NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited September 2009
@mustang: well, i don't post as much as I should, so it evens out
@legg: Thanks for some awesome insight. The original .wav does have a much clearer sound to it but the file was 68mb. I figured most people wouldn't want to download that but I'll more than gladly upload it to see if the compression alone is the problem.
On the mic set up: This is something I've struggled with since the begging. I have a Blue-USB snowball and... quite frankly, the thing records at a very quiet level. As nice as the objective sound quality is, i've never gotten a good balance of all the tones for my acoustic.
edit: I think for this recording, i had the mic about 2 inches below the 14th fret.
The timings are a little off here and there so I'm planning on re-recording this (tomorrow?) to get some of the more minor flaws fixed. There are some tempo changes that are intentional but I know there are a few mistakes that are not.
At the same token, I don't want the songs 100% perfect- I want the songs to sound live if that is at all possible. Its all about finding that balance I suppose.
Its 64 MB for one song, so only dl if you really want it
Oh, and as something of a joke, one of the guys in Armadeaddon, Noisymunk recorded some drums over solo picking http://www.mediafire.com/?ggzy1zyzym3
As described by Zac Matic:
ZacMatic: it starts off as a guitar piece
ZacMatic: and it's like, hey I'm a guitar... how's it going baby, you come here often, say what do you think---I AM DRUMS!
ZacMatic: DRUMMMMMMSSSSSSS
ZacMatic: and then drums blows its load and guitar comes back
ZacMatic: so sorry about that, he's gone now, lullaby goodnight!
But... the more I use it the less I like it. Its very quiet and doesn't pick up the bottom end up my guitars as well as I'd like. When I try to bump it up to listen-able levels, the sound starts to break...
However, for a USB mic, i'm not sure how it'd get too much better than the snowball
Riff is awesome especially when you add the fiddly bits in between the chords. Only issue with that is the timing gets out a little when you add those extra notes, might be worth adding them in on a separate track but the riff is great, could do with some cleaning up but sounds the goods.
chorus- timing is out a little to much in some areas and makes it hard on the ears. After the 1 minute mark you start to fall into more of a relaxed beat with the chorus and I think it shows. Few bum notes occasionally which don't belong to the backing chord groups but some parts are really good. Im sure you know which ideas work and which don't listening to it. Don't be afraid to repeat sometimes on your riff either. When improvising if you play something great you repeat it in the next two bars and then maybe again with a slight modification. Just remember to relax and chill on the timing with the chorus notes. Concentrate on the grove and let the notes happen when they do.
X-Factor
Nice. Once again could use some tidy up but the idea is there. I would probably suggest it might sound better on an acoustic rather than a steel string. the 1.41 to 1.52 mark sounds great. Pro stuff but then the triplets you start to add are a little out of time. Love the clapping the string noise though done right like you are adds not only depth to the tone but also adds the rhythm to your guitar solo
NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited October 2009
Thanks for the comments guys, I'll try to get a more detailed response in tomorrow (hopefully with a little update on the song re-jamming since I actually saved the tracks for once- right now I'm going to focus on my studies (midterms whooo!)
MustangArbiter of Unpopular OpinionsRegistered Userregular
edited October 2009
What scale were you playing that in? I'd suggest to build up an array of licks for when you're improvising, pentatonic scales are always a go-to scale for jamming for most guitarists.
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NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited October 2009
I was mostly using a couple variations of the pentatonic and a bit of the major scale (mostly when it i played the notes that didn't sound good)
I'd rather not build an array of go-to licks, but i definately need to be more aware of what I'm actually playing while i'm improving so It all sounds somewhat intentional and musical lol.
MustangArbiter of Unpopular OpinionsRegistered Userregular
edited October 2009
Well consider it, I've learnt about 3 solo's in my life and improvised the rest. You'be surprised how well a few licks can be tied together to sound like a purposeful melody.
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NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited October 2009
While i know what you mean, that sort of thing has always stood out to me, especially in guitar music. Joe Satrioni, for instance, has a little lick he loves to play and its in about 3/5 of his songs... it drives me crazy every time I hear it lol- I suppose I tend to go to far in the other direction... but really, re-jamming was just me goofing around over a song I really want to write lyrics for/sing over. Since I can't sing, i just jammed the whole time and... this was the result
MustangArbiter of Unpopular OpinionsRegistered Userregular
edited October 2009
My god! You just wait until Steve Vai and John Petrucci get here, then you'll be sorry. Don't think you won't be sorry.
But for the record, I know exactly what you mean. I deleted Joe off my ipod a few years ago for the same reason. I think he's a great guitarist, but redundant as fuck.
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NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited October 2009
Ha!
I've got admit, i'm not a huge fan of vai either (I like my music heavy) but Petrucci is pretty damn good: his solo in under a glass moon blows my mind.
That said, Im really inspired by Jeff Beck and Ty Tabor in my guitar playing-
I'm nowhere near as good as them... I should probably pay attention to why I like them so much and try to translate that into what i'm trying to do with music.
NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited October 2009
Ok, so a friend of mine is interested in me doing some music for his student film. There's apparently some "scary hallucinations" in it but they haven't been filmed/edited yet. While I'm waiting for that, I've just been trying to make something fitting.
I've got two sorta attempts, what do you guys think?
It's all one take (guitar and vox to get me used to doing that since... that's what I'll have to do live) the only thing dubed is one little melody line about 2 min in.
edit: I guess since MBD is kind of a unknown band, here's the original for comparison:
MustangArbiter of Unpopular OpinionsRegistered Userregular
edited October 2009
Just some notes while I was listening.
Uncomfortable timing during the chord changes on "and their heads tilted" and "and they might of froze"
Solo great, nice tone, meshes really well with the rythm.
Really pitchy and strained on the high notes, particularly at the end. It was almost like you stopped giving a shit and was thinking about scrapping the whole thing. Vocals are really hard, naturally I have a really fucking horrible voice and I really have to work on it to get into any kind of presentable condition (I still don't sing in front of people though). Next time, have a go at some vocal warm ups exercises before you try to recording.
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NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited October 2009
I've got to be honest, I don't know the first thing about singing- I sang in church for 10 years trying to match pitch with the singers, but they all sang about 2 octaves above me. That said, I know I have a tiny range and I'm not sure how to expand it- If anyone knows excercises for that, I'd be very grateful.
Also One of my friends said to try it lower and... that versions coming along ok, but I the chorus sounds awful since I'm going for notes i'm not used to singing in the song.
Thanks for the comments, I'll probably try to get a better version of this song up once I'm more used to singing it in "my" range.
MustangArbiter of Unpopular OpinionsRegistered Userregular
edited October 2009
Yeah, I have a totally weird (and small) range too. My voice works best about an octave above most male singers, so I am seriously cappo happy. I like singing, but boy do I suck at it, hence why I never sing in front of anyone.
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NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited October 2009
Just for the hell of it, here's the rough rough "oh god its pretty awful" version of me singing it much lower.
@Mustang: I know what you mean, I love singing, but knowing it sounds so awful has really kept me from even trying to get better these last few years. I'm going to try to improve it now, we'll see how it goes
I think this suffers from two problems which will sound like they shouldn't be coexisting in the same piece.
Firstly, phrase wise I'm hearing one internal phrase. Especially rhythmically. Like every single change happens at the exact same point. I mean, how many different rhythmic patterns do you have? 3?
The golden rule of repetition in music is never to repeat something exactly twice. Now I know what you're saying: "But Khavall, there are about a billion songs from a billion composers that repeat things exactly the same 50 times and are popular/in the common-practice western lexicon!" This is of course true. However, it is almost impossible to have stuff sound repetitious if you don't repeat stuff, very easy to avoid having stuff sound repetitious if you don't repeat stuff more than twice, and a lot harder to keep something new and interesting the third time around. It doesn't have to be drastic or even noticeable to someone who isn't listening for it, but over however long that was having only three textures and three rhythms and having every chord be exactly the same length is reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally stretching it.
And you can play with really simple stuff here too. What if , for instance, one chord pops out a beat before what's been established? What if one lasts a little longer than the measure? You don't need to go crazy with rhythms or anything, but a new chord every measure for every single chord, with two variations total in the piece inside a measure is.... well it's boring.
If I know what's going to happen in the music, if I can predict the music, then my impetus for listening to the music is gone. Especially in a world where I can open up a different piece of music at a single click and listen to something else, you need to make sure I have a reason for listening. Predictable equals Boring. Boring equals a lost listener.
Aaaand secondly, the transitions are like, super-sudden. You got me with them on the predictable angle. I couldn't see those transitions coming. But there's a difference between a cool plot twist that you didn't see coming but totally fits and is awesome and a plot twist that you didn't see coming, has no internal logic, and just feels out of place. As an example, District 9 would've been a pretty crappy movie if when Wilkus got in the power-suit, Megatron suddenly appeared and they had a giant robot fight.
It sounds like you're hinting at motion with them, the first one has the little kick right before it, and then at the end of the strummed section before you go back into just the single-note stuff, you have it sustain a little over with the last chord.... But it still feels a little out of place. The instinct to change things up is a good one and you should keep with it, but it needs to flow and have a reason for happening, not just suddenly leap out of the closet and yell "NEW SECTION"
Pacing in music is a really tough tightrope to walk. On the one hand, if everything is so planned and moves to obviously to a conclusion, or repeats too much, it's predictable and boring and the audience stops paying attention. If it is completely unpredictable and has absolutely zero self-reference or repetition, then the audience is disconnected and stops caring, and then stops paying attention.
I think you need to plot out and think through this piece a lot more. Figure how to get from point A to B, and figure out how to make those points interesting.
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MustangArbiter of Unpopular OpinionsRegistered Userregular
edited January 2010
Khavall makes some good points. I know compositionally your still finding your wayNapp, but it's good stuff to be thinking about early on. I for one enjoyed reading it and will try to take it on board whenever I get around to trying to write something.
and yes, the levels are a lot less harsh in that second version.
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NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited January 2010
@Khavall: I appreciate your in depth reply though I have to admit I am left scratching my head abit. One of the last songs I posted the may comment was that it wasn't focused enough (which... it may be though I personally don't think so. Though I figure that might be more of a "its my own song and I can't see its flaws" situation. ) In other words, I'm trying to find a middle ground right now and I definately appreciate your point about it being a tight rope to walk- its definately easier said than done
Secondly, the song isn't finished yet- its just the rhythm track- I plan to have a vocal part, a bit of harmonica (for an accordion like chord effect) and 2 more guitar parts in it. Now, I'm not sure if that really addresses your complaints fully, but I would like to think the finished product isn't going to be repetitive or boring. Now, if it still is those things, I'll agree, I definately have a problem.
Of course, if you think the rhythm track alone needs to be more interesting, I can work on that. It just sounds like your critiques are working as if this is a finished piece when it isn't anywhere close to being one.
I hope I haven't come across as some snobby, cocky, or an "I know what's right" type musician because I know I'm,still learning and that I've got a lot to learn as well. If you're critique is based on it being a rhythm track alone I'll definately work to fix the problems.
edit: if it helps, i think of what I'm doing now as sketching; trying ideas out to see what works, keeping those that do, tweaking those that don't, augmenting what is existing to change it for the better (hopefully) and all together filling out and making the song more intersting as it is built up. Then I'll re-record it again noting the errors or changes that need to be made and go on from there. I've no idea if this is the general recommended way to go, but it seems to be the only way I make actual progress on songs.
@Khavall: I appreciate your in depth reply though I have to admit I am left scratching my head abit. One of the last songs I posted the may comment was that it wasn't focused enough (which... it may be though I personally don't think so. Though I figure that might be more of a "its my own song and I can't see its flaws" situation. ) In other words, I'm trying to find a middle ground right now and I definately appreciate your point about it being a tight rope to walk- its definately easier said than done
Yeah there's a difference between focused and the same thing though. It's like I said in the second part... Suddenly having the music just not belong in the same family as the rest of the piece is a loss of focus, which is different than having the music just be the same thing constantly.
Secondly, the song isn't finished yet- its just the rhythm track- I plan to have a vocal part, a bit of harmonica (for an accordion like chord effect) and 2 more guitar parts in it. Now, I'm not sure if that really addresses your complaints fully, but I would like to think the finished product isn't going to be repetitive or boring. Now, if it still is those things, I'll agree, I definately have a problem.
Of course, if you think the rhythm track alone needs to be more interesting, I can work on that. It just sounds like your critiques are working as if this is a finished piece when it isn't anywhere close to being one.
Ok, essentially what you've said there is "Sure it's boring, but it's only one part that's boring. So it's fine"
That's really not something you should shoot for. I understand why you're thinking that, and again there are plenty of good songs with boring parts in them. But if every part is interesting(while still fitting together), then it'll be pretty damn hard for the finished product to be interesting.
And I'm not saying everything needs to be overly busy, but you're setting up a framework of sameness. You can put a billion stickers and spoilers and rims on a Honda Civic, and that's not going to make it a Corvette.
edit: if it helps, i think of what I'm doing now as sketching; trying ideas out to see what works, keeping those that do, tweaking those that don't, augmenting what is existing to change it for the better (hopefully) and all together filling out and making the song more intersting as it is built up. Then I'll re-record it again noting the errors or changes that need to be made and go on from there. I've no idea if this is the general recommended way to go, but it seems to be the only way I make actual progress on songs.
Sketching is good. I have literal sketchbooks full of music crap that I still have lying around... ideas that never panned out, ideas that slowly morphed up, all the work I do I do on paper in those books.
And yes, I am judging it as a finished project before it's finished. And yes, I'm noting problems possibly before they're problems, or partially when they're only in the proto-stage before they're fixed on their own.
It kind of sucks for you that I get to do that, doesn't it? I get to sit here and critique the shit out of things you'll totally work on that weren't really finished and were totally going to get better.
The reason I'm doing that is because there is never a point in composition or songwriting where "Yeah, I'll get to that" is a real excuse. Are you going to fix it? Do so.
If you feel that I'm wrong about something, or you like whatever it is that I'm critiquing then it's your song and you can say "No, I'm doing it this way" and that's totally fine. Or if you in general think I'm wrong then it's your music and you can say "fuck off" and that's fine.
I'm pointing out the shit that I think is wrong regardless of where in the process it is, because I think it'll be better if you change it. And I'm doing it early and harshly because there's really no reason not to fix it now, other than that it's a boring process to do so.
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NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited January 2010
Well, I slept on your comments and, listening to the song again, I can definately appreciate where you're coming from. While I wouldn't say I think its boring, it definately wouldn't hurt to make it more interesting and a little more streamlined. I'll work on fine tuning the rhythm track in my free time over the next couple days.
NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited January 2010
While working on some ideas for the song, i found a couple bits that didn't seem to fit what I already had but I liked them enough to not want to forget them-
So for this week I just have a cover lined up. It's not really /that/ creative but it has pushed me out of my comfort zone a bit. Mostly due to singing. I know I can sing it better, but with classes I didn't have time to perfect it. But, for something I more or less learned in 3 days between classes and studying, I think its pretty decent.
MustangArbiter of Unpopular OpinionsRegistered Userregular
edited January 2010
It's not bad Napp, but it lacks the urgency (for lack of a better word) that the Trio play it with. You feel languid and playing behind the beat. It might just be that you haven't practiced it enough yet.
Just a few questions out of interest: are you recording your vocal and guitar tracks seperately? and do you use a metronome?
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NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited January 2010
Thanks!
I didn't really try to fully emulate the JBT version of the song, but if you think it would be better with more energy I could certainly try to get a version like that out.
I recorded them at the same time, I feel like if I record them separately they lose the unifying element that playing them simultaneously brings. I can post some examples of bands/songs where its obvious the vocals were overdubbed for that exact reason.
However, Do you ask because the levels of the guitar/vox are unbalanced or because you think it would be better to two them separately because it would be easier to edit the songs I'd definately agree.
That said, my hope is to eventually play some songs live so I'm working on doing both to the best of my abilities. Recording at the same time helps me figure out how to do it better
Posts
@legg: Thanks for some awesome insight. The original .wav does have a much clearer sound to it but the file was 68mb. I figured most people wouldn't want to download that but I'll more than gladly upload it to see if the compression alone is the problem.
On the mic set up: This is something I've struggled with since the begging. I have a Blue-USB snowball and... quite frankly, the thing records at a very quiet level. As nice as the objective sound quality is, i've never gotten a good balance of all the tones for my acoustic.
edit: I think for this recording, i had the mic about 2 inches below the 14th fret.
The timings are a little off here and there so I'm planning on re-recording this (tomorrow?) to get some of the more minor flaws fixed. There are some tempo changes that are intentional but I know there are a few mistakes that are not.
At the same token, I don't want the songs 100% perfect- I want the songs to sound live if that is at all possible. Its all about finding that balance I suppose.
edit: for the hell of it, I uploaded the original .wav http://www.mediafire.com/?jonddeqzden
Its 64 MB for one song, so only dl if you really want it
Oh, and as something of a joke, one of the guys in Armadeaddon, Noisymunk recorded some drums over solo picking http://www.mediafire.com/?ggzy1zyzym3
As described by Zac Matic:
I enjoyed it so I thought I'd share it.
The first is just me goofing around, I'm sure i'd say its even "good" aside from the rhythm track. http://www.mediafire.com/?yv5ynzzgx4o
The second though, caught me in a moment of "this feels so right!"
http://www.mediafire.com/?mhibmmlanmj
I haven't added anything to it because... I don't know what to add. Any suggestions, comments, critiques you guys have would be awesome.
You get a really clean sound.
But... the more I use it the less I like it. Its very quiet and doesn't pick up the bottom end up my guitars as well as I'd like. When I try to bump it up to listen-able levels, the sound starts to break...
However, for a USB mic, i'm not sure how it'd get too much better than the snowball
Riff is awesome especially when you add the fiddly bits in between the chords. Only issue with that is the timing gets out a little when you add those extra notes, might be worth adding them in on a separate track but the riff is great, could do with some cleaning up but sounds the goods.
chorus- timing is out a little to much in some areas and makes it hard on the ears. After the 1 minute mark you start to fall into more of a relaxed beat with the chorus and I think it shows. Few bum notes occasionally which don't belong to the backing chord groups but some parts are really good. Im sure you know which ideas work and which don't listening to it. Don't be afraid to repeat sometimes on your riff either. When improvising if you play something great you repeat it in the next two bars and then maybe again with a slight modification. Just remember to relax and chill on the timing with the chorus notes. Concentrate on the grove and let the notes happen when they do.
X-Factor
Nice. Once again could use some tidy up but the idea is there. I would probably suggest it might sound better on an acoustic rather than a steel string. the 1.41 to 1.52 mark sounds great. Pro stuff but then the triplets you start to add are a little out of time. Love the clapping the string noise though done right like you are adds not only depth to the tone but also adds the rhythm to your guitar solo
might give you some inspiration
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cadbYIzhqQ
and my fav
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEfFbuT3I6A
These jams, they're jammin'
Also you might wanna try different hosting 'cause your old files are gone
Hmm, to be honest I'd concentrate more on the groove and less on the grove.
Rejamming gets out of time because the tracks are not synched with eachother- i didn't hear that until I put good headphones on...
edit: re-edited the track synch on re-jamming- exact same tracks before, but they should be properly aligned now.
http://www.mediafire.com/?kmmm0witnam
I'd rather not build an array of go-to licks, but i definately need to be more aware of what I'm actually playing while i'm improving so It all sounds somewhat intentional and musical lol.
I've got admit, i'm not a huge fan of vai either (I like my music heavy) but Petrucci is pretty damn good: his solo in under a glass moon blows my mind.
That said, Im really inspired by Jeff Beck and Ty Tabor in my guitar playing-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3y61-WSuwQ&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiFqwdPgJ40
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhBtKRsWYcU&feature=related
I'm nowhere near as good as them... I should probably pay attention to why I like them so much and try to translate that into what i'm trying to do with music.
I've got two sorta attempts, what do you guys think?
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?jiuoyidjyte
http://www.mediafire.com/?jvn4qbzrjke
It's Three Men Hanging (orginally by Murder by Death)
http://www.mediafire.com/?gdcitzdctmf
It's all one take (guitar and vox to get me used to doing that since... that's what I'll have to do live) the only thing dubed is one little melody line about 2 min in.
edit: I guess since MBD is kind of a unknown band, here's the original for comparison:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAF2Lq8eRGA
Uncomfortable timing during the chord changes on "and their heads tilted" and "and they might of froze"
Solo great, nice tone, meshes really well with the rythm.
Really pitchy and strained on the high notes, particularly at the end. It was almost like you stopped giving a shit and was thinking about scrapping the whole thing. Vocals are really hard, naturally I have a really fucking horrible voice and I really have to work on it to get into any kind of presentable condition (I still don't sing in front of people though). Next time, have a go at some vocal warm ups exercises before you try to recording.
Also One of my friends said to try it lower and... that versions coming along ok, but I the chorus sounds awful since I'm going for notes i'm not used to singing in the song.
Thanks for the comments, I'll probably try to get a better version of this song up once I'm more used to singing it in "my" range.
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?yq0iyevzzwz
@Mustang: I know what you mean, I love singing, but knowing it sounds so awful has really kept me from even trying to get better these last few years. I'm going to try to improve it now, we'll see how it goes
http://www.mediafire.com/?jymzqn5n2zb
Small recap:
Oh snap I've been found out!
Well, the mix isn't the problem so much as the mic placement. I try another take tonight and see if I can get it worked out.
http://www.mediafire.com/?fmgotlhmmwm
I think this suffers from two problems which will sound like they shouldn't be coexisting in the same piece.
Firstly, phrase wise I'm hearing one internal phrase. Especially rhythmically. Like every single change happens at the exact same point. I mean, how many different rhythmic patterns do you have? 3?
The golden rule of repetition in music is never to repeat something exactly twice. Now I know what you're saying: "But Khavall, there are about a billion songs from a billion composers that repeat things exactly the same 50 times and are popular/in the common-practice western lexicon!" This is of course true. However, it is almost impossible to have stuff sound repetitious if you don't repeat stuff, very easy to avoid having stuff sound repetitious if you don't repeat stuff more than twice, and a lot harder to keep something new and interesting the third time around. It doesn't have to be drastic or even noticeable to someone who isn't listening for it, but over however long that was having only three textures and three rhythms and having every chord be exactly the same length is reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally stretching it.
And you can play with really simple stuff here too. What if , for instance, one chord pops out a beat before what's been established? What if one lasts a little longer than the measure? You don't need to go crazy with rhythms or anything, but a new chord every measure for every single chord, with two variations total in the piece inside a measure is.... well it's boring.
If I know what's going to happen in the music, if I can predict the music, then my impetus for listening to the music is gone. Especially in a world where I can open up a different piece of music at a single click and listen to something else, you need to make sure I have a reason for listening. Predictable equals Boring. Boring equals a lost listener.
Aaaand secondly, the transitions are like, super-sudden. You got me with them on the predictable angle. I couldn't see those transitions coming. But there's a difference between a cool plot twist that you didn't see coming but totally fits and is awesome and a plot twist that you didn't see coming, has no internal logic, and just feels out of place. As an example, District 9 would've been a pretty crappy movie if when Wilkus got in the power-suit, Megatron suddenly appeared and they had a giant robot fight.
It sounds like you're hinting at motion with them, the first one has the little kick right before it, and then at the end of the strummed section before you go back into just the single-note stuff, you have it sustain a little over with the last chord.... But it still feels a little out of place. The instinct to change things up is a good one and you should keep with it, but it needs to flow and have a reason for happening, not just suddenly leap out of the closet and yell "NEW SECTION"
Pacing in music is a really tough tightrope to walk. On the one hand, if everything is so planned and moves to obviously to a conclusion, or repeats too much, it's predictable and boring and the audience stops paying attention. If it is completely unpredictable and has absolutely zero self-reference or repetition, then the audience is disconnected and stops caring, and then stops paying attention.
I think you need to plot out and think through this piece a lot more. Figure how to get from point A to B, and figure out how to make those points interesting.
and yes, the levels are a lot less harsh in that second version.
Secondly, the song isn't finished yet- its just the rhythm track- I plan to have a vocal part, a bit of harmonica (for an accordion like chord effect) and 2 more guitar parts in it. Now, I'm not sure if that really addresses your complaints fully, but I would like to think the finished product isn't going to be repetitive or boring. Now, if it still is those things, I'll agree, I definately have a problem.
Of course, if you think the rhythm track alone needs to be more interesting, I can work on that. It just sounds like your critiques are working as if this is a finished piece when it isn't anywhere close to being one.
I hope I haven't come across as some snobby, cocky, or an "I know what's right" type musician because I know I'm,still learning and that I've got a lot to learn as well. If you're critique is based on it being a rhythm track alone I'll definately work to fix the problems.
edit: if it helps, i think of what I'm doing now as sketching; trying ideas out to see what works, keeping those that do, tweaking those that don't, augmenting what is existing to change it for the better (hopefully) and all together filling out and making the song more intersting as it is built up. Then I'll re-record it again noting the errors or changes that need to be made and go on from there. I've no idea if this is the general recommended way to go, but it seems to be the only way I make actual progress on songs.
Ok, essentially what you've said there is "Sure it's boring, but it's only one part that's boring. So it's fine"
That's really not something you should shoot for. I understand why you're thinking that, and again there are plenty of good songs with boring parts in them. But if every part is interesting(while still fitting together), then it'll be pretty damn hard for the finished product to be interesting.
And I'm not saying everything needs to be overly busy, but you're setting up a framework of sameness. You can put a billion stickers and spoilers and rims on a Honda Civic, and that's not going to make it a Corvette.
Sketching is good. I have literal sketchbooks full of music crap that I still have lying around... ideas that never panned out, ideas that slowly morphed up, all the work I do I do on paper in those books.
And yes, I am judging it as a finished project before it's finished. And yes, I'm noting problems possibly before they're problems, or partially when they're only in the proto-stage before they're fixed on their own.
It kind of sucks for you that I get to do that, doesn't it? I get to sit here and critique the shit out of things you'll totally work on that weren't really finished and were totally going to get better.
The reason I'm doing that is because there is never a point in composition or songwriting where "Yeah, I'll get to that" is a real excuse. Are you going to fix it? Do so.
If you feel that I'm wrong about something, or you like whatever it is that I'm critiquing then it's your song and you can say "No, I'm doing it this way" and that's totally fine. Or if you in general think I'm wrong then it's your music and you can say "fuck off" and that's fine.
I'm pointing out the shit that I think is wrong regardless of where in the process it is, because I think it'll be better if you change it. And I'm doing it early and harshly because there's really no reason not to fix it now, other than that it's a boring process to do so.
So, here they are.
http://www.mediafire.com/file/nwzmjmylgj3/Resolution 3.mp3
I think i have a good balance going on this song so far, what do you guys thing?
http://www.mediafire.com/?ohcvqmjkdzy
Any tips, thoughts or suggestions are totally welcome, though I'll be gone until tomorrow so the earliest I'll reply back is Sunday Afternoon.
Tomorrow though, there'll be an mp3 for you.
(out of curiosity, did you try to play the file with VLC media player? FLAC works in that for me...)
http://www.mediafire.com/?ajuznnwmg05
Just a few questions out of interest: are you recording your vocal and guitar tracks seperately? and do you use a metronome?
I didn't really try to fully emulate the JBT version of the song, but if you think it would be better with more energy I could certainly try to get a version like that out.
I recorded them at the same time, I feel like if I record them separately they lose the unifying element that playing them simultaneously brings. I can post some examples of bands/songs where its obvious the vocals were overdubbed for that exact reason.
However, Do you ask because the levels of the guitar/vox are unbalanced or because you think it would be better to two them separately because it would be easier to edit the songs I'd definately agree.
That said, my hope is to eventually play some songs live so I'm working on doing both to the best of my abilities. Recording at the same time helps me figure out how to do it better