adventfallsWhy would you wish to know?Registered Userregular
edited February 2010
Gentlemen, this is a special broadcast of the AF Show. I'm AdventFalls, here to deliver an important message. It's so important that I'm not wearing the helmet.
It occurs to me that some of you are unaware as to why I grudge Robos so damn hard. Well, there's a reason.
He can derail your games. Don't believe me? Well, let's look back at the game that I grudge him for.
The Mega Man Mini, created by Toxic Toys. Through some dark ritual or deal with the devil, Robos had become the head of the network. He knew his number was coming up soon, so what did he do?
He appointed me network head. BEFORE vote close.
Needless to say, we both died that night. And it was a sheer miracle that the village even won that game- it went all the way to the last day.
So I implore you. Do the smart thing. Give Robos your red votes.
Welcome to Whose show is it anyways? on your favorite network. Except the network you're currently working for, as it's always safe to vouch for mine.
Alegis: Our guests later tonight! Aegis and Aegeri! Aegis: Please give them a warm applause! Alegis: How did you get here already? Aegis: This is my seat! Alegis: Wait! How did YOU Get here! Aegeri: No one opened the door so I welcomed myself in. Aegis: So Aegeri, how's life been treating you? Alegis: Hey! I'm asking the questions here! Aegeri: But I've been answering your questions the entire time! Aegis: Yes I have! Alegis: No I haven't! Aegeri: Does your paranoia often cause you problems on the set? Alegis: Well there was this one time where I mistakenly ... Aegis: Oh yeah I remember that! I was preparing my next show and then I thought I overheard Lay Jeno was moving over to my timeslot when ... Alegis: Not my memories too! We'll be back after the break! Cut! Cut!! CUT!
Meanwhile, during the commercial break we provide you with the following refreshing interlude and product placement:
This programming block has been paid for by Phalla Commercial Industries.
Hi, Kilnaga here, today I've come to tell you about Phalla Commercial Industries' hottest product!
Let me warn you folks, you are in for one hell of a treat this evening!
Clorox Bleach Pens.
That's Right: CLOROX BLEACH PENS!
Your heavy duty, all purpose, spot remover on the go!
We all know the aches and pains of unsightly spots and stains, but with new Clorox Bleach Pens we can ache no more!
You've heard the story before: Wake up late, rush to get ready for the morning meeting, grab a quick bite to eat then BAM!
That jelly doughnut betrays you right down the front of your freshly pressed shirt. Its laundry day, no clean clothes left and you know you can't wear that jelly stain in front of the boss.
So what do you do???
CLOROX BLEACH PENS!
But don't take my word on it. Listen to one of our satisfied customers!
AdventFalls come on out here!
Kilnaga: So AdventFalls, tells us about your situation, and how Clorox Bleach Pens helped you out of a tight bind.
AdventFalls: Well, as you all know I host a rather popular late night talk show and the other night I had as a guest the infamous Robos A Go Go.
Kilnaga: Ohh, that couldn't have gone well.
AdventFalls: Well, in truth, it wasn't actually Robos, but rather a cardboard cut-out and a tape recorder, but the audience couldn't tell the difference.
Kilnaga: I can see how it would be easy to confuse the two.
AdventFalls: The interview starts out great, but the next thing you know a crazed audience member starts a chant of "
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!" and the crowd just goes nuts. They started throwing things at the cut-out! Tomatoes, pies, tire irons, you name it.
Kilnaga: I hope you ducked for cover!
AdventFalls: Try as I did I still couldn't escape the flying fruit. I was splattered right down the front. I mean, this was my best suit, and Robos was only my first guest for the night. I certainly couldn't do the rest of the show with tomato stains! Out of nowhere comes the Key Grip and he tosses me something.
It was a Clorox Bleach Pen.
*AdventFalls holds product up for the camera*
AdventFalls: This little baby saved the show that night.
Well folks, wasn't that a trip? Convenient AND life shaving!
But how do I get my hands on one of these little babies you ask? THAT'S EASY!
For a limited time only, Phalla Commercial Industries is running a special offer!
Callers in the next fifteen minutes will receive not one! Not two! BUT THREE CLOROX BLEACH PENS FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF $19.99!
Until next time folks! Kilnaga out!
CALL: 1-800-PHALLA Today!
We accept Visa, MasterCard, checks and money orders. Please make all checks payable to Phalla Commercial Industries.
Kilnaga on
"The psychedelic mind is a higher dimensional mind, it is not fit for three dimensional space time."
- Terence McKenna
Also, due to an internal mix-up, we lost all the paychecks for employees of the FALA network. Any employees wishing to be paid this week need to contact HR (me) immediately.
I live in FL good sir. I find it overly unnecessary to put on the suit coat. Indoors or not. Its just too bloody humid to wear extra layers when they aren't needed.
EDIT: I should also point out that Billy Mays didn't even wear a tie.
Kilnaga on
"The psychedelic mind is a higher dimensional mind, it is not fit for three dimensional space time."
- Terence McKenna
0
lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
I live in FL good sir. I find it overly unnecessary to put on the suit coat. Indoors or not. Its just too bloody humid to wear extra layers when they aren't needed.
EDIT: I should also point out that Billy Mays didn't even wear a tie.
Trust me, I know about FL.
But... Barney.
crimsoncoyote on
0
TehSlothHit Or MissI Guess They Never Miss, HuhRegistered Userregular
edited February 2010
Well, now that I've taken the time to get my read on, I'll lime-vote that fantastic kickpunching gentlemen CrimsonCoyote, and get rid of Dunadan for once again doing that weird multiple personality gimmick...
Oh wait, you mean gimmicks are kinda this games shtick... regardless off with his head!
I live in FL good sir. I find it overly unnecessary to put on the suit coat. Indoors or not. Its just too bloody humid to wear extra layers when they aren't needed.
EDIT: I should also point out that Billy Mays didn't even wear a tie.
So do we, that doesn't mean you shouldn't suit up.
Hey, everyone! It's 11:17 PM EST, and you know what that means!
It's time for the Utter Dark of Night Show!
With your host, pigeon!
(assorted logos and such fade, revealing pigeon, standing on a bleak, empty stage with both hands behind back. The roof is leaking...badly)
pigeon: Hi, everyone! Come on in. Haha, that was a joke. I know you all are too fat and lazy to get up.
(There is silence from the audience. Camera pans over to the audience seats, revealing the audience is in fact made up of several mannequins, all in varying states of undress)
pigeon: As many of you may recall, last season the “fat cats” on our network threatened to cancel the show. But, thanks to a little thing I like to call “trailing the network head with a camera 24/7 for two months straight, never stopping to eat, sleep, or rest for even a second lest I should miss some hidden failing or secret perversion,” we’re back! Although our budget isn’t quite as high this season. The, uh. Um. The band is gone. And my sidekick. And…most of the lighting.
(awkward silence continues)
pigeon: But, you know what we did have room in the budget for? Puppets!
(pigeon brings one hand around, revealing a poorly-made puppet that looks strangely familiar)
Rawkking Puppetguy (confused, looking around): Ugh, my head! Where am I? The last thing I remember is… (looks up at pigeon, who is still smiling serenely)
Rawkking Puppetguy: OH CHRIST HOW ARE YOU SO HUGE
pigeon:
(the puppet screams in confusion for about a minute, panic rising quickly as it appears to realize the situation)
Rawkking: WHAT DID YOU DO TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(still smiling, pigeon moves the puppet around and makes it nod its head and clap its hands as it still shrieks in terror. After a few minutes of ear-splitting agony, the screams turn into muffled sobs, and pigeon moves the puppet to head height)
pigeon: all better?
Rawkking: what…what is this? WHERE THE HELL IS MY BODY
pigeon: Oh, don’t worry. It’s in good hands. And you’re even luckier! You’re on a good hand!
(a laugh sign above the audience flickers briefly before dying. The audience is silent.)
Rawkking: This…this is all just a bad dream. A very, very, bad dream. Yes. That’s it. I’m going to wake up in a few minutes, in my bed, and I’ll laugh, because this is so stupid, even though I really believed it for a few…
(pigeon brings around the other hand, which is also be-puppeted, and strikes the Rawkking puppet with it)
Rawkking: AUGH
Puppet #2: ARGH
(pigeon brings both puppets down below shoulder height, still smiling. The other puppet is also strangely familiar)
Rawkking: K…Kime?
Kime puppet: :x Ow! That cap of yours really hurts!
Rawkking: What’s going on here?
Kime: Ahaha! We kidnapped you and transferred your consciousness into a puppet! I say we because, you know, I’m part of this plan too. Evil. Yep.
Rawkking: :? …but aren’t you a puppet too?
pigeon: yeah, Kime. That’s really getting old.
Kime (indignant): hey, I hit him! I’m helping!
(pigeon quickly shoves both puppets out of the way again. In all this time the smile hasn’t left how is it so still)
pigeon: Sadly, that’s all we have time for tonight. Join us tomorrow night, when we’ll have musical guest…(tilts head to one side, as if listening to a voice from above) Robos A Gogo, and the great actor, Delphinidaes!
Well, now that I've taken the time to get my read on, I'll lime-vote that fantastic kickpunching gentlemen CrimsonCoyote, and get rid of Dunadan for once again doing that weird multiple personality gimmick...
Oh wait, you mean gimmicks are kinda this games shtick... regardless off with his head!
I live in FL good sir. I find it overly unnecessary to put on the suit coat. Indoors or not. Its just too bloody humid to wear extra layers when they aren't needed.
EDIT: I should also point out that Billy Mays didn't even wear a tie.
So do we, that doesn't mean you shouldn't suit up.
Welcome back, no! Rainbows are optical phenomenons that lack the ability to do such. That is unless you mean the song Rainbow, in which case the answer is still no.
I change my vote to Pigeonking. That was simply too long. Comedy should be short and snappy. That and Winky is waaaaayyyyy too dramatic about all this.
Who doesn't know how to ride a bike by that age? Back in the day when he would have been a kid its not like he had loads of video games and television to rot his brains away. I'm sure a fine young gentleman like him would have learned to ride a bike at one point or other during his youth.
Kilnaga on
"The psychedelic mind is a higher dimensional mind, it is not fit for three dimensional space time."
- Terence McKenna
Okay, I'll let this one go. Only because your signature is a quote by Groucho Marx.
Notch on
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
0
simonwolfi can feel a differencetoday, a differenceRegistered Userregular
edited February 2010
Oh man, that drawing of kime sold it for me.pigeonking, you win my vote.
Also, Robos wins my other vote. He knows why.
Where's my television show, you ask? Why, it'll be up on Day 2! Saving the best material for later, eh what. Don't worry, though, I think everybody will find something to enjoy in the top-rated late night cooking show on any network...
Lemming: Hello, everybody, and welcome to the Lame-Night Show with LemmingHead! I'm your host, and if you're not a total moron, you might be able to figure out what my name is.
Director: *makes slitting noises across his throat*
Lemming: What's that? No, homicide isn't a good way to start off this show!
Director: *facepalm*
Lemming: That's, like, not even funny.
Director: *scribbles*
Lemming: Whatever. Now we go to our first segment: Punishing Puns!
Lemming: Man smashes his head into a table, decides to keep large scar on head. Now that's what I call headlining news!
(disgruntled operator plays a chicken squawk over laugh track)
Lemming: Huh. A woman in Egypt nearly drowned after being convinced she had superpowers and attempted to walk across the River Delta, despite people trying to get her to stop. She was clearly too deep in deNile!
(disgruntled operator plays the laugh track over the laugh track over the laugh track for a cacophony of laughter)
Lemming: Finally, a bunch of people off the internet, who call themselves "Phalla" players, were seen passing out fliers to a live Rick Astley concert... that didn't exist. That's a Phalla-cy if I ever saw one!
(disgruntled operator plays crickets)
Lemming: Jesus, do we need to get another exterminator in here? Now for the--
(disgruntled operator begins to play the ending theme song... really, really loudly)
Lemming: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! I WAS GOING TO INTERVIEW KIME AND MAKE MORE PUNS ABOUT DUNADAN! GODDAMN, IS THIS BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN?! IT'S ALWAYS BECAUSE I'M A--
Posts
Anyways, Zellpher has my attention, in a good way.
And Rend has it in the other way.
I'm AdventFalls, here to deliver an important message. It's so important that I'm not wearing the helmet.
It occurs to me that some of you are unaware as to why I grudge Robos so damn hard. Well, there's a reason.
He can derail your games. Don't believe me? Well, let's look back at the game that I grudge him for.
The Mega Man Mini, created by Toxic Toys. Through some dark ritual or deal with the devil, Robos had become the head of the network. He knew his number was coming up soon, so what did he do?
He appointed me network head. BEFORE vote close.
Needless to say, we both died that night. And it was a sheer miracle that the village even won that game- it went all the way to the last day.
So I implore you. Do the smart thing. Give Robos your red votes.
Thank you, and good hunting.
FrostMist
Meanwhile, during the commercial break we provide you with the following refreshing interlude and product placement:
Clearly, combined with a network RNG, this means that...crimsoncoyote
Currently DMing: None
Characters
[5e] Dural Melairkyn - AC 18 | HP 40 | Melee +5/1d8+3 | Spell +4/DC 12
!Savant
RNG likes !Rend!
Hi, Kilnaga here, today I've come to tell you about Phalla Commercial Industries' hottest product!
Let me warn you folks, you are in for one hell of a treat this evening!
Clorox Bleach Pens.
That's Right: CLOROX BLEACH PENS!
Your heavy duty, all purpose, spot remover on the go!
We all know the aches and pains of unsightly spots and stains, but with new Clorox Bleach Pens we can ache no more!
You've heard the story before: Wake up late, rush to get ready for the morning meeting, grab a quick bite to eat then BAM!
That jelly doughnut betrays you right down the front of your freshly pressed shirt. Its laundry day, no clean clothes left and you know you can't wear that jelly stain in front of the boss.
So what do you do???
CLOROX BLEACH PENS!
But don't take my word on it. Listen to one of our satisfied customers!
AdventFalls come on out here!
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!" and the crowd just goes nuts. They started throwing things at the cut-out! Tomatoes, pies, tire irons, you name it.
It was a Clorox Bleach Pen.
Well folks, wasn't that a trip? Convenient AND life shaving!
But how do I get my hands on one of these little babies you ask? THAT'S EASY!
For a limited time only, Phalla Commercial Industries is running a special offer!
Callers in the next fifteen minutes will receive not one! Not two! BUT THREE CLOROX BLEACH PENS FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF $19.99!
Until next time folks! Kilnaga out!
CALL: 1-800-PHALLA Today!
We accept Visa, MasterCard, checks and money orders. Please make all checks payable to Phalla Commercial Industries.
- Terence McKenna
Currently DMing: None
Characters
[5e] Dural Melairkyn - AC 18 | HP 40 | Melee +5/1d8+3 | Spell +4/DC 12
Also, due to an internal mix-up, we lost all the paychecks for employees of the FALA network. Any employees wishing to be paid this week need to contact HR (me) immediately.
Dunadan because it's Dunadan. But, to be fair, I was very tempted to vote for Dunadan.
Also, I am so tired. Good night Phalla.
3DS Friend Code: 3110-5393-4113
Steam profile
Official PA Forums FFXIV:ARR Free Company <GHOST> gitl.enjin.com Join us on Sargatanas!
I require suits
EDIT: I should also point out that Billy Mays didn't even wear a tie.
- Terence McKenna
That post above is highly amusing, Kilnaga
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Up next, do rainbows ride bicycles?
Trust me, I know about FL.
But... Barney.
Oh wait, you mean gimmicks are kinda this games shtick... regardless off with his head!
twitch.tv/tehsloth
So do we, that doesn't mean you shouldn't suit up.
It's time for the Utter Dark of Night Show!
With your host, pigeon!
(assorted logos and such fade, revealing pigeon, standing on a bleak, empty stage with both hands behind back. The roof is leaking...badly)
pigeon: Hi, everyone! Come on in. Haha, that was a joke. I know you all are too fat and lazy to get up.
(There is silence from the audience. Camera pans over to the audience seats, revealing the audience is in fact made up of several mannequins, all in varying states of undress)
pigeon: As many of you may recall, last season the “fat cats” on our network threatened to cancel the show. But, thanks to a little thing I like to call “trailing the network head with a camera 24/7 for two months straight, never stopping to eat, sleep, or rest for even a second lest I should miss some hidden failing or secret perversion,” we’re back! Although our budget isn’t quite as high this season. The, uh. Um. The band is gone. And my sidekick. And…most of the lighting.
(awkward silence continues)
pigeon: But, you know what we did have room in the budget for? Puppets!
(pigeon brings one hand around, revealing a poorly-made puppet that looks strangely familiar)
Rawkking Puppetguy (confused, looking around): Ugh, my head! Where am I? The last thing I remember is… (looks up at pigeon, who is still smiling serenely)
Rawkking Puppetguy:
pigeon:
(the puppet screams in confusion for about a minute, panic rising quickly as it appears to realize the situation)
Rawkking:
(still smiling, pigeon moves the puppet around and makes it nod its head and clap its hands as it still shrieks in terror. After a few minutes of ear-splitting agony, the screams turn into muffled sobs, and pigeon moves the puppet to head height)
pigeon: all better?
Rawkking: what…what is this? WHERE THE HELL IS MY BODY
pigeon: Oh, don’t worry. It’s in good hands. And you’re even luckier! You’re on a good hand!
(a laugh sign above the audience flickers briefly before dying. The audience is silent.)
Rawkking: This…this is all just a bad dream. A very, very, bad dream. Yes. That’s it. I’m going to wake up in a few minutes, in my bed, and I’ll laugh, because this is so stupid, even though I really believed it for a few…
(pigeon brings around the other hand, which is also be-puppeted, and strikes the Rawkking puppet with it)
Rawkking: AUGH
Puppet #2: ARGH
(pigeon brings both puppets down below shoulder height, still smiling. The other puppet is also strangely familiar)
Rawkking: K…Kime?
Kime puppet: :x Ow! That cap of yours really hurts!
Rawkking: What’s going on here?
Kime: Ahaha! We kidnapped you and transferred your consciousness into a puppet! I say we because, you know, I’m part of this plan too. Evil. Yep.
Rawkking: :? …but aren’t you a puppet too?
pigeon: yeah, Kime. That’s really getting old.
Kime (indignant): hey, I hit him! I’m helping!
(pigeon quickly shoves both puppets out of the way again. In all this time the smile hasn’t left how is it so still)
pigeon: Sadly, that’s all we have time for tonight. Join us tomorrow night, when we’ll have musical guest…(tilts head to one side, as if listening to a voice from above) Robos A Gogo, and the great actor, Delphinidaes!
Yes.
That sounds good, doesn’t it.
Yes, yes it does.
Heheheh.
Heh.
Heh.
ahahahhahahahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you'll be last!
twitch.tv/tehsloth
Thank you for being the voice of reason
- Terence McKenna
:^:
Welcome back, no! Rainbows are optical phenomenons that lack the ability to do such. That is unless you mean the song Rainbow, in which case the answer is still no.
- Terence McKenna
I'm not sure how you can make such a claim, have you seen him do it?
- Terence McKenna
Also, Robos wins my other vote. He knows why.
Where's my television show, you ask? Why, it'll be up on Day 2! Saving the best material for later, eh what. Don't worry, though, I think everybody will find something to enjoy in the top-rated late night cooking show on any network...
Also, We got request!!!
I think it's a great show...
- Terence McKenna
Featuring the musical talents of Florence Foster Jenkins!
Lemming: Hello, everybody, and welcome to the Lame-Night Show with LemmingHead! I'm your host, and if you're not a total moron, you might be able to figure out what my name is.
Director: *makes slitting noises across his throat*
Lemming: What's that? No, homicide isn't a good way to start off this show!
Director: *facepalm*
Lemming: That's, like, not even funny.
Director: *scribbles*
Lemming: Whatever. Now we go to our first segment: Punishing Puns!
(recorded laughter, disgruntled operator adds groans)
Lemming: Man smashes his head into a table, decides to keep large scar on head. Now that's what I call headlining news!
(disgruntled operator plays a chicken squawk over laugh track)
Lemming: Huh. A woman in Egypt nearly drowned after being convinced she had superpowers and attempted to walk across the River Delta, despite people trying to get her to stop. She was clearly too deep in deNile!
(disgruntled operator plays the laugh track over the laugh track over the laugh track for a cacophony of laughter)
Lemming: Finally, a bunch of people off the internet, who call themselves "Phalla" players, were seen passing out fliers to a live Rick Astley concert... that didn't exist. That's a Phalla-cy if I ever saw one!
(disgruntled operator plays crickets)
Lemming: Jesus, do we need to get another exterminator in here? Now for the--
(disgruntled operator begins to play the ending theme song... really, really loudly)
Lemming: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! I WAS GOING TO INTERVIEW KIME AND MAKE MORE PUNS ABOUT DUNADAN! GODDAMN, IS THIS BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN?! IT'S ALWAYS BECAUSE I'M A--