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Home remedies for sore... um... "parts"? ( possibly NSFW discussion? )

DrswordsDrswords Registered User regular
edited March 2010 in Help / Advice Forum
Okay well... yea. I dont want this to get graphic, and i want to keep it relatively safe for work. So ill try to be as straight forward as i can.

I am in a long distance relationship. This is relevant how?

Well before i was in this relationship... i didnt do much stuff "alone". I just sorta went about my day and what not.

Since ive been in this relationship however ive doubled up on the "Me" time ive spent during the week. Scratch that .. quadrupled the "me" time.

As of this week im trying to lay off ( despite the urges ) cause im a little sore in some places.

Is there any home remedy for this to help ease the discomfort other than just abstinence by itself? I know to lay off on stuff... but is there anything else i can do?

NSFW Spoiler
Im a 23 year old male. Im gay. Ive been using a dildo as well as lube. THATS why im sore. Im not going into other details.

Note to Moderators: If this topic is outside of the rules, please let me know. i reviewed the rules like 4 times before writing this, and i thought it would be okay to talk about, but if it isnt.... please let me know. I really dont know where else to ask about this sorta thing at all.

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Drswords on

Posts

  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Abstinence is your best bet until you feel less sore. If it's a sharp pain, or pain going to the bathroom or anything like that, check with your doctor.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • FFFF Once Upon a Time In OaklandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Well, I imagine it's like pretty much anything else. Back off, don't overdo it, let the soreness go away and then take it easy afterwards.

    FF on
    Huh...
  • DrswordsDrswords Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    bowen wrote: »
    Abstinence is your best bet until you feel less sore. If it's a sharp pain, or pain going to the bathroom or anything like that, check with your doctor.

    Yea not sharp pains or anything.

    More like... just... soreness in general.

    Also i think i would rather die before going to a West Texas doctor with this problem.

    About comfort... Ive been sitting on a soft pillow. Am i just about doing everything right here, or is there something else i should do or should not do to not aggravate the problem?

    I just want to cover all my bases.

    Drswords on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    The great thing about doctors is they don't care like your slaughterhouse operator, trucker, or random Texan cowboy about stuff like this.

    They've probably seen a lot worse.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • SipexSipex Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    I had a friend who used hand lotion to ease that sort of pain when puberty hit him like a brick.

    Worth a shot.

    Sipex on
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Sipex wrote: »
    I had a friend who used hand lotion to ease that sort of pain when puberty hit him like a brick.

    Worth a shot.
    I can't imagine hand lotion would be helpful for a sore bottom.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • admanbadmanb unionize your workplace Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Sipex wrote: »
    I had a friend who used hand lotion to ease that sort of pain when puberty hit him like a brick.

    Worth a shot.

    I think you may be thinking of a different area...

    (edit: beaten... *snrk*)

    admanb on
  • DrswordsDrswords Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    bowen wrote: »
    The great thing about doctors is they don't care like your slaughterhouse operator, trucker, or random Texan cowboy about stuff like this.

    They've probably seen a lot worse.

    Ive had some bad experiences with doctors and some down right prejudice stuff. Ive had to quit one psychiatrist and two therapists for prejudice slanders against me and general homophobia.

    And the physicians assistant im stuck with for a "doctor" for medical problems is quite possibly the most embarrasing person to be around with a problem. She is kinda.. cutesy and bubblegum cutesy, and she is just.. i dunno... she makes the process just unbearable.

    When i was on Zoloft i had some major troubles with Erectile Dysfunction. Like major problems. My then psychiatrist... said it was probably for the best that i didnt have any urges for sex. He never clarified on that statement, but some other stuff he said about me later on made me move on from him. I tried bringing it up to my Physicians assistant, and she just... i dont know... she made me feel so embarrased. And on top of that she didnt know what to do about it. I didnt get anything about it done until i got into a new psychiatrist last July.

    Hell at this point im so dissastisfied with the doctors medicaid has stuck me with, that when i get sick , i just go to the emergency room.

    I also have no frame of reference or guidance when it comes to dealing with my sexuality. My therapist is great for dealing with "now problems" like depression and stuff. But he is really genuinely lost when it comes to bigger picture stuff. i dont blame him, and its not why i go to him but still.

    I have no real outreach for problems like these. This is why i make stupid posts to an internet forum for advice. If i knew i could call someone who was gay, or like... someone who has gay friends... or someone who is not my boyfriend... someone i could talk to about this that might have a perspective on things, it would be a great comfort to me.

    Instead i always feel at a loss.

    Ive looked for Gay outreach stuff here in San Angelo. There is not a single organization or entity in this city or anywhere within 120 miles that i could go to.

    There used to be at the university, but it is all gone now.



    So yea... i think the point im trying to get to is... i really have a lot of issues ( the soreness is just one of many ) that i need to be able to talk to about with someone who might understand.. but i find myself as usual at a loss of where to turn to.

    I know i just sorta ran this off subject... but it just kinda all hit me right now.

    Drswords on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • SipexSipex Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Oh jeez, I didn't read the spoiler I just assumed.

    /ashamed

    Sipex on
  • GungHoGungHo Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Sipex wrote: »
    Oh jeez, I didn't read the spoiler I just assumed.

    /ashamed
    At least you didn't tell him that he shouldn't be even put Q-tips in his ear, much less anything else.

    GungHo on
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    That is horrible. I didn't know it was that bad, I just figured it was an issue with a few outspoken retards in the population.

    Do you have the possibility to move?

    If you're in the know with your gay friends/gay circle they might be able to recommend some doctors.

    As for your sore bottom, lay off it for a week or so. I'd recommend you do the same if you had a chaffed wingding too. I'm not a doctor, but, that makes sense to me. As long as you're not having anymore issues (I don't know if your story was meant to say "yeah I'm having more issues"), I think you'll be good.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • SatsumomoSatsumomo Rated PG! Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Probably baby cream? It's the most soothing thing I can think of, to at least alleviate the soreness.

    Satsumomo on
  • GungHoGungHo Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Not to slight PA, but you may want to look into some forums that really cater to the gay community. Not all of them are about hookups. Unfortunately, while there are plenty of gays here on the forums, I'm not sure you're going to get the kind of advice you're needing for how to get on with being out, especially since, you're right... San Angelo isn't a "encouraging" community. Honestly, you may be happier moving. I know how much money that can be, and it may not be econonmically feasable... but Austin and Houston have large, supportive gay commnuities, and at least it won't feel as lonely as West Texas. Shit, West Texas is lonely and desolate for straights.

    Additionally, we aren't professional therapists, so be careful about relying too much on the internet as your "trusted source". Some of us have been through some real shit in our lives, but while your docs may seem cool and distant, your medical issues still need to be addressed by medical professionals.

    GungHo on
  • krushkrush Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    knew a chick many years ago that had a similar ache, she preferred to do it... "back there"... so her fiance obliged a few times a week.

    The ache she had was caused by hemorrhoids that developed. Maybe have a doc check you for 'em.

    krush on
  • Bliss 101Bliss 101 Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    The soreness might be an (allergic?) reaction to the lube, or else your lube just isn't very good for that particular purpose. You'll pretty much want to use the thickest lube you can find. Could be a good idea to try a different brand.

    Bliss 101 on
    MSL59.jpg
  • DrswordsDrswords Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    GungHo wrote: »
    Not to slight PA, but you may want to look into some forums that really cater to the gay community. Not all of them are about hookups. Unfortunately, while there are plenty of gays here on the forums, I'm not sure you're going to get the kind of advice you're needing for how to get on with being out, especially since, you're right... San Angelo isn't a "encouraging" community. Honestly, you may be happier moving. I know how much money that can be, and it may not be econonmically feasable... but Austin and Houston have large, supportive gay commnuities, and at least it won't feel as lonely as West Texas. Shit, West Texas is lonely and desolate for straights.

    Additionally, we aren't professional therapists, so be careful about relying too much on the internet as your "trusted source". Some of us have been through some real shit in our lives, but while your docs may seem cool and distant, your medical issues still need to be addressed by medical professionals.

    I so desperately want to move.

    I just recently worked with DARS to get a job again. And im making some more money ( which is nice ) but me and my mom are sorta stuck here for now. I mean part of why we live where we do is cause san angelo is a financial black hole.

    The property values here and the money you get pale in comparison to most places. We live in a 3 bedroom split level apartment with a maid service. Sounds ritzy right? Costs us 700 dollars a month, plus 200 in utilties.

    900 dollars a month, and we have a fucking MAID.

    Also the money we make, is a lot for San Angelo, but without getting into better jobs elsewhere first, or getting a job offer first.. Austin is like... a pipedream. Its very expensive compared to here.

    It would mean giving up on a lot of things for not so guarenteed comfort. And it would be only on my behalf. Its a lot to ask for.

    Luckily, my mom, despite whatever disagreements we have, wants to move too.

    Its just... we fucking cant right now. She landed a job that pays 52k a year in her favorite type of job ( QMRP Administrator ) And i make like... 7 bucks an hour 20 hours a week, plus some money from disability. I wish i could provide more for us. I keep kicking myself over and over cause i cant provide like my mom can. Im a college drop out.... with disabilities that keep me from doing manual labor, and mental problems that make the office enviroment im in hard to tolerate. That and my cubicle buddy seems to love country music and gets to play it on his radio.

    Anyways... it just isnt working out like i wish it would. Its a lot for me to ask for us to move. And doing it on my own isnt very likely.

    Also... you are damn fucking right. Even the "normals" are miserable here in San Angelo. This place sucks the life out of you. Its so god damn... mediocre.


    On Topic:

    I use a really good hypo allergenic lube. Ive never had problems with it before. Someone pm'ed me with some good advice. Try something smaller/take it easy.

    Ive been overdoing it possibly with something a tad too big. So i think thats my problem.

    Drswords on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • tech_huntertech_hunter More SeattleRegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    If the pillow isnt working out you can go get one of those little doughnuts to sit on. Any pharmacy should have them. On another note you should move as soon as its possible, Austin, Dallas probably even houston would be a better environment for you.

    Looks like I got beat to the punch on that one

    tech_hunter on
    Sig to mucho Grande!
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Good lord, I'd live like a king where you live. But I'd be the most miserable king in the history of miserable kings.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    The soreness will go away.
    Get something with aloe in it to soothe the pain, but there's nothing lasting that is going to remain, just lay off for a few days.

    Official gay advice administered.
    8-)

    neville on
    nevillexmassig1.png
  • LoveIsUnityLoveIsUnity Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    I'll throw this all in spoilers since I'm not sure people want to read it:
    You should be using Astroglide as the very cheapest lube. There's more expensive stuff out there, but I've found that Astroglide is the cheapest lube that actually works well.

    Are you in to the thrusting aspect of the dildo or do you just like having something in your ass? If it's the second, I'd highly recommend a butt plug instead of a dildo. You can leave it in, and while you can still move it, it's more about having something in your ass while you masturbate.

    LoveIsUnity on
    steam_sig.png
  • DrswordsDrswords Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    I'll throw this all in spoilers since I'm not sure people want to read it:
    You should be using Astroglide as the very cheapest lube. There's more expensive stuff out there, but I've found that Astroglide is the cheapest lube that actually works well.

    Are you in to the thrusting aspect of the dildo or do you just like having something in your ass? If it's the second, I'd highly recommend a butt plug instead of a dildo. You can leave it in, and while you can still move it, it's more about having something in your ass while you masturbate.
    A plug would be a very good idea. I just.. never have shopped for one. Im still using the same plastic dildo i was given by a girl pal like 9 years ago.

    Drswords on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Drswords wrote: »
    I'll throw this all in spoilers since I'm not sure people want to read it:
    You should be using Astroglide as the very cheapest lube. There's more expensive stuff out there, but I've found that Astroglide is the cheapest lube that actually works well.

    Are you in to the thrusting aspect of the dildo or do you just like having something in your ass? If it's the second, I'd highly recommend a butt plug instead of a dildo. You can leave it in, and while you can still move it, it's more about having something in your ass while you masturbate.
    A plug would be a very good idea. I just.. never have shopped for one. Im still using the same plastic dildo i was given by a girl pal like 9 years ago.
    Unity gives good advice. Most online retailers are pretty damn discrete and I can PM you one site I've had luck with, if you're interested.

    The Crowing One on
    3rddocbottom.jpg
  • FallingmanFallingman Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    I don't have any direct experience with this, but another idea might be to try something smaller that still does what you need it to? Unless the size is part of the draw...

    Fallingman on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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