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How is that even food?

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Posts

  • OhtsamOhtsam Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Yeah, nothing really beats the Texas State Fair in terms of excess. Things I saw (and ate many of):

    - Corn-battered Shrimp (like corndogs, but with seafood)
    - deep fried PB&J
    - deep fried peach
    - deep fried butter (wtf?)
    - Jamaican jerk turkey legs
    - foot-long corndogs
    - deep fried smores
    - deep fried bacon
    - deep fried candy bars
    - BBQ spring rolls
    - candied pork


    The best thing at the Texas State fair though is deep-fried cookie dough.
    It was the most incredibly rich dessert I had ever eaten.
    I know no one that was able to eat more than one.

    Also fried butter while the process of making it is cool its essentially a breaded roll where melted butter permeates every part of the roll. Damn good with jelly though.

    Ohtsam on
  • DeciusDecius Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I'm at a loss as to the subtleties of American culinary...traditions. How the fuck do you deep fry a Pepsi or Coke?

    What's next, deep fried Cocaine with roasted Ecstasy pills as toppings?

    Decius on
    camo_sig2.png
    I never finish anyth
  • CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Decius wrote: »
    I'm at a loss as to the subtleties of American culinary...traditions. How the fuck do you deep fry a Pepsi or Coke?

    What's next, deep fried Cocaine with roasted Ecstasy pills as toppings?

    That doesn't sound that bad.
    famous%20bowl.jpg
    tumblr_koow3381ET1qzvnxpo1_400.jpg

    Couscous on
  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against the Irish) Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Decius wrote: »
    I'm at a loss as to the subtleties of American culinary...traditions. How the fuck do you deep fry a Pepsi or Coke?
    Seriously, I want to know.

    Gabriel_Pitt on
  • JihadJesusJihadJesus Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    See, this thread is +1 in the 'reasons why I can't believe in the Biblical God' column. It Soddom got the holy wrath treatment for a little bit of sex, this level of gluttony while others are starving should be grounds for an instant deity ordered nuking.

    JihadJesus on
  • Toxic ToysToxic Toys Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Octoparrot wrote: »
    Toxic Toys wrote: »
    Damn. I may have to go to the fair this year just for lizard on a stick.

    Please, for me, scream out "BOB'S IGUANA-ON-A-STICK IS PEOPLE"

    I so will now. :)
    Decius wrote: »
    What's next, deep fried Cocaine with roasted Ecstasy pills as toppings?

    I could only wish.

    Toxic Toys on
    3DS code: 2938-6074-2306, Nintendo Network ID: ToxicToys, PSN: zutto
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Decius wrote: »
    I'm at a loss as to the subtleties of American culinary...traditions. How the fuck do you deep fry a Pepsi or Coke?
    Seriously, I want to know.

    You make a batter, something like doughnut batter, and you pour the coke/pepsi syrup that they use for the soda fountains into the batter. Fry it up then top if off with whip cream, more coke syrup, chocolate, whatever.

    TheStig on
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    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStigCFN: Stiggles
  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Couscous wrote: »
    Decius wrote: »
    I'm at a loss as to the subtleties of American culinary...traditions. How the fuck do you deep fry a Pepsi or Coke?

    What's next, deep fried Cocaine with roasted Ecstasy pills as toppings?

    [/IMG]
    tumblr_koow3381ET1qzvnxpo1_400.jpg
    That looks like it could be good.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
  • CycloneRangerCycloneRanger Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Decius wrote: »
    I'm at a loss as to the subtleties of American culinary...traditions. How the fuck do you deep fry a Pepsi or Coke?

    What's next, deep fried Cocaine with roasted Ecstasy pills as toppings?
    I wouldn't call these "traditions" except inasmuch as it's traditional for state fairs to try to one-up each other with even more ridiculous shit.

    Regarding how it's made, though, I had to consult Wikipedia:
    Wikipedia wrote:
    Fried Coke is frozen Coca-Cola-flavored batter which is deep-fried and then topped with Coca-Cola syrup, whipped cream, cinnamon sugar, and a cherry. It was introduced by inventor Abel Gonzales, Jr., at the 2006 State Fair of Texas, where it won the title of "Most Creative" in the second annual judged competition among food vendors.

    CycloneRanger on
  • iglidanteiglidante Registered User
    edited October 2009
    Decius wrote: »
    What's next, deep fried Cocaine with roasted Ecstasy pills as toppings?

    At this very moment, this is the funniest thing I've ever read.

    But seriously, can someone explain to me how the whole "frying Coke" thing works? It's a drink. As in liquid. Do they freeze it first? Or mix it with batter? I don't understand. I'm picturing a frozen hunk of soda that's dipped in batter and fried, after which someone bites the end off it and "drinks" the inside.

    iglidante on
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2009
    Decius wrote: »
    I'm at a loss as to the subtleties of American culinary...traditions. How the fuck do you deep fry a Pepsi or Coke?

    What's next, deep fried Cocaine with roasted Ecstasy pills as toppings?
    I wouldn't call these "traditions" except inasmuch as it's traditional for state fairs to try to one-up each other with even more ridiculous shit.

    Regarding how it's made, though, I had to consult Wikipedia:
    Wikipedia wrote:
    Fried Coke is frozen Coca-Cola-flavored batter which is deep-fried and then topped with Coca-Cola syrup, whipped cream, cinnamon sugar, and a cherry. It was introduced by inventor Abel Gonzales, Jr., at the 2006 State Fair of Texas, where it won the title of "Most Creative" in the second annual judged competition among food vendors.

    That's just beer batter with soda! How the fuck is that creative?

    Also, the worst is actually a tradition dish. I forget what it's called, but it is literally fried fat.

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • ButtcleftButtcleft Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Now I want some damn frog legs.

    Damn this thread.

    Buttcleft on
    that's it, I'm shutting this entire forum down, everyone thank buttcleft
  • Page-Page- Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    It does sound like the easiest job ever, designing these foods.

    Step 1 -- A common household object, preferably food, but whatever.
    Step 2 -- Batter it.
    Step 2a -- Optional: Cover with cheese, chocolate, or bacon.
    Step 2b -- Optional: Put it on a stick.
    Step 3 -- Deep fry.
    Step 4 -- Cover with sugar, salt, cheese, bacon, gravy, or chocolate.

    Repeat steps 2-4 as needed.

    Serve with cheese, chocolate syrup, gravy, whipped cream, or powdered sugar.

    Bon appetit.

    Page- on
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  • ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Page- wrote: »
    It does sound like the easiest job ever, designing these foods.

    Step 1 -- A common household object, preferably food, but whatever.
    Step 2 -- Batter it.
    Step 2a -- Optional: Cover with cheese, chocolate, or bacon.
    Step 2b -- Optional: Put it on a stick.
    Step 3 -- Deep fry.
    Step 4 -- Cover with sugar, salt, cheese, bacon, gravy, or chocolate.

    Repeat steps 2-4 as needed.

    Serve with cheese, chocolate syrup, gravy, whipped cream, or powdered sugar.

    Bon appetit.

    that is really how it goes

    i am waiting for a new internet show to appear

    "will it taste good fried" in the vein of "will it blend"

    batter and fry literally ANYTHING

    Arch on
  • SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I'd never heard of 'balut' before in my life.

    I hate you people.

    Incidentally, isn't an unfertilized egg--or maybe just the yolk--a single cell? Like a giant fucking bacterium? That is delicious?

    Synthesis on
    Orca wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote:
    Isn't "Your sarcasm makes me wet," the highest compliment an Abh can pay a human?

    Only if said Abh is a member of the nobility.
  • RustRust __BANNED USERS
    edited October 2009
    Synthesis wrote: »
    I'd never heard of 'balut' before in my life.

    I hate you people.

    Incidentally, isn't an unfertilized egg--or maybe just the yolk--a single cell? Like a giant fucking bacterium? That is delicious?

    pffffahahaha

    you think that's bad

    how about the one where you take a live baby bird

    feed it until it is too fat to move

    drown it in fine wine

    and then pop it into your mouth and kee-runch

    people who ate this dish would put a cloth over their heads, to "hide their faces from god"

    Rust on
  • iglidanteiglidante Registered User
    edited October 2009
    How about deep-fried hard-boiled eggs wrapped in bacon and filled with cheese?

    Hell, let's take this all the way to the top: A Twinkie, dipped in chocolate, wrapped in bacon, batter-dipped, and deep fried. Dip it in chocolate again, add more batter, fry again, and roll in powdered sugar. Serve with melted butter. We can call it "fat fingers."

    iglidante on
  • RustRust __BANNED USERS
    edited October 2009
    iglidante wrote: »
    How about deep-fried hard-boiled eggs wrapped in bacon and filled with cheese?

    Hell, let's take this all the way to the top: A Twinkie, dipped in chocolate, wrapped in bacon, batter-dipped, and deep fried. Dip it in chocolate again, add more batter, fry again, and roll in powdered sugar. Serve with melted butter. We can call it "fat fingers."

    fascinating

    i call it "revolting beyond all reason"

    i don't even think food would have flavor after being subjected to that

    Rust on
  • SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Rust wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote: »
    I'd never heard of 'balut' before in my life.

    I hate you people.

    Incidentally, isn't an unfertilized egg--or maybe just the yolk--a single cell? Like a giant fucking bacterium? That is delicious?

    pffffahahaha

    you think that's bad

    how about the one where you take a live baby bird

    feed it until it is too fat to move

    drown it in fine wine

    and then pop it into your mouth and kee-runch

    people who ate this dish would put a cloth over their heads, to "hide their faces from god"

    Serves them right for eating it frankly.

    Not the "feeding something until it's too fat to move". That's just wasteful and inefficient. That whole "drown it in fine wine" stuff is bullshit though. They are bad, and should feel bad.

    It sounds disgusting, but I can't say that with any sort of authority.

    Synthesis on
    Orca wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote:
    Isn't "Your sarcasm makes me wet," the highest compliment an Abh can pay a human?

    Only if said Abh is a member of the nobility.
  • ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    iglidante wrote: »
    How about deep-fried hard-boiled eggs wrapped in bacon and filled with cheese?

    Hell, let's take this all the way to the top: A Twinkie, dipped in chocolate, wrapped in bacon, batter-dipped, and deep fried. Dip it in chocolate again, add more batter, fry again, and roll in powdered sugar. Serve with melted butter. We can call it "fat fingers."

    is that last thing real

    or did you just invent it

    Arch on
  • CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Has anybody fried sugar yet?

    Couscous on
  • ButtcleftButtcleft Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    iglidante wrote: »
    How about deep-fried hard-boiled eggs wrapped in bacon and filled with cheese?

    Hell, let's take this all the way to the top: A Twinkie, dipped in chocolate, wrapped in bacon, batter-dipped, and deep fried. Dip it in chocolate again, add more batter, fry again, and roll in powdered sugar. Serve with melted butter. We can call it "fat fingers."

    coming to the your supermarket freezer next fall

    Buttcleft on
    that's it, I'm shutting this entire forum down, everyone thank buttcleft
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2009
    Couscous wrote: »
    Has anybody fried sugar yet?

    The powder would fall apart, so you'd have to make a giant crystal or leave brown sugar out on a muggy day or something. Sugar cane might work.

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Scalfin wrote: »
    Couscous wrote: »
    Has anybody fried sugar yet?

    The powder would fall apart, so you'd have to make a giant crystal or leave brown sugar out on a muggy day or something. Sugar cane might work.

    I think frying pepsi syrup is close enough

    Arch on
  • iglidanteiglidante Registered User
    edited October 2009
    Arch wrote: »
    iglidante wrote: »
    How about deep-fried hard-boiled eggs wrapped in bacon and filled with cheese?

    Hell, let's take this all the way to the top: A Twinkie, dipped in chocolate, wrapped in bacon, batter-dipped, and deep fried. Dip it in chocolate again, add more batter, fry again, and roll in powdered sugar. Serve with melted butter. We can call it "fat fingers."

    is that last thing real

    or did you just invent it

    Off the top of my head. I hope it isn't real.

    On a side note, this is revolting:
    tumblr_kriqd6HJ6x1qzvnxpo1_500.jpg

    A burger topped with a cup of peanut butter and a giant dollop of mayo.

    iglidante on
  • SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    For some reason, my eyes were immediately drawn to the fries.

    "Oh, those look fine, maybe a little bland but EEEEWWWWWW WHO THE HELL PUTS ICE CREAM ON A BURGER?"

    (Incidentally, I'm going to go patent "Ice Cream Burger" and become rich. Assuming I'm not too late.)

    Synthesis on
    Orca wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote:
    Isn't "Your sarcasm makes me wet," the highest compliment an Abh can pay a human?

    Only if said Abh is a member of the nobility.
  • iglidanteiglidante Registered User
    edited October 2009
    Ice cream would be a hell of a lot better than peanut butter and mayonnaise. Seriously - what the fuck.

    iglidante on
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Heard about this on conservative radio:Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    For all the terrible stuff we eat, carnivals and fairs should start deep-frying American stomachs next year.

    emnmnme on
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Heard about this on conservative radio:Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    iglidante wrote: »
    Ice cream would be a hell of a lot better than peanut butter and mayonnaise. Seriously - what the fuck.

    Like always, I blame the Dutch.

    emnmnme on
  • ButtcleftButtcleft Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    emnmnme wrote: »
    For all the terrible stuff we eat, carnivals and fairs should start deep-frying American stomachs next year.

    How abou deep fried haggis?

    Buttcleft on
    that's it, I'm shutting this entire forum down, everyone thank buttcleft
  • iglidanteiglidante Registered User
    edited October 2009
    emnmnme wrote: »
    For all the terrible stuff we eat, carnivals and fairs should start deep-frying American stomachs next year.

    That reminds me - the sight alone of tripe makes me want to vomit. And the vinegar. I picked up a package to shake at my wife once as a joke, and came away smelling like...ugh.

    iglidante on
  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Peanut butter on a burger works shockingly well.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
  • Page-Page- Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Man, tripe ain't so bad. I mean, it's not great, and I don't understand why I go to a Pho shack and have to pay extra for it, but I've had much worse.

    Page- on
    Competitive Gaming and Writing Blog Updated in October: "Song (and Story) of the Day"
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  • iglidanteiglidante Registered User
    edited October 2009
    Peanut butter on a burger works shockingly well.

    You're kidding. What does it taste like? Is there anything else to compare it to?

    And I've never actually eaten tripe, so I can't really talk. It just looks...shudder-worthy.

    iglidante on
  • RustRust __BANNED USERS
    edited October 2009
    Synthesis wrote: »
    Rust wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote: »
    I'd never heard of 'balut' before in my life.

    I hate you people.

    Incidentally, isn't an unfertilized egg--or maybe just the yolk--a single cell? Like a giant fucking bacterium? That is delicious?

    pffffahahaha

    you think that's bad

    how about the one where you take a live baby bird

    feed it until it is too fat to move

    drown it in fine wine

    and then pop it into your mouth and kee-runch

    people who ate this dish would put a cloth over their heads, to "hide their faces from god"

    Serves them right for eating it frankly.

    Not the "feeding something until it's too fat to move". That's just wasteful and inefficient. That whole "drown it in fine wine" stuff is bullshit though. They are bad, and should feel bad.

    It sounds disgusting, but I can't say that with any sort of authority.

    one gourmet said the taste of blood in your mouth as the bones cut it up provided the final orgasmic touch of flavor

    yeah it's basically more decadent than a court of ten-toothed ancient greeks

    Rust on
  • Captain CarrotCaptain Carrot Alexandria, VARegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    iglidante wrote: »
    Arch wrote: »
    iglidante wrote: »
    How about deep-fried hard-boiled eggs wrapped in bacon and filled with cheese?

    Hell, let's take this all the way to the top: A Twinkie, dipped in chocolate, wrapped in bacon, batter-dipped, and deep fried. Dip it in chocolate again, add more batter, fry again, and roll in powdered sugar. Serve with melted butter. We can call it "fat fingers."

    is that last thing real

    or did you just invent it

    Off the top of my head. I hope it isn't real.

    On a side note, this is revolting:
    tumblr_kriqd6HJ6x1qzvnxpo1_500.jpg

    A burger topped with a cup of peanut butter and a giant dollop of mayo.
    At first I thought that was mashed potatoes and gravy. Which could probably be pretty good.

    Captain Carrot on
  • iglidanteiglidante Registered User
    edited October 2009
    Rust wrote: »
    one gourmet said the taste of blood in your mouth as the bones cut it up provided the final orgasmic touch of flavor

    We're talking about raw baby birds, right? I think blood would be about all you'd taste. That's fucking disgusting. I love a rare steak, but I don't want drowned raw baby birds.

    iglidante on
  • Robos A Go GoRobos A Go Go Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Gourmet? I think you misspelled villainous ogre.

    Robos A Go Go on
  • RustRust __BANNED USERS
    edited October 2009
    Gourmet? I think you misspelled villainous ogre.

    he had to excuse himself after that statement to step outside and laugh maniacally for ten minutes

    Rust on
  • BigBearBigBear If your life had a face, I would punch it. Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Buttcleft wrote: »
    iglidante wrote: »
    How about deep-fried hard-boiled eggs wrapped in bacon and filled with cheese?

    Hell, let's take this all the way to the top: A Twinkie, dipped in chocolate, wrapped in bacon, batter-dipped, and deep fried. Dip it in chocolate again, add more batter, fry again, and roll in powdered sugar. Serve with melted butter. We can call it "fat fingers."

    coming to the your supermarket freezer next fall

    "Take a whole hot dog, stuff it up with jack cheese, roll it in a pizza, you got cheeezy blaasters!":whistle:

    BigBear on
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