As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
Options
If we discover alien society...who do we send?
mxmarks
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So I was watching (without sound) clips from the new ABC show "V" and all the sudden I had a really interesting thought.
For those who are totally unaware of "V", it's a show where aliens suddenly reveal themselves to Earth, and say that they're friendly and we should all hang out. Obviously, they're lying, but that's not the point of this. From the clips I was watching I noticed the one attractive woman was the spokesperson of the aliens. She was doing the TV interviews, she was the giant face on the spaceship -- she was our first look at alien life.
And it made me think -- that's a huge deal. Now, I know (and if you'd like to know, you can look it up...) that on the show, she's not exactly what she seems, but this isn't a discussion about the show. Let's say these aliens DO look humanoid. How did they settle on the hot chick? Do they put that to the vote? Is she the leader, and they're just lucky they have a hot leader? What would humans think if the leader looked like former baseball player Otis Nixon, and his giant face was looking down at us from the sky? What if it was someone who looked like Janet Reno? What if it was the traditional grey looking alien?
Obviously humans were much more welcoming of the aliens because she was hot. She looked like us, and was attractive, so everything was cool. I'd be willing to be if she looked like a grey alien we would have shot her out of the sky instantly.
So this is what has led me to my question. It's not about how we'd react to different looking aliens - it's about what WE would do.
Let's say we've discovered a planet like Earth, with all these people living on it. These aliens look close enough to human that we could blend right in. We're going to say "hello" for the very first time, as Earth. Not the United States. Not England. Not China. But as Earth we've all decided to open dialogue and try to make this new planet - that is totally unaware of us - our friends.
Who do we send to give the first impression? What factors into that decision?
For those who are totally unaware of "V", it's a show where aliens suddenly reveal themselves to Earth, and say that they're friendly and we should all hang out. Obviously, they're lying, but that's not the point of this. From the clips I was watching I noticed the one attractive woman was the spokesperson of the aliens. She was doing the TV interviews, she was the giant face on the spaceship -- she was our first look at alien life.
And it made me think -- that's a huge deal. Now, I know (and if you'd like to know, you can look it up...) that on the show, she's not exactly what she seems, but this isn't a discussion about the show. Let's say these aliens DO look humanoid. How did they settle on the hot chick? Do they put that to the vote? Is she the leader, and they're just lucky they have a hot leader? What would humans think if the leader looked like former baseball player Otis Nixon, and his giant face was looking down at us from the sky? What if it was someone who looked like Janet Reno? What if it was the traditional grey looking alien?
Obviously humans were much more welcoming of the aliens because she was hot. She looked like us, and was attractive, so everything was cool. I'd be willing to be if she looked like a grey alien we would have shot her out of the sky instantly.
So this is what has led me to my question. It's not about how we'd react to different looking aliens - it's about what WE would do.
Let's say we've discovered a planet like Earth, with all these people living on it. These aliens look close enough to human that we could blend right in. We're going to say "hello" for the very first time, as Earth. Not the United States. Not England. Not China. But as Earth we've all decided to open dialogue and try to make this new planet - that is totally unaware of us - our friends.
Who do we send to give the first impression? What factors into that decision?
PSN: mxmarks - WiiU: mxmarks - twitter: @ MikesPS4 - twitch.tv/mxmarks - "Yes, mxmarks is the King of Queens" - Unbreakable Vow
mxmarks on
0
Posts
As in, someone from the continent of Asia.
No, I'm not saying that because I happen to be Asian. We could send an Indian person too. But demographically speaking...
Seriously though, it would have the very best diplomat on the planet, though I have no idea who that would be.
(and by got i mean i would tell them to blow everyone up and not bother, then i'd nail an alien chick)
On principle. Just to spite religious assholes. That one guy at the table, suggesting we don't contact them at all because they might not believe in God. I wanted to reach across the tv and choke the fucker.
You'd have to send Patrick Stewart with him, just to keep him from getting us all blown to hell by acting like he's Kirk.
"What, she looked hot? I've been with alien chicks before."
"That was a character you played! For gods sake, man!"
My vote goes to Morgan Freeman.
That's actually a pretty good choice.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
An actor is probably a poor choice.
Humans will inevitably eat alien creatures someday, if we don't blow ourselves up.
Consider that many people of any given ethnicity have a hard time telling members of other ethnic groups apart. Consider further that crows can tell individual humans apart but we can't tell individual crows apart. It's so improbable that aliens would even be able to tell one of us from another without extraneous cues that judging on aesthetics is ridiculous. Send a team composed of the world's best negotiator, linguist, mathematician, biologist, anthropologist, and astrophysicist. That should pretty much cover the bases.
It isn't even a question really.
That was a movie... you know that was a movie, right?
But seeing how he's already 91 and won't be around forever, my second choice would be Morgan Freeman impersonating Nelson Mandela.
And a poet.
Oh, I'm sure he does.
Fundamentalist Asshole: For all we know, Mr. Advisor, we're not even aware if they believe in God or not.
Me to the TV screen: I wish I could hate you to death.
There are 40,000 reasons not to contact aliens. That is possibly the worst, and definitely one of the bottom ten.
If a planet of aliens has never met an earthling, and the first thing they see is an image of James Carville's face, they will, without a doubt, nuke the entire planet.
Unless the planets inhabitants actually look like the typical grey aliens, because then we'd have to send him. He's the only one who already would look like them.
Show em who's boss
I was going to say Morgan Freeman!
Interbreeding.
Gary Fuckin' Busey.
I thought we wanted them to like us.
Man, after a few rails and some shots, everyone will be getting along great.
I considered putting some sort of artist on the list, but for a first contact scenario I honestly don't see the point. Aliens are unlikely to even perceive the universe in the same subset of any of the various spectra we do. If they have hearing it's likely to be effective over a different register of frequencies. If they have vision it probably won't be the visible spectrum as we consider it. If we are able to achieve contextual, linguistic communication at all rather than communicating purely via mathematical logic statements I cannot imagine a case where, at first meeting, either side will be capable of appreciating the poetry of the other. Their music or visual arts may be aesthetically pleasing but they're just as likely to be completely meaningless. Consider a painting done by an artist whose visual range overlaps with yours only for 20% of the visual spectrum and whose vision is a composite formed by three eyes with prismatic rather than focal lenses. It would look like a red (or blue) mess. Consider a poem written by a person with linguistic aphasia who speaks a language you've never heard but with the auditory register of a bat. Honestly, what use would a poet serve?