NFL Football 2009: Game of the week in progress

Elki · December 2009

The AFC division champs:

Colts - fuck the Colts
Pats - fuck Boston
Chargers - Chargers

I wish them all pain, suffering, and epic playoff collapses.

Good luck: Bengals, Broncos, Fins.

---

Fantasy Football

F&L:
1/2 - Dynagrip's Fighting Spaniels vs. FirstComradeStalin's Stalin & TheComrades
3/4 - Picardathon's Electric Boogaloo vs. Dyscord's Methamphibians
5/6 - Elki's Black September vs. dlinfiniti's sp00ns
7/8 - BubbaT's Dungy is My Co-pilot vs. Gundam's Grassholes
9 - Veevee's Dancing Dongeroos
10 - clownfood's Zombies

RwnS:

1/2 - Frosteey's Shorookens vs. Junior Yank's Local Sports Team
3/4 - Visiblehowl's Choo Choo Bears vs. Simon Moon's Statistical Anomaly
5/6 - zeeny's PA 2006 Champs vs. Dyscord's Butterless!
7/8 - culdrasbit*h's Maclin's Morons vs. Idx86's Soul Crushers
9 - fortis's Mennonite Mafia
10 - Zero...Cows?
11 - joemunkeh's Banana Grabbers
12 - Inquisitor's Hooligans

PantsB · December 2009

Elki wrote: »

Pats - fuck Boston

Post-coital cigarette and a pity VY non-safety

Kagera · December 2009

Fuck Boston, but fuck Philly more.

ALL OF Philly.

If Philly's population all of the sudden died it wouldn't even be front page news.

Armored Gorilla · December 2009

PantsB wrote: »

Elki wrote: »

Pats - fuck Boston

Post-coital cigarette and a pity VY non-safety

LOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A

jkylefulton · December 2009

Kagera wrote: »

Fuck Boston, but fuck Philly more.

ALL OF Philly.

If Philly's population all of the sudden died it wouldn't even be front page news.

You could say this about the entire population of Pennsylvania.

Elki · December 2009

PantsB wrote: »

Elki wrote: »

Pats - fuck Boston

Post-coital cigarette and a pity VY non-safety

Without that one, Kerry Collins stays on for many more games. Yesterday's pasting was much worse (unless that one guy I know ends up getting fired).

Anyways: Haynesworth tried to get teammates to come late to practice

I miss his fat-linebreaking-ass.

sportzboytjw · December 2009

Chuck Klosterman had this to say:

Shawne Merriman weighs 272 pounds.

This is six pounds less than Anthony Muñoz, probably the most dominating left tackle of all time. Shawne Merriman also runs the 40-yard dash in 4.61 seconds. When Jerry Rice attended the NFL draft combine in 1985, he reportedly ran a 4.60; Rice would go on to gain more than 23,000 all-purpose yards while scoring 207 career touchdowns.

You do not need Mel Kiper's hard drive to deduce what these numbers mean: As an outside linebacker, Shawne Merriman is almost as big as the best offensive tackle who ever played and almost as fast as the best wide receiver who ever played. He is a rhinoceros who moves like a deer. Common sense suggests this combination should not be possible. It isn't.

Shawne Merriman: As big as the best left tackle of all time, as fast as the greatest wide receiver ever.

Merriman was suspended from the San Diego Chargers for four games last season after testing positive for the anabolic steroid nandrolone. He argues this was the accidental result of a tainted nutritional supplement. "I think two out of 10 people will always believe I did something intentional, or still think I'm doing something," Merriman has said. If this is truly what he believes, no one will ever accuse him of pragmatism. Virtually everyone who follows football assumes Merriman used drugs to turn himself into the kind of hitting machine who can miss four games and still lead the league with 17 sacks. He has been caught and penalized, and the public shall forever remain incredulous of who he is and what he does.

The public knows the truth, or at least part of it. And knowing this partial truth, the public will return to ignoring this conundrum almost entirely.

The public will respond by renewing its subscription to NFL Sunday Ticket, where it will regularly watch dozens of 272-pound men accelerate at speeds that would have made them Olympic sprinters during the 1960s. This, it seems, is the contemporary relationship most people have with drugs and pro football: unconditional distrust of anyone who tests positive, balanced by an unconscious willingness to overlook all the physical impossibilities they see. This is partially understandable; socially, sports serve an escapist purpose. Football players are real people, but they exist in a constructed nonreality. Within the context of any given game, nobody cares how a certain linebacker got so big while remaining so fast. Part of what makes football successful is its detachment from day-to-day life. For 60 minutes, it subsists in a vacuum. But this detachment is going to become more complicated in the coming years, mostly because reality is evolving, becoming harder to block out. And the Evolved Reality is this: It's starting to feel like a significant segment of the NFL is on drugs.

As a consequence, you will have to make some decisions.

Not commissioner Roger Goodell.

You.

Ringo · December 2009

So I should be taking steroids to watch football more better?

Kagera · December 2009

I don't feel sufficiently qualified to make judgments on the abilities of the human body and I'm not sure that dude is either.

Suffice it to say I need more evidence than 'ZOMG PEOPLE RUN FASTER NOW' before deducing they are all roided up.

Because technology improves, like that fucking swimsuit that all the swimmers wore in the Summer Olympics.

So, you know, provide more evidence ya douchebag.

dlinfiniti · December 2009

elks you're goin down you might as well get the #6 tattooed on your butt now

Elki · December 2009

dlinfiniti wrote: »

elks you're goin down you might as well get the #6 tattooed on your butt now

I'm in the exact same spot I was at last year. I was destined to win this matchup.

variant · December 2009

What about the 19 out of 20 random tests that merriman passed, I suppose he fooled the test 19 times, right?

Also Merriman weights 260 not 272.

BubbaT · December 2009

Elki wrote: »

Fantasy Football

F&L:
1/2 - Dynagrip's Fighting Spaniels vs. FirstComradeStalin's Stalin & TheComrades
3/4 - Picardathon's Electric Boogaloo vs. Dyscord's Methamphibians
5/6 - Elki's Black September vs. dlinfiniti's sp00ns
7/8 - BubbaT's Dungy is My Co-pilot vs. Gundam's Grassholes
9 - Veevee's Dancing Dongeroos
10 - clownfood's Zombies

RwnS: (somebody in that league should make a version of that one for me)

I didn't even know there was a loser's bracket. Holy carp I'm gonna get relegated!

PantsB · December 2009

variant wrote: »

What about the 19 out of 20 random tests that merriman passed, I suppose he fooled the test 19 times, right?

Also Merriman weights 260 not 272.

Yes, that's exactly what happened. Or were you under the impression that people who get caught get caught every time? Its called a masking agent.

Elki · December 2009

BubbaT wrote: »

Elki wrote: »

Fantasy Football

F&L:
1/2 - Dynagrip's Fighting Spaniels vs. FirstComradeStalin's Stalin & TheComrades
3/4 - Picardathon's Electric Boogaloo vs. Dyscord's Methamphibians
5/6 - Elki's Black September vs. dlinfiniti's sp00ns
7/8 - BubbaT's Dungy is My Co-pilot vs. Gundam's Grassholes
9 - Veevee's Dancing Dongeroos
10 - clownfood's Zombies

RwnS: (somebody in that league should make a version of that one for me)

I didn't even know there was a loser's bracket. Holy carp I'm gonna get relegated!

You could get relegated. The loser goes down, the winner stays.

variant · December 2009

PantsB wrote: »

variant wrote: »

What about the 19 out of 20 random tests that merriman passed, I suppose he fooled the test 19 times, right?

Also Merriman weights 260 not 272.

Yes, that's exactly what happened. Or were you under the impression that people who get caught get caught every time? Its called a masking agent.

And he just forgot that one time they happen to check him! because millions of dollars arent on the line, right?

sportzboytjw · December 2009

Kagera wrote: »

I don't feel sufficiently qualified to make judgments on the abilities of the human body and I'm not sure that dude is either.

Suffice it to say I need more evidence than 'ZOMG PEOPLE RUN FASTER NOW' before deducing they are all roided up.

Because technology improves, like that fucking swimsuit that all the swimmers wore in the Summer Olympics.

So, you know, provide more evidence ya douchebag.

I mean... what technology is making him run that much faster? Or weigh that much more?

Also, 19/20 means he screwed up once, there was a tainted supplement, or that he screwed up his masking agent once. I'm not saying he is 100%-certain a user... but to say he is 100% not a user when he is enormous, fast, has tested positive and beat up his girlfriend (I know, she had it coming, etc) is turning a blind eye to what the evidence may be pointing to.

clownfood · December 2009

I may be going down...but I will not be alone!!

Do I get special consideration if I win 2 of the other leagues?

Frosteey · December 2009

RwnS:

1/2 - Frosteey's Shorookens vs. Junior Yank's Local Sports Team
3/4 - Visiblehowl's Choo Choo Bears vs. Simon Moon's Statistical Anomaly
5/6 - zeeny's PA 2006 Champs vs. Dyscord's Butterless!
7/8 - culdrasbit*h's Maclin's Morons vs. Idx86's Soul Crushers
9 - fortis's Mennonite Mafia
10 - Zero...Cows?
11 - joemunkeh's Banana Grabbers
12 - Inquisitor's Hooligans

Grey is inactive for most of the season.

No idea who Zero...Cows? is.

Also, for auction league- We really need a better name for the auction league if we do it again : (

1/2 - no clue whattonameyet vs. zeeny's Animalistic Daisies
3/4 - Frosteey's Disco Ninja Frogs vs. In Search of Sunrise
5/6 - to be announced vs. fortis's Mennonite Mafia
7/8 - Tasty Clowns vs. Autodraft Bandits
9/10 - visiblehowl's Molasses Lasses vs. Team Meekin
11/12 - Pioneers of Octagon Pants vs. joemunkeh's Banana Grabbers

Don't know a lot of the owners : ( And a lot of the people who had teams in two leagues seemed to neglect this one. I picked up a bunch of players I never should have gotten off of waivers near the end of the season (Still lost in the playoffs, though!). I think it being on ESPN when everything else is Yahoo might have something to do with it. That and people being terrible : ( And the byes : (

hippofant · December 2009

variant wrote: »

PantsB wrote: »

variant wrote: »

What about the 19 out of 20 random tests that merriman passed, I suppose he fooled the test 19 times, right?

Also Merriman weights 260 not 272.

Yes, that's exactly what happened. Or were you under the impression that people who get caught get caught every time? Its called a masking agent.

And he just forgot that one time they happen to check him! because millions of dollars arent on the line, right?

Dude, what is your reasoning here? So if he gets checked 20 times and fails 5 times, then it's a REAL failure? Like what?

There's an f-ing reason they tested him and every other NFL player (?) 20 times - because the test isn't reliable enough to catch them if they're only tested once. My brain is like... exploding with your illogic here - you're implicitly challenging the testing methodology they use, but by suggesting that the test is actually far more effective than they think it is.

variant · December 2009

The 20 tests were over the span of 2005 - 2006 I think. If he had been juicing throughout his career up, then yes I'd expect more than just one positive. Implying that he's a roid raging juice monkey because he tested positive once in several years of random checks sounds as illogical to me as I apparently do to you.

There are plenty of big guys in the NFL, some even bigger than him and faster than him (Julius Peppers and Jason Taylor).

Also, whoever said that he fell off after the incident --- he had the 17 sack season the year following...

hippofant · December 2009

variant wrote: »

The 20 tests were over the span of 2005 - 2006 I think. If he had been juicing throughout his career up, then yes I'd expect more than just one positive. Implying that he's a roid raging juice monkey because he tested positive once in several years of random checks sounds as illogical to me as I apparently do to you.

Man, I'm not saying anything about Shawne Merriman; I just don't understand your reasoning. Everybody passes the first 19 times. That's the reason they test 20 times. It's simply how steroid testing in sports works. Olympic sprinters who get booted based on one test - they passed the test umpteen times getting to the Olympics. Or the MLB steroid scandal.

19 passes are simply not indicative of anything when the expectation is that people on steroids will pass 19 times out of 20. Hell, that fits with the standard North American manufacturing defect rate of 5% even.

Dynagrip · December 2009

variant wrote: »

The 20 tests were over the span of 2005 - 2006 I think. If he had been juicing throughout his career up, then yes I'd expect more than just one positive. Implying that he's a roid raging juice monkey because he tested positive once in several years of random checks sounds as illogical to me as I apparently do to you.

There are plenty of big guys in the NFL, some even bigger than him and faster than him (Julius Peppers and Jason Taylor).

Also, whoever said that he fell off after the incident --- he had the 17 sack season the year following...

Rebuttal to your rebuttal: Your location.

Kagera · December 2009

sportzboytjw wrote: »

Kagera wrote: »

I don't feel sufficiently qualified to make judgments on the abilities of the human body and I'm not sure that dude is either.

Suffice it to say I need more evidence than 'ZOMG PEOPLE RUN FASTER NOW' before deducing they are all roided up.

Because technology improves, like that fucking swimsuit that all the swimmers wore in the Summer Olympics.

So, you know, provide more evidence ya douchebag.

I mean... what technology is making him run that much faster? Or weigh that much more?

Better, lighter pads or training techniques or workout regimen. LEGAL supplements even.

I dunno, as I said I'm no expert. But there are a LOT of things athletes can do today they could not do yesteryear and to use that as evidence of roids is kinda trigger happy IMO.

Although, my gut tells me he is, my mind is saying 'gut isn't evidence'.

Hell I bet Farve's a juicer too. He's consistently shown what he'll do to stay in the game.

sportzboytjw · December 2009

Kagera wrote: »

sportzboytjw wrote: »

Kagera wrote: »

I don't feel sufficiently qualified to make judgments on the abilities of the human body and I'm not sure that dude is either.

Suffice it to say I need more evidence than 'ZOMG PEOPLE RUN FASTER NOW' before deducing they are all roided up.

Because technology improves, like that fucking swimsuit that all the swimmers wore in the Summer Olympics.

So, you know, provide more evidence ya douchebag.

I mean... what technology is making him run that much faster? Or weigh that much more?

Better, lighter pads or training techniques or workout regimen. LEGAL supplements even.

I dunno, as I said I'm no expert. But there are a LOT of things athletes can do today they could not do yesteryear and to use that as evidence of roids is kinda trigger happy IMO.

Although, my gut tells me he is, my mind is saying 'gut isn't evidence'.

Hell I bet Farve's a juicer too. He's consistently shown what he'll do to stay in the game.

Better, lighter pads won't improve your 40 time at the combine. We know that supplements and training regimines have improved, but that much in 40 years?

Kagera · December 2009

sportzboytjw wrote: »

Better, lighter pads won't improve your 40 time at the combine. We know that supplements and training regimines have improved, but that much in 40 years?

Take the World Record for 100m sprint from 40 years ago and compare it to Usain Bolt.

Saying 'but that much??' isn't an argument without some sort of data showing the change really IS that much of an outlier compared to a variety of other athletic accomplishments over the same period.

And even THEN it's only circumstantial because no two sports are going to have the same level of advancement in training and performance.

sportzboytjw · December 2009

Yes, if that was the singular reason we had to believe that he may have roided, it would be flimsy.

JustinSane07 · December 2009

I'm sad you stole the thread from me, Elki.

Kagera · December 2009

sportzboytjw wrote: »

Yes, if that was the singular reason we had to believe that he may have roided, it would be flimsy.

Many jerks who hurt their girlfriends don't use roids.

sportzboytjw · December 2009

And many non-users test positive in random tes... ohh.

Wienke · December 2009

Quarterbacks are pretty much safe from the roids discussion aren't they? A lot of them don't look like they even go to the gym more than once a week (standing next to those other guys out there anyway). I mean, I figured that what seperated a good QB from a bad one was like 80% mental and 20% arm...

Elki · December 2009

I'm thinking of benching Wayne for Henderson.

Slider · December 2009

Wienke wrote: »

Quarterbacks are pretty much safe from the roids discussion aren't they? A lot of them don't look like they even go to the gym more than once a week (standing next to those other guys out there anyway). I mean, I figured that what seperated a good QB from a bad one was like 80% mental and 20% arm...

...and kickers/punters.

Variable · December 2009

troy aikman "the giants haven't won back to back games since late october, so obviously this is a big game for them"

yes. that's why.

Lion · December 2009

Time to watch the Bucs get blown the fuck out.

Oh and the rumor down here is that Tampa is trying to get Cowher as head coach.

Dynagrip · December 2009

Kagera wrote: »

sportzboytjw wrote: »

Better, lighter pads won't improve your 40 time at the combine. We know that supplements and training regimines have improved, but that much in 40 years?

Take the World Record for 100m sprint from 40 years ago and compare it to Usain Bolt.

Saying 'but that much??' isn't an argument without some sort of data showing the change really IS that much of an outlier compared to a variety of other athletic accomplishments over the same period.

And even THEN it's only circumstantial because no two sports are going to have the same level of advancement in training and performance.

A lot of Olympians are probably on some sort of juice as well. Especially sprinters.

I think the Olympics aren't just a demonstration of the best athletes but also a demo of the best doping methods.

PantsB · December 2009

Referee tackles just make you shake your head (to be fair it was only .5 a tackle)

ed
And Maroney loses another fumbles going into the end zone. On the replay its pretty clear he was over the line when he fumbled but I doubt it gets overturned

Podly · December 2009

heh, couldn't even post that the pats offense looks tight before maroney fumbles. :fucking head shake:

PantsB · December 2009

Ball fumbled straight down, hits the middle/ of the goal line and bounces into play where its recovered by the Jags. There isn't a good angle so I bet the call stands...

Yeah bullshit.

Podly · December 2009

:v: :v:

PantsB · December 2009

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!

Although this time it was a much worse call (Jacksonville went for it on 4th and 1 from their 35 on their first drive of the game, 0-0)

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NFL Football 2009: Game of the week in progress

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