I'm not a fan of the speech bubbles. The jagged edges are distracting.
Jagged edges?
Right now you're essentially putting a rounded rectangle shape around each line of text instead of using one shape to contain all of the text.
If you want to stick with the rounded rectangle shape, try using one large rectangle and if need be, use a shorter (less width) rectangle if the last line is significantly shorter than the rest of the paragraph.
Edit: see Achewood for example of what I mean.
Edit Edit: I guess I should have said jagged sides.
I'm not a fan of the speech bubbles. The jagged edges are distracting.
Jagged edges?
Right now you're essentially putting a rounded rectangle shape around each line of text instead of using one shape to contain all of the text.
If you want to stick with the rounded rectangle shape, try using one large rectangle and if need be, use a shorter (less width) rectangle if the last line is significantly shorter than the rest of the paragraph.
Edit: see Achewood for example of what I mean.
Edit Edit: I guess I should have said jagged sides.
Ah, I see. I was thinking you meant the edges of the panels. You make a good point. Noted.
Yeah, you've improved the hell out of the readability by adding bubbles, but I think you still have a ways to go in terms of refining them. I'm not really convinced that what you guys are trying to do is better than typical spherical balloons.
Sure you probably couldn't fit all the words in the first panel into a round bubble without massive editing, but the second and third panels have a ton of wasted empty space that would benefit from having traditional speech windows. I'ma try to do a quick dirty MS paint edit to show you what I mean.
Yeah, you've improved the hell out of the readability by adding bubbles, but I think you still have a ways to go in terms of refining them. I'm not really convinced that what you guys are trying to do is better than typical spherical balloons.
Sure you probably couldn't fit all the words in the first panel into a round bubble without massive editing, but the second and third panels have a ton of wasted empty space that would benefit from having traditional speech windows. I'ma try to do a quick dirty MS paint edit to show you what I mean.
Alright here's a bit better of a breakdown hopefully. Sorry for the stupid dialog, but I couldn't resist filling the blankness in with something.
Alright so I hastely threw some bubbles in here to illustrate my point. Your really not maximizing your space. 1st panel - Don't be afraid to slightly pull your bubbles off the page or behind characters. You had black gutters on both sides of the page anyways so it's not like there's anything important that can't be covered up.
2nd panel - When your characters are 2 things in a row without interuption by anyone else, you can connect the bubbles and just have one tail instead of one tail for each bubble. It's obvious who's talking so having two is just redundant.
The rest - Everything after the "some...thing" I pretty much just put bubbles over the exact locations of where you put your text. I really think with some planning you could drastically improve your comic and the way it reads even more. You could even make the bubbles I threw in there a bit bigger and still wouldn't have to sacrifice much of the rest of the comic.
When there is like one line of dialog your bubbles don't look too bad, but in ones like the last piece of dialog, all the shapes going around each line seems way excessive. A more simplified shape can take up about the same amount of space, and be much more pleasing to the eye.
So I've been pretty busy lately and forgot to post my last comic, so now you get two for one! I'll spoiler them so I don't wear out your scroll wheels:
Thanks EWA, for the time and advice. And we both got quite a laugh from your edits. Please feel free to do that more often...the boomshakalaka is what sold it.
I agree that we should be planning a bit more ahead with the arrangement of the speech bubbles. It's something we're working on, and I think it falls into the category of "trying to fit too much in one strip", not unlike a whole bunch of other stuff we've been fixing. I'm glad that you guys are actually getting to enjoy the comic now. Keeping things simple and clean seems to be the way to go, and we're fast approaching the spot in our timeline where we've created comics AFTER getting all of this advice. So hopefully you'll be seeing those improvements in full, instead of us editing already completed strips to be consistent with changes you all have suggested.
These are pretty solid, especially the writing. I have a few suggestions, though:
Comic #1: The build up to Omega Chess seems to overwhelm the delivery of "Omega Chess!" I feel like it should dominate a greater chunk of the lower half/third of the strip. The text can also be exaggerated a lot more. Consider it its own piece of art, with granite lettering sculpted by lightning bolts. I think doing so would enhance the final delivery and improve the overall composition of the strip. Right now it's almost too balanced, the eye isn't really led to anything.
Comic #2: I really like this, but I absolutely suggest cutting the final image of the chameleon along with the "you win this round, snake." His facial expression in the previous panel is all you need. It's the perfect "Oh shit, I saw episode III, he's right!" look.
MustangArbiter of Unpopular OpinionsRegistered Userregular
edited April 2010
I personally think you could cut the omega chess line completely. It's not really a great punchline.
The punchline for me was "I think chess is pretty well much the best game ever." That's funny, Omega Chess isn't.
You could replace it with an "I know, right." but it wouldn't really matter if you didn't.
I personally think you could cut the omega chess line completely. It's not really a great punchline.
The punchline for me was "I think chess is pretty well much the best game ever." That's funny, Omega Chess isn't.
Dammit. Hindsight is always 20/20. I'm still learning when to cut things off. I often have a tendency to go a bit too long with the writing. We are always watching out for the "Garfield" ending, and this seems to almost qualify as one. Again, less is more...I'll keep it in mind. His second expression is pretty much a perfect ending there.
Each one is better than the last. I'm sorry, you pretty much have to keep doing these now.
Oh sure, the acclaim and praise might seem nice but they wear off quickly. What remains is the insurmountable pressure of performing and the despair of writer's block.
Each one is better than the last. I'm sorry, you pretty much have to keep doing these now.
Oh sure, the acclaim and praise might seem nice but they wear off quickly. What remains is the insurmountable pressure of performing and the despair of writer's block.
Just ask Fletcher and Polkster.
Shows what you know. I already HAVE writer's block.
Seriously, though, thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you're enjoying them. Expectations will make us try that much harder to make them as good as we can.
Guys. GUYS. It's Monday, and time for new comic time.
Before you all comment, I'll preface this post by saying we had quite the technical difficulties (I mentioned a couple pages back). Chris ended up losing a lot of work when his computer crapped out, and this comic was one that suffered. He re-sketched the whole thing, but opted to go minimal to make sure we keep up on our schedule. I imagine it's extremely aggravating to re-draw something once you've completed it already. Anywho, here 'tis. We'll have a fully-colored one on Thursday for sure.
The chess golem was actually one of the 3D elements I talked about early on in the thread, created in Cinema4D. I think all of the chess pieces in the strips were created that way, now that I think about it. I'll have to double-check with Chris, but I'm fairly certain.
Man I really like the art style of this comic in a back to basic sorta way. The computer generated font and word bubbles kinda kill the vibe, but the actual art looks great like that.
Man I really like the art style of this comic in a back to basic sorta way. The computer generated font and word bubbles kinda kill the vibe, but the actual art looks great like that.
That's true- if you guys had the time to re-do the lines and the bubbles it would have a real nice aesthetic feeling instead of looking like you ran out of time (even if that is what happened)
Man I really like the art style of this comic in a back to basic sorta way. The computer generated font and word bubbles kinda kill the vibe, but the actual art looks great like that.
That's true- if you guys had the time to re-do the lines and the bubbles it would have a real nice aesthetic feeling instead of looking like you ran out of time (even if that is what happened)
That's not a bad idea. Not sure if we'll have time to do that or not, but we definitely see what you're talking about. Having it all sketched kinda clashes with the crisper computer text elements. We'll keep that in mind for the future if we ever have to do something like this again.
We actually have several comics ready to go beyond what we've posted, but like I said, this strip was completely lost and re-drawn to what you see now. I guess we have to deal with the fact that it looks like we got lazy.
I really like the writing and it's funny like the rest, but that one panel designed to imitate the movement of the camera is so distracting and gives me a headache
Now, while I like the amount of text for the documentary part because thats part of the point.
I do feel that theres a lack of a ...punchy punchline.
I dont think there needs to be. I think the punchline is how he's getting everything completely wrong about ants. It doesn't have to be shocking, or laugh out loud funny. It can be ridiculous and over the top without a one-word punchline, I think.
In other words, I really liked it and I think it's fine as it is. Given your earlier comics, I doubt you're going to do this every comic or anything.
Posts
As to your debate over the size, the first one is kinda tiny and I was having trouble straining my eyes to read it. Just a personal anecdote.
Holy crap. I'm actually ashamed of that. We'll get that fixed.
And the paragraph alignment seems to change from one line to the next.
Some of your descenders are touching the stroke of the bubbles.
Also, the newer colors and layouts are worlds better than before.
Our first game is now available for free on Google Play: Frontier: Isle of the Seven Gods
Jagged edges?
Right now you're essentially putting a rounded rectangle shape around each line of text instead of using one shape to contain all of the text.
If you want to stick with the rounded rectangle shape, try using one large rectangle and if need be, use a shorter (less width) rectangle if the last line is significantly shorter than the rest of the paragraph.
Edit: see Achewood for example of what I mean.
Edit Edit: I guess I should have said jagged sides.
Ah, I see. I was thinking you meant the edges of the panels. You make a good point. Noted.
Sure you probably couldn't fit all the words in the first panel into a round bubble without massive editing, but the second and third panels have a ton of wasted empty space that would benefit from having traditional speech windows. I'ma try to do a quick dirty MS paint edit to show you what I mean.
INSTAGRAM
Alright here's a bit better of a breakdown hopefully. Sorry for the stupid dialog, but I couldn't resist filling the blankness in with something.
Alright so I hastely threw some bubbles in here to illustrate my point. Your really not maximizing your space. 1st panel - Don't be afraid to slightly pull your bubbles off the page or behind characters. You had black gutters on both sides of the page anyways so it's not like there's anything important that can't be covered up.
2nd panel - When your characters are 2 things in a row without interuption by anyone else, you can connect the bubbles and just have one tail instead of one tail for each bubble. It's obvious who's talking so having two is just redundant.
The rest - Everything after the "some...thing" I pretty much just put bubbles over the exact locations of where you put your text. I really think with some planning you could drastically improve your comic and the way it reads even more. You could even make the bubbles I threw in there a bit bigger and still wouldn't have to sacrifice much of the rest of the comic.
When there is like one line of dialog your bubbles don't look too bad, but in ones like the last piece of dialog, all the shapes going around each line seems way excessive. A more simplified shape can take up about the same amount of space, and be much more pleasing to the eye.
INSTAGRAM
Thanks EWA, for the time and advice. And we both got quite a laugh from your edits. Please feel free to do that more often...the boomshakalaka is what sold it.
I agree that we should be planning a bit more ahead with the arrangement of the speech bubbles. It's something we're working on, and I think it falls into the category of "trying to fit too much in one strip", not unlike a whole bunch of other stuff we've been fixing. I'm glad that you guys are actually getting to enjoy the comic now. Keeping things simple and clean seems to be the way to go, and we're fast approaching the spot in our timeline where we've created comics AFTER getting all of this advice. So hopefully you'll be seeing those improvements in full, instead of us editing already completed strips to be consistent with changes you all have suggested.
Comic #1: The build up to Omega Chess seems to overwhelm the delivery of "Omega Chess!" I feel like it should dominate a greater chunk of the lower half/third of the strip. The text can also be exaggerated a lot more. Consider it its own piece of art, with granite lettering sculpted by lightning bolts. I think doing so would enhance the final delivery and improve the overall composition of the strip. Right now it's almost too balanced, the eye isn't really led to anything.
Comic #2: I really like this, but I absolutely suggest cutting the final image of the chameleon along with the "you win this round, snake." His facial expression in the previous panel is all you need. It's the perfect "Oh shit, I saw episode III, he's right!" look.
Our first game is now available for free on Google Play: Frontier: Isle of the Seven Gods
The punchline for me was "I think chess is pretty well much the best game ever." That's funny, Omega Chess isn't.
You could replace it with an "I know, right." but it wouldn't really matter if you didn't.
This is exactly what I was going to suggest.
Dammit. Hindsight is always 20/20. I'm still learning when to cut things off. I often have a tendency to go a bit too long with the writing. We are always watching out for the "Garfield" ending, and this seems to almost qualify as one. Again, less is more...I'll keep it in mind. His second expression is pretty much a perfect ending there.
Also, a new post!
Its not laugh out funny, but not every comic has to be. It got a good smile though.
Agreed. These two will be with us for the long haul, so it's important to make sure the reader can care about and relate to them.
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Double agreed.
Oh sure, the acclaim and praise might seem nice but they wear off quickly. What remains is the insurmountable pressure of performing and the despair of writer's block.
Just ask Fletcher and Polkster.
i will make sure that you rue it!
p.s. this last one is one of my favourites
Webcomic Twitter Steam Wishlist SATAN
Shows what you know. I already HAVE writer's block.
Seriously, though, thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you're enjoying them. Expectations will make us try that much harder to make them as good as we can.
Before you all comment, I'll preface this post by saying we had quite the technical difficulties (I mentioned a couple pages back). Chris ended up losing a lot of work when his computer crapped out, and this comic was one that suffered. He re-sketched the whole thing, but opted to go minimal to make sure we keep up on our schedule. I imagine it's extremely aggravating to re-draw something once you've completed it already. Anywho, here 'tis. We'll have a fully-colored one on Thursday for sure.
Fletch: This doesn't count with the rueings.
but it's there so i guess you get a pass on this one....for now
<3<3
All your changes have been for the best
keep going! never stop!
INSTAGRAM
That's true- if you guys had the time to re-do the lines and the bubbles it would have a real nice aesthetic feeling instead of looking like you ran out of time (even if that is what happened)
That's not a bad idea. Not sure if we'll have time to do that or not, but we definitely see what you're talking about. Having it all sketched kinda clashes with the crisper computer text elements. We'll keep that in mind for the future if we ever have to do something like this again.
We actually have several comics ready to go beyond what we've posted, but like I said, this strip was completely lost and re-drawn to what you see now. I guess we have to deal with the fact that it looks like we got lazy.
I do feel that theres a lack of a ...punchy punchline.
I dont think there needs to be. I think the punchline is how he's getting everything completely wrong about ants. It doesn't have to be shocking, or laugh out loud funny. It can be ridiculous and over the top without a one-word punchline, I think.
In other words, I really liked it and I think it's fine as it is. Given your earlier comics, I doubt you're going to do this every comic or anything.