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Crazy Girlfriend/Boyfriend Stories

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Posts

  • NamrokNamrok Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Man.... the Awesome SO thread needs to come back. This one is just depressing :P

    Hilarious, and amusing, but depressing none the less.

    Me too actually!

    I think you have to pay your crazy dues before you get something decent. Otherwise you just don't appreciate what you have.

    Namrok on
  • Raiden333Raiden333 Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I don't think I posted this here before because I don't like to remember it, but it came up in the Rape Culture thread and definitely belongs.
    Raiden333 wrote: »
    Even women can get fucked up by rape culture. I realize this story is pure anecdotal, but it had a serious effect on me.

    I briefly went out with this girl in high school. She was constantly dropping sexual innuendo and teasing me about the things she wanted to do, though we were both virgins. We made out quite a few times but didn't exactly have a time/location to get naked, with snooping parents and all. Eventually I get paid to house-sit for a friend for a weekend. Awesome, house to myself, so I invite this girl to come over and spend the night with me. She excitedly accepts. Condoms are purchased.

    We have a fun night that ends with the two of us in bed. I just finished giving her oral, she's naked and all I have left on are my boxers. I start taking them off and she stops me and climbs on top of me, and grinds on me. I enjoy that for a bit but I'm a little bit anxious to move on to what we were excited about.

    She stops me and says no. "What?" "I'm uncomfortable." "Oh... uh... Okay. Can I at least get a handjob or something to finish me off?" "No, I don't want to."

    This while she continues grinding on me and doing interesting things to my neck in between words. So, a little frustrated at my newfound blue balls, I tell her fine, that I'm going to go downstairs and sleep on the couch so that I can finish myself off without making her uncomfortable. The next morning she's all pissed off at me and we break up soon after.

    I thought that I pushed too hard and didn't notice she was uncomfortable and I just didn't notice until it was time to actually have sex and she put her foot down. I felt like an asshole.

    Then, when we start talking to each other again, I find out that she actually wanted to fuck that night. She just thought that it was her role as a girl to say no, and my role as a guy to take her, and I should have known by what she was doing that she wanted me to. She said that "if I wanted to get laid I had to learn how to be a man, like [her] new boyfriend."

    Yeah, then we promptly stopped talking again.

    Raiden333 on
    There was a steam sig here. It's gone now.
  • Santa ClaustrophobiaSanta Claustrophobia Ho Ho Ho Disconnecting from Xbox LIVERegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    That story seems familiar and I don't recall a Rape Culture thread. Have you told it before?

    And that's pretty fucked up right there. My condolences, for what they're worth.

    Santa Claustrophobia on
  • pinenut_canarypinenut_canary Registered User
    edited October 2009
    The Rape Culture thread is only about a day old and is on the first page right now.

    My ex-girlfriend and I made out a lot, and we talked about having sex, and about how she didn't want to lose her virginity before marriage. We both had differing views, but I respected her and loved her, so I didn't push her to having sex. We talked about it again, and she said she felt really bad that she couldn't please me sexually even though she didn't want to have sex, so I mentioned oral sex and hand jobs.

    She thought about it and decided to try giving a hand job, but when she did it, she had the most disgusted and "I really don't want to do this" look on her face that I lost my erection immediately and we ended up just watching Love, Actually (for the 5th fucking time).

    pinenut_canary on
  • AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    @ Raiden: Wow.... That's... that's pretty awful.

    I think it warrants this video to be posted again.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=za7jQ1s1BV0


    Edit: Also, I have another story featuring my ex. Well, you all know he broke up with me several months ago. I'm all over it, it's fine and dandy, and for me everything is fantastic!
    Well, I get a message from him on facebook telling me, in great detail,
    why he broke up with me
    -he felt obligated to stay with me because I found him a place to stay, a job, and a car. (so, he stayed with me out of feeling obligated? awweesommmee)
    -He's in the military and he felt like I should be 'freed' from that so I can have my own career. (Thanks for letting me make my own choices! )
    -He was looking at other women (so? Look all you want. Just don't get all over 'em and we'll be good!)
    -He thinks he's a shitty person and I don't deserve him (Spot on there, ol' chap)
    -and then goes into a tirade about how I'M a shitty person for getting over him so fast.

    who he's currently fucking
    -A 16 year old girl. On a dock. By a lake. Many times. (he's 21 by the way. gross)
    He also decided to tell me how much nicer her body, and everything in general, is than mine. Awesome? Glad to hear it.

    and why I suck as a person in general.
    -apparently being forgetful makes me a bad person. Hooray!

    Ah well. Reading all of that blew my mind cause it's amazing how he'd go out of his way to try and make me miserable. And fail at it....horribly :P

    AlyceInWonderland on
  • Santa ClaustrophobiaSanta Claustrophobia Ho Ho Ho Disconnecting from Xbox LIVERegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    That's why the story seems familiar...

    Santa Claustrophobia on
  • pinenut_canarypinenut_canary Registered User
    edited October 2009
    I love Louis CK. I watched his bit on how much he hates deer in the middle of linguistics class today.

    pinenut_canary on
  • Raiden333Raiden333 Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Yeah, I don't know if the Louis CK routine makes me feel better or worse.

    On one hand, I'm not the only one who's gone through it.

    On the other, there's more than one crazy girl in the world who believes this.

    Raiden333 on
    There was a steam sig here. It's gone now.
  • iglidanteiglidante Registered User
    edited October 2009
    who he's currently fucking
    -A 16 year old girl. On a dock. By a lake. Many times. (he's 21 by the way. gross)
    He also decided to tell me how much nicer her body, and everything in general, is than mine. Awesome? Glad to hear it.

    Classy guy. What I wonder, though, is how long he's going to stay on the dock by the lake. Fucking the underage girl. It sounds like he lives there. In which case, well, hopefully he gets hit by lightning. Multiple times. On the dick.

    iglidante on
  • cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Ugh. Why do guys feel the need to do that? Guess he just can't stand how happy you are with the new guy (not to mention he'd probably be blown away by all the weight you've lost).

    And to wash away the nastiness of the "rape culture" thing, my wife said I managed to truly impress her when we had just started dating when she said no and I actually listened. "No" doesn't have to be permanent, after all. Actually, being as sensual/attentive as possible within what she's comfortable with can be part of the fun.

    cloudeagle on
    Switch: 3947-4890-9293
  • NamrokNamrok Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    It's not just guys that send the random ass "I hate you being happy" message. I got a random ass txt from my ex of 4 months ago. Probably the most hateful bitter thing I've seen in a long time. We all had a good laugh over it. Including my fantastic new girlfriend. You have to wonder if these people realize they are not only failing to get the sort of response out of you they want, but that they are making fools of themselves at the same time.

    But I guess if they were that rational, they wouldn't have been a crazy ex in the first place.

    Namrok on
  • Captain UltraCaptain Ultra low resolution pictures of birds Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I only had one serious girlfriend, and she was actually pretty cool, and I still feel bad about dumping her, even though its been a year and a half since we broke up. But, one of the earlier stories reminded me of her, so I decided to post it up.

    She comes from a very religious family. Which I came to expect, given that we went to a Catholic School, and most people were very Catholic at that school. Her family tree was probably more Catholic than most. Like her dad is the youngest of 9, and her family was a family of 4. (and since they were the 'liberal' ones, they were the smallest of the 8 branches. She had like 42 cousins when I started dating her, and I think 44, maybe 45 by the time we broke up.). Her cousin, whom I knew pretty well, just dropped out of college to go to Seminary. You get it, her family is very Catholic.

    Now, one Friday, her parents and brothers and sisters go to Omaha to see one of their cousins have their first communion. She stays behind because we had a debate team meeting that weekend (That's how we met, debate team). I get off work, and go over to her house. (I brought a lot of condoms, because as GOB Bluth once said, "That one gets pregnant, she stays pregnant.")

    Well, I find out there that she's not a virgin. Fine by me. I was, but by the end of the night, I wasn't. She apparently slept with a guy at the State Debate Tournament, a year before we started dating. We do it, and I notice that she's not really into it. Not that I expected to be Casanova, but she looks really disappointed. Like that that was not what she was expecting. I ask for y'know, pointers for my technique. She says that I was being too gentle.

    Now, she may have had more experience than me, but she also lived a pretty sheltered life, in regards to pop culture, and I knew a lot of stuff from locker room talk, tv, etc that she just did not know. So when we go for the next round, I explain to her the concept of a safe word, because frankly, there's no way I was going to go too rough on the girl. She was like 5'0 and I'm not good at guessing weights but I knew she was too little to donate blood. So, I was going to take a lot of precautions if I was going to try being rougher.

    We decided on 'Blasphemy' as our safe word. I thought about pitching "Madness" instead, but I'm not sure I could have resisted kicking her. I don't think she's ever seen 300, because she seemed perplexed about me giggling when she suggested it.

    tl;dr: I incorporated a lame internet meme into my first foray into making love.

    Captain Ultra on
  • DalbozDalboz Resident Puppy Eater Right behind you...Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Okay, so I ask people not to judge me before I finish this story, because the end reveals all.

    I was dating a girl for a short time, and while we did care for each other on an undetermined level (that's a story in itself), it was mostly a sexual relationship.

    The first time we had sex, she started biting me. Okay, I'm usually not into that kind of thing, but it wasn't bothering me and I figured I'd just let her have her fun there. So, I'm on top, and she starts biting me, then she starts biting me harder. It's starting to bug me a bit, so I tell her to stop. She doesn't stop, and continues biting me harder. It's really bothering me now, because it's hurting, and not a good hurt. So I tell her again to stop. She doesn't, and starts to bite me really hard.

    "Hey!" *SLAP*

    Yes, I finally had to slap her to get her to stop. I'd never and have never since slapped a girl. Now, it wasn't a hard slap, because I didn't want to hurt her, but I made sure it would at least sting a little to get her off me (even though I was on top). Kind of like delivering a nonsexual spanking, where you want it to sting a little and get the point across that you're upset, but not in a way that actually causes any damage. Of course, she looks at me startled at first, but there was something in her eyes...

    "You were actually trying to get me to slap you, weren't you?"

    "Yeah..."

    That was a very strange relationship.

    Dalboz on
  • adytumadytum Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    ...

    adytum on
  • OrganichuOrganichu jacobkosh Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I just realized that though I posted this in the S&E thread I don't think I've put it here. Heeee.

    I was in Israel and I hooked up with this Muslim chick- in full dress, but clearly not very observant. About four hours later- naked- we came to the realization that as drunk as we both were, we couldn't communicate well. My Arabic was shoddy, her Hebrew was shoddy. We settled on Hebrew, and at one point she asked me- or at least it sounded like she asked me- "do you want to squirt all over me?" In my drunken delirium, I'm like "shit yeah, madam".

    She suddenly rips into my chest with her nails.

    After about five minutes of rapid sobering and me shouting, on the brink of drop kicking her, I figure out she was asking me whether I want to squirt my blood all over her.

    Freaked the everloving shit out of me, but yes I finished after I explained I didn't want to do that.

    Organichu on
  • syndalissyndalis Getting Classy On the WallRegistered User, Loves Apple Products regular
    edited October 2009
    O_O

    Wow, I never met a girl who wanted a red shower before. That's new.

    syndalis on
    SW-4158-3990-6116
    Let's play Mario Kart or something...
  • GungHoGungHo Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    who he's currently fucking
    -A 16 year old girl. On a dock. By a lake. Many times. (he's 21 by the way. gross)
    He also decided to tell me how much nicer her body, and everything in general, is than mine. Awesome? Glad to hear it.
    Turn it over to the cops and/or his CO. Last laugh will be yours.

    GungHo on
  • Forbe!Forbe! Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    When I was younger, I had just gotten out of highschool and had been going to a community college for a few months now. Most of my good friends had left town to attend four year universities, and what was left were, oddly enough, most of the girls from the group. They all had boyfriends (except for one) all of which were good friends of mine, so we all grew pretty close. We would all hang out and have a great time, then out of no where one of my buddies, who talked to the single girl regularly, kind of alluded to her being interested in me. I was shocked, but pursued it. We went on a few dates, the last of which we went to see a movie, and made out quite vigorously afterwards. I asked if she wanted to go get some coffee, but she insisted she had to go back to her aunts house (where she was living) because her aunt wasn't feeling well.

    I was excited about the relationship, probably the first one I had been involved in since highschool. I called her every day for a few days after the movie theater. At first she would answer and we would talk briefly, make plans that she would later break, and then she just stopped answering my calls. I saw her in person maybe...five days after our last 'date', and asked her what was going on with us. She said "Well, I'm really interested in you, but I'm busy with school..blah blah blah".

    The next day, one of the other girls told me in passing, not knowing what had happened between me and the girl over the past week, what the she had really been doing. She went out with some other guy, probably 45 minutes after she left the movie theater, and hooked up with him.

    She found out that I knew, and said something to the lines of "Everyone thinks im a whore for it, blah blah blah", trying to get some sympathy from me, I simply agreed with her. About a month later, I started seeing a new girl, and we started dating. The floozie met up with the new girl at their college, and the floozie was trying to tell her how much of an asshole I was, and how I called her a whore to everyone, and how she should dump me.


    We just celebrated our fourth anniversary.

    Forbe! on
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  • BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    GungHo wrote: »
    who he's currently fucking
    -A 16 year old girl. On a dock. By a lake. Many times. (he's 21 by the way. gross)
    He also decided to tell me how much nicer her body, and everything in general, is than mine. Awesome? Glad to hear it.
    Turn it over to the cops and/or his CO. Last laugh will be yours.

    yeah, that is what i would do, and not even completely out of being vindictive. he is publicly announcing he is having sex with an underage girl. publicly. underage girl.

    i mean, gross. i am 21, and my little brother is 16, i cannot even imagine being intimate with anyone his age, his friends are around all the time, and i simply cannot see them as anything other than little kids, and the thought of an adult taking advantage of anyone their age makes me sick.

    Belruel on
    vmn6rftb232b.png
  • AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    iglidante wrote: »
    who he's currently fucking
    -A 16 year old girl. On a dock. By a lake. Many times. (he's 21 by the way. gross)
    He also decided to tell me how much nicer her body, and everything in general, is than mine. Awesome? Glad to hear it.

    Classy guy. What I wonder, though, is how long he's going to stay on the dock by the lake. Fucking the underage girl. It sounds like he lives there. In which case, well, hopefully he gets hit by lightning. Multiple times. On the dick.


    Eh, I couldn't possibly care at this point what happens to his dick. Though I wouldn't mind if it was struck by lightening.

    He's just really trying to rub in the fact that he's having sex all the time now. When him and I were dating, he pretty much refused to have sex with me unless it was convenient for him. So now he's sending me messages stating "There's just something about her that makes me want to [ D: gross D:] all the time!" and stating exactly how she is in bed (In--on...dock?)

    AlyceInWonderland on
  • iglidanteiglidante Registered User
    edited October 2009
    iglidante wrote: »
    who he's currently fucking
    -A 16 year old girl. On a dock. By a lake. Many times. (he's 21 by the way. gross)
    He also decided to tell me how much nicer her body, and everything in general, is than mine. Awesome? Glad to hear it.

    Classy guy. What I wonder, though, is how long he's going to stay on the dock by the lake. Fucking the underage girl. It sounds like he lives there. In which case, well, hopefully he gets hit by lightning. Multiple times. On the dick.


    Eh, I couldn't possibly care at this point what happens to his dick. Though I wouldn't mind if it was struck by lightening.

    He's just really trying to rub in the fact that he's having sex all the time now. When him and I were dating, he pretty much refused to have sex with me unless it was convenient for him. So now he's sending me messages stating "There's just something about her that makes me want to [ D: gross D:] all the time!" and stating exactly how she is in bed (In--on...dock?)

    That guy is an asshole, plain and simple. Seriously.

    iglidante on
  • SipexSipex Registered User
    edited October 2009
    There are so many things you could do to screw him over and they'd all be really tempting to me if I were in your position.

    That said, best option probably is to ignore it.

    Sipex on
  • PotatoNinjaPotatoNinja Fake Gamer Goat Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Sipex wrote: »
    There are so many things you could do to screw him over and they'd all be really tempting to me if I were in your position.

    That said, best option probably is to ignore it.

    He's a 21 year old man sending an ex-girlfriend explicit (and arguably harassing) messages about his sexual desires and exploits with a 16 year old.

    Yeah, no, this guy is really smart, like "maybe I should just pour some gasoline on this fire to douse it?" smart.

    PotatoNinja on
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  • JustinSane07JustinSane07 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2009
    16 is the age of consent in New York. So he's not doing anything illegal.

    A bit scummy, yeah, but not illegal.

    JustinSane07 on
  • geckahngeckahn Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    16 is the age of consent in New York. So he's not doing anything illegal.

    A bit scummy, yeah, but not illegal.

    That's not true. It's 17, or within 3 years.

    geckahn on
  • PotatoNinjaPotatoNinja Fake Gamer Goat Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Even if you're 21? Huh, guess I'm used to more conservative midwestern laws regarding age of consent. PSA "The more you know!" rainbow etc. etc.

    PotatoNinja on
    Two goats enter, one car leaves
  • NamrokNamrok Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    geckahn wrote: »
    16 is the age of consent in New York. So he's not doing anything illegal.

    A bit scummy, yeah, but not illegal.

    That's not true. It's 17, or within 3 years.

    In that case, I hope the ex enjoys getting what he's giving.

    And by that I mean prison rape.

    Lots and lots of prison rape.

    Namrok on
  • JustinSane07JustinSane07 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2009
    I thought it was 16 in New York state? I know it's 16 in Mass. I'm 25, I could bang a high school sophmore and skip away scott free.

    JustinSane07 on
  • AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    16 is the age of consent in New York. So he's not doing anything illegal.

    A bit scummy, yeah, but not illegal.

    Actually, it's 17

    AlyceInWonderland on
  • The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I thought it was 16 in New York state? I know it's 16 in Mass. I'm 25, I could bang a high school sophmore and skip away scott free.

    I really don't think that's how the law is written.

    It' usually 18, with a provision that if both parties are minors within a reasonable range and of a minimum age, then it's legal.

    IANAL, though.

    The Crowing One on
    3rddocbottom.jpg
  • saint2esaint2e Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Another vote for bringing back the "Awesome SO" thread. As fun as this thread is for shock and awe value, it makes my heart to be happy to read the other thread for "Awww" value.

    saint2e on
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  • ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    saint2e wrote: »
    Another vote for bringing back the "Awesome SO" thread. As fun as this thread is for shock and awe value, it makes my heart to be happy to read the other thread for "Awww" value.

    12 pages of forumer relationships later....

    what i am saying is alyce/spawnbroker and rad/quid will make everyone mad

    my fiancee needs to forum she is way nerdy enough

    Arch on
  • a5ehrena5ehren AtlantaRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    saint2e wrote: »
    Another vote for bringing back the "Awesome SO" thread. As fun as this thread is for shock and awe value, it makes my heart to be happy to read the other thread for "Awww" value.

    The Awesome SO thread is really boring and stupid. It just makes everyone else feel bad about themselves.

    a5ehren on
  • saint2esaint2e Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Well then... Aren't I just the biggest jerk now...

    saint2e on
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  • a5ehrena5ehren AtlantaRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    saint2e wrote: »
    Well then... Aren't I just the biggest jerk now...

    :P

    a5ehren on
  • BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    haha if it makes you feel bad about yourself, go out and meet some people.

    i always hated people making me feel as though i shouldn't be free to tout my happiness just because they aren't getting any.

    Belruel on
    vmn6rftb232b.png
  • AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Belruel wrote: »
    haha if it makes you feel bad about yourself, go out and meet some people.

    i always hated people making me feel as though i shouldn't be free to tout my happiness just because they aren't getting any.

    Your title and location <3

    AlyceInWonderland on
  • SheepSheep Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2009
    Forbe! wrote: »
    She found out that I knew, and said something to the lines of "Everyone thinks im a whore for it, blah blah blah", trying to get some sympathy from me,

    Had the exact same experience. Proper response, IMO, is always "Well if you don't want to be branded a whore then you might want to start making non whore-like choices."

    Sheep on
  • UnderdogUnderdog Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Belruel wrote: »
    haha if it makes you feel bad about yourself, go out and meet some people.

    i always hated people making me feel as though i shouldn't be free to tout my happiness just because they aren't getting any.

    I've never had anything close to relationship happiness but I usually enjoy reading or hearing about other couples being happy.

    Underdog on
  • civil_disobediencecivil_disobedience Registered User
    edited October 2009
    When I was 19 I lived with my crazy ex, who was obsessed with her dog. I actually is quite funny to think bak on now but not so much then. I remember wanting to go out every so often and she would freak and yell about leaving her dog alone. She never would kick the dog out of the bed and almost every other night I ended up mushed against the wall or moved out onto the couch. Well once when I did go out, while my g/f was at work, she came back to find the dog had ripped apart the house. When I cam back she yelled at me, said it was my fault because I had emotional abandoned the dog, which I never understood what that even meant.

    Well that relationship did not last much longer. It sucked at the time, but I learned a lot, and now I have a shit load of funny ass stories from it.

    civil_disobedience on
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