Okay, so here's one you can put to the lie detector test.
One of the last times I got high was about a year before moving into the apartment. Now, Jimmy was already living there with other roommates, and they were a pretty wild bunch. So it's some kind of holiday weekend from college, and Jimmy throws a party at the apartment which basically consists of drinking, smoking pot and drinking and smoking pot. After a while, Jimmy stands up in his favorite chair and announces to everyone that one of his friends from the Fine Arts department has invited him and "whatever friends are hanging out" to their party, which apparently was more lame than ours, but they were all Art Chicks, so it might be worth trying to get laid.
So about 25 of us pile out of the apartment in various states of altered consciousness. However, I have one of those odd "Pot Memories" where everything that happens while I'm high is for some reason etched into my brain like a fucking tattoo. We end up walking about 12 blocks down Elmwood, which is one of the three main strips in Buffalo, the other two being Delaware and Main Street (although Main is kind of dead now).
About halfway there, it starts raining. Then it starts to thunder. We are all trying to catch raindrops in our mouths and stupid shit like that because, well, we were high and/or drunk. Leading the pack like some kind of demented Drum Major is Jimmy, dressed in a pair of maroon corduroy pants, a bright yellow Sonic Youth shirt, another longer-sleeved shirt under that with green and white and blue stripes and a mailman's shirt worn as a jacket with the sleeves cut off. His hair was also tri-colored at the time, so he was like some kind of demented elf, and he was singing Syd Barrett songs as he pranced along, leading us on our weary journey.
About five blocks from our destination, the lightning starts, and the rain begins to pour like hell. We are now almost within visual range of our destination. At the corner of Elmwood and (I think) Lafayette is a church. Just as we get in front of the church, there is a flash, an ear-splitting crack and a shower of sparks. Yes, lightning hit the front of the church. Then, the burglar and fire alarms on the church go off in a loud, clamoring cacophony.
Most of us were frightened or astounded by it, crouching and holding our ears, but not Jimmy.
He ran up and down Elmwood, banging on doors and windows, shouting "GOD JUST GOT HIT BY LIGHTNING!" Running up to anyone hiding under awnings from the downpour, "GOD GOT HIT BY LIGHTNING! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? JESUS IS GONNA BE ONE PISSED OFF MOTHERFUCKER!"
To this day, up near the top of the front of the church is a spot about a foot or so in diameter that is scorched.
We made it to the party.
It wasn't what we expected. Apparently, this was the party where all the not-cute Art Chicks were hanging out. I think Jimmy called it the "Ode to Liv-A-Snaps Party."
We left and went to Pano's, where Jimmy told everyone in the restaurant about God getting struck by lightning.
every time I see that rocketeer avatar I think it's World As Myth.
it will be again, SH has to give it back just as soon as Tube changes my name back which he definitely will because he wouldn't leave me as Dicknipple Pisseye for eternity
World as Myth on
0
VivixenneRemember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered Userregular
every time I see that rocketeer avatar I think it's World As Myth.
it will be again, SH has to give it back just as soon as Tube changes my name back which he definitely will because he wouldn't leave me as Dicknipple Pisseye for eternity
every time I see that rocketeer avatar I think it's World As Myth.
it will be again, SH has to give it back just as soon as Tube changes my name back which he definitely will because he wouldn't leave me as Dicknipple Pisseye for eternity
I dunno WaM. It's Tube, after all.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
World as Myth on
0
VivixenneRemember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered Userregular
every time I see that rocketeer avatar I think it's World As Myth.
it will be again, SH has to give it back just as soon as Tube changes my name back which he definitely will because he wouldn't leave me as Dicknipple Pisseye for eternity
I dunno WaM. It's Tube, after all.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
You will always be World as Myth: Purveyor of the Rocketeer Avatar to me. Always.
1.
I had someone I had only met three hours earlier delve into her sexual history. Specifically concerning her ex-fiancee and how he got her involved with the orgy scene against her will. She gave myself and another friend what ended up being a nearly hour long explination of the entire thing.
2.
I had a girl start an argument with me about whether or not ferrets go to heaven for no other discernable reason than I have two ferrets. Her position was that since they aren't catholic they have to burn in hell. The entire struck struck me as rediculous so I played along for a bit because I figured she had to be going joking. She wasn't. She (and her roomate apparently) greatly dislike me to this day because after I realized she was dead serious I walked away without ever agreeing that ferrets burn in hell.
3.
I had two friends threatened by a, at the time, soon to be ex-husband of someone who had watched my friends do standup a few times and started hanging out with them after their shows. He was under the impression one or both of them were boning his ex-wife, which they weren't. Amusingly enough the divorce was imminent (finalizing the following week) because he had been banging a girl on the side.
Not only was he now living with her but when he came out to the bar that night to harrass my friends and his soon to be ex-wife he brought his girlfriend along for the ride to witness him being a violent psychopath. Eventually the cops had to be called and he is now banned from the bar where my friends regularly perform at. The girlfriend drove his truck back to the apartment she shares with him after witnessing all of this and is still with him to this day.
HappylilElf on
0
StraightziHere we may reign secure, and in my choice,To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered Userregular
edited April 2007
1. I'd believe it, as effectively the same thing has happened to me.
2. Nah.
3. I've heard crazier. Sure, why not.
#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
edited April 2007
When I was at a conservatory doing a music degree, we had a Music History lecture series and assignment on John Cage, the Avant Garde "composer" (most famous for his work 4'33", whose three "movements" are performed without a single note being voiced).
After the first hour of the first lecture, I walked out.
Without going to any of the other lectures, I ignored the assignment parameters and submitted a page with a few sentences written by hand.
It was something along the lines of "pretentious garbage", "inability to write real music", "Should be thought of as a philosopher, not a musician", "I'm not paying money to learn about some jackass rubbing a thistle on a microphone and calling it music"
1. I'd believe it, as effectively the same thing has happened to me.
2. Nah.
3. I've heard crazier. Sure, why not.
All three are actually true. I tried to think of something that would be really believable and a lie but I was too sleepy. On the second one I kinda cheated though. I intentionally didn't mention she was really drunk at the time.
I was going to post a few more but when I can't think of any really creative lies. I've got a ton of weird stories about various shennanigans I've witnessed/partaken in but I'm not confident in my ability to come up with and lies that are believable.
When I was at a conservatory doing a music degree, we had a Music History lecture series and assignment on John Cage, the Avant Garde "composer" (most famous for his work 4'33", whose three "movements" are performed without a single note being voiced).
After the first hour of the first lecture, I walked out.
Without going to any of the other lectures, I ignored the assignment parameters and submitted a page with a few sentences written by hand.
It was something along the lines of "pretentious garbage", "inability to write real music", "Should be thought of as a philosopher, not a musician", "I'm not paying money to learn about some jackass rubbing a thistle on a microphone and calling it music"
I got a B
Hopefully that is true so if I ever come across something like that, I can write a paper to that effect and get a decent grade.
Hopefully that is true so if I ever come across something like that, I can write a paper to that effect and get a decent grade.
It is true.
Along with the B, the assignment came back with a not from the lecturer saying he shouldn't have passed me because my submission didn't address the assignment question, but he agreed with me, and was happy to give me a B, so long as I didn't tell anyone about it!
I once got a pencil drawing I made published in Electronic Gaming Monthly in their envelope art section that they used to do. It was a pretty well-done drawing of a few of the cars in Vigilante 8 driving around with explosions in the background.
Hopefully that is true so if I ever come across something like that, I can write a paper to that effect and get a decent grade.
It is true.
Along with the B, the assignment came back with a not from the lecturer saying he shouldn't have passed me because my submission didn't address the assignment question, but he agreed with me, and was happy to give me a B, so long as I didn't tell anyone about it!
Man I called in sick for work today but I'm not really sick.
"Hello"
"Hello boss I hate to do this but I got a fever and my head is pounding I don't think I can make it into work today"
"Ok well if you can't I understand"
"I'm sorry about this"
"Alright"
I don't know why I aplogized but I don't think they believed that I was sick, I've been working there like 4-5 months now and this is the first time I called in I wonder if this will come back and bite me in the ass.
klok on
0
#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
So my friend went to watch Spiderman 2 in a theatre because he had free tickets and nothing better to do. It was like 2 o'clock in the afternoon, and the theatre had like 5 people in it and another 10 or so down in the front row.
Now these people in the front row were all about the movie. Foam fingers and hats and wooping and not stfuing all through the pre-previews, through the previews, and then finally into the opening credits.
My friend was getting pretty pissed off at that point because, seriously, once you get past the credits, it's time to shut up. Finally, about 15 minutes into the movie, he stands up and yells,
"HEY, RETARDS, STOP WITH THE FUCKING YELLING."
The entire row turns around, and it's two caretakers and A GROUP OF KIDS WITH DOWNS SYNDROME.
Posts
cut it out
"If you're going to play tiddly winks, play it with man hole covers."
- John McCallum
man
awesome
Reozeveforr or Reozervfero
Or something better if you got it
Yam sayin ?
XBL - Foreverender | 3DS FC - 1418 6696 1012 | Steam ID | LoL
I haven't the fucking foggiest idea but I really should be in bed
You are making my brain hurt. It's not like it's hard I know because it's a teensy weensy brain but still.
One of the last times I got high was about a year before moving into the apartment. Now, Jimmy was already living there with other roommates, and they were a pretty wild bunch. So it's some kind of holiday weekend from college, and Jimmy throws a party at the apartment which basically consists of drinking, smoking pot and drinking and smoking pot. After a while, Jimmy stands up in his favorite chair and announces to everyone that one of his friends from the Fine Arts department has invited him and "whatever friends are hanging out" to their party, which apparently was more lame than ours, but they were all Art Chicks, so it might be worth trying to get laid.
So about 25 of us pile out of the apartment in various states of altered consciousness. However, I have one of those odd "Pot Memories" where everything that happens while I'm high is for some reason etched into my brain like a fucking tattoo. We end up walking about 12 blocks down Elmwood, which is one of the three main strips in Buffalo, the other two being Delaware and Main Street (although Main is kind of dead now).
About halfway there, it starts raining. Then it starts to thunder. We are all trying to catch raindrops in our mouths and stupid shit like that because, well, we were high and/or drunk. Leading the pack like some kind of demented Drum Major is Jimmy, dressed in a pair of maroon corduroy pants, a bright yellow Sonic Youth shirt, another longer-sleeved shirt under that with green and white and blue stripes and a mailman's shirt worn as a jacket with the sleeves cut off. His hair was also tri-colored at the time, so he was like some kind of demented elf, and he was singing Syd Barrett songs as he pranced along, leading us on our weary journey.
About five blocks from our destination, the lightning starts, and the rain begins to pour like hell. We are now almost within visual range of our destination. At the corner of Elmwood and (I think) Lafayette is a church. Just as we get in front of the church, there is a flash, an ear-splitting crack and a shower of sparks. Yes, lightning hit the front of the church. Then, the burglar and fire alarms on the church go off in a loud, clamoring cacophony.
Most of us were frightened or astounded by it, crouching and holding our ears, but not Jimmy.
He ran up and down Elmwood, banging on doors and windows, shouting "GOD JUST GOT HIT BY LIGHTNING!" Running up to anyone hiding under awnings from the downpour, "GOD GOT HIT BY LIGHTNING! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? JESUS IS GONNA BE ONE PISSED OFF MOTHERFUCKER!"
To this day, up near the top of the front of the church is a spot about a foot or so in diameter that is scorched.
We made it to the party.
It wasn't what we expected. Apparently, this was the party where all the not-cute Art Chicks were hanging out. I think Jimmy called it the "Ode to Liv-A-Snaps Party."
We left and went to Pano's, where Jimmy told everyone in the restaurant about God getting struck by lightning.
T-I-M-E-P-A-R-A-D-O-X
it will be again, SH has to give it back just as soon as Tube changes my name back which he definitely will because he wouldn't leave me as Dicknipple Pisseye for eternity
I dunno WaM. It's Tube, after all.
thats awesome
and i believe it, too
ive had to contain a friend in the back of his explorer while i drove it (i was the least high and he was gone)
he thought he was a dinosaur
STEAM!
Yeah, I know.
NEVAR FORGET.
1.
I had someone I had only met three hours earlier delve into her sexual history. Specifically concerning her ex-fiancee and how he got her involved with the orgy scene against her will. She gave myself and another friend what ended up being a nearly hour long explination of the entire thing.
2.
I had a girl start an argument with me about whether or not ferrets go to heaven for no other discernable reason than I have two ferrets. Her position was that since they aren't catholic they have to burn in hell. The entire struck struck me as rediculous so I played along for a bit because I figured she had to be going joking. She wasn't. She (and her roomate apparently) greatly dislike me to this day because after I realized she was dead serious I walked away without ever agreeing that ferrets burn in hell.
3.
I had two friends threatened by a, at the time, soon to be ex-husband of someone who had watched my friends do standup a few times and started hanging out with them after their shows. He was under the impression one or both of them were boning his ex-wife, which they weren't. Amusingly enough the divorce was imminent (finalizing the following week) because he had been banging a girl on the side.
Not only was he now living with her but when he came out to the bar that night to harrass my friends and his soon to be ex-wife he brought his girlfriend along for the ride to witness him being a violent psychopath. Eventually the cops had to be called and he is now banned from the bar where my friends regularly perform at. The girlfriend drove his truck back to the apartment she shares with him after witnessing all of this and is still with him to this day.
2. Nah.
3. I've heard crazier. Sure, why not.
ROBIN FALLS
WHO KNEW
I mean
one time?
After the first hour of the first lecture, I walked out.
Without going to any of the other lectures, I ignored the assignment parameters and submitted a page with a few sentences written by hand.
It was something along the lines of "pretentious garbage", "inability to write real music", "Should be thought of as a philosopher, not a musician", "I'm not paying money to learn about some jackass rubbing a thistle on a microphone and calling it music"
I got a B
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
fuck it
"If you're going to play tiddly winks, play it with man hole covers."
- John McCallum
false
janson does it for you
All three are actually true. I tried to think of something that would be really believable and a lie but I was too sleepy. On the second one I kinda cheated though. I intentionally didn't mention she was really drunk at the time.
I was going to post a few more but when I can't think of any really creative lies. I've got a ton of weird stories about various shennanigans I've witnessed/partaken in but I'm not confident in my ability to come up with and lies that are believable.
Hopefully that is true so if I ever come across something like that, I can write a paper to that effect and get a decent grade.
dude who queered it up with your cousin
maybe the game was 2Xtreme
It is true.
Along with the B, the assignment came back with a not from the lecturer saying he shouldn't have passed me because my submission didn't address the assignment question, but he agreed with me, and was happy to give me a B, so long as I didn't tell anyone about it!
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
OH SNAP!
"Hello"
"Hello boss I hate to do this but I got a fever and my head is pounding I don't think I can make it into work today"
"Ok well if you can't I understand"
"I'm sorry about this"
"Alright"
I don't know why I aplogized but I don't think they believed that I was sick, I've been working there like 4-5 months now and this is the first time I called in I wonder if this will come back and bite me in the ass.
You have Cancer!
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Now these people in the front row were all about the movie. Foam fingers and hats and wooping and not stfuing all through the pre-previews, through the previews, and then finally into the opening credits.
My friend was getting pretty pissed off at that point because, seriously, once you get past the credits, it's time to shut up. Finally, about 15 minutes into the movie, he stands up and yells,
"HEY, RETARDS, STOP WITH THE FUCKING YELLING."
The entire row turns around, and it's two caretakers and A GROUP OF KIDS WITH DOWNS SYNDROME.
He left.
edit: oh and my drawing story is a lie. Everything else has been truth.
Totally true. He actually left because one of them started crying.
Thread over
oogmar wins
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.