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Silvestri's "Advice Please" Thread now with web comic!
Silvestri99
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Howdy everyone I've been lurking here for awhile reading and enjoying everyone's work. I figured that this would be a good group to get some feedback from on some of the illustrations I'm working on. Let me know how it is and what I'm missing.
With this one I wanted a background with a jungle feel without being to defined but is it hurting or helping me....
Thanks in advance and I apologize for problems with this post, I'm still trying to figure out how to link to my art...
With this one I wanted a background with a jungle feel without being to defined but is it hurting or helping me....
Thanks in advance and I apologize for problems with this post, I'm still trying to figure out how to link to my art...
Silvestri99 on
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I like the background, and the coloring, and the art in general, but it still falls pretty flat for me unfortunately. The creature on the left is uncomfortably close to the left side of the art. It's difficult to understand what the blue guy is doing, I had a tough time seeing his tiny feet. The composition could be much more exciting. It looks like the blue guy jumped off the cliff to attack the monster. Is it a humorous situation? The placement of his second sword is awkward.
The biggest problem I have with this piece is that it doesn't have a clear message. What are you trying to tell the viewer? How are you trying to make them feel? Conveying this in a more effective manner will, in the end, produce more interesting art.
Sorry if this seems harsh for your first critique, but people are pretty honest around here and want you to improve. Good luck!
Thanks for the pointers and don't worry about being critical. I'll take any advice or comments as long as they are constructive. I agree with you and didn't really see a few of the things you pointed out until you pointed them out. I'm going to make some readjustments and repost. hopefully the next one will convey more of what is supposed to be happening. It's funny how I was worried more about the background and seemed to forget the foreground. Thanks Again!
Anyway, I'd post that image up at twice the size you have. You have details in there that are almost impossible to make out.
One thing though, your blue guys arm are rotated at an angle which makes me completely unsure if he's coming in for an overhead slash or an underarm stab. Also you might want to vary the attack angle of the two sword to make it a little more interesting.
You could also improve the dynamic qualities by playing with canvas dimensions. It's difficult to make an interesting composition with a square, and stretching it in one direction or the other can greatly affect the story you're telling. Stretching it horizontally would give you more room to show the distance of the jump and the surroundings. Stretching it vertically would give you a chance to show more of the monster and the cliff, as well as giving a greater sense of coming down on top of the creature. I would whip up an illustration but I've only got a mouse right now.
And for the record the monster creature looks pretty unwitting and non-threatening, which I think is a great contrast to the crazy blue guy, but I think you could push it further. Maybe by making his teeth even duller or removing them entirely, and softening his beak.
Unless you weren't going for that, in which case do the opposite of what I said.
I'm looking for some suggestions and help in general about how the comic feels. I know it's not going to be hilarious every time and the writing will get better as I get used to doing this on a regular basis. I did read the "How to make web comics" book which was EXTREMELY helpful but I thought this community was the best place to get honest feed back.
Heres the link to my site www.purposelessplay.com and heres the latest comic...
Thanks for taking a look!
This will be here until I receive an apology or Weedlordvegeta get any consequences for being a bully
Also, since you mentioned both PvP and Sheldon I'm guessing that you're already aware of their podcast Webcomics Weekly in which they talk about tips and tricks for webcomikers like yourself. But just in case you HAVEN'T heard of it, well, now I've mentioned it. Give it a search on iTunes!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Also where did his pants go? He had pants in the first one then they were just gone.
I have heard of the podcast and have been listening to it as well as reading the book. You are right on adding in more blacks. I've done it more in previous comics but because of time constraints and perhaps my lack of confidence I haven't been doing it as much lately. I'll start working on that more here with the next few.
Pants.. yeah somehow I forgot to transfer his tool belt to the next set. Consistency is something I'm working on. I'n fact I think i need to dp a character sheet to keep myself organized.
I don't think I'll go to color yet. Again, it's about time. I've got several other projects that I'm trying to do.
Thanks again, this helps me a lot!
The joke is okay, but the description of the room seems more appropriate for a room full of secret prototypes, not a lost and found.