Nearly there, but not enough explosions. Try and sink a boat or something.
There is a boat getting sunk in there!
And no Michael Bay movies are on the list!
Oh, so there is. I was so excited by the Jamaican-tinged denouement I forgot how the whole thing started.
This will no doubt be a problem for many of your viewing audience.
I guess I could have the teacher and the jamacalien get on another boat and have it get sunk by another giant shark at the end there. Jamacalien will be tragically frozen in the liquid-nitrogen sea and shatter in slow-motion.
Twice the boats sinking, twice the profit, yeah? Also it'll give some time to squeeze in that musical number with Celene Dion, Simon and Garfunkel, and John Williams.
Oh, I like that, it would be an ironic callback to the beginning of the movie. Having escaped one tragic seafaring accident, they find the possibility of happiness, only to have it snatched away by another.
Pfft, it's going to do so well that all previous and future Oscar statues will be melted down and forged in a single, giant Oscar that will double as my house.
1 Gone with the Wind MGM $1,537,559,600
2 Star Wars Fox $1,355,490,100
3 The Sound of Music Fox $1,083,781,000
4 E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial Uni. $1,079,511,500
5 The Ten Commandments Par. $996,910,000
6 Titanic Par. $976,712,200
7 Jaws Uni. $974,679,800
8 Doctor Zhivago MGM $944,670,800
9 The Exorcist WB $841,427,600
10 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Dis. $829,490,000
11 101 Dalmatians Dis. $760,370,300
12 The Empire Strikes Back Fox $747,154,600
13 Ben-Hur MGM $745,780,000
14 Return of the Jedi Fox $715,792,100
15 The Sting Uni. $678,377,100
16 Raiders of the Lost Ark Par. $670,759,500
17 Avatar Fox $667,605,000
18 Jurassic Park Uni. $656,026,500
19 The Graduate AVCO $651,198,300
20 Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace Fox $645,524,400
Ok, time to make a pitch:
It is a period of civil war...in space. Trying to escape the conflict between the northern alliance and southern nazis, a music teacher and an alien on a bike are commanded by God to cross their home planet's sea on a giant ship, only to have it sunk by a giant alien shark. They wash up on shore and encounter a poet, who later turns out to be possessed by the devil. They escape into the forest to get away from him, and befriend some small people and a large number of dogs. However, they are soon hunted down by the southern nazis. They ward off the nazis by using the dogs to lead a chariot that they run in large circles, while the little people, hidden in the trees, use home-made traps and snares to pick off their pursuers. Information from one of the dying nazis reveals an artifact, which can secretly can be used to melt nazis and therefore end the war, is being held by a banker on a tree-city on planet near Alpha Centauri, and our heros head there to grift the weapon out of him in a complex con job. Upon arrival, however, they find that the tree-city has been overrun by dinosaurs, and the weapon lies hidden under mud in a can of shaving cream, the result of another grifter's failed attempt to steal the weapon. Disillusioned, the music teacher becomes listless and aimless, and winds up being seduced by an older, vaguely Jamacian-accented alien.
BOX
OFFICE GOLD
Kevin O'Neill's 29 hour opus not only piggy backs on previous successes of past directors but also shows just how low he is willing to sink in order to get a house made from oscars. In short, it's a great distraction if your house is being fumigated and is uninhabitable for a day.
1 Gone with the Wind MGM $1,537,559,600
2 Star Wars Fox $1,355,490,100
3 The Sound of Music Fox $1,083,781,000
4 E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial Uni. $1,079,511,500
5 The Ten Commandments Par. $996,910,000
6 Titanic Par. $976,712,200
7 Jaws Uni. $974,679,800
8 Doctor Zhivago MGM $944,670,800
9 The Exorcist WB $841,427,600
10 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Dis. $829,490,000
11 101 Dalmatians Dis. $760,370,300
12 The Empire Strikes Back Fox $747,154,600
13 Ben-Hur MGM $745,780,000
14 Return of the Jedi Fox $715,792,100
15 The Sting Uni. $678,377,100
16 Raiders of the Lost Ark Par. $670,759,500
17 Avatar Fox $667,605,000
18 Jurassic Park Uni. $656,026,500
19 The Graduate AVCO $651,198,300
20 Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace Fox $645,524,400
Ok, time to make a pitch:
It is a period of civil war...in space. Trying to escape the conflict between the northern alliance and southern nazis, a music teacher and an alien on a bike are commanded by God to cross their home planet's sea on a giant ship, only to have it sunk by a giant alien shark. They wash up on shore and encounter a poet, who later turns out to be possessed by the devil. They escape into the forest to get away from him, and befriend some small people and a large number of dogs. However, they are soon hunted down by the southern nazis. They ward off the nazis by using the dogs to lead a chariot that they run in large circles, while the little people, hidden in the trees, use home-made traps and snares to pick off their pursuers. Information from one of the dying nazis reveals an artifact, which can secretly can be used to melt nazis and therefore end the war, is being held by a banker on a tree-city on planet near Alpha Centauri, and our heros head there to grift the weapon out of him in a complex con job. Upon arrival, however, they find that the tree-city has been overrun by dinosaurs, and the weapon lies hidden under mud in a can of shaving cream, the result of another grifter's failed attempt to steal the weapon. Disillusioned, the music teacher becomes listless and aimless, and winds up being seduced by an older, vaguely Jamacian-accented alien.
BOX
OFFICE GOLD
Kevin O'Neill's 29 hour opus not only piggy backs on previous successes of past directors but also shows just how low he is willing to sink in order to get a house made from oscars. In short, it's a great distraction if your house is being fumigated and is uninhabitable for a day.
Kevin O'Neill's 29 hour opus not only piggy backs on previous successes of past directors but also shows just how low he is willing to sink in order to get a house made from oscars. In short, it's a great distraction if your house is being fumigated and is uninhabitable for a day.
This from a guy whose future financial planning revolves entirely around copulating with beasts of burden.
Kevin O'Neill's 29 hour opus not only piggy backs on previous successes of past directors but also shows just how low he is willing to sink in order to get a house made from oscars. In short, it's a great distraction if your house is being fumigated and is uninhabitable for a day.
This from a guy whose future financial planning revolves entirely around copulating with beasts of burden.
I was also thinking of dabbling in the game show circuit.
Kevin O'Neill's 29 hour opus not only piggy backs on previous successes of past directors but also shows just how low he is willing to sink in order to get a house made from oscars. In short, it's a great distraction if your house is being fumigated and is uninhabitable for a day.
This from a guy whose future financial planning revolves entirely around copulating with beasts of burden.
I was also thinking of dabbling in the game show circuit.
Regis Philbin hosts in Just How Badly Do You Want to Be a Millionaire, Really?
Kevin O'Neill's 29 hour opus not only piggy backs on previous successes of past directors but also shows just how low he is willing to sink in order to get a house made from oscars. In short, it's a great distraction if your house is being fumigated and is uninhabitable for a day.
This from a guy whose future financial planning revolves entirely around copulating with beasts of burden.
I was also thinking of dabbling in the game show circuit.
Regis Philbin hosts in Just How Badly Do You Want to Be a Millionaire, Really?
Okay, now you're in some emmy winning territory.
Mustang on
0
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Kevin O'Neill's 29 hour opus not only piggy backs on previous successes of past directors but also shows just how low he is willing to sink in order to get a house made from oscars. In short, it's a great distraction if your house is being fumigated and is uninhabitable for a day.
This from a guy whose future financial planning revolves entirely around copulating with beasts of burden.
His girlfriend is a jackass?
Munkus Beaver on
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
0
MustangArbiter of Unpopular OpinionsRegistered Userregular
edited February 2010
EDIT: I knew someone would post immediately before I posted this.
His girlfriend is a jackass?
I said I'd bang a donkey for a million bucks and he started channelling 'the man'
Having a buddy who works at Subway is pretty kickass.
I get all the free sandwiches I want. Those things can cost upwards of ten bucks!
Godfather on
0
MustangArbiter of Unpopular OpinionsRegistered Userregular
edited February 2010
Man, I wish I had a friend at Subway. That would almost counteract having to do free pc support for every man woman and child who has known me at some point in their lives and thinks I enjoy fixing their crudded up computers.
Mustang on
0
NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
This is more of a fun thing for me to do on the side, which is in stark contrast to my current style (Krav Maga), which I take very seriously, because that type of combat is built entirely around exploiting vulnerable/vital areas, weapon disarming and (if the rare need arises) potentially killing your opponent so you can get the fuck out of dodge.
Capoeira focuses on fluid movements and high kicks/momentum build-up, and practically goes hand-in-hand with various street dancing styles. There are just too many benefits to practicing this for me not to pick up.
It can be very effective if used properly, like so
His cutting remarks are funny when they're not directed at you.
EDIT: Also he was diagnosing the hell out of everything last time I watched the show, so I'll have to assume that he's lost his touch over the years.
Every episode of house follows the same format:
*some guy falls down while doing something*
House: Some wry remark about something stupid patient is doing.
Patient: *gets worse*
House: It's probably lupus
Patient: *shoots blood out of eyes*
House: Okay, everybody to the whiteboard!
House: Some wry remark about something stupid his staff is doing.
That bitchy chick: Bitching about House's overuse of painkillers/verbal abuse of patients
House: Some wry remark about how stupid the patient's family is
House: Hey lets go break into the patients house to get some ideas!
House: Some wry remark about the way the patient lives
Patient: *explodes in an orgasm of blood*
House: *stumbles across a diagnosis just in time*
House: Some wry remark about how stupid (random person) is
His cutting remarks are funny when they're not directed at you.
EDIT: Also he was diagnosing the hell out of everything last time I watched the show, so I'll have to assume that he's lost his touch over the years.
Every episode of house follows the same format:
*some guy falls down while doing something*
House: Some wry remark about something stupid patient is doing.
Patient: *gets worse*
House: It's probably lupus
Patient: *shoots blood out of eyes*
House: Okay, everybody to the whiteboard!
House: Some wry remark about something stupid his staff is doing.
That bitchy chick: Bitching about House's overuse of painkillers/verbal abuse of patients
House: Some wry remark about how stupid the patient's family is
House: Hey lets go break into the patients house to get some ideas!
House: Some wry remark about the way the patient lives
Patient: *explodes in an orgasm of blood*
House: *stumbles across a diagnosis just in time*
House: Some wry remark about how stupid (random person) is
Exactly why I stopped watching it years ago.....I'd say it's nice that somethings never change, but in this instance it isn't.
Mustang on
0
MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
edited February 2010
Yeah, but kochikens thinks he's sexy so its alright
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Posts
yah!
Twitter
There is a boat getting sunk in there!
And no Michael Bay movies are on the list!
Twitter
She asked, I answered.
Oh, so there is. I was so excited by the Jamaican-tinged denouement I forgot how the whole thing started.
This will no doubt be a problem for many of your viewing audience.
I guess I could have the teacher and the jamacalien get on another boat and have it get sunk by another giant shark at the end there. Jamacalien will be tragically frozen in the liquid-nitrogen sea and shatter in slow-motion.
Twice the boats sinking, twice the profit, yeah? Also it'll give some time to squeeze in that musical number with Celene Dion, Simon and Garfunkel, and John Williams.
Twitter
I smell oscar.
Pfft, it's going to do so well that all previous and future Oscar statues will be melted down and forged in a single, giant Oscar that will double as my house.
Twitter
Kevin O'Neill's 29 hour opus not only piggy backs on previous successes of past directors but also shows just how low he is willing to sink in order to get a house made from oscars. In short, it's a great distraction if your house is being fumigated and is uninhabitable for a day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpYEJx7PkWE
EDIT: Off to get this stupid ear infection seen to.
This from a guy whose future financial planning revolves entirely around copulating with beasts of burden.
Twitter
I was also thinking of dabbling in the game show circuit.
Regis Philbin hosts in Just How Badly Do You Want to Be a Millionaire, Really?
Twitter
Okay, now you're in some emmy winning territory.
His girlfriend is a jackass?
EDIT: I knew someone would post immediately before I posted this.
I said I'd bang a donkey for a million bucks and he started channelling 'the man'
I get all the free sandwiches I want. Those things can cost upwards of ten bucks!
i produce entourage
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMX9KKzG4-0&feature=related
This is more of a fun thing for me to do on the side, which is in stark contrast to my current style (Krav Maga), which I take very seriously, because that type of combat is built entirely around exploiting vulnerable/vital areas, weapon disarming and (if the rare need arises) potentially killing your opponent so you can get the fuck out of dodge.
Capoeira focuses on fluid movements and high kicks/momentum build-up, and practically goes hand-in-hand with various street dancing styles. There are just too many benefits to practicing this for me not to pick up.
It can be very effective if used properly, like so
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0KfQE2-ZqA
to be honest KV can shut down an oppoent faster and with less effort, but it doesn't look as cool.
The fuck does house have going for him, anyway?
EDIT: Also he was diagnosing the hell out of everything last time I watched the show, so I'll have to assume that he's lost his touch over the years.
Every episode of house follows the same format:
*some guy falls down while doing something*
House: Some wry remark about something stupid patient is doing.
Patient: *gets worse*
House: It's probably lupus
Patient: *shoots blood out of eyes*
House: Okay, everybody to the whiteboard!
House: Some wry remark about something stupid his staff is doing.
That bitchy chick: Bitching about House's overuse of painkillers/verbal abuse of patients
House: Some wry remark about how stupid the patient's family is
House: Hey lets go break into the patients house to get some ideas!
House: Some wry remark about the way the patient lives
Patient: *explodes in an orgasm of blood*
House: *stumbles across a diagnosis just in time*
House: Some wry remark about how stupid (random person) is
Exactly why I stopped watching it years ago.....I'd say it's nice that somethings never change, but in this instance it isn't.
People say I look like House, so therefor the show is great.
INSTAGRAM
I think he's sexy too.