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Strange and Embarrassing Moments: Italy: Land of Homoerotic Escapades

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Posts

  • firewaterwordfirewaterword Satchitananda Pais Vasco to San FranciscoRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Fodder wrote: »
    Suspenders v. Braces

    So this reminded me of a quick little story from a few years ago. My old college housemate and I flew down to New Zealand for a month to travel around and visit my family.

    We flew down to Queenstown and planned on renting a car to drive up the west coast and eventually back up to Auckland. Spent a week in Queenstown - which is pretty much paradise on earth if you ask me - then headed north.

    Stopped at some cool spots and a few days late wound up in a tiny "town" called Punakaiki. It's barely big enough to mention on a map, and wouldn't be there were it not for these badass rock formations called the pancake rocks.
    Punakaiki.jpg
    Pretty cool, no? Anyway, my buddy had to see these, so we went to check them out. Pretty cool. We were staying in hostels everywhere we went, and this place was no exception. As usual, we met some other travelers there, and decided we'd all go to the one pub in town to get a fade on and the like.

    So lots of beers later and I'm engaged in conversation with this wonderful scottish girl about everything that two fairly drunk people could possibly yammer about. Where to go in NZ, what to see, what to drink, what the states were like vs. NZ vs. scotland, et cetera. We talked for hours then went back the the hostel to pass out.

    I woke up the next morning, went to make some breakfast, and saw the girl from the night before. Went over to say what's up.

    I shit you not, I couldn't understand a word that was coming out of her mouth her accent was so crazy thick. Like moonspeak even. I tried for a few minutes but it just wasn't happening for me.

    So, moral of the story, alcohol is the key to great discussions!

    firewaterword on
    Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Understanding very thick hispanic accents in DC was pretty embarrassing for me this weekend.

    I think one guy asked me if I wanted a bag, and it sounded like, "How much do you want back" and I was all O_o.

    Or when ordering a dark meat from boston market, I got asked if I would like some black meat.

    Hm.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • corcorigancorcorigan Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Fodder wrote: »
    I've always thought fanny packs were worthy of mockery anyways, so haven't had any issues with that.

    Another rather embarrassing moment was while I was having a nice tea party with my academic family that I found out after my adoption was a bunch of the christian union people on campus, and additionally, is basically all females. It was one of the first family things we'd done and as sort of an ice breaker they wanted everyone to introduce themselves and describe their favorite pair of pajamas. Most of the people had excessively soft and pink descriptions, and basically all I could really claim was a pair of plaid pajama pants.

    Unfortunately, it was only several minutes later that I realized how terrible describing my pants must have sounded to a room full of semi-uptight girls sipping tea...

    The appropriate answer in such a situation is "naked".

    corcorigan on
    Ad Astra Per Aspera
  • BursarBursar Hee Noooo! PDX areaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Falx wrote: »
    It's really odd how the smallest little gaffe's can sometimes stay with you for the whole day.

    Like when I buy tickets at the movies, and the cashier says "Enjoy the show!" and I say "You too!"

    ...Then I spend the whole movie thinking about what a dope I sounded like. :lol:

    Bursar on
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  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    When I was younger my family went to England to visit some relatives. While we were on a train my dad wanted me to get something to drink so I went up to the guy with the cart and asked what he had. He listed what he had, but he said it really quick and I only picked up water so I asked for that. Again, he said something quickly so I just nodded and he handed me the water.

    I head back to my dad and toss him the bottle, which proceeds to spray all over him when he opens it up. Apparently the bit I nodded for was "Sparkling?". Dang Europeans and their obsession with adding carbonation.

    DaMoonRulz on
    3basnids3lf9.jpg




  • Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    When I was younger my family went to England to visit some relatives. While we were on a train my dad wanted me to get something to drink so I went up to the guy with the cart and asked what he had. He listed what he had, but he said it really quick and I only picked up water so I asked for that. Again, he said something quickly so I just nodded and he handed me the water.

    I head back to my dad and toss him the bottle, which proceeds to spray all over him when he opens it up. Apparently the bit I nodded for was "Sparkling?". Dang Europeans and their obsession with adding carbonation.

    Oh man, I remember my first discovery of "sparkling" water. I was probably about 10 and was away at this week long thing at a college. They had a coffee vending machine that also had water. One day I just wanted a cup of water, so I put in my money and looked at the choices. I saw "Water" and "Sparkling Water". Sparkling made me think of a refreshing spring on a hot summer day, so I thought, "That sounds good." After getting it and taking a drink, ugh.

    Sir Carcass on
  • GrisloGrislo Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Bursar wrote: »
    Falx wrote: »
    It's really odd how the smallest little gaffe's can sometimes stay with you for the whole day.

    Like when I buy tickets at the movies, and the cashier says "Enjoy the show!" and I say "You too!"

    ...Then I spend the whole movie thinking about what a dope I sounded like. :lol:

    I do that so often. I'm just used to people in that position saying, 'have a nice day' and auto-reply with, 'you too'.

    And I always feel silly.

    Grislo on
    This post was sponsored by Goop.

    'Get your fucking finger on the wookie'
  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Grislo wrote: »
    Bursar wrote: »
    Falx wrote: »
    It's really odd how the smallest little gaffe's can sometimes stay with you for the whole day.

    Like when I buy tickets at the movies, and the cashier says "Enjoy the show!" and I say "You too!"

    ...Then I spend the whole movie thinking about what a dope I sounded like. :lol:

    I do that so often. I'm just used to people in that position saying, 'have a nice day' and auto-reply with, 'you too'.

    And I always feel silly.

    When you leave a Costco, they have a person who checks your receipt to make sure you didn't steal anything. My wife always says "thank you" whenever they check our receipt.

    When we order something from the drive-thru, whenever someone asks "how are you?" she will say, "I'm fine, thanks. How about you?"

    RocketSauce on
  • SpacemilkSpacemilk Registered User
    edited May 2010
    Grislo wrote: »
    Bursar wrote: »
    Falx wrote: »
    It's really odd how the smallest little gaffe's can sometimes stay with you for the whole day.

    Like when I buy tickets at the movies, and the cashier says "Enjoy the show!" and I say "You too!"

    ...Then I spend the whole movie thinking about what a dope I sounded like. :lol:

    I do that so often. I'm just used to people in that position saying, 'have a nice day' and auto-reply with, 'you too'.

    And I always feel silly.
    This morning the security guy at the airport said "have a nice flight!" and I said "you too!" :( I'd've gotten over it faster if the guy in front of me hadn't smirked and made a joke. Yeah I laughed and it was funny but I blushed for a bit...

    Spacemilk on
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Grislo wrote: »
    Bursar wrote: »
    Falx wrote: »
    It's really odd how the smallest little gaffe's can sometimes stay with you for the whole day.

    Like when I buy tickets at the movies, and the cashier says "Enjoy the show!" and I say "You too!"

    ...Then I spend the whole movie thinking about what a dope I sounded like. :lol:

    I do that so often. I'm just used to people in that position saying, 'have a nice day' and auto-reply with, 'you too'.

    And I always feel silly.

    When you leave a Costco, they have a person who checks your receipt to make sure you didn't steal anything. My wife always says "thank you" whenever they check our receipt.

    When we order something from the drive-thru, whenever someone asks "how are you?" she will say, "I'm fine, thanks. How about you?"

    It's such a retarded way to take someone's order. We're not making smalltalk, you're taking my order, welcome me and take my order. Taco bell is the most guilty of this where I live.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • adytumadytum Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    A week or two ago I bought something off of Craigslist. After we exchanged money, the girl said "Enjoy them!" to which I replied "You too!"

    Moments later I realized how stupid what I had just said was, so I half-mumbled half-said "I mean.. enjoy the $10.. as much as you can enjoy $10.." as I walked away.

    Which she heard, and sort of responded to with a o_O face, and made the situation that much more awkward..

    adytum on
    etxvv5.jpg
  • EndEnd Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    If I've learned one thing, it's don't draw more attention to your blunder.

    End on
    I wish that someway, somehow, that I could save every one of us
    zaleiria-by-lexxy-sig.jpgsteam~tinythumb.png
  • adytumadytum Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    She was hot and I was trying to play it off.

    I failed.

    adytum on
    etxvv5.jpg
  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    bowen wrote: »
    Grislo wrote: »
    Bursar wrote: »
    Falx wrote: »
    It's really odd how the smallest little gaffe's can sometimes stay with you for the whole day.

    Like when I buy tickets at the movies, and the cashier says "Enjoy the show!" and I say "You too!"

    ...Then I spend the whole movie thinking about what a dope I sounded like. :lol:

    I do that so often. I'm just used to people in that position saying, 'have a nice day' and auto-reply with, 'you too'.

    And I always feel silly.

    When you leave a Costco, they have a person who checks your receipt to make sure you didn't steal anything. My wife always says "thank you" whenever they check our receipt.

    When we order something from the drive-thru, whenever someone asks "how are you?" she will say, "I'm fine, thanks. How about you?"

    It's such a retarded way to take someone's order. We're not making smalltalk, you're taking my order, welcome me and take my order. Taco bell is the most guilty of this where I live.

    My wife always orders the same thing I do, yet every time we pull up and wait in line, I ask her what she wants. She cranes her head to look at the menu, thinks it over, then asks what I'm getting. She will give my order, then like a carbon copy, say the exact same order for her. Then the person taking our order will say, "So you just want the same thing?" which I'm sure my wife's response is muffled by my explaining the idiocy of us doing this literally every time we order.

    RocketSauce on
  • SkittlebrauSkittlebrau Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
  • skarsolskarsol Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    The last 30 seconds of that clip is strange and embarrassing.

    skarsol on
    why are you smelling it?
  • Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Beated with the Brian Regan reference.

    Sir Carcass on
  • rad4Christrad4Christ Registered User
    edited May 2010
    Decomposey wrote: »
    At my school we had what we called Anarchy Ball. Like dodgeball, only no teams. If you hit someone, they were out, if they caught your ball, you were out, if the person who got you out gets out, you come back in. Only way to win was if you, alone, were responsible for getting out every single person in the gym. Sometimes it would be down to four people, then one person would get out and put fifteen people back into play. Game could go on forever. Only once did someone actually WIN.

    I know we've moved on, but I have to say, I did this last Wednesday and about half my teenagers joined in. This game, with 30-40 people, oh my, SO MUCH FUN! I now feel old and fat instead of just looking it.

    We actually got down to two people, and the winner pegged out the last guy, BUT we had a rule if the ball rolled into the highway, the thrower was out (and subsequently whomever s/he pegged was back in). This happened, and about 30 people swarmed the field again. I think this is now a staple game for us. Thanks!

    Oh, the embarrassing part (to make this on topic), people quickly learned to aim for the feet to avoid their balls getting caught. One kid, who was really dominating leapt really high to avoid it hitting his feet, however the thrower aimed for his chest...

    Subsequently, after sitting in the fetal position, HIS balls in hand for about 5 minutes, he spent the next 30 on the sidelines with an ice pack...

    rad4Christ on
  • CorlisCorlis Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    rad4Christ wrote: »
    Decomposey wrote: »
    At my school we had what we called Anarchy Ball. Like dodgeball, only no teams. If you hit someone, they were out, if they caught your ball, you were out, if the person who got you out gets out, you come back in. Only way to win was if you, alone, were responsible for getting out every single person in the gym. Sometimes it would be down to four people, then one person would get out and put fifteen people back into play. Game could go on forever. Only once did someone actually WIN.

    I know we've moved on, but I have to say, I did this last Wednesday and about half my teenagers joined in. This game, with 30-40 people, oh my, SO MUCH FUN! I now feel old and fat instead of just looking it.

    We actually got down to two people, and the winner pegged out the last guy, BUT we had a rule if the ball rolled into the highway, the thrower was out (and subsequently whomever s/he pegged was back in). This happened, and about 30 people swarmed the field again. I think this is now a staple game for us. Thanks!

    Oh, the embarrassing part (to make this on topic), people quickly learned to aim for the feet to avoid their balls getting caught. One kid, who was really dominating leapt really high to avoid it hitting his feet, however the thrower aimed for his chest...

    Subsequently, after sitting in the fetal position, HIS balls in hand for about 5 minutes, he spent the next 30 on the sidelines with an ice pack...
    Are you guys using baseballs for this game or what? D:

    Corlis on
    But I don't mind, as long as there's a bed beneath the stars that shine,
    I'll be fine, just give me a minute, a man's got a limit, I can't get a life if my heart's not in it.
  • ueanuean Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Grislo wrote: »
    Bursar wrote: »
    Falx wrote: »
    It's really odd how the smallest little gaffe's can sometimes stay with you for the whole day.

    Like when I buy tickets at the movies, and the cashier says "Enjoy the show!" and I say "You too!"

    ...Then I spend the whole movie thinking about what a dope I sounded like. :lol:

    I do that so often. I'm just used to people in that position saying, 'have a nice day' and auto-reply with, 'you too'.

    And I always feel silly.

    When you leave a Costco, they have a person who checks your receipt to make sure you didn't steal anything. My wife always says "thank you" whenever they check our receipt.

    When we order something from the drive-thru, whenever someone asks "how are you?" she will say, "I'm fine, thanks. How about you?"

    She sounds Canadian

    (I do both of those things)

    uean on
    Guys? Hay guys?
    PSN - sumowot
  • nescientistnescientist Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    uean wrote: »
    Grislo wrote: »
    Bursar wrote: »
    Falx wrote: »
    It's really odd how the smallest little gaffe's can sometimes stay with you for the whole day.

    Like when I buy tickets at the movies, and the cashier says "Enjoy the show!" and I say "You too!"

    ...Then I spend the whole movie thinking about what a dope I sounded like. :lol:

    I do that so often. I'm just used to people in that position saying, 'have a nice day' and auto-reply with, 'you too'.

    And I always feel silly.

    When you leave a Costco, they have a person who checks your receipt to make sure you didn't steal anything. My wife always says "thank you" whenever they check our receipt.

    When we order something from the drive-thru, whenever someone asks "how are you?" she will say, "I'm fine, thanks. How about you?"

    She sounds Canadian

    (I do both of those things)
    These are not weird things to do. That guy isn't examining your receipt because he thinks you look shifty, he's doing it because it's his job; if he doesn't hassle me it's not out of line (though hardly obligatory) to thank him for doing his job properly. I have never once gotten a straight answer from a McDonalds/BK/Carl's Junior etc. employee because they're usually too flabbergasted that I would deign to inquire about their well-being, but I've developed a wonderful relationship with the entire staff at my local Dutch Brothers (drive-thru coffee chain in the northwest). I tend to go there in the afternoon when there's rarely another car behind me, so it's not like I'm holding up a line with small-talk or something stupid like that. Just treating humans as humans instead of retail-dispensing (or in my case coffee-dispensing) automatons.

    nescientist on
  • simulacrumsimulacrum She/herRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Bursar wrote: »
    Falx wrote: »
    It's really odd how the smallest little gaffe's can sometimes stay with you for the whole day.

    Like when I buy tickets at the movies, and the cashier says "Enjoy the show!" and I say "You too!"

    ...Then I spend the whole movie thinking about what a dope I sounded like. :lol:

    I seem to do this constantly. >.>

    simulacrum on
  • RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    bowen wrote: »
    Or when ordering a dark meat from boston market, I got asked if I would like some black meat.

    .

    Did he say black or did he say negro?


    My story is simple, I forgot my ex wife's birthday the first year we were dating. She was upset. Very upset. At the end of the night, her former roommate had pictures of me with makeup on and two purple hickeys on my pale cheecks. If I ever run for office, I be in tears trying to explain it.

    Also, the times I took a nap at her dorm and she and her roommate piled feminine products, bras, and ice cream on my while I slept and took pictures. my face was 0_0 when I saw them 3 months later.

    RoyceSraphim on
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2010
    simulacrum wrote: »
    Bursar wrote: »
    Falx wrote: »
    It's really odd how the smallest little gaffe's can sometimes stay with you for the whole day.

    Like when I buy tickets at the movies, and the cashier says "Enjoy the show!" and I say "You too!"

    ...Then I spend the whole movie thinking about what a dope I sounded like. :lol:

    I seem to do this constantly. >.>

    This is a conversation I initiated:

    "Hey, how's it going?"
    "Good. How are you?"
    "Eh, fine. You?.. Wait, I already asked that, didn't I?"

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • XaevXaev Registered User
    edited May 2010
    Scalfin wrote: »
    simulacrum wrote: »
    Bursar wrote: »
    Falx wrote: »
    It's really odd how the smallest little gaffe's can sometimes stay with you for the whole day.

    Like when I buy tickets at the movies, and the cashier says "Enjoy the show!" and I say "You too!"

    ...Then I spend the whole movie thinking about what a dope I sounded like. :lol:

    I seem to do this constantly. >.>

    This is a conversation I initiated:

    "Hey, how's it going?"
    "Good. How are you?"
    "Eh, fine. You?.. Wait, I already asked that, didn't I?"

    A conversation I had with my manager at work:

    Manager: How are you doing?
    Me: How about you?
    Manager: I'm doing pretty well.
    Me: I'm good... wait, I just did that backwards, didn't I?

    Xaev on
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  • UEAKCrashUEAKCrash heh Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    I had an epic response from my manager at work awhile back along the same lines. I think he was having a bad day or just in a bad mood, but I helped lighten him up a bit I think.

    <walking towards each other>
    Me: "Hey, <manager> whats up?"
    Manager: "Do you really care?"
    Me, without skipping a beat: "Nope!"
    Manager: "attaboy."
    <part ways>

    I felt as if we became closer that day.

    UEAKCrash on
  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Gotta get those 'attaboys somehow

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Christmas-Man!Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Ohhhhhh how did I not realize this thread was back?

    edit: And that I've already posted in it earlier? That's pretty embarrassing.

    cooljammer00 on
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  • CyvrosCyvros Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Scalfin wrote: »
    simulacrum wrote: »
    Bursar wrote: »
    Falx wrote: »
    It's really odd how the smallest little gaffe's can sometimes stay with you for the whole day.

    Like when I buy tickets at the movies, and the cashier says "Enjoy the show!" and I say "You too!"

    ...Then I spend the whole movie thinking about what a dope I sounded like. :lol:

    I seem to do this constantly. >.>

    This is a conversation I initiated:

    "Hey, how's it going?"
    "Good. How are you?"
    "Eh, fine. You?.. Wait, I already asked that, didn't I?"
    At work, we have to approach each customer to make sure they're all served and happy and everything. So on really busy days at work, I may re-approach customers without realising it.

    "Hello there! How're you?"
    "... Good, thanks. Just looking."
    "... I've asked you, haven't I?"
    "Yes."
    "Ah. Right. Whoops. Sorry, bad memory for faces."

    That exact conversation every time.

    Cyvros on
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    There is a small adjustment period at my work for figuring out exactly what to ask a customer


    for example, customers get given table numbers at the register, we take them back after delivering their coffee, but occaisionally they have another order under the same number, so we have to ask if they have another order.

    You need brevity, clarity, politeness and friendliness

    I settled on "Do you have any other orders waiting? No? thank you very much"

    took a couple weeks to have one of these for every situation

    a very awkward couple of weeks

    The Black Hunter on
  • DangerousDangerous Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Cyvros wrote: »
    At work, we have to approach each customer to make sure they're all served and happy and everything. So on really busy days at work, I may re-approach customers without realising it.

    "Hello there! How're you?"
    "... Good, thanks. Just looking."
    "... I've asked you, haven't I?"
    "Yes."
    "Ah. Right. Whoops. Sorry, bad memory for faces."

    That exact conversation every time.

    Haha I am totally guilty of the same thing.

    At my old job I worked a customer service desk. Whenever someone brought in a defective product, I'd write it up then tell them to go grab another one off the shelf and bring it back, so I could do up a new receipt for them.

    They'd come back about 10 minutes later with the product in hand. A combination of terrible memory and automated response would lead me to say "Hi there, what can I do for you today?"

    "Uh, you told me to go grab another one of these off the shelf, remember?"
    "Huh...so I did. Heheheh....sigh"

    Dangerous on
    sig2-2.jpg
  • UEAKCrashUEAKCrash heh Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    I am terrible at remembering a customers face.

    I work in a meat department at a grocery store. There has been so many times a customer will ask me to look for something in the back or cut something for them and I'll go back, do it, come back out and realize I have no idea who I did it for. I usually just wander around looking at everyone hoping they'll acknowledge me back.

    UEAKCrash on
  • DarkCrawlerDarkCrawler Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    How about "What do we know today?" It's something old people ask kids here, for some reason. I never knew what to answer to that, still don't.

    I know a lot of shit, goddamnit, just ask "How are you?" so I can answer "Fine".

    DarkCrawler on
  • DangerousDangerous Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    My co-worker with downs syndrome had the perfect response to their silly old people questions. He would, rather loudly, inform them that they were old.

    "What's the word today sonny?"
    "YOU'RE OLD!"
    "I...what..excuse me?"
    *points a finger at them* "HE'S OLD!!"

    Meanwhile I'd be looking on with horror and trying not to laugh.

    Dangerous on
    sig2-2.jpg
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    bowen wrote: »
    Or when ordering a dark meat from boston market, I got asked if I would like some black meat.

    Did he say black or did he say negro?

    They were hispanic, so I'm pretty sure it was black. Though, I hard a really hard time understanding most minimum wage job-ers while there.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • LacroixLacroix Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    A friend came back to me with this gem from his manager, who informed everyone loudly during their meeting, and in all seriousness, that Icelandic people were wastrels for not paying compensation to airlines because of the volcanic ash cloud. "After all, BP is paying for the oil spill isn't it?"

    I have heard similar such stories, and because she is the loudest voice in the room when it comes to arguments, people just avoid confrontation with her, so no one bothered to explain how 'volcanic ash cloud' and 'oil spill' are pretty different in terms of responsibility.

    Lacroix on
  • SipexSipex Registered User
    edited May 2010
    Hahaha, classic.

    Sipex on
  • WitchdrWitchdr Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    I've got so many i could fill two pages myself, it's actually a running gag with my friends.

    I was at my after-prom where I ran into a girl who went to school with us in middle school but moved away for high school. Well we were friends in middle school and it turned out that those 4 years treater her very well
    kick ass titties!
    Sorry thats all we think about at that age

    So i'm very good with faces but damn if i can remember names. So we are chatting for like 15 min (my desperate attempts to get her to come home with me that night) and then mid conversation she goes "Jason do you remember my name?"

    So at this point i'm totally caught and since it was 4 years I figured I had a legit excuse and I admitted that I had forgotten her name but then (and not aware of how creepy it would seem) was able to rattle off what classes we had together in the 3 years of middle school we shared 4 years ago (my mind works in odd ways).

    Now this seemed to satisfy her because it showed that while I suck with names I did remember her and then she reminded me of her name lets say Xena (it was something non traditional). So I walked away to grab a drink and we meet up again and start talking ~10 min later. Naturally I assume things are going in my favor :winky: then mid conversation she stops and goes "You forgot my name again didn't you?" o_O Which I did sadly enough.

    Needless to say we didnt speak much after that.

    Witchdr on
    "Look, all I know is that this cord was plugged into my house and your house was glowing like the freakin' sun. So, I put two and two together there and decided that you're pissing me off." -Carl Brutananadilewski

    In regards to the advocates of his former empire: “I was going to have them all executed… the Royal Advocate talked me out of it.” -Shadowthrone (Emperor Kellanved)

    Handles: LoL-Emerging, BF4/Hardline-Whiskeyjack227, Steam-Fragglerock, HOTS/Blizzard-Whiskeyjack#1333, Life-Jason
  • WitchdrWitchdr Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Here is another classic one:

    So after I graduated college a bunch of my buddies and I went down to Daytona Beach for a vacation. While down there we were all in 1 car driving around getting food. One of my friends had gotten the idea to hit up a strip club, which I wasn’t really keen on. Then when I point out we don’t know where one would be, the iPhones fly out and we are on track to “the Lollypop”. Damn engineers and their resourcefulness and sad personal lives.

    Now I don’t consider myself a prude but there is something about the idea of a strip club that never sat right for me. Maybe it’s the fact that I know they only want to suck money out of me, maybe it’s my general dislike of VD, but I was not interested in my first trip into a strip club. But in a pack of 7 guys you can’t be the one to bitch out.

    So we walk up and I decided that I’ll just say the cover charge is too high and use that as a, albeit lame, excuse. Well lucky for me the cover is $5 (yay discount strip clubs!) so now I’m inside this strip club, oh and I forgot to mention that I never combed my hair and I’m wearing a shit which has a scene from Dr. Mcninja with a gorilla high-fiving a shark with an explosion in the background (which, by the way, lights up like a fucking Christmas tree in the black light of a strip club). So we all sit down at tables, not even 5 minutes after I sit down I feel arms wrap around my neck and a tongue, yes a tongue, in my ear. A stripper then tells me to pull my chair out, and I follow her orders like I’m hypnotized and she jumps on my and starts giving me a lap dance.

    Now at this point I figure that this must be my friends fucking with me, they paid this chick for the lap dance and are now getting their laughs.

    So she’s grinding away and I am so embarrassed/panic stricken/ baffled that I just sit there hands at my side like a fucking statue. The stripper then tells me to relax and then informs me that I can put my hands where-ever I would like. She then grabs my left hand and puts it on her left thigh. So now I’m frozen still with my right hand still at my side and my left hand draped across my body and glued to her thigh. As she is grinding on me she leans in and says something, now for the record I can’t hear for shit when there is loud music playing, so like an old man I ask her “What?” She then leans in and tells me, and this is a direct quote: “ I want to molest your cock with my mouth”. To which I naturally reply, “That’s nice” and then go back into frozen baffled mode.

    About 5 min later she leans in again and all I hear is “ We should go to the back room muffle muffle you with a vibrator”
    Now I once again perk up and say “ WHAT?!” Thinking what does she want to do to me with a vibrator”
    She then clarifies: “ If we go to the back room I’ll suck you cock with a vibrator I put on my tongue”
    To which I reply “oh…. How the hell does that work” (damn the engineer in me)

    Now at this time the DJ calls her up on stage, so she drags me to the state to watch her on the pole. She starts dancing on the pole, crawls over to me shoves her tits in my face yet again and then pulls on her garter looking for a tip, to which I give her the 1 dollar I had in my pocket. She then wonders off to some sucker with actual money and leaves me be finally.

    I walk back to my table and find out that 1 of my friends left to hit up the sports bar a building over and I decided that my experience was enough and left.

    It turns out my friends never set that up.

    Total cost for that night:
    Cover charged was picked up by friend.
    Beer was picked up by friend.
    Stripper got $1 from me.

    Total: $1

    The look on my face during this entire ordeal:

    Priceless

    And that is the story of my first (and to date) only trip to a strip club.

    Witchdr on
    "Look, all I know is that this cord was plugged into my house and your house was glowing like the freakin' sun. So, I put two and two together there and decided that you're pissing me off." -Carl Brutananadilewski

    In regards to the advocates of his former empire: “I was going to have them all executed… the Royal Advocate talked me out of it.” -Shadowthrone (Emperor Kellanved)

    Handles: LoL-Emerging, BF4/Hardline-Whiskeyjack227, Steam-Fragglerock, HOTS/Blizzard-Whiskeyjack#1333, Life-Jason
  • SipexSipex Registered User
    edited May 2010
    Wow, I felt embaressed reading that, I can't imagine how bad it would've been for you.

    Sipex on
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