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Dress for success! or don't?

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Posts

  • RobmanRobman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I'm not really saying that you have Asperger's if you don't dress to match an event, but it's worth noting that similar behaviours are diagnostic of mental illness.

    Robman on
  • ronzoronzo Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Khavall wrote: »
    ronzo wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »

    Yes, there are formal churches where people wear their Sunday Best. There are also more informal churches that are more guided discussion groups then what we view as "church".

    so theres no middle ground between the two, aka a "church" where wearing your Sunday Best isn't require, but is a actual service and not a "guided discussion"?

    edit: did you really just suggest that someone might have Asperger's because they do not conform to your idea of what is appropriate to wear to a church?

    Did you actually get that from his post? did you just not read it and post something stupid for the hell of it?

    He said there are formal churches. There are also informal churches. Nowhere in that does that say that there aren't other types, but that there are those two. I know that "also" seems like it excludes something but actually it doesn't! It's adding to something, without taking away the possibility of a lack of other things! Amazing, I know.

    Aaaaand he suggested that someone might have Asperger's if they can't conform to society standards because they can't relate to other members of society.

    i read it as him saying that all informal church's were just guided discussion groups. I get that 'also' means he wasn't necessarily excluding the middle ground, which has since clarified. So no, i was not just posting something stupid for the hell of it.

    I would also argue that for a large portion of society, the idea that you were your best/formal clothes to church has fallen by the way side. These days, many people are just happy that people are making it out to service on a sunday, and for many people living in poverty, they're just happy to get spiritual guidance without being thrown out for not looking nice. For a place that talks a lot about compassion for other, judging someone on what they wore to church seems rather stupid.

    So yes, I would think that implying someone has AS because they hold a different opinion on what is the societal norm for church wear is a bit dumb

    ronzo on
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2009
    Khavall wrote: »
    ronzo wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »

    Yes, there are formal churches where people wear their Sunday Best. There are also more informal churches that are more guided discussion groups then what we view as "church".

    so theres no middle ground between the two, aka a "church" where wearing your Sunday Best isn't require, but is a actual service and not a "guided discussion"?

    edit: did you really just suggest that someone might have Asperger's because they do not conform to your idea of what is appropriate to wear to a church?

    Did you actually get that from his post? did you just not read it and post something stupid for the hell of it?

    He said there are formal churches. There are also informal churches. Nowhere in that does that say that there aren't other types, but that there are those two. I know that "also" seems like it excludes something but actually it doesn't! It's adding to something, without taking away the possibility of a lack of other things! Amazing, I know.

    Aaaaand he suggested that someone might have Asperger's if they can't conform to society standards because they can't relate to other members of society.

    It doesn't help that jeans match any colour, so that they make a really good crutch for those who have trouble with it.
    I'm usually the least well dressed one at services, but that's because my meds are running out about that time (BaRuCh rarely does more than Friday evening), and I'm crashing too hard to change. Or it could be that I'm posting on this forum until five minutes after I should have left.

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • RobmanRobman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    ronzo wrote: »
    Khavall wrote: »
    ronzo wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »

    Yes, there are formal churches where people wear their Sunday Best. There are also more informal churches that are more guided discussion groups then what we view as "church".

    so theres no middle ground between the two, aka a "church" where wearing your Sunday Best isn't require, but is a actual service and not a "guided discussion"?

    edit: did you really just suggest that someone might have Asperger's because they do not conform to your idea of what is appropriate to wear to a church?

    Did you actually get that from his post? did you just not read it and post something stupid for the hell of it?

    He said there are formal churches. There are also informal churches. Nowhere in that does that say that there aren't other types, but that there are those two. I know that "also" seems like it excludes something but actually it doesn't! It's adding to something, without taking away the possibility of a lack of other things! Amazing, I know.

    Aaaaand he suggested that someone might have Asperger's if they can't conform to society standards because they can't relate to other members of society.

    i read it as him saying that all informal church's were just guided discussion groups. I get that 'also' means he wasn't necessarily excluding the middle ground, which has since clarified. So no, i was not just posting something stupid for the hell of it.

    I would also argue that for a large portion of society, the idea that you were your best/formal clothes to church has fallen by the way side. These days, many people are just happy that people are making it out to service on a sunday, and for many people living in poverty, they're just happy to get spiritual guidance without being thrown out for not looking nice. For a place that talks a lot about compassion for other, judging someone on what they wore to church seems rather stupid.

    So yes, I would think that implying someone has AS because they hold a different opinion on what is the societal norm for church wear is a bit dumb

    Are you trying your hardest to be denser then Uranium?

    I brought up church as a particular social venue with (sometimes) an expected dress code. I'm not debating the validity of the church, make your own fucking thread if you want to wax philosophical about rich churches excluding the poor.

    Do you or do you not agree that groups within society establish codes of conduct including dress codes, that how you dress is an important part of non-verbal communication, and that violating a group's dress code out of a personal belief that clothing isn't important will offend the group? Because THAT is the discussion topic for this thread.

    Robman on
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2009
    Robman wrote: »
    ronzo wrote: »
    Khavall wrote: »
    ronzo wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »

    Yes, there are formal churches where people wear their Sunday Best. There are also more informal churches that are more guided discussion groups then what we view as "church".

    so theres no middle ground between the two, aka a "church" where wearing your Sunday Best isn't require, but is a actual service and not a "guided discussion"?

    edit: did you really just suggest that someone might have Asperger's because they do not conform to your idea of what is appropriate to wear to a church?

    Did you actually get that from his post? did you just not read it and post something stupid for the hell of it?

    He said there are formal churches. There are also informal churches. Nowhere in that does that say that there aren't other types, but that there are those two. I know that "also" seems like it excludes something but actually it doesn't! It's adding to something, without taking away the possibility of a lack of other things! Amazing, I know.

    Aaaaand he suggested that someone might have Asperger's if they can't conform to society standards because they can't relate to other members of society.

    i read it as him saying that all informal church's were just guided discussion groups. I get that 'also' means he wasn't necessarily excluding the middle ground, which has since clarified. So no, i was not just posting something stupid for the hell of it.

    I would also argue that for a large portion of society, the idea that you were your best/formal clothes to church has fallen by the way side. These days, many people are just happy that people are making it out to service on a sunday, and for many people living in poverty, they're just happy to get spiritual guidance without being thrown out for not looking nice. For a place that talks a lot about compassion for other, judging someone on what they wore to church seems rather stupid.

    So yes, I would think that implying someone has AS because they hold a different opinion on what is the societal norm for church wear is a bit dumb

    Are you trying your hardest to be denser then Uranium?

    I brought up church as a particular social venue with (sometimes) an expected dress code. I'm not debating the validity of the church, make your own fucking thread if you want to wax philosophical about rich churches excluding the poor.

    Do you or do you not agree that groups within society establish codes of conduct including dress codes, that how you dress is an important part of non-verbal communication, and that violating a group's dress code out of a personal belief that clothing isn't important will offend the group? Because THAT is the discussion topic for this thread.

    Besides, what are you arguing against? They're only letters. It's not like they have any meaning or anything.

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Why is it that in this thread not conforming to all aspects of a social group is considered a big 'fuck you' to the group?

    Isn't it possible, since groups intersect, to differ without disrespect?

    poshniallo on
    I figure I could take a bear.
  • DemerdarDemerdar Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    You fucks will argue about anything

    Demerdar on
    y6GGs3o.gif
  • ronzoronzo Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Robman wrote: »
    ronzo wrote: »
    Khavall wrote: »
    ronzo wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »

    Yes, there are formal churches where people wear their Sunday Best. There are also more informal churches that are more guided discussion groups then what we view as "church".

    so theres no middle ground between the two, aka a "church" where wearing your Sunday Best isn't require, but is a actual service and not a "guided discussion"?

    edit: did you really just suggest that someone might have Asperger's because they do not conform to your idea of what is appropriate to wear to a church?

    Did you actually get that from his post? did you just not read it and post something stupid for the hell of it?

    He said there are formal churches. There are also informal churches. Nowhere in that does that say that there aren't other types, but that there are those two. I know that "also" seems like it excludes something but actually it doesn't! It's adding to something, without taking away the possibility of a lack of other things! Amazing, I know.

    Aaaaand he suggested that someone might have Asperger's if they can't conform to society standards because they can't relate to other members of society.

    i read it as him saying that all informal church's were just guided discussion groups. I get that 'also' means he wasn't necessarily excluding the middle ground, which has since clarified. So no, i was not just posting something stupid for the hell of it.

    I would also argue that for a large portion of society, the idea that you were your best/formal clothes to church has fallen by the way side. These days, many people are just happy that people are making it out to service on a sunday, and for many people living in poverty, they're just happy to get spiritual guidance without being thrown out for not looking nice. For a place that talks a lot about compassion for other, judging someone on what they wore to church seems rather stupid.

    So yes, I would think that implying someone has AS because they hold a different opinion on what is the societal norm for church wear is a bit dumb

    Are you trying your hardest to be denser then Uranium?

    I brought up church as a particular social venue with (sometimes) an expected dress code. I'm not debating the validity of the church, make your own fucking thread if you want to wax philosophical about rich churches excluding the poor.

    Do you or do you not agree that groups within society establish codes of conduct including dress codes, that how you dress is an important part of non-verbal communication, and that violating a group's dress code out of a personal belief that clothing isn't important will offend the group? Because THAT is the discussion topic for this thread.
    Yes, i fucking agree with the last line. I think it's a bit silly sometimes and only seems to persist because it exists in the first place (as in, why do we think suits are respectable? because of social norms, which, which evolved from some other social norms)

    what i'm arguing with you for is because of this:
    Robman wrote: »
    Irond Will wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »
    Hey

    I was just considering buying the Three Wolf t-shirt for shits and giggles this morning

    If anyone judges you for wearing it around town or to church they [strike]are bigots and snobs.[/strike] have good taste.

    EDIT The church line seems particularly petty - church is a formal occasion where everyone dresses well to respect the house of god.

    this doesn't say sometimes, this implies that you think the norm is formal wear for church, and when someone implied that perhaps thats not the way things work for churches:
    Face it, for a lot of people, Church is just a social event where they meet up with people and talk for a bit and go home. If they want to dress up, they dress up. If they dont, they dont. No need to climb up their ass and shout in their ears for being inconsiderate for not dress up to your standards.

    them saying this doesn't mean they don't understand or follow social norms, this is a statement saying that perhaps the social norms have shifted from what you think they are. There is no reason to imply someone might have AS because of that statement, nor imply that a more informal church is only a place of guided discussion

    edit: to be short, I agree that societal norms are fine, and that generally people not following them are either are ignorant, have AS (or something similar), or are trying to "buck the system". I just don't agree with the idea that churches are still a place where "Sunday Best" is still the accepted norm except perhaps on important days (Easter, Christmas, etc). If your point was that he was using the church as a means to argue against all social norms for dress, then I apologize for misunderstanding your point

    ronzo on
  • RobmanRobman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    We think suits are respectable because they are damn classy and totally sexy

    Robman on
  • SkyGheNeSkyGheNe Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Robman wrote: »
    We think suits are respectable because they are damn classy and totally sexy

    Subjective.

    SkyGheNe on
  • HounHoun Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »
    We think suits are respectable because they are damn classy and totally sexy

    Subjective.

    Actually, all suits are enchanted with bonuses to your classy and sexy stats. Try reading the tag next time.

    Houn on
  • SkyGheNeSkyGheNe Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Houn wrote: »
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »
    We think suits are respectable because they are damn classy and totally sexy

    Subjective.

    Actually, all suits are enchanted with bonuses to your classy and sexy stats. Try reading the tag next time.

    So are wife beaters and jeans on men & women who work in the sun.

    SkyGheNe on
  • HounHoun Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Houn wrote: »
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »
    We think suits are respectable because they are damn classy and totally sexy

    Subjective.

    Actually, all suits are enchanted with bonuses to your classy and sexy stats. Try reading the tag next time.

    So are wife beaters and jeans on men & women who work in the sun.

    Now you're just being silly. Everyone knows that you can't put a classy enchant on a wife beater; the fabric is too flimsy to handle it. :P

    Houn on
  • DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Houn wrote: »
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »
    We think suits are respectable because they are damn classy and totally sexy

    Subjective.

    Actually, all suits are enchanted with bonuses to your classy and sexy stats. Try reading the tag next time.

    So are wife beaters and jeans on men & women who work in the sun.

    Actually anyway you slice it wifebeaters are a -5 to class.

    Deebaser on
  • SkyGheNeSkyGheNe Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Deebaser wrote: »
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Houn wrote: »
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »
    We think suits are respectable because they are damn classy and totally sexy

    Subjective.

    Actually, all suits are enchanted with bonuses to your classy and sexy stats. Try reading the tag next time.

    So are wife beaters and jeans on men & women who work in the sun.

    Actually anyway you slice it wifebeaters are a -5 to class.

    But it's a +100 to sexy.

    SkyGheNe on
  • DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    poshniallo wrote: »
    Why is it that in this thread not conforming to all aspects of a social group is considered a big 'fuck you' to the group?

    Isn't it possible, since groups intersect, to differ without disrespect?

    In some cases 'yes', in other cases 'no'. Clothes say a lot about you before you open your mouth. This cuts across EVERY culture and subculture.

    Deebaser on
  • DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Deebaser wrote: »
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Houn wrote: »
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »
    We think suits are respectable because they are damn classy and totally sexy

    Subjective.

    Actually, all suits are enchanted with bonuses to your classy and sexy stats. Try reading the tag next time.

    So are wife beaters and jeans on men & women who work in the sun.

    Actually anyway you slice it wifebeaters are a -5 to class.

    But it's a +100 to sexy.

    Imma gonna use all my dkp on one of these. I can wear it under my suit. :lol:

    Deebaser on
  • SkyGheNeSkyGheNe Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Deebaser wrote: »
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Deebaser wrote: »
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Houn wrote: »
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »
    We think suits are respectable because they are damn classy and totally sexy

    Subjective.

    Actually, all suits are enchanted with bonuses to your classy and sexy stats. Try reading the tag next time.

    So are wife beaters and jeans on men & women who work in the sun.

    Actually anyway you slice it wifebeaters are a -5 to class.

    But it's a +100 to sexy.

    Imma gonna use all my dkp on one of these. I can wear it under my suit. :lol:

    Haha, oh god i can't believe i got a WoW reference.

    SkyGheNe on
  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Robman wrote: »
    I'm not really saying that you have Asperger's if you don't dress to match an event, but it's worth noting that similar behaviours are diagnostic of mental illness.

    Which is relevant how?

    Quid on
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2009
    Quid wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »
    I'm not really saying that you have Asperger's if you don't dress to match an event, but it's worth noting that similar behaviours are diagnostic of mental illness.

    Which is relevant how?

    You'd know that if you weren't such a 'tard.

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • jclastjclast Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Deebaser wrote: »
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Houn wrote: »
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »
    We think suits are respectable because they are damn classy and totally sexy

    Subjective.

    Actually, all suits are enchanted with bonuses to your classy and sexy stats. Try reading the tag next time.

    So are wife beaters and jeans on men & women who work in the sun.

    Actually anyway you slice it wifebeaters are a -5 to class.

    Unless it's worn under as an honest to God undershirt.

    jclast on
    camo_sig2.png
  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Scalfin wrote: »
    Quid wrote: »
    Robman wrote: »
    I'm not really saying that you have Asperger's if you don't dress to match an event, but it's worth noting that similar behaviours are diagnostic of mental illness.

    Which is relevant how?

    You'd know that if you weren't such a 'tard.

    Brilliant!

    Quid on
  • Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    edited November 2009
    I just cannot believe that it is a controversial statement that some clothes are appropriate or inappropriate for certain occasions or venues.

    Irond Will on
    Wqdwp8l.png
  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Has Irond Will always been a mod? I swear I never noticed that before.

    Darkewolfe on
    What is this I don't even.
  • KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Irond Will wrote: »
    I just cannot believe that it is a controversial statement that some clothes are appropriate or inappropriate for certain occasions or venues.

    YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD


    YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

    Khavall on
  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Irond Will wrote: »
    I just cannot believe that it is a controversial statement that some clothes are appropriate or inappropriate for certain occasions or venues.

    I think the controversy is really over whether this makes any sense and what level of expectation is reasonable to impose on other people.

    japan on
  • jclastjclast Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Irond Will wrote: »
    I just cannot believe that it is a controversial statement that some clothes are appropriate or inappropriate for certain occasions or venues.

    The only one that is new to me is the "dress up when you're in a cemetary" one. I haven't been to a funeral as long as my age has had 2 digits in it, but I always figured I'd dress up for a funeral because that seems to be the norm, but if I'm going to go to the cemetary on my own I'll mourn in jeans and a t-shirt, but I'll also make sure not to blast Smoke on the Water (even though it was - for illustrative purposes - Grandpa's favorite) while a funeral is taking place.

    jclast on
    camo_sig2.png
  • NostregarNostregar Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Irond Will wrote: »
    I just cannot believe that it is a controversial statement that some clothes are appropriate or inappropriate for certain occasions or venues.

    I think the counterclaim is more that "what is appropriate is subjective", not that there is no "appropriate dress".

    And then the problem arising is that you're saying what is appropriate is not subjective and that not dressing in the way that "polite society" finds appropriate makes you a terrible person and, in one case, means you have a mental disorder.

    You and the people agreeing with you, Irond Will, are talking about how not dressing in the way that you find appropriate makes the "improperly dressed" person "in the wrong", and the people you're viewing as such are saying "why is your standard of dress more important than ours."

    I don't really have a strong view either way, but yeah. There you go.

    Nostregar on
  • LeitnerLeitner Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    jclast wrote: »
    Irond Will wrote: »
    I just cannot believe that it is a controversial statement that some clothes are appropriate or inappropriate for certain occasions or venues.

    The only one that is new to me is the "dress up when you're in a cemetary" one. I haven't been to a funeral as long as my age has had 2 digits in it, but I always figured I'd dress up for a funeral because that seems to be the norm, but if I'm going to go to the cemetary on my own I'll mourn in jeans and a t-shirt, but I'll also make sure not to blast Smoke on the Water (even though it was - for illustrative purposes - Grandpa's favorite) while a funeral is taking place.

    Nah that guy must have some fashion related autism or something. I used to go throught a graveyeard fairly frequently (fastest way to the local pub), and the only time I ever saw people in suits was when there was a funeral going on.

    Leitner on
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2009
    Nostregar wrote: »
    Irond Will wrote: »
    I just cannot believe that it is a controversial statement that some clothes are appropriate or inappropriate for certain occasions or venues.

    I think the counterclaim is more that "what is appropriate is subjective", not that there is no "appropriate dress".

    And then the problem arising is that you're saying what is appropriate is not subjective and that not dressing in the way that "polite society" finds appropriate makes you a terrible person and, in one case, means you have a mental disorder.

    You and the people agreeing with you, Irond Will, are talking about how not dressing in the way that you find appropriate makes the "improperly dressed" person "in the wrong", and the people you're viewing as such are saying "why is your standard of dress more important than ours."

    I don't really have a strong view either way, but yeah. There you go.

    If you go to a grunge church, feel free to wear fishnet shirts or Reagan/He-man campaign pins or whatever grunge kids wore. If you attend Temple Shalom, you can wear a yarmulke or you can leave.

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • Modern ManModern Man Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Robman wrote: »
    I'm not really saying that you have Asperger's if you don't dress to match an event, but it's worth noting that similar behaviours are diagnostic of mental illness.
    People with Asperger's at least have an excuse for failing to recognize such social conventions. People who do so just because they want to are basically just being douches.

    Modern Man on
    Aetian Jupiter - 41 Gunslinger - The Old Republic
    Rigorous Scholarship

  • Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    edited November 2009
    jclast wrote: »
    Irond Will wrote: »
    I just cannot believe that it is a controversial statement that some clothes are appropriate or inappropriate for certain occasions or venues.

    The only one that is new to me is the "dress up when you're in a cemetary" one. I haven't been to a funeral as long as my age has had 2 digits in it, but I always figured I'd dress up for a funeral because that seems to be the norm, but if I'm going to go to the cemetary on my own I'll mourn in jeans and a t-shirt, but I'll also make sure not to blast Smoke on the Water (even though it was - for illustrative purposes - Grandpa's favorite) while a funeral is taking place.

    I haven't been to a graveyard for years besides funerals, and I really have no idea what the norm is. I guess if I were to go to one, I would make an effort to not appear as though I was being disrespectful to people there to grieve - this would include clothing and behavior.

    Irond Will on
    Wqdwp8l.png
  • jclastjclast Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Irond Will wrote: »
    jclast wrote: »
    Irond Will wrote: »
    I just cannot believe that it is a controversial statement that some clothes are appropriate or inappropriate for certain occasions or venues.

    The only one that is new to me is the "dress up when you're in a cemetary" one. I haven't been to a funeral as long as my age has had 2 digits in it, but I always figured I'd dress up for a funeral because that seems to be the norm, but if I'm going to go to the cemetary on my own I'll mourn in jeans and a t-shirt, but I'll also make sure not to blast Smoke on the Water (even though it was - for illustrative purposes - Grandpa's favorite) while a funeral is taking place.

    I haven't been to a graveyard for years besides funerals, and I really have no idea what the norm is. I guess if I were to go to one, I would make an effort to not appear as though I was being disrespectful to people there to grieve - this would include clothing and behavior.

    Right. And (keep in mind, I haven't been to a funeral in over 15 years) I don't figure I'd be pissed if I was attending a funeral and was dressed up for the ocassion while another guy was respectfully visiting a grave in his jeans and t-shirt.

    jclast on
    camo_sig2.png
  • psychotixpsychotix __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2009
    I think the person who owns/hosts the event/company/ect gets to state what appropriate dress is. And there is a good bit of logic in "if you can't be assed to put on a 3 piece then you don't care enough about it to be here".

    I've also found a good amount of "I hate dress codes" loosely translates into "I'm so special that I shouldn't have to suffer the rules you suckers do".

    psychotix on
  • psychotixpsychotix __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2009
    jclast wrote: »
    Irond Will wrote: »
    jclast wrote: »
    Irond Will wrote: »
    I just cannot believe that it is a controversial statement that some clothes are appropriate or inappropriate for certain occasions or venues.

    The only one that is new to me is the "dress up when you're in a cemetary" one. I haven't been to a funeral as long as my age has had 2 digits in it, but I always figured I'd dress up for a funeral because that seems to be the norm, but if I'm going to go to the cemetary on my own I'll mourn in jeans and a t-shirt, but I'll also make sure not to blast Smoke on the Water (even though it was - for illustrative purposes - Grandpa's favorite) while a funeral is taking place.

    I haven't been to a graveyard for years besides funerals, and I really have no idea what the norm is. I guess if I were to go to one, I would make an effort to not appear as though I was being disrespectful to people there to grieve - this would include clothing and behavior.

    Right. And (keep in mind, I haven't been to a funeral in over 15 years) I don't figure I'd be pissed if I was attending a funeral and was dressed up for the ocassion while another guy was respectfully visiting a grave in his jeans and t-shirt.

    This varries. A good amount of funerals I went to I had to be in my Navy full dress uniform, this is very easy to understand why. Though when I walk through Arlington it's jeans and a t-shirt. I feel that works given the nature of the place.

    The basic jist of normal cemetaries though is to be as respectful as possible because people are having a bad day.

    psychotix on
  • Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    edited November 2009
    Nostregar wrote: »
    Irond Will wrote: »
    I just cannot believe that it is a controversial statement that some clothes are appropriate or inappropriate for certain occasions or venues.

    I think the counterclaim is more that "what is appropriate is subjective", not that there is no "appropriate dress".

    And then the problem arising is that you're saying what is appropriate is not subjective and that not dressing in the way that "polite society" finds appropriate makes you a terrible person and, in one case, means you have a mental disorder.

    You and the people agreeing with you, Irond Will, are talking about how not dressing in the way that you find appropriate makes the "improperly dressed" person "in the wrong", and the people you're viewing as such are saying "why is your standard of dress more important than ours."

    I guess I would point out that I did not invent social standards regarding dressing onesself.

    I know that a lot of subculture people - whether they are goths or punk rockers or LARPers or furries or grunge kids or hipsters or beach-bums or nudists or people who dress up like vampires or whatever else - like to think of their subcultural and its trappings as parallel to and distinct from mainstream society. I know that they regard anyone who might think that their personal venue of self-expression or subculture as inappropriate for any occasion or venue that might arise as bigotry and snobbery.

    But in the end, there is a dominant culture. I didn't invent it. I don't necessarily even think it always makes a lot of sense. But there it is - and showing up to your job interview with white pancake makeup and a cape is 99 times out of 100 going to work against you.

    Irond Will on
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  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    psychotix wrote: »
    I've also found a good amount of "I hate dress codes" loosely translates into "I'm so special that I shouldn't have to suffer the rules you suckers do".

    As someone not interested in clothes, I prefer dress codes to all this implied social convention stuff.

    They make life easier., but unfortunately people are rarely that explicit.

    japan on
  • CommunistCowCommunistCow Abstract Metal ThingyRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Irond Will wrote: »
    I just cannot believe that it is a controversial statement that some clothes are appropriate or inappropriate for certain occasions or venues.

    Its because this is an internet gaming forum full of dorks. :P

    CommunistCow on
    No, I am not really communist. Yes, it is weird that I use this name.
  • jclastjclast Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    psychotix wrote: »
    jclast wrote: »
    Irond Will wrote: »
    jclast wrote: »
    Irond Will wrote: »
    I just cannot believe that it is a controversial statement that some clothes are appropriate or inappropriate for certain occasions or venues.

    The only one that is new to me is the "dress up when you're in a cemetary" one. I haven't been to a funeral as long as my age has had 2 digits in it, but I always figured I'd dress up for a funeral because that seems to be the norm, but if I'm going to go to the cemetary on my own I'll mourn in jeans and a t-shirt, but I'll also make sure not to blast Smoke on the Water (even though it was - for illustrative purposes - Grandpa's favorite) while a funeral is taking place.

    I haven't been to a graveyard for years besides funerals, and I really have no idea what the norm is. I guess if I were to go to one, I would make an effort to not appear as though I was being disrespectful to people there to grieve - this would include clothing and behavior.

    Right. And (keep in mind, I haven't been to a funeral in over 15 years) I don't figure I'd be pissed if I was attending a funeral and was dressed up for the ocassion while another guy was respectfully visiting a grave in his jeans and t-shirt.

    This varries. A good amount of funerals I went to I had to be in my Navy full dress uniform, this is very easy to understand why. Though when I walk through Arlington it's jeans and a t-shirt. I feel that works given the nature of the place.

    The basic jist of normal cemetaries though is to be as respectful as possible because people are having a bad day.

    Of course, but if I'm not attending the funeral that you are - I'm just in the area (this actually happens with my wife - we stop at the cemetary her grandfather is buried at when we're in IL to visit her grandmother), and I'm not going to pull out my Sunday best for 10-20 minutes at the cemetary. And if there is a funeral going on, I'm going to do my best not to make their day worse, but if my dress offends them then I think they're focusing more on me more than they are the passing of their loved one.

    That said, when I visited Arlington I dressed up. I was going to be there and for a while and I took part in the laying of the wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

    jclast on
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  • Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    edited November 2009
    jclast wrote: »
    Right. And (keep in mind, I haven't been to a funeral in over 15 years) I don't figure I'd be pissed if I was attending a funeral and was dressed up for the ocassion while another guy was respectfully visiting a grave in his jeans and t-shirt.

    The last funeral I went to was my girlfriend's grandmother's, a few months ago. It was held at the family farm in central Maine, then we went over to the local graveyard to inter the remaining ashes.

    I knew Frankie's grandmother, but not well. I wore a charcoal suit and black tie and was the the most formally dressed, though a few of the older gentlemen had made an effort to dress up a little. Central Maine, I guess, is not big on being dressy, and presumably the family and neighbors present were familiar enough with each other that dressing in their step-above-work-clothes was appropriate.

    So I guess it was a little out of place, but I was all right with that - since my intention was to show respect to the memory of Frankie's grandmother and everyone at the event, even though I didn't know the woman well.

    Irond Will on
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