So, I've been wearing 12Cs for about four years. I thought to myself the other day, "These are kinda old and crappy and also I've had constant bruising on my sides for six months, maybe it's time to buy new bras..." So I went to the Mid Valley lingerie shop (SO MUCH PINK), and awkwardly explained that I did not in fact know what size I was. So this lovely tiny lady helps me try on a couple. And guess what? 10DD-10E! Wow, right? That totally explains the bruises. Mum's response was "OOHH, Mummy's big girl!" And now I feel faintly self-conscious about my figure, even I know that I haven't actually changed in the last few months, just been quantified.
Also I told this story to one of my best friends and she gave me a high five.
So, I missed the from the jazz cafe last night, the last bus in the tunnel so I have to catch it on the street. I leave with a good leeway and make my way to the bus stop in front of the Westin. Rich hotel with lots of camera and security. I thought I would be safe. I was.
People in the Subaru, not so much. I hear yelling and I see a very drunk individual in a puffy Adidas jacket, squaring off against a Subaru, honestly, picture the car bonus round from Street Fighter 2 and picture someone very dirty and drunk egging the car on to fight them. Eventually, the car made it out of the parking lot and to a light about 1 block down.
I'm certain they were talking about the disagreement this man had with their car, maybe a Subaru stole his girlfriend.
The man wanted to continue the conversation, picture Jim Carrey as the riddler, doing that lanky, very fast high step he does with his knees practically touching his forehead and his ass pointing like and arrow. I saw this gentleman do that run for 30 feet to catch up to the subaru and resume their discussion. My bus arrived and as it pulled away, I saw the Subaru pull some maneuvers I had not seen since driving school on GTA:SA. I assume they got away.
tl;dr Drunk Guy vs. Subaru
Round 1
FIGHT!
GOD! I am so fucking happy I don't work in downtown Seattle anymore at 1 am. Too many crazies.
So, I've been wearing 12Cs for about four years. I thought to myself the other day, "These are kinda old and crappy and also I've had constant bruising on my sides for six months, maybe it's time to buy new bras..." So I went to the Mid Valley lingerie shop (SO MUCH PINK), and awkwardly explained that I did not in fact know what size I was. So this lovely tiny lady helps me try on a couple. And guess what? 10DD-10E! Wow, right? That totally explains the bruises. Mum's response was "OOHH, Mummy's big girl!" And now I feel faintly self-conscious about my figure, even I know that I haven't actually changed in the last few months, just been quantified.
Also I told this story to one of my best friends and she gave me a high five.
My great grandmother grew up in the flapper era, so she was upset at her ample bust for a while, but she was able to learn that no matter what the fashion of the times might be big boobs are always popular.
So, I've been wearing 12Cs for about four years. I thought to myself the other day, "These are kinda old and crappy and also I've had constant bruising on my sides for six months, maybe it's time to buy new bras..." So I went to the Mid Valley lingerie shop (SO MUCH PINK), and awkwardly explained that I did not in fact know what size I was. So this lovely tiny lady helps me try on a couple. And guess what? 10DD-10E! Wow, right? That totally explains the bruises. Mum's response was "OOHH, Mummy's big girl!" And now I feel faintly self-conscious about my figure, even I know that I haven't actually changed in the last few months, just been quantified.
Also I told this story to one of my best friends and she gave me a high five.
Pictures?
Of...the bruises? They've faded now. Nearly. >.> But seriously not going to happen.
I got a fucked up story. This doesn't involve me but rather some coworkers.
This one dude, we'll call him John (no real names used here) is kind of a weird nerdy guy.. but at first sight nothing creepy. Well apparently he has/had a crush on this girl at work, we'll call her Jane. So the other night Jane and John are talking on msn after work... and John mentions that hes into writing. So Jane, being polite, and thinking it was something along the lines of poetry or something, says "oh can you send me something you've written?".
Well. It turns out this piece of writing is actually a 10 page, typed, pornographic tale featuring john, jane, and also a third coworker we'll call Steve. Jane promptly freaks the fuck out, blocks him from all conversation and then a couple of days later tells Steve about the story, and sends him it.
Steve told me about this at work today.
I haven't read it and I don't intend to, but from the words of steve "I've watched a lot of porn and there was some pretty fucked up shit in that story man, waaay more fucked than any porn I've ever seen".
You have to get this story and give us some choice excerpts.
I'm terrified to read it. Its apparently really long.
I'm also terrified that there are stories featuring me.
He must not be watching his porn on the internet.
I dunno man.... this guy spends a lot of time on the computer, from talking to him the other day I know he has around ten level 80 WOW characters...
Man I sat NEXT to this guy up until yesterday
Al_wat on
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admanbunionize your workplaceSeattle, WARegistered Userregular
edited December 2009
You'd think one would be able to tell the difference between guy-who's-kinda-nerdy and guy-who-thinks-it's-socially-acceptable-to-share-written-porn-featuring-coworker. The social-dysfunction gap seems large enough to be immediately apparent.
Thats just it. It takes several levels of fuckedness to get to the point where you are doing that. I never got the opinion from talking to him that he was this fucked up.
Then again, I never got into that big of conversations with him.
Like writing porn featuring your co-workers? Ok if you have hot co-workers I can understand fantasizing about them at least. Writing porn? Nah man.
But sharing office porn with the fucking subject? In what way would anyone ever think this was even a remotely acceptable thing? That takes so very much fuckupitude.
You have to get this story and give us some choice excerpts.
I'm terrified to read it. Its apparently really long.
I'm also terrified that there are stories featuring me.
He must not be watching his porn on the internet.
I dunno man.... this guy spends a lot of time on the computer, from talking to him the other day I know he has around ten level 80 WOW characters...
Man I sat NEXT to this guy up until yesterday
I mean the guy who said he never saw anything as strange and fucked up as what he read. Seriously, there is a lot of fucked up shit there that I've seen accidentally, let alone on purpose.
Improvolone on
Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
Like writing porn featuring your co-workers? Ok if you have hot co-workers I can understand fantasizing about them at least. Writing porn? Nah man.
But sharing office porn with the fucking subject? In what way would anyone ever think this was even a remotely acceptable thing? That takes so very much fuckupitude.
Somone's gonna end up in the bathroom stall next to his and he'll start narrating how he wants events to unfold, mumbling under his breath.
MetroidZoid on
Steam
3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
Sir CarcassI have been shown the end of my worldRound Rock, TXRegistered Userregular
edited December 2009
I picture the outcome he imagined in his head was much different than what happened. He probably saw himself sending it, her reading, then saying something like, "You wrote this?" "Yes." "These people, are they you, me, and Steve from work?" "That's right." "Mmm, I must say I'm intrigued. Would you like to make this a reality?" "Yes please." "I'm available after 8..."
That's how it usually goes in my head, anyway.
Sir Carcass on
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admanbunionize your workplaceSeattle, WARegistered Userregular
I picture the outcome he imagined in his head was much different than what happened. He probably saw himself sending it, her reading, then saying something like, "You wrote this?" "Yes." "These people, are they you, me, and Steve from work?" "That's right." "Mmm, I must say I'm intrigued. Would you like to make this a reality?" "Yes please." "I'm available after 8..."
That's how it usually goes in my head, anyway.
Yeah but that little voice on the side that's saying, "This won't actually happen and would in fact be horribly inappropriate"? That's what we call social adeptness.
His acquiring of said porn story would be a strange and embarrassing moment in itself!
"Hey, remember that porn story starring you?"
"Uh yeah?"
"... Could I get a copy of it?"
"..."
His acquiring of said porn story would be a strange and embarrassing moment in itself!
"Hey, remember that porn story starring you?"
"Uh yeah?"
"... Could I get a copy of it?"
"..."
"Look, I wouldn't usually ask, but these guys I don't know on a forum you don't know have been asking for it, and you know how I am with peer pressure. Remember the last Christmas party? With the... yeah, you remember! Well, it's like that, only with office porn prose."
Our office Xmas party was tonight, and we went to Bucca di Beppo (imagine a so-hokily-stereotyped-it's-almost-offensive Italian TGIFridays if you don't know what that is). Loud, lots of talking, food everywhere, but few people drinking.
It comes to pass that my boss is incredibly innocent when it comes to the ways of the Internet. Like, never-heard-of-Urban-Dictionary innocent, so of course we're making lots of horrible comments and laughing at the looks on his face when someone explains it to him. Note that we're not doing this (just) because we're terrible people who love despoiling innocence; he was gleefully taking this in like an eighth-grader who finds a book of dirty jokes behind the liquor store.
After dessert has been served (strawberry cheesecake and fudge cake) and we've all eaten to the point of explosion, the Shocker comes up in conversation. A few whispered attempts of the rhyming couplet don't make the lightbulb go on for him. I say "Let me make this clear for you," and proceed to Shock the dishes of strawberry sauce and the fudge directly in front of him. Comprehension dawns, laughter all around, etc.
While wiping my hand off I noticed the CEO staring fixedly in my direction from across the room. I'm hoping he doesn't understand what just happened there.
TL;DR: graphically molested a dessert plate in front of a person with the ability to fire me.
Bursar on
GNU Terry Pratchett
PSN: Wstfgl | GamerTag: An Evil Plan | Battle.net: FallenIdle#1970
Hit me up on BoardGameArena! User: Loaded D1
Love this thread. Time to contribute. This happened to me a couple of years ago, definitely strange and kinda embarrassing I suppose...
I was at university and had a part time job at a department store, I was ill at the time of this incident; symptoms involved shooting pain all over my body, disorientation and inability to sleep. It was a very memorable pain that I have not experienced since.
Anyway, it was Wednesday night; I had work the next day. I take it easy and get an early night, eventually manage to fall asleep. When I wake up, I'm sweating like crazy, the slightest movement caused me agony, my weird illness had gotten worse. Checked my alarm clock, 9:00, I start work at 9:30, damn it. There is no way I'm making it to my 8 hour shift in this state... I really need a Doctor.
I try to call work to let them know I will not be in. An automated response informs me; 'please call back another time'. What!? Are the store phones down?? I try to call my local surgery, no answer. This isn't going well, it's about a half mile walk to my Doctor's, by looking at me they'll be able to tell it's an emergency.
With every joint and muscle on fire it's too painful to change clothes, I carefully navigate the stairs and stagger out of my flat in what was essentially my PJ's. I venture off; it's a half a mile walk through the town centre to get to my local surgery.
It was barely light out, shops were only just opening up. I must have been getting estranged looks from the public but I was delirious and busy concentrating on not collapsing, so I didn't notice. I couldn't figure it out, but something wasn't right.
Finally, I make it to my doctor's surgery, I go to enter and the doors locked... WHAT?? It was 9.30 and I know the surgery opens at 8:00! I didn't want to disturb people at this time in the morning, but I was near tears at this point, confused and freaking out. I called a friend and said something like:
"Hey man you've got to help me what the hell is going on?? I feel like I am dying, I'm late for work, can't get hold of a Doctor or my job... And what the fuck is it with the weather!!?"
It must have taken him about 15 minutes to convince me before I realized, it's 9pm, not am. God damn 12 hour clock, I must've slept for about 2 hours. Shops weren't opening, they were closing. It's not a weird morning light it was just getting darker. No one was answering my calls because they were shut. I was so out of it; when it was explained to me that it was Wednesday night not Thursday morning, my first thought was that I had been asleep for a week.
He eventually calmed me down and in my pyjamas; off I went to A&E for a long wait and some strong pain meds. Major, major mindfuck.
Love this thread. Time to contribute. This happened to me a couple of years ago, definitely strange and kinda embarrassing I suppose...
I was at university and had a part time job at a department store, I was ill at the time of this incident; symptoms involved shooting pain all over my body, disorientation and inability to sleep. It was a very memorable pain that I have not experienced since.
Anyway, it was Wednesday night; I had work the next day. I take it easy and get an early night, eventually manage to fall asleep. When I wake up, I'm sweating like crazy, the slightest movement caused me agony, my weird illness had gotten worse. Checked my alarm clock, 9:00, I start work at 9:30, damn it. There is no way I'm making it to my 8 hour shift in this state... I really need a Doctor.
I try to call work to let them know I will not be in. An automated response informs me; 'please call back another time'. What!? Are the store phones down?? I try to call my local surgery, no answer. This isn't going well, it's about a half mile walk to my Doctor's, by looking at me they'll be able to tell it's an emergency.
With every joint and muscle on fire it's too painful to change clothes, I carefully navigate the stairs and stagger out of my flat in what was essentially my PJ's. I venture off; it's a half a mile walk through the town centre to get to my local surgery.
It was barely light out, shops were only just opening up. I must have been getting estranged looks from the public but I was delirious and busy concentrating on not collapsing, so I didn't notice. I couldn't figure it out, but something wasn't right.
Finally, I make it to my doctor's surgery, I go to enter and the doors locked... WHAT?? It was 9.30 and I know the surgery opens at 8:00! I didn't want to disturb people at this time in the morning, but I was near tears at this point, confused and freaking out. I called a friend and said something like:
"Hey man you've got to help me what the hell is going on?? I feel like I am dying, I'm late for work, can't get hold of a Doctor or my job... And what the fuck is it with the weather!!?"
It must have taken him about 15 minutes to convince me before I realized, it's 9pm, not am. God damn 12 hour clock, I must've slept for about 2 hours. Shops weren't opening, they were closing. It's not a weird morning light it was just getting darker. No one was answering my calls because they were shut. I was so out of it; when it was explained to me that it was Wednesday night not Thursday morning, my first thought was that I had been asleep for a week.
He eventually calmed me down and in my pyjamas; off I went to A&E for a long wait and some strong pain meds. Major, major mindfuck.
Wow, I don't know if that's strange or embarrassing as much as it just plain sucks. Did you ever figure out what was wrong?
And yeah, I've definitely laid down for a nap after work and woken up at 6:30 p.m., but I was so disoriented by the nap that I thought it was 6:30 a.m. and therefore time to go to work. One time I started making a pot of coffee before I caught on. >.< Dunno what it is but I get badly disoriented by naps. And I don't have the excuse of mindblowing pain to explain why I can't think clearly...
Holiday Christmas party was in full swing and going great. Everyone is munching down on food and cakes and some wine, and then it hits. MAN I gotta GO!. I keep my composure and tell some lab mates I will be right back, and head off to the restroom rather quickly. I slam open the door (a bit hard; partially on accident, partially because I had to go and am greeted with an...interesting sight. There are three urinals and two stalls, arranged so that you head right from the door, hit the urinals and then can walk straight into one of the stalls. The stall on the right is broken. Fuck. But, the stall on the left is occupied by a guy standing up, peeing, with his pants down to his ankles and the door wide open. His underpants were still up, which was confusing, but I literally just ground to a halt and stared in utter confusion. The urinals were free, so why the hell did he choose the toilet? Moreover, why did he pull his pants down all the way for this? Are scrubs really that hard to pee with? WHY IS THE DOOR OPEN? I had to stand there awkwardly while he finished, pulled his pants up, and then washed his hands and left.
Also- I miss Bucca di Beppo! Good food, but the place is both a bit offensive and a bit creepy.
Posts
Pictures?
People in the Subaru, not so much. I hear yelling and I see a very drunk individual in a puffy Adidas jacket, squaring off against a Subaru, honestly, picture the car bonus round from Street Fighter 2 and picture someone very dirty and drunk egging the car on to fight them. Eventually, the car made it out of the parking lot and to a light about 1 block down.
I'm certain they were talking about the disagreement this man had with their car, maybe a Subaru stole his girlfriend.
The man wanted to continue the conversation, picture Jim Carrey as the riddler, doing that lanky, very fast high step he does with his knees practically touching his forehead and his ass pointing like and arrow. I saw this gentleman do that run for 30 feet to catch up to the subaru and resume their discussion. My bus arrived and as it pulled away, I saw the Subaru pull some maneuvers I had not seen since driving school on GTA:SA. I assume they got away.
tl;dr Drunk Guy vs. Subaru
Round 1
FIGHT!
GOD! I am so fucking happy I don't work in downtown Seattle anymore at 1 am. Too many crazies.
http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=16534
My great grandmother grew up in the flapper era, so she was upset at her ample bust for a while, but she was able to learn that no matter what the fashion of the times might be big boobs are always popular.
Of...the bruises? They've faded now. Nearly. >.> But seriously not going to happen.
Do eeeeeeet!
This one dude, we'll call him John (no real names used here) is kind of a weird nerdy guy.. but at first sight nothing creepy. Well apparently he has/had a crush on this girl at work, we'll call her Jane. So the other night Jane and John are talking on msn after work... and John mentions that hes into writing. So Jane, being polite, and thinking it was something along the lines of poetry or something, says "oh can you send me something you've written?".
Well. It turns out this piece of writing is actually a 10 page, typed, pornographic tale featuring john, jane, and also a third coworker we'll call Steve. Jane promptly freaks the fuck out, blocks him from all conversation and then a couple of days later tells Steve about the story, and sends him it.
Steve told me about this at work today.
I haven't read it and I don't intend to, but from the words of steve "I've watched a lot of porn and there was some pretty fucked up shit in that story man, waaay more fucked than any porn I've ever seen".
WHAT
THE FUCK
You have to get this story and give us some choice excerpts.
I'm terrified to read it. Its apparently really long.
I'm also terrified that there are stories featuring me.
I dunno man.... this guy spends a lot of time on the computer, from talking to him the other day I know he has around ten level 80 WOW characters...
Man I sat NEXT to this guy up until yesterday
But no.
But no.
Then again, I never got into that big of conversations with him.
But sharing office porn with the fucking subject? In what way would anyone ever think this was even a remotely acceptable thing? That takes so very much fuckupitude.
So he could potentially lose his job because of this.
Like, he made a gigantic failure of judgment by sharing that with a coworker.
Plus hes fucked in the head.
You can mention them, you just can't link to them.
Somone's gonna end up in the bathroom stall next to his and he'll start narrating how he wants events to unfold, mumbling under his breath.
3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
Visit him at Monstrous Pigments' Instagram and Facebook pages!
My morbid curiosity is begging you to.
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
I never finish anyth
DOOO IIIT.
This guy knows what's up.
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
That's how it usually goes in my head, anyway.
Yeah but that little voice on the side that's saying, "This won't actually happen and would in fact be horribly inappropriate"? That's what we call social adeptness.
There's probably poop involved.
Which would fit right in here.
maek poast.
"Hey, remember that porn story starring you?"
"Uh yeah?"
"... Could I get a copy of it?"
"..."
It comes to pass that my boss is incredibly innocent when it comes to the ways of the Internet. Like, never-heard-of-Urban-Dictionary innocent, so of course we're making lots of horrible comments and laughing at the looks on his face when someone explains it to him. Note that we're not doing this (just) because we're terrible people who love despoiling innocence; he was gleefully taking this in like an eighth-grader who finds a book of dirty jokes behind the liquor store.
After dessert has been served (strawberry cheesecake and fudge cake) and we've all eaten to the point of explosion, the Shocker comes up in conversation. A few whispered attempts of the rhyming couplet don't make the lightbulb go on for him. I say "Let me make this clear for you," and proceed to Shock the dishes of strawberry sauce and the fudge directly in front of him. Comprehension dawns, laughter all around, etc.
While wiping my hand off I noticed the CEO staring fixedly in my direction from across the room. I'm hoping he doesn't understand what just happened there.
TL;DR: graphically molested a dessert plate in front of a person with the ability to fire me.
PSN: Wstfgl | GamerTag: An Evil Plan | Battle.net: FallenIdle#1970
Hit me up on BoardGameArena! User: Loaded D1
I'd imagine that to be pretty painful, and am now relieved that it was only you fingering some fudge.
I also never thought I'd type a sentence like that.
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
sorry guys.
Anyway, it was Wednesday night; I had work the next day. I take it easy and get an early night, eventually manage to fall asleep. When I wake up, I'm sweating like crazy, the slightest movement caused me agony, my weird illness had gotten worse. Checked my alarm clock, 9:00, I start work at 9:30, damn it. There is no way I'm making it to my 8 hour shift in this state... I really need a Doctor.
I try to call work to let them know I will not be in. An automated response informs me; 'please call back another time'. What!? Are the store phones down?? I try to call my local surgery, no answer. This isn't going well, it's about a half mile walk to my Doctor's, by looking at me they'll be able to tell it's an emergency.
With every joint and muscle on fire it's too painful to change clothes, I carefully navigate the stairs and stagger out of my flat in what was essentially my PJ's. I venture off; it's a half a mile walk through the town centre to get to my local surgery.
It was barely light out, shops were only just opening up. I must have been getting estranged looks from the public but I was delirious and busy concentrating on not collapsing, so I didn't notice. I couldn't figure it out, but something wasn't right.
Finally, I make it to my doctor's surgery, I go to enter and the doors locked... WHAT?? It was 9.30 and I know the surgery opens at 8:00! I didn't want to disturb people at this time in the morning, but I was near tears at this point, confused and freaking out. I called a friend and said something like:
"Hey man you've got to help me what the hell is going on?? I feel like I am dying, I'm late for work, can't get hold of a Doctor or my job... And what the fuck is it with the weather!!?"
It must have taken him about 15 minutes to convince me before I realized, it's 9pm, not am. God damn 12 hour clock, I must've slept for about 2 hours. Shops weren't opening, they were closing. It's not a weird morning light it was just getting darker. No one was answering my calls because they were shut. I was so out of it; when it was explained to me that it was Wednesday night not Thursday morning, my first thought was that I had been asleep for a week.
He eventually calmed me down and in my pyjamas; off I went to A&E for a long wait and some strong pain meds. Major, major mindfuck.
And yeah, I've definitely laid down for a nap after work and woken up at 6:30 p.m., but I was so disoriented by the nap that I thought it was 6:30 a.m. and therefore time to go to work. One time I started making a pot of coffee before I caught on. >.< Dunno what it is but I get badly disoriented by naps. And I don't have the excuse of mindblowing pain to explain why I can't think clearly...
Also- I miss Bucca di Beppo! Good food, but the place is both a bit offensive and a bit creepy.
Totally stolen for my new sig.