I never spit in public toilets because i'm afraid that a microscopic line of spittle will trail down to the toilet bowl, then upon disconnecting with the main mass slingshot all sorts of nasties into my mouth.
I know that this scenario is unlikely, and possibly even impossible, but it still freaks me out.
man you haven't lived until you've vomited into a public toilet with pee and old shit inside and the mixture splashes back up into your face
hey fun fact the chlorine smell in public pools and stuff isn't actually chlorine itself but chloramine compounds which come from the reaction of pool chlorine and ammonia
i have a terrible bladder though, and am in constant fear of pissing myself while drunk or high
im the same way. once i start drinking i am peeing every 3 seconds. and it sneaks up on me like lightning and i have come close to drunkenly pissing myself so many times. frankly i am lucky its never happened
also one time i had REAAALLY bad constipation. for like, 3 or 4 days straight. it was ready to go to, but when i sat down it felt like trying to push jabba the hutt through a keyhole. i honestly thought i was gonna rip my asshole apart. so i got the great idea to eat an entire can of pringles, which was using that fake butter shit that gave me the runs like whoa. cut to 3 hours later, im releasing waste for a solid minute with the biggest, happiest smile on my face
oh also on the subject of poop, i went to the bathroom at a train station the other day. and in japan they use these squat toilets where its basically just an oblong porcelain hole on the floor. and i stepped into the stall and there were two HUGE logs sitting halfway off the bowl ledge and on the tile floor. it was the biggest poop ive ever seen in japan and i came about half an inch from plowing right into it
hey fun fact the chlorine smell in public pools and stuff isn't actually chlorine itself but chloramine compounds which come from the reaction of pool chlorine and ammonia
I know what semen tastes like because I got curious because girls were always like "ewww it is so gross" and I wanted to know why their sexual discharges were somehow delicious in comparison to that of men.
I do not remember his name, only that we all called him Stinky Mantits.
Stinky Mantits.
One day Stinky was sitting there in class and he had to fart, so he farted. And instead of warm, rank air, his ass released a moderate quantity of shit. Being Stinky, he looked at the clock. Boy, he thinks, maybe I can make it to the end of class before anyone notices!
Only they did, and he finally had to get out prematurely when everyone around him was like "oh my god you shat your pants! get the fuck out of here!"
I did not realize that not shitting your pants was something to be proud of.
Really you guys?
We are really setting the bar low here.
considering how many apparently have shit their pants (and mine), i dont think its an unreasonable place to start
besides, i did invite people to discuss non-pant-shitting related pride, but the only place we've gone so far is semen-tasting
this was not unforeseeable
Houk the Namebringer on
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I Win Swordfightsall the traits of greatnessstarlight at my feetRegistered Userregular
edited January 2010
The last time i shat myself was in ninth grade with the squirrel
the worst time was fifth grade.
I had been feeling sick all day, but in the last ten minutes of the day i knew something was about to get down
The door was open and I sat next to it so i graded my pack and fucking bolted
i got in, started to take off my pants but only got half way but over before my ass decided to forcibly eject the contents of my colon.
i said they were half way down and that is important because like a normal person my ass hole is located there as well so half sprayed the walls, half got clipped by my jeans and ran back against me
i got myself onto the toilet and pooped for about twenty minutes
i didn't get to wipe. wanna know why? in the boy's bathroom, everyone peed on the toilet paper rolls. i don't know why.
when i was sure i was done i walked out of the stall as the janitor walked in. i whispered "I'm so sorry" and ran.
I was so worried about having to see him again the next day. I didn't have to.
He quit.
I Win Swordfights on
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I Win Swordfightsall the traits of greatnessstarlight at my feetRegistered Userregular
edited January 2010
The last time i shat myself was in ninth grade with the squirrel
the worst time was fifth grade.
I had been feeling sick all day, but in the last ten minutes of the day i knew something was about to get down
The door was open and I sat next to it so i grabbed my pack and fucking bolted
i got in, started to take off my pants but only got half way but over before my ass decided to forcibly eject the contents of my colon.
i said they were half way down and that is important because like a normal person my ass hole is located there as well so half sprayed the walls, half got clipped by my jeans and ran back against me
i got myself onto the toilet and pooped for about twenty minutes
i didn't get to wipe. wanna know why? in the boy's bathroom, everyone peed on the toilet paper rolls. i don't know why.
when i was sure i was done i walked out of the stall as the janitor walked in. i whispered "I'm so sorry" and ran.
I was so worried about having to see him again the next day. I didn't have to. He quit.
i don't know why, per se, although during homeroom dude was stressed the fuck out and sweating like a pig and stammering and shit
so maybe he was really sick?
anyway, he let out a fart and in doing so, shit his pants and it stank really bad, everybody knew it, and when he asked to go the bathroom he had a clearly dark spot on the ass of his pants (catholic school, we had uniforms, which included charcoal grey pants that turned black anywhere they got wet)
so, as teenagers are a cruel and evil lot, he was eternally named "shithouse"
which was as clever as such nicknames go, i guess, as his last name was schmaus
the name shithouse and being mocked and derided followed him all through high school and he even found the loser kids rejected by other people rejecting him
i remember trying to talk to him once and i am pretty sure, if Asperger's had been the hobgoblin diagnosis it is nowadays back then, he would've been labeled such
anyway, pretty much sucked to be that guy. shit your pants on the first day of high school, ain't nobody ever let you forget that
he committed suicide over the summer. from what i heard, he overdosed on his medication.
you know what would be really sad? if he didn't think to evacuate himself fully before he did that, since the last thing he'd do as he died would be to shit his pants
The last time i shat myself was in ninth grade with the squirrel
the worst time was fifth grade.
I had been feeling sick all day, but in the last ten minutes of the day i knew something was about to get down
The door was open and I sat next to it so i graded my pack and fucking bolted
i got in, started to take off my pants but only got half way but over before my ass decided to forcibly eject the contents of my colon.
i said they were half way down and that is important because like a normal person my ass hole is located there as well so half sprayed the walls, half got clipped by my jeans and ran back against me
i got myself onto the toilet and pooped for about twenty minutes
i didn't get to wipe. wanna know why? in the boy's bathroom, everyone peed on the toilet paper rolls. i don't know why.
when i was sure i was done i walked out of the stall as the janitor walked in. i whispered "I'm so sorry" and ran.
I was so worried about having to see him again the next day. I didn't have to.
He quit.
Druhim on
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I Win Swordfightsall the traits of greatnessstarlight at my feetRegistered Userregular
edited January 2010
i double posted that bcause i am on my phone. because i am pooping
Posts
the
fuck
man you haven't lived until you've vomited into a public toilet with pee and old shit inside and the mixture splashes back up into your face
guess where most of the ammonia comes from
kpop appreciation station i also like to tweet some
also one time i had REAAALLY bad constipation. for like, 3 or 4 days straight. it was ready to go to, but when i sat down it felt like trying to push jabba the hutt through a keyhole. i honestly thought i was gonna rip my asshole apart. so i got the great idea to eat an entire can of pringles, which was using that fake butter shit that gave me the runs like whoa. cut to 3 hours later, im releasing waste for a solid minute with the biggest, happiest smile on my face
oh also on the subject of poop, i went to the bathroom at a train station the other day. and in japan they use these squat toilets where its basically just an oblong porcelain hole on the floor. and i stepped into the stall and there were two HUGE logs sitting halfway off the bowl ledge and on the tile floor. it was the biggest poop ive ever seen in japan and i came about half an inch from plowing right into it
WORK CAMPS FOR ERRYBODY
CHILDREN GET OVERTIME
i've never shit Houk's pants either
just so you know
how many of you fine heterosexual men know the taste of semen
your own, or someone else's
tell me that story
because it will amuse me
<_<
no comment
true story
nuzak thread
hahahah beautiful
Really, the texture is the worst part.
kpop appreciation station i also like to tweet some
no way
ONE TIME I SWEAR
pony i thought you of all people would know about that book
Really you guys?
We are really setting the bar low here.
so low its in china
pfft
motherfucker
do you want me to even start
i will show you how deep your rabbit hole goes
Go ahead, I dare ya! Oh snap, Ewok celebration just came on grooveshark.
everybody shut up for a second.
i'm not even going to edit that
just gonna leave that one out there
god damn
hi5
pony you speak as if my lips are not currently enveloped around your erect, throbbing phallus
lustfully sucking every pearlescent drop of man-cream from your tube steak
i am typing from my iphone under his desk
I do not remember his name, only that we all called him Stinky Mantits.
Stinky Mantits.
One day Stinky was sitting there in class and he had to fart, so he farted. And instead of warm, rank air, his ass released a moderate quantity of shit. Being Stinky, he looked at the clock. Boy, he thinks, maybe I can make it to the end of class before anyone notices!
Only they did, and he finally had to get out prematurely when everyone around him was like "oh my god you shat your pants! get the fuck out of here!"
i said heterosexual men, you faggot
well you'd be crazy not to have a go
besides, i did invite people to discuss non-pant-shitting related pride, but the only place we've gone so far is semen-tasting
this was not unforeseeable
the worst time was fifth grade.
I had been feeling sick all day, but in the last ten minutes of the day i knew something was about to get down
The door was open and I sat next to it so i graded my pack and fucking bolted
i got in, started to take off my pants but only got half way but over before my ass decided to forcibly eject the contents of my colon.
i said they were half way down and that is important because like a normal person my ass hole is located there as well so half sprayed the walls, half got clipped by my jeans and ran back against me
i got myself onto the toilet and pooped for about twenty minutes
i didn't get to wipe. wanna know why? in the boy's bathroom, everyone peed on the toilet paper rolls. i don't know why.
when i was sure i was done i walked out of the stall as the janitor walked in. i whispered "I'm so sorry" and ran.
I was so worried about having to see him again the next day. I didn't have to.
He quit.
the worst time was fifth grade.
I had been feeling sick all day, but in the last ten minutes of the day i knew something was about to get down
The door was open and I sat next to it so i grabbed my pack and fucking bolted
i got in, started to take off my pants but only got half way but over before my ass decided to forcibly eject the contents of my colon.
i said they were half way down and that is important because like a normal person my ass hole is located there as well so half sprayed the walls, half got clipped by my jeans and ran back against me
i got myself onto the toilet and pooped for about twenty minutes
i didn't get to wipe. wanna know why? in the boy's bathroom, everyone peed on the toilet paper rolls. i don't know why.
when i was sure i was done i walked out of the stall as the janitor walked in. i whispered "I'm so sorry" and ran.
I was so worried about having to see him again the next day. I didn't have to. He quit.
the very first day of high school
a dude in my second period class shit his pants
i don't know why, per se, although during homeroom dude was stressed the fuck out and sweating like a pig and stammering and shit
so maybe he was really sick?
anyway, he let out a fart and in doing so, shit his pants and it stank really bad, everybody knew it, and when he asked to go the bathroom he had a clearly dark spot on the ass of his pants (catholic school, we had uniforms, which included charcoal grey pants that turned black anywhere they got wet)
so, as teenagers are a cruel and evil lot, he was eternally named "shithouse"
which was as clever as such nicknames go, i guess, as his last name was schmaus
the name shithouse and being mocked and derided followed him all through high school and he even found the loser kids rejected by other people rejecting him
i remember trying to talk to him once and i am pretty sure, if Asperger's had been the hobgoblin diagnosis it is nowadays back then, he would've been labeled such
anyway, pretty much sucked to be that guy. shit your pants on the first day of high school, ain't nobody ever let you forget that
o god
to both posts
now i am off to eat some curry at a lady friend's house
this absolutely has the makings for a great shit-yourself story, so fingers crossed!
i really hope this thread is still alive when i get back. my goal for my first thread is 10 pages. aim high, shit low!
If it weren't for my horse...
as such i've never had an incident where it was "I AM POOING AGAINST MY WILL"