So I run a daycare/kindergarten/training place-thing and one of the kids is extremely naughty, has zero discipline and a difficult mother. I've worked with her to try and give her ideas on how to discipline her child but she isn't doing a good job and the amount of stress he puts on the employees is more than all the other children combined.
We want this kid to go and don't want to deal with the mom anymore. What is a nice, tactful way of going about this problem? I don't want to piss her off as she could likely cause all sorts of trouble. She's already said some bad things about us, making another customer not want to join in our services, so we can't trust her to go away peacefully.
Our business is full and we have other people that want in that we know have great, well behaved, and intelligent children that will have no problem fitting in and learning well.
We like the kid, he's smart, often funny, and very cute. But we just don't think its near worth the effort to handle him. He puts an insane amount of stress on the teachers and promoted poor behavior in other new students.
TL;DR how do i get rid of a kid in a nice way?
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Unfortunately, given the character of the lady in question, at least from what it sounds like, it's probably not going to go well, or smoothly, and you are likely to get some bad word of mouth from her. But apparently you are getting that anyway, and if the lady is driving away customers while using your services, it's not like it'll get any worse. In the long wrong it will actually probably be better for you, since she'll move on to other things to bitch about when she forgets about you guys as she won't be having constant contact to remind her of you anymore.
If she causes a scene, tell her to calm down or you will call the police. It'll be ugly no matter what, but stick to your guns.
If you think she's going to cause a scene like that though, break her the news somewhere reasonably out of sight/hearing range of the kids.
My parents own a daycare center, do that all the time. People are CRAZY at those things.
Exactly.
OP: If you're worried about her making a scene, don't. If she does you call the police and it's done with. If you're concerned about her dragging it to court, don't. Businesses have a right to turn away customers; they just can't discriminate or steal. Reimburse her for the month so there is absolutely no doubt that you owe her nothing, and turn her away.
If she tries to sue for defamation or some other ****, the law is on your side if you're square money wise. A child service provider can turn away children who are unmanageable; you aren't a public school, you aren't obligated to do anything other then what you have been paid to do and if you reject and refund payment, that's it.
It's not unnecessary.. when I worked at the library, we probably banned and barred someone every other day, and the police were always called to escort them out if they got aggressive/loud.
That's what you pay the police for. Use them!
What sort of documents do the parents have to sign to "join" the daycare? I assume some basic injury waivers? Maybe add something about maintaining minimum behavior standards, so if there's any future problems, you'll be in an even stronger position.
Just an idea, I don't know how that'd go over in that situation.
So police protection? Maybe not so much, depending..
no.. do not do her work for her. Thats part of the punishment for failing as a parent/disciplinarian for her rowdy kid. It might make her crack down on him.
he's already doing his work for her by posting here asking for a solution. He's also already doing her work for her by tolerating the kid up to this point. If it takes a little more work to get her to successfully leave with minimal trouble, I don't see how that's a problem.
But yes, the alternative is to simply say "sorry, you're not welcome here" and kick her out, with no chance for rebuttal. Depends on how he feels like going about it.
In my oldest daughters class in Jr Pre-k room was a little boy who was horrible. He would hit, push, yank hair, never listened. It got so bad that my daughter started telling us she didn't want to go anymore (and she loves going) and was afraid of this boy. I complained a few times and they were trying to work with the parents but seeing the interaction of the boy and his mom at drop off and pick up times, they let this kid walk all over them. One day i picked up my daughter and she was walking towards me when this same kid ran at her and shoved her hard. She literally hit the floor and slid. I yelled at the kid out of mommy instinct. I apologized to the teacher (it was only him and my daughter left) and she said don't worry about it. We have tried everything and nothing gets through to this child.
It got to the point i told the school I didn't want my daughter in the same class at this boy. It's gone on long enough, nothing is working they have tried. If they can't keep him away from my daughter i would pull my children and g to another school. They moved my daughter up to the next class a little early but she's smart and did fine. Eventually the bad kid left the school.
So just keep that in mind with your business. This child that is a problem can make you lose several of your other students and the parents. It's not your job to make sure this child reforms. Sounds like the parents aren't willing to do what they need too. Sometimes it's easier to just rip off the band-aid. You need to protect the other kids and the customers who can follow the rules. No one likes to hear they have a bad kid but sounds like he needs some special classes with teachers used to handle kids with behavior issues.
Make sure you have everything documented and if you have a lawyer, let them know what is up as well. There may be some state service you can call to get advice on this as well.
My aunt used to run a day care and went out of business because a woman very much like yours spread rumours about the daycare giving headlice to her kids.
Otherwise, I would say to sit down with the parent, as stated before, away from the other children and calmly explain that their child needs more personal attention than your facility can provide. Explain that you are willing to refund the months dues (if you are) and that you're sorry you're not the best fit for this child's particular needs.
This is terrible advice in most places what with it being of extremely questionable legality.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
Wasn't so terrible after I was threatened with physical harm, and it was enough for upper management to provide me with increased security measures. But, yeah there are some legal issues...
I imagine you living in a posh zone of LA where sunglasses donned, iced coffee holdin', orange tinted, sun-dress wearin', rude snob talkin', "26" *wink wink* year old, uber brat raising gold-mining cougars are your patronage.
You have an essential un-mined reality show! You could make millions.
Stop arguing this. It doesn't matter if it worked for you that one time, you're not the OP and you can't say with any certainty that the OP won't get fired or worse for setting up his own personal surveillance system at work.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
Well its my business so I'm not likely to get fired. But I'm against the idea of secret surveillance.
What annoys the fuck out of me is how parents are usually not taught a single thing about what to do with their children. I've seen so many spoiled kids or bad families resulting in terrible behavior that is all so easily preventable.
I'm going to try calling her tomorrow and see how it goes. We have some other great kids to take his spot that won't spread bad behavior like a plague.
Though I think having her come in for a meeting would be better. My "office" gives me a position of authority.
However, the contract she signed says she should give us a month's notice if she wants to quit, but we don't want her kid there for another month. We can get another one in right away and not give the teachers all that stress.
Perfect solution and I didn't have to do anything!
Plus the kid will still come to a once a week training class, so I still get to see and teach him. I do love this kid even though he's a brat.
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