Hi again. You guys might remember I've made a couple threads on here before and you all did a wonderful job in helping me (one with my wife/fiancee, we started communicating more and things cleared up immediately). Anywho, this thread is about a problem which has been plaguing us since I started dating my wife.
My wife's mother and her husband.
"Oh Sipex" you might say "Few people get along perfectly with their step parents, it's normal." and I'd happily agree with you and would love if that was just the case but it is not. Read the story below and know that it is not fake and tell me she is not evil afterwards. It'll be hard mind you, just thinking about the chain of events I can hardly believe they're real, I can understand if you expect to be bel-aired at the end of all this.
I apologise if I seem to trivialize horrible events but not having experienced them myself and wanting to keep this long post as short as possible it sort of happens.
Also, I'm sorry if this seems like a rant too, as it half is. My wife rants to me about this and I can't rant to anyone else to get it out because all my friends don't care or are shared between myself and her (and it's not fair to tell her secrets to people who will be able to make the connection to her).
Background info and context:
To start, my wife is the oldest of seven children, when she was younger her father did some horrible things to her and her two sisters. I won't get into details but that honestly should suffice. Her mother did not believe her at first when she finally came forward and told her, in short that she was a horrible child and a liar for saying such things. I honestly don't remember when her mother finally changed sides...I think my wife told a friend or something. Her father admitted to it, said he needed help, went to jail and was eventually deported.
A couple years go by, the family has tough times but things seem to be getting better.
My wife's mother, hereby referred to as Alice, starts dating a man named Brandon. Brandon has a temper and is currently cheating on his wife with Alice, he says his current wife does horrid things to him (later we find out none of this is true, it just turns out said wife had the balls to stand up to him and he didn't like that). My wife and her siblings (the older ones) are not too fond of him, my wife in particular hates him but Alice keeps dating him despite her concerns.
Brandon convinces Alice that she needs a break from raising the (currently 6) kids, and they put them in foster homes. This is not a joke.
Some of the children have better experiences than the others with this although they all miss each other terribly. My wife is lucky, her grand parents (Alice's parents) are foster parents and after she tells them how her previous foster family is treating her (terribly), they intervene and take over care of my wife for two years.
Suddenly Alice has a revelation, she wants her children back and by some stroke of luck she gets them all. But surprise, Brandon has left his wife and now Alice is pregnant with his child.
A short amount of time goes by...
Brandon and Alice's parents have a falling out over a joke, Brandon overreacts at said joke and storms off. To counter this Alice cuts my wife and her siblings off from their Grandparents and eventually her Aunt Candice (Alice's sister) for several years. I'd like to take a moment to state this is a very close family, raised on Mormon traditions and whatnot.
A year or so go by and my wife, being raised by Alice's parents for two years can't stand not talking to them and sneaks a phonecall to them. Alice finds out and nearly punishes my wife but her parents intervene with phonecalls apologising and generally telling her they just want the family back together again. Alice and her parents (and Aunt Candice too!) patch everything up.
During all this time Brandon has displayed his temper quite prominently. He yells at the children in frustration and anger, has hit a few and even thrown some objects at them. When crabby he grounds the children for obscure reasons or no reason at all. It's even believed that he's started hitting Alice as the signs start to arise. The children are thankful when he skulks off to his room which is often.
Alice and Brandon also start displaying blatant favourism amongst the children. Their child, the youngest of the 7, Elaine is never punished and gets the best gifts during christmas. One situation that particularily sticks out in my mind is Elaine got a doll while my wife got a tape dispenser (with her siblings receiving various other items similar to hers).
They also take leneincy towards the second oldest of the bunch, Francine. She is not punished for things the other children would see punishment for, her parents encourage her to have sex to a man who is 5 years older than her (and married) and she's generally being raised as a copy of her mother. (We eventually find out why)
- Elaine, as the youngest, is left home alone with Brandon who doesn't care to watch her or make sure she stays out of trouble. This leads to many bad things including: Drinking rubbing alcohol, losing possessions, killing off two batches of fish, shaving her arms, gluing her eyelids shut and cutting open her tongue when she tries to shave that too.
- While the kids survive off bread and KD, Alice and Brandon will order chinese food and other take out late at night so they don't have to share with the children.
I start dating my wife, we're 17ish, Brandon puts on a facade in front of guests or strangers but it's very obvious the kids are all tense around him. Eventually I find out from the lot of them the stories I have just conveyed above (and sadly more along the same lines).
My wife eventually has a falling out with her mother and moves in with me, her mother cuts the two of us off from talking to my wife's siblings. In secret meetings with a couple of the sisters we find out that she refers to my wife as the black sheep of the family.
Eventually, I'm not entirely sure how, my wife and her mother patch things up. We start visiting again. Everything is as fine as it gets.
Francine moves out to Aunt Candice's house after having a falling out with Alice but Alice doesn't cut her off.
The third oldest sister, Harriot, more like a brother to me really (she's very openly gay, and butch about it) begs to move in with my wife and I and we accept. We're cut off from the other children for a couple months again.
My wife also continues to show her displeasure towards her step-father Brandon, telling her mother that she doesn't accept him as a father and will never take his name. This is relevant later.
The current situation:
About...I'd say, two years ago I arrive at Aunt Candice's house after my wife tells me there's some sort of family emergency and I should head there after work. Upon arriving I find my wife, and the two other eldest sisters, Francine (the previously favoured child) and Harriot in tears. I'm concerned.
Over the next horrific hour the situation is revealed to me:
- The second youngest sister, Irene, went to a friend saying Brandon had been doing innappropriate things to her. Her friend responded properly and got an adult involved. Police, etc.
- This triggers an avalanche. Apparently Francine and Harriot both experienced the same thing (this would be the second time for each of them as horrible as that sounds), this is why Francine was the favoured child and why Harriot begged us to let her move in. They openly admitted it to Irene trying to comfort her and let her know they aren't alone.
- Aunt Candice, doing a good job of keeping her composure, has been on the phone with Alice during all this.
- Alice apparently blames my wife for the entire thing saying she put the idea in Irene's head and that Francine and Harriot were lying whores. They were all doing this as some demended scheme to get back at Brandon.
- Alice cuts everyone off from seeing her family, everyone. Her parents, Aunt Candice, the two sisters and us.
Time passes as we await the court date, Francine and Harriot have agreed to testify against Brandon while Alice has convinced Irene that she was making it all up. She has manipulated her daughter into believing this is all our fault. The next time we see the second youngest, Irene, she tells my wife she hates her for all of this, my wife is in tears.
I would like to take a moment to say...my wife did not have any part in this, she did not contact Irene when this first happened, she did not claim that she was abused. She simply supported her sisters because they needed her. To this day we have no idea why Alice hates us. I think she's fucking insane.
One by one the children still with their mother all fall to her corruption, they all believe her lies...maybe...well, we're not sure. Alice has very obviously told them to block all our accounts online and heavily monitors their emails, we even believe she posts as the children saying horrible things to us. One of the children, the youngest, Elaine, is unphased by her mother thankfully. Rare times we see her online (with a webcam as proof) and she says she misses her sisters.
Alice periodically sends horrible emails to us...mainly targetted at Francine who is the most gullible of the three sisters still in contact with each other. This leaves Francine in tears often. It's obvious she doesn't want the girls to testify.
Alice also spreads lies saying the girls are trying to break up the family, lies to friends of the family and such, we are thankfully not in contact with them anymore, but odd runnins just earn us cold shoulders from them now. She says the children will be taken away from her, the prosecutor (known as CAS here) ensures this is not the case...unless Alice keeps displaying that she is not an adequate parent.
Brandon is also not allowed to be with the family during this time, some child care workers catch him at the house during thanksgiving and Aunt Candice admits to seeing him there. (Alice has started letting Aunt Candice and her parents see the children again).
Court time arrives, the sisters are emotionally drained as you can imagine but they testify anyways. Aunt Candice has chosen not to take sides but to act as a support system for those who need it. We respect this choice.
Court, from what I hear (I had to work during court times), consists of the two sisters giving their testimonies, and Irene referring to her original testimony as "My Lie" the entire time. Alice's side constantly blames my wife and the two sisters for plotting against Brandon to get him taken away from the family stating that they never liked him. It's true, they don't like him but the idea of this being a plot is laughable.
The judge finds Brandon 'Not-guilty' because he/she can't fully believe Brandon is 100% guilty with no shadow of a doubt. The girls are all distraught, they were so sure justice would be served. Doubt seeds itself in Aunt Candice's mind. From now on Aunt Candice requests not to be involved in any court discussions, we oblige.
Time passes, no changes. Brandon moves back in with Alice but CAS requests he takes some courses in anger management and such. Brandon refuses. This incites court case #2.
While waiting for court case #2 my wife and I visit a theme park in a nearby city and 'accidentally' run into Aunt Candice who has taken Irene, the youngest sibling, here. Irene is excstatic to see her older sister and they spend the day together going on rides (even though my wife can barely take them). To this day we know Irene has not told her mother we were there.
Both Francine and my wife agree to testify for court case #2 (Harriot refuses, she has seen enough court time). This case is not to proove he's guilty, that, of course, cannot be done. This case is to try to keep Brandon away from the children unless he goes through mandatory therapy and regular visits. The lawyer tells my wife there's a much higher chance this will go through since the judge doesn't need to be 100% sure now, he/she just needs to be 51% sure.
Both sisters testify but only see the beginning of the preceedings. This case is apparently calling in multiple witnesses and all the children to get a reasonable assessment.
That was...about two or three weeks ago. Last night both my wife and Francine get an email from Aunt Candice stating that what they did was wrong and that they're trying to get the kids taken away from Alice. It's very obvious Alice has been talking to her.
Francine, angered by these accusations calls Aunt Candice up and angrily bitches her out. My wife calms Francine down afterwards (despite being angry herself) and sends a civil email back to Aunt Candice clarifying the situation.
Aunt Candice doesn't take, she responds accusing my wife of lying. It's apparent she's taken sides now.
I apologise for the snobbery, it's the only way I could type this without getting enraged.
What do I do? Is there anything I can do? I get so angry every time her mother pulls something new but I can't do anything.