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It's a Thread About Flatulence

13

Posts

  • StarfuckStarfuck Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2007
    it works

    Starfuck on
    jackfaces
    "If you're going to play tiddly winks, play it with man hole covers."
    - John McCallum
  • CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    potatoe wrote: »
    potatoe wrote: »
    You ever shit, then they wonder how exactly that all fit in you?

    i had a shit last week that convinced me i could be a wonderful gay man...that thing was like 10 inches long and oh so thick

    Yes, but poo can conform to the curvy tunnel that is your intestine. A wang usually can't.

    i had trouble breakin' this beast up with the coat hanger though

    he was a resilient bastard

    Fecal abortion?

    Critical on
    edesig.jpg
  • Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    so apparently a skull man is someone who is crazy or has sex a lot


    I just thought it was my favorite robot master

    Skull Man on
  • ScrumtrulescentScrumtrulescent Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    potatoe wrote: »
    potatoe wrote: »
    You ever shit, then they wonder how exactly that all fit in you?

    i had a shit last week that convinced me i could be a wonderful gay man...that thing was like 10 inches long and oh so thick

    Yes, but poo can conform to the curvy tunnel that is your intestine. A wang usually can't.

    i had trouble breakin' this beast up with the coat hanger though

    he was a resilient bastard

    Fecal abortion?

    haha

    coat hanger up the butt

    Scrumtrulescent on
  • Sub StandardSub Standard Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I just farted, so I felt obligated to post in this thread.

    Edit: I just let another one go. The sequel was a lot better than the original.

    Sub Standard on
    Panda1.jpg
  • Wrench N RocketsWrench N Rockets Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    potatoe wrote: »
    Butters wrote: »
    potatoe wrote: »
    fuck i looked up potatoe on wikipedia

    :cry:

    edit: and by wikipedia i mean urbandictionary

    Butters is short for butterface! D:

    3. potatoe

    a fat asss who is ugly and stupid

    Potatoe is a fat ass

    Wrench
    A sexual act performed by too gay men. This sexual act is like a 69er but it involves both men licking each others ring piece.

    N
    And

    Rockets

    In the poker variant of Texas Hold 'em, Rockets refers to having two aces as your hole cards. This is usually seen as the holy grail of hold 'em hands and wins a very large majority of the time. Yet, seen by many neophytes as a terrible hand because 'they always get drawn out'. Chances you receive aces as your hole cards are .45%

    Sounds like a good night out.

    Wrench N Rockets on
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  • GABBO GABBO GABBOGABBO GABBO GABBO Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    DAYUM GIRL YOU GOT SOME MANIFEST IN THOSE JEANS

    GABBO GABBO GABBO on
  • SnackAttackSnackAttack Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    When I was put on Vicodin after breaking my wrist I didn't shit for three days. On the end of that third day I let out a shit so mighty, so mind bogglingly epic, I spent a good hour on the can. Despite my tactfully placed mercy flushes, when the time came to give the final flush before wiping could commence, the toilet clogged. I spent like 10 minutes fighting that son of a bitch with the plunger before it went down. That was the worst shitting experience in my life.

    SnackAttack on
  • TyrantCowTyrantCow Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    When I was put on Vicodin after breaking my wrist I didn't shit for three days. On the end of that third day I let out a shit so mighty, so mind bogglingly epic, I spent a good hour on the can. Despite my tactfully placed mercy flushes, when the time came to give the final flush before wiping could commence, the toilet clogged. I spent like 10 minutes fighting that son of a bitch with the plunger before it went down. That was the worst shitting experience in my life.

    Thanks.

    TyrantCow on
  • GABBO GABBO GABBOGABBO GABBO GABBO Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    When I was put on Vicodin after breaking my wrist I didn't shit for three days. On the end of that third day I let out a shit so mighty, so mind bogglingly epic, I spent a good hour on the can. Despite my tactfully placed mercy flushes, when the time came to give the final flush before wiping could commence, the toilet clogged. I spent like 10 minutes fighting that son of a bitch with the plunger before it went down. That was the worst shitting experience in my life.

    Dayum, that post got some manifest goin on.

    GABBO GABBO GABBO on
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    that won't work, manifest

    i won't spread your lies

    mrpaku on
  • Wrench N RocketsWrench N Rockets Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    He's in love with his own name now.

    Wrench N Rockets on
    sig_lambo.jpg
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    WnR is a potatoe

    potatoe on
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    When I was put on Vicodin after breaking my wrist I didn't shit for three days. On the end of that third day I let out a shit so mighty, so mind bogglingly epic, I spent a good hour on the can. Despite my tactfully placed mercy flushes, when the time came to give the final flush before wiping could commence, the toilet clogged. I spent like 10 minutes fighting that son of a bitch with the plunger before it went down. That was the worst shitting experience in my life.

    Was it your first time to have vicodin?

    Cause all I'll ever be able to get out when I've taken vicodin, tramadol, or percosets are little nuggets. Best just to man up and have some citrucel or metamucil around just for that.

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Wrench N RocketsWrench N Rockets Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Your manifest is huge you fatty.

    Wrench N Rockets on
    sig_lambo.jpg
  • SnackAttackSnackAttack Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    When I was put on Vicodin after breaking my wrist I didn't shit for three days. On the end of that third day I let out a shit so mighty, so mind bogglingly epic, I spent a good hour on the can. Despite my tactfully placed mercy flushes, when the time came to give the final flush before wiping could commence, the toilet clogged. I spent like 10 minutes fighting that son of a bitch with the plunger before it went down. That was the worst shitting experience in my life.

    Was it your first time to have vicodin?

    Cause all I'll ever be able to get out when I've taken vicodin, tramadol, or percosets are little nuggets. Best just to man up and have some citrucel or metamucil around just for that.

    Yeah, that was actually. Unfortunately I wasn't warned of what effects it would have on my clockwork like shitting until it was far too late.

    SnackAttack on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    1. graves 6 up, 3 down

    every time you get up from your seat you must call out, or declare graves, otherwise your seat is free game. however, you may not have graves on multiple seats, and once you sit somewhere else your graves on the previos seat is voided.


    uhhhhhh yeah so thats interesting...but to keep on the farting topic, I hate when you fart and it BLASTS out and it hurts from the sheer force of the release.

    Graves on
  • SnackAttackSnackAttack Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Graves wrote: »
    1. graves 6 up, 3 down

    every time you get up from your seat you must call out, or declare graves, otherwise your seat is free game. however, you may not have graves on multiple seats, and once you sit somewhere else your graves on the previos seat is voided.


    uhhhhhh yeah so thats interesting...but to keep on the farting topic, I hate when you fart and it BLASTS out and it hurts from the sheer force of the release.

    Have you ever sneezed while holding back a fart? That shit can get painful.

    SnackAttack on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    word

    Graves on
  • CalebrosCalebros a k a TimesNewPwnin Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    ever sneeze and hiccup at the same time?

    holy FUCK that hurts

    air leaving your mouth at 100 mph and at the same time air is getting sucked in

    they kinda meet in the middle of your throat and expand

    when it happened to me, i periodically spat in the sink to make sure nothing was bleeding

    Calebros on
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I've farted during sex.

    Sometimes I get away with it, sometimes I don't.

    The bad thing is if the girl farts during sex.

    That can be a real moodbreaker.

    Mainly because it's hard to stop laughing afterwards.

    Pkmoutl on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    let alone when they fart in your face during sex

    that sticks in your mind for a while

    potatoe on
  • CerriusCerrius Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I get some strong farts sometimes, like rotten egg, something crawled up my ass and died farts. If its in public, i'll let it fly and keep walking.

    Cerrius on
    [SIGPIC]image.php?type=sigpic&userid=5578&dateline=1219903129[/SIGPIC]
  • CalebrosCalebros a k a TimesNewPwnin Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    mine tend to smell like beef jerky or mold when it gets really really bad

    don't know what my ass does to produce such odors

    but i want it to stop

    Calebros on
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    One time, I had a really big one brewing.

    We were sitting around a table at my friend's house playing a game of some kind.

    So I leaned forward to move my armies or whatever the fuck it was and to squeeze off a round.

    And I blew off a huge, bubbling serving of diahrreah right up my back.

    And no one noticed for some reason.

    Pkmoutl on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    pk

    that is disgustingly hilarious

    potatoe on
  • CerriusCerrius Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Because you're sitting at a table full of guys who see this as a challenge as to who can shit themselves the loudest now?

    Thats how alot of our Battletech games descented to was a farting contest.

    Cerrius on
    [SIGPIC]image.php?type=sigpic&userid=5578&dateline=1219903129[/SIGPIC]
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    One time I was staying over a friend's house, but I had just had Taco Bell. (uh-oh)

    So I managed to hold it off until the middl of the night, and then when everyone was asleep I let it rip.

    The smell woke up everyone in the house, so of course i feigned sleep and then pretended it was the baby.

    Graves on
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    What made it worse was the fact that I had to drive one of them home that night.

    So I drove ten miles

    With shit-filled pants

    And a brown racing stripe up my back.

    I took an hour-and-a-half long shower when I got home and threw the clothes in the garbage.

    Pkmoutl on
  • CalebrosCalebros a k a TimesNewPwnin Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    no one fuckin noticed that?

    Calebros on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    When I was in Kindergarten I shat my pants and sat in it until recess, just playin it off all cool-like, then the teachers noticed that I was waddling uncomfortably towards the playground, and I had to put on those spare clothes at the nurses office D:

    Graves on
  • CalebrosCalebros a k a TimesNewPwnin Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    oh man i had to do that once

    i have one of those somewhat wet farts and mentioned it to someone and they tattled and i had to go to the nurse and put on those stupid spare pants

    Calebros on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    fucking tattlers. I remember in nursery school this kid was like "Stick up your middle finger" "why?" "just do it and I'll tell you" *finger* "TEACHER!!!!" then for like 5 fuckin minutes I was in the goddamn corner for time out, and I had no idea what the hell just happened.

    Graves on
  • SephSeph Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    i hate when you sneeze when your pissing its like

    ssssssschooPEEEEE OWWWWW MY DICK

    SNNEEZE NO NOT AGA OWWWWWW

    Seph on
    doit.png
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Calebros wrote: »
    no one fuckin noticed that?

    Well, the one guy lived with two kids under the age of 5, and the other....well, let's just say that he was much better suited to play Watson.

    EDIT: So I eventually told both of them, and the one guy said, "Dude, I have two kids. I haven't smelled air that isn't tainted by fecal matter in four years."

    The other one said, "Oh. Well, I thought you were kind of edgy and driving a little fast that night when you dropped me off."

    Pkmoutl on
  • CalebrosCalebros a k a TimesNewPwnin Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Seph wrote: »
    i hate when you sneeze when your pissing its like

    ssssssschooPEEEEE OWWWWW MY DICK

    SNNEEZE NO NOT AGA OWWWWWW

    you gotta brace for that turbulance

    mentally prepare before you actually sneeze so you don't go sprayin everywhere

    Calebros on
  • KotakiKotaki __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2007
    Kotaki.

    Kotaki on
    ktkikh1.gif
  • SephSeph Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Calebros wrote: »
    Seph wrote: »
    i hate when you sneeze when your pissing its like

    ssssssschooPEEEEE OWWWWW MY DICK

    SNNEEZE NO NOT AGA OWWWWWW

    you gotta brace for that turbulance

    mentally prepare before you actually sneeze so you don't go sprayin everywhere

    yeah but i am allergic to pine tree pollen and right now everything outside is coated in yellow dust. so I sneeze in groups of 3 or 4 and after the second pee sneeze it's hard to brace yourself. You're in a state of chaos peein', sneezin' can't see, trying to recover and trying to remain pee focused but the third and fourth sneeze plunge you into a pee crazed spray of chaos and pain

    Seph on
    doit.png
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    sit down

    Graves on
  • CalebrosCalebros a k a TimesNewPwnin Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    its not like you plan on sneezing before you start pissin, duder

    and once you start and then you feel the sneeze come on you don't really have time to stop the flow and switch positions and let go before you start sneezing

    also seph the picture that post paints for me is tickles me so much i think im siggin that

    Calebros on
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