Choking Hazards [yet ANOTHER webcomic]

AMKAMK Registered User
edited March 2010 in Artist's Corner
Thought there wouldn't be much harm putting up a couple of the comics I've done.

Be as critical as you'd like, I've heard a LOT of criticism and am itching to find more things to fix.

Here's a personal favorite:
2009-12-17-Shopping%20Finished.jpg
Another, if your eyes are still up for it:
2009-12-07-Occupation%20-%20Finished.jpg

Let your judging begin!

Find out what it feels like to have head eaten? Y/N?
AMK on

Posts

  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited March 2010
    I kinda like the crossbow one, but in general this feels like it needs a lot of work. The art isn't the worst I've seen, but its in that area where the art isn't good enough to carry the writing, and the writing isn't good enough to carry the art.

    How serious are you about comics? what artists do you admire? Are you focusing on having funny comic, or do you want it to be equally easy on the eyes? Stuff like this would help us crit you.

    In general I'd say, you need to study anatomy and cartooning. I cant recommend john k enough for reading about classic cartoons: http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/ Hes pretty great at making you think about fighting generic faces and expressions.

    Also, Floating panels in a black space doesn't really count as proper gutters. The second comic shows a lack of thought in regards to the set up of the panels, and the extra black is just ugly.

    Iruka on
  • geeksaucegeeksauce Registered User
    edited March 2010
    I really like the humor in the crossbow comic and, to me, that will trump any shortcomings in the art dept. Keep the humor as good as that one and I'll read anything you create. :)

    geeksauce on
  • AMKAMK Registered User
    edited March 2010
    Fair enough. Thanks for the compliment, geeksauce.

    Anyway Iruka, I appreciate the honesty. To answer your questions, I have no idea how to be "serious" about making a web comic, especially since I'm usually too busy to make these. I try to draw them whenever I can. I want to have a comic that looks fairly nice, with my own style artistically, and is humorous. These are my goals.

    I do indeed need help in my ability to draw human beings. It's something I plan to get better at in the coming seasons.

    As for the floating black panels, the primary reason for that is that all these comics are made on the same dimensions, but the panel sizes for each, at least for me, have to vary to make it less... traditional. Also, the extra black serves to blend into the background which the comics are placed, the website's background is simply black.

    I am not good at CSS.

    Alright, I have three different comics. I desire, nay, I DEMAND your opinions as to which holds the greatest potential in terms of hilarity and uniqueness, and suggestions to tap said potential. One is the one you see up there. Here is another:
    2010-03-02-36.jpg

    The second is a very simplistic stick figure comic, though the stick figures have their own "flavor" to them. Apologies for the poor handwriting, the difficulty in reading it is a side effect of the intended "scatchy" style.
    2009-10-13-25.jpg

    The third is has, what I'm told, a little bit of an "emo" vibe to it, but I only see that in the design. It is ancient, drawn in an era in whence Myspace was actually a powerful creature, ensnaring the world in its tentacles. Here's the comic:
    Broken_Mirror__Data_by_AxMxK.jpg

    AMK on
    Find out what it feels like to have head eaten? Y/N?
  • winter_combat_knightwinter_combat_knight Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Though these need work (art and writing) there is definately potential. I think you're going in the right direction in regards to composition and storytelling. And although the characters are drawn very crude (not trying to be an ass) the fundementals of good character design are there. They are distinguishable in silhouette as you've demonstrated in THIS one.
    Keep practicing the art, try to come up with a simple, cleaner way to draw them. And keep at the writing. Keep it up. it can only improve.

    winter_combat_knight on
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited March 2010
    I like the stick figure strip a lot, and the other two aren't half bad. Its good that you are exploring different styles I would just keep you eyes open to things you like and study them. As wck says, just keep at it.

    Iruka on
  • PikaPuffPikaPuff Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    I have no idea how to art. I don't like the crossbow's punchline. It might be an opinion thing but I don't like fake threats like that. He's not going to really hit him with a crossbow, so why aim it at him like that? At most, if you wanted to go through with that, is shooting him in the foot, shooting a sleeve, or aiming somewhere else on the body in general.

    PikaPuff on
    jCyyTSo.png
  • AMKAMK Registered User
    edited March 2010
    Pika, one of the advantages of cartoon violence is that it is not realistic. As a cartoon character, I could say, drop a tractor on Phaetor (the blond one) and he'll be fine in the next strip. Continuity is not necessarily a facet of my world here. A good example of this is found in this old one, back when I wasn't using a tablet and didn't type the dialogue:
    2009-09-21-16.jpg

    I'm thinking about pursuing the third style, the one with the big headed, legless things. The comic is titled Broken Mirror. Here's another taste of it:
    Broken_Mirror__The_Job_Market_by_AxMxK.jpg

    In case you haven't noticed, drawing realistically is not one of my powers. That being the case, the thinking here is that I play to my strengths by sticking to a different vision of reality, where the inhabitants are grotesquely anatomically incorrect and mentally unstable, much like myself.

    FEEDBACK I NEEDS. GIVES.

    AMK on
    Find out what it feels like to have head eaten? Y/N?
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    You seem to be falling back on the whole ending the comic with violence/threat of violence. Obviously you're aiming at a demographic that isn't me, but you can really only do this for so long without trying to offer something else to readers.

    You really shouldn't be so quick to give up on drawing things in an anatomically correct way, as having this knowledge will drastically improve the way in which you can draw deformed and exaggerated characters.

    Your stuff seems like it suffers from a lot of the stuff that artists run into when starting comics. Being long-winded with dialog, and having panels that serve no purpose and what not. Storyboarding is an important part of developing a comic, and if you really need to look at your panels as a way to show what is happening, and not just for the sake of having a panel with something in it. Like that last strip could have just been the first 3 panels. I mean you could leave the next three panels but they just kinda build up to another joke that falls flat.

    I'd kinda like to see something that doesn't look Invader Zimish or Penny Arcadey. A lot of your stuff looks like other stuff, like I don't know where but I swear I've seen something like that rat somewhere. Finding your own style, while not easy, will be much more visually pleasing than emulating things that have already been done. Keep at it and you'll see improvements.

    earthwormadam on
  • NibCromNibCrom Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    It's good to experiment with styles, but if you want to eventually come up with a style that is your own, you have to draw from life and become good at drawing realistically. Otherwise your style is going to be derivative of the style of someone else, instead of your interpretation of real life.

    NibCrom on
  • Tubesteak SamuraiTubesteak Samurai Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    It's been said.
    Saying "I'm not good at drawing/writing/inking/lettering so instead I just..." doesn't really fly around here.
    The only real response you'll get from an artist is "Well then, I'll suggest you get good and here's how..."

    If you decide to bypass that advice then the only thing I can say is good luck. This is after all the internet which does not bar you from success for mere lack of professional level skill. But what I can't do is offer you any criticism when you have already outlined all the artistic problems yourself but don't seem to see them as problems.

    One thing I will say is ditch that scrawly lettering style. There's nothing redeeming about it and it does exactly the opposite of what it should. Looks like you've used Evil Genius in a few of the strips. It's a much better choice.

    Tubesteak Samurai on
  • AMKAMK Registered User
    edited March 2010
    Fair enough.

    In regards to the lettering, the scrawly one was indeed from an older era. We did get a lot of complaints about that and we do the words in Evil Genius now. At least for the two human characters.

    Critique on my latest one?
    2010-03-02-36.jpg

    Edit: I'm considering whether or not outlining the characters and objects are necessary. Thoughts?

    AMK on
    Find out what it feels like to have head eaten? Y/N?
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    I can't read a thing the rabbit creature is saying.

    Agent Coleman on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    You really shouldn't be so quick to give up on drawing things in an anatomically correct way, as having this knowledge will drastically improve the way in which you can draw deformed and exaggerated characters.

    I'd go so far as to say that you'll never be able to draw a charachter well until you understand how to draw anatomically well. It provides you with the knowledge of where you can exaggerate and simplify, and where you cannot. Any cartoonist worth his salt would tell you this.

    Mustang on
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