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Evigilant · March 2007

New to this part of the forum. Figured I might try and get a few critiques here and there.

I'm making a war comic. Though it's not the typical "yay war for good reasons" or your kiddy comic war, I want to put lots of violence, gore, sex and rather "Grey" areas, with lots of chaos into it.

So some quick concept work:
http://evi.kuiki.net/Art/Comic/concept.jpg

http://evi.kuiki.net/Art/Comic/panel.jpg

I need to fix the empty space and fill it with something. I'm thinking perhaps shots of a sweaty finger on the trigger, shots of a cigarette burning to denote the stress and fatigue. Maybe a close up shot of tired eyes or something. My issue here is denoting movement of the background figures and filling the empty space with meaningful or relevant images.
http://evi.kuiki.net/Art/Comic/panel2.jpg

Basically the same problem here, too much empty space. It's a good thing these are just concept panels.
http://evi.kuiki.net/Art/Comic/ss1_1.jpg

And an uncompleted storyboard
http://evi.kuiki.net/Art/Comic/stybrd_1.jpg

I eventually want the comic to look like this unfinished drawing, only you know...finished:

And then completely random stuff.
30min doodle after playing some AC4

http://evi.kuiki.net/Art/Misc/doodle19.jpg
Something I gave up on
http://evi.kuiki.net/Art/Misc/Gift/k_wip2.jpg

And to finish it all, my mascot showing how it's bad to drink and ride a bike:

Novus · March 2007

21 hours and no replies? That's not right. I'm hardly the best person to be offering advice (my own work isn't very good at all) so take what I say with a grain of salt.

I really like your linework for the most part (at first glance it almost looks like you traced it) you could use a little more linewidth variation on your outlines. The hands and feet seem a little off in most of your sketches. In the sketch of the soldier holding the rifle the right hand looks like it's a little too small and the fingers on the left hand are too long. I like what you've done with the layouts though of course they're incomplete so it's hard to get an idea of what the finished page will look like; you should do a rough mock up of a page layout to get a better idea (including things like speech bubles, font etc...). I really like the sketch of the rifleman (sniper?) on the roof aiming into the street; i think you're right about putting something into the empty space, maybe a shot of what he's looking at through the scope (cliche as it may be...). From what I've seen you have really nice clean lines and good detailing; I'd like to see what a finished page would look like.

Evigilant · March 2007

Novus wrote: »

21 hours and no replies? That's not right. I'm hardly the best person to be offering advice (my own work isn't very good at all) so take what I say with a grain of salt.

I really like your linework for the most part (at first glance it almost looks like you traced it) you could use a little more linewidth variation on your outlines.

My problem is in understanding line width variation. I mean I get the basic notion about it, it's just implementing the whole thing where I fail. Like, should I put more emphasis in the shadow and highlights only, or do I also put wider lines to contrast from the background? Because I don't know how to properly accomplish it, I just keep sketchy thin lines for the most part.

Oh, and thanks for the suggestions, I'll keep them in mind when I go and redraw these.

earthwormadam · March 2007

I always point this out, so I guess I might as well do it agian. I know it helped me very much.

Lot O good line variation tips.

Evigilant · April 2007

I need to practice more on line width variation, but here's a shot at it..of course though, the coloring is making me pull out my hair.

So here's some work in progress: (NSFW)
http://evi.kuiki.net/Art/Misc/Gift/sora_aoi_wip1.jpg
http://evi.kuiki.net/Art/Misc/Gift/sora_aoi_wip2.jpg
http://evi.kuiki.net/Art/Misc/Gift/sora_aoi_wip.jpg

Novus · April 2007

First off you really should label those NSFW. As for the lines; particularely in the last one they are reall thick, different schools of thought may have different opinions but imo when it comes to outlines they should be as thin as possible. maybe add some weight on undersides or shadowed areas for emphasis but otherwise less is more. The left leg seems a little small as well but other than that they look pretty good.

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