My son is almost two and we do many long car trips. I know playing videos for him is going to be a ridiculous benefit, so I want to get set up for that. My headunit is also broken, I can't play CDs. The thing is, I don't know a damned thing about this type of equipment. Here are some things that I think are helpful:
I don't have an iPod, but an aux in is nice
Nissan Xterra, everything is stock.
$400 budget, is this reasonable?
What are good brands to look at? Should I get a separate head unit and DVD player, or should I get something integrated?
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Shop around a bit and I'm sure you can do within your budget.
Crutchfield.com may be the best resource for you to bone up on this kinda stuff. You can put in the type of car you have, then ask all sorts of FAQ questions like "Will this fit my car?" and see instructions on how its done.
You should note that on the Pioneer units, there's a rear monitor hook up as well. You need to buy the screen and wiring, but those can be mounted nearly anywhere (and you can buy some that have mounts that flip-down from the ceiling, if that's your bag)