, and will I buy his baby some chicken.

    "Will you buy my baby some chicken, come one just buy my baby some chicken."

    At this point I couldn't help but to laugh uncontrollably which confuses him and I explain to him that he told me the same story 8 months ago and that's a long time to be stuck on the side of the freeway.

    He left me alone, but I'm thoroughly looking forward to seeing him again next time.

    edit: I know I'm horrible for laughing at a guy who obviously needs help of some sort, but me giving him money directly would just encourage his behavoir and we can all agree that there is likely no car, no girlfriend, and no baby, because babies don't eat chicken.

    rockmonkey on
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  • firewaterwordfirewaterword Satchitananda Pais Vasco to San FranciscoRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    In his defense, Texarkana is an utter cesspool. He'd have a few bucks from me for sympathy alone.

    I've got a friend I go drinking with in San Francisco every once in awhile. Thing about SF is that a lot of the great bars are in shitty parts of town (primarily the Tenderloin and around Union Square). Anyway, whenever one of the eight-hundred-thousand street people of the city ask him for money, he'll usually give it to them - but there's a caveat...

    They have to rap for it.

    This, as you can imagine, can be pretty strange and embarrassing for all involved. Most of the time they'll just grumble and walk off. Sometimes it's "fuck you, you [random asian racial slur]." But sometimes, if the planets are aligned right, he'll get someone to actually do a decent freestyle for $5.

    firewaterword on
    Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu
  • rockmonkeyrockmonkey Little RockRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    In his defense, Texarkana is an utter cesspool. He'd have a few bucks from me for sympathy alone.

    I've got a friend I go drinking with in San Francisco every once in awhile. Thing about SF is that a lot of the great bars are in shitty parts of town (primarily the Tenderloin and around Union Square). Anyway, whenever one of the eight-hundred-thousand street people of the city ask him for money, he'll usually give it to them - but there's a caveat...

    They have to rap for it.

    This, as you can imagine, can be pretty strange and embarrassing for all involved. Most of the time they'll just grumble and walk off. Sometimes it's "fuck you, you [random asian racial slur]." But sometimes, if the planets are aligned right, he'll get someone to actually do a decent freestyle for $5.

    I don't particularly care for Texarkana either, but in its defense they have seen some major growth over the last 5 years. Especially on the Texas side around I-30. Tons of new restaurants, shopping, and new overpasses are going in.

    rockmonkey on
    NEWrockzomb80.jpg
  • ShawnaseeShawnasee Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    It was my last weekend on a remote tour in Iceland. Tradition is to get wasted.

    I go to a friends apartment on base(he got married there) and he has this bar in his apartment. Anyone leaving Iceland has to 'work' the bar. Anyone 'working' the bar has to drink whatever is ordered.

    "I'll take two shots of Tequila please."

    The bartender has to drink two shots of tequila.

    Two hours 'working' the bar and I am shit faced.

    We decide to go to the Marine bar on base because we run out of alcohol. It's closed but some marine's wife just had a baby and he's roaming the hall with a bottle of Jack Daniels and handing out cigars.
    I take a couple of shots of Jack and start puffing on the cigar. I

    Thats the last thing I remember.

    The next thing I know I'm in my bed being prodded by a Navy MP: (that doesn't sound right...I was being prodded by his night stick.......wait! oh fuck it...)

    MP: "Sir! Wake up! Sir, where do you live?"
    Me: "what the fuck? Why are you in my room? what the fuck?"
    MP: "Sir, where do you live?"
    Me: "Georgia! What are you doing in here? Get out of my room?"
    MP: "Sir, what dorm do you live in? What room?"

    At this point (I am still in my bed) I look past the MP and see another MP at the door and a crowd of girls behind the MP.
    This is when I start looking around the room. There's a poster of David Hasslehoff on the wall. WTF?
    I see some stuffed animals laying around the bed.
    What assholes stuck a Michael Knight poster on my wall and a bunch of stuffed animals on my bed?!

    MP: "Sir, what dorm do you live in? What room?"
    Me: "Dorm 300 room 301. Top floor."
    MP: "Sir, you're in Dorm 100 room 201..."
    Me: "......."
    MP: "Sir, can you please get out of bed?"

    At this point I stumble out of bed to which the MP backs up and I hear a lot of giggles from the hallway.

    Apparently....I am naked.

    MP: "Sir, can you please put on your clothes? You're under arrest."

    I drunkenly put on my clothes, at which point the MP cuffs me and as I am being escorted out of the room one of the girls says:

    "I am so sorry! I couldn't wake you up. I tried for so long. I am so sorry!"

    In the dorms we lived in, keys weren't really needed to get into your room. All you had to do was bang on the top of your doorknob and you could unlock the door.
    Apparently in my drunken induced blackout I had not only broken into the room of a Navy Nurse who was working mid shift but also got butt naked and went to sleep.

    When she got home she found a naked drunk guy in her bed.

    She couldn't wake me so she called the cops.


    My commander had to come get me out of jail. She was smiling the whole time.

    My punishment was going to an Icelandic AA meeting and a Addicts class on base and an extra month in Iceland.

    As for why the girls in the hall were giggling? It's fuckin cold in Iceland, man!

    Shawnasee on
  • firewaterwordfirewaterword Satchitananda Pais Vasco to San FranciscoRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    rockmonkey wrote: »
    I don't particularly care for Texarkana either, but in its defense they have seen some major growth over the last 5 years. Especially on the Texas side around I-30. Tons of new restaurants, shopping, and new overpasses are going in.

    I've only ever had to go there for work - if there weren't a constant stream of patent infringement cases to litigate in the Federal Eastern District of Texas, I don't think the place would exist. This goes double for Marshall, Texas.

    But I guess it's gets points for being less of a hell than Marshall.

    firewaterword on
    Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu
  • Hotlead JunkieHotlead Junkie Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Don't mind me, just dotting the thread

    Hotlead Junkie on
    tf2_sig.png
  • SniperGuySniperGuy SniperGuyGaming Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Macera wrote: »
    so this isn't strange as it is just awkward.

    i was in walmart and i was reading the back of a spam label. they have a box on the back that says

    "warning: delicious"

    i turned to my friend and said "haha oh man, who actually buys this stuff?"

    then the woman standing right next to me grabbed two cans, gave me a cold look out of the corner of her eye, and walked off.

    for the record i've never actually tried spam, maybe it is delicious enough to warrant a warning.

    It's just ham and chopped shoulder. A little salty, but not terrible.

    Fried Spam Sandwiches are actually pretty delicious.

    SniperGuy on
  • Grid SystemGrid System Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Four people (inc me) were staying late in the Game store where I used to work to change the store layout, it got to about 7pm and we decided that two of us should go get some pizza for everyone, so myself and a colleague head to the Pizza Hut around the corner and are greeted at the take-away till by a girl who was:
    roughly 5' 10";
    lean;
    with short, dark, spiked-up hair;

    As the girl was taking our order, we hear a little girls voice coming from off to our left, spouting the enquiry of "Daddy, why does that boy sound like a girl?"

    Cue my friend and I going bug-eyed and trying not to laugh or draw attention to an already awkward moment when, to make matters worse, the girl behind the till says, in the most kicked-puppy voice I've heard to this day, "Because I am a girl!"
    Reminds me of this one evening when I was walking down the street with my girlfriend. I'm not a very big guy, and I have longish--but not long--hair. Other than that though, I don't think I look that much like a girl. So you can imagine my confusion when this truck full of yokels drove past and some guy shouted "Lesbians!" at us.

    Grid System on
  • MightyMighty Omeganaut '15 '16 '17 NebraskaRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Four people (inc me) were staying late in the Game store where I used to work to change the store layout, it got to about 7pm and we decided that two of us should go get some pizza for everyone, so myself and a colleague head to the Pizza Hut around the corner and are greeted at the take-away till by a girl who was:
    roughly 5' 10";
    lean;
    with short, dark, spiked-up hair;

    As the girl was taking our order, we hear a little girls voice coming from off to our left, spouting the enquiry of "Daddy, why does that boy sound like a girl?"

    Cue my friend and I going bug-eyed and trying not to laugh or draw attention to an already awkward moment when, to make matters worse, the girl behind the till says, in the most kicked-puppy voice I've heard to this day, "Because I am a girl!"
    Reminds me of this one evening when I was walking down the street with my girlfriend. I'm not a very big guy, and I have longish--but not long--hair. Other than that though, I don't think I look that much like a girl. So you can imagine my confusion when this truck full of yokels drove past and some guy shouted "Lesbians!" at us.
    To be fair to them, i bet you do like fucking women.

    Mighty on
    Twitch: twitch.tv\dreadmighty
  • LineNoizLineNoiz Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    My family on my father's side are a bunch of uptight ultra conservative Mormons. On my mother's side... not so much. My mother and father split when I was around 5 and I was raised by my mother. Needless to say, I don't exactly share the views of my father's family. Whenever I visited them, I made sure to be on my "best behavior" lest I incur the wrath of the disappointed stares that somehow managed to actually be effective.

    Around the time I was 14 or so, a bunch of my relatives (father's side) came in from all over the globe. I hadn't seen most of these folks in years, and some I had never met. These people hadn't been together in one place in my lifetime, so a big party was planned to take place at my aunt's house.

    On the day of the big shindig, I get there a bit early to help set up. My aunt had bought a new camcorder to record the event and decided I should be the one to operate it for the evening. She gave me the camcorder and I set to work figuring out how to operate it. First thing I noticed was that as soon as you hit the "record" button, a 10-second countdown started in the viewfinder. I asked my aunt about it and she told me it was a delay between hitting the record button and any actual recording.

    At the end of the day, we sat around to watch what I had recorded. I saw very quickly that I was in deep shit; there was no delay between hitting the button and the actual recording.

    Some highlights from the video include 10 seconds of a close up of a horse's giant dong filmed while it was taking a piss, 10 seconds of said horse's giant steaming pile of shit (while I joked out loud comparing this pile of shit to the Mormon religion), and a bunch of me expressing my contempt at whomever I was filming at the time (followed by a quick change in tone at the 10 second mark).

    After the horse dong/shit part, my aunt shut the video off. Everyone was looking at me, all silent. I said "Hey, so, uhh... That countdown? Yeah, turns out it isn't a recording delay..."

    LineNoiz on
  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Shawnasee wrote: »

    As for why the girls in the hall were giggling? It's fuckin cold in Iceland, man!

    Great story, but i thought Iceland was very nice, and Greenland was covered in ice?
    Thank you Wayne's World 2

    Tofystedeth on
    steam_sig.png
  • PeenPeen Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Shawnasee wrote: »

    As for why the girls in the hall were giggling? It's fuckin cold in Iceland, man!

    Great story, but i thought Iceland was very nice, and Greenland was covered in ice?
    Thank you Wayne's World 2

    Hey. That's Mighty Ducks 2, thank you.

    Peen on
  • ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Reminds me of this one evening when I was walking down the street with my girlfriend. I'm not a very big guy, and I have longish--but not long--hair. Other than that though, I don't think I look that much like a girl. So you can imagine my confusion when this truck full of yokels drove past and some guy shouted "Lesbians!" at us.

    I feel ya

    from earlier in the thread:
    Arch wrote: »
    So I just realized I have an embarrassing story relating to mistaken gender!

    I am a dude and I usually keep my hair around shoulder length. ......[snip]I was walking down the halls of high school with my girlfriend and someone walks up behind us and says: "Wow, it is so great that you two feel comfortable showing your affection in public. Being a lesbian is hard sometimes!"

    Best part? A week later at a concert some drunk guy sees me kiss my girlfriend and he yells: "DUDE! Hot lesbians at this concert man!" to his friend.

    Arch on
  • Dr. FaceDr. Face King of Pants Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I was just taking a dump at work (university) when a guy walks in, very casually, goes into the stall next to me and proceeds to turn into a vomit breathing dragon. I've never heard anyone puke like that. It was like he was yelling it out. After about 10 minutes of this he walks to the sink, washes his hands, walks back into the stall and does it again. Part way through the second one I swear I hear him crying. Another 5 minutes, another hand wash and he walks out.

    I had been done way before he was but stayed put. I didn't want to deal with the awkwardness of seeing who the hell it was since we were the only ones in the bathroom, and he was, you know - crying during it.

    Dr. Face on
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  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Shawnasee wrote: »

    As for why the girls in the hall were giggling? It's fuckin cold in Iceland, man!

    Great story, but i thought Iceland was very nice, and Greenland was covered in ice?
    Thank you Wayne's World 2

    Hey. That's Mighty Ducks 2, thank you.

    Ahhh that's right. Stupid me. I got that scene confused with the one in WW2 with Bjergen Kjargen.
    Well, nice to meet you, Bjergen Kjargen, from Kneurgen, near the Joergen Fjords. Hmm. Kneurgen, that's in the Klargen Province, near the Biburgen River.

    Tofystedeth on
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  • BolthornBolthorn Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    LineNoiz wrote: »
    My family on my father's side are a bunch of uptight ultra conservative Mormons. On my mother's side... not so much. My mother and father split when I was around 5 and I was raised by my mother. Needless to say, I don't exactly share the views of my father's family. Whenever I visited them, I made sure to be on my "best behavior" lest I incur the wrath of the disappointed stares that somehow managed to actually be effective.

    Around the time I was 14 or so, a bunch of my relatives (father's side) came in from all over the globe. I hadn't seen most of these folks in years, and some I had never met. These people hadn't been together in one place in my lifetime, so a big party was planned to take place at my aunt's house.

    On the day of the big shindig, I get there a bit early to help set up. My aunt had bought a new camcorder to record the event and decided I should be the one to operate it for the evening. She gave me the camcorder and I set to work figuring out how to operate it. First thing I noticed was that as soon as you hit the "record" button, a 10-second countdown started in the viewfinder. I asked my aunt about it and she told me it was a delay between hitting the record button and any actual recording.

    At the end of the day, we sat around to watch what I had recorded. I saw very quickly that I was in deep shit; there was no delay between hitting the button and the actual recording.

    Some highlights from the video include 10 seconds of a close up of a horse's giant dong filmed while it was taking a piss, 10 seconds of said horse's giant steaming pile of shit (while I joked out loud comparing this pile of shit to the Mormon religion), and a bunch of me expressing my contempt at whomever I was filming at the time (followed by a quick change in tone at the 10 second mark).

    After the horse dong/shit part, my aunt shut the video off. Everyone was looking at me, all silent. I said "Hey, so, uhh... That countdown? Yeah, turns out it isn't a recording delay..."

    I'm rolling with laughter. Great story!

    Bolthorn on
  • X Pr3dat0R XX Pr3dat0R X Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Dr. Face wrote: »
    I was just taking a dump at work (university) when a guy walks in, very casually, goes into the stall next to me and proceeds to turn into a vomit breathing dragon. I've never heard anyone puke like that. It was like he was yelling it out. After about 10 minutes of this he walks to the sink, washes his hands, walks back into the stall and does it again. Part way through the second one I swear I hear him crying. Another 5 minutes, another hand wash and he walks out.

    I had been done way before he was but stayed put. I didn't want to deal with the awkwardness of seeing who the hell it was since we were the only ones in the bathroom, and he was, you know - crying during it.

    Did it turn out to be your crazy boyfriend/girlfriend? I'm trying to suss this double posting before one gets removed...

    X Pr3dat0R X on
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Dr. Face wrote: »
    I was just taking a dump at work (university) when a guy walks in, very casually, goes into the stall next to me and proceeds to turn into a vomit breathing dragon. I've never heard anyone puke like that. It was like he was yelling it out. After about 10 minutes of this he walks to the sink, washes his hands, walks back into the stall and does it again. Part way through the second one I swear I hear him crying. Another 5 minutes, another hand wash and he walks out.

    I had been done way before he was but stayed put. I didn't want to deal with the awkwardness of seeing who the hell it was since we were the only ones in the bathroom, and he was, you know - crying during it.
    Reminds me of my undergrad.

    Last campus party of the winter term, before summer break. I drank my ass off. As in, I fell asleep totally drunk before 10pm. I fell asleep on a couch in a small room in the building's basement. I woke up the next morning, hungover (naturally), took a few steps, and started not feeling good. I ran to the washrooms and barely made it, didn't even manage to close the stall door before I started puking my stomach out. And the building janitor saw me run in, and decided I could use some company, so he was standing behind me chatting while I was doing it.

    And that's when my parents decided to call my cell to know why I hadn't come home last night.

    Richy on
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  • X Pr3dat0R XX Pr3dat0R X Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    This is not dying already!

    Here's a story in which my own mother is embarassed!

    When I was but a lad of age five or so, mummy dearest and I decided to partake in a journey into the town center for whatever reason. Mayhap we were looking to purchase clothes for school, possibly we were going for a galavant, who knows?
    As we're on the way in on the bus (at that point we only had the one car for the family), a woman gets on with these huge, crazy buck teeth. Like at least three pointing at random angles out of her mouth and the rest just crooked and strange. So much so that nigh on everyone on the bus made a double take when she got on.

    This unfortunate lady happens to sit down across the aisle from me.
    Cue my head swinging round (dramaticChipmunk.gif style) to stare directly at her and let my little inquisitive mouth go "hmmmm".
    Then my head swings back round and I say - quite loudly - "MUMMY! LOOK! What's wrong with her teeth?!"

    Suddenly, it was our stop... we were about 5 miles from town. I never did find out what was wrong with that woman's teeth.
    My mum still says that's the most embrassing thing I've done to her, half of the bus tried not to laugh, the others let their eyes openly scorn us.

    X Pr3dat0R X on
  • MegalomaniageekMegalomaniageek Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I embarrassed my parents more times than I could count as a little kid by repeating highlights of private gossip and bitching about family members and friends to said family members and friends. However, plenty of times they were only half mortified, as they were also half glad they could essentially let me say what they wanted to say but couldn't.

    Megalomaniageek on
  • DeciusDecius I'm old! I'm fat! I'M BLUE!Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    out of the mouths of babes, as they say

    Decius on
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    I never finish anyth
  • X Pr3dat0R XX Pr3dat0R X Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Decius wrote: »
    out of the mouths of babes, as they say

    Too easy

    X Pr3dat0R X on
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