when i put on a suit, i would like to think i look dapper
but i am told i instead look like i am there to ask you very politely as to the whereabouts of the money you owe
Pony, you are the local enforcer. We know where to go to break a few legs for our legitimate business.
fun fact
actually used to do this for a while
not nearly as cool as tv portrays it
for example, people do not cower in fear just because you are some looming big guy in a suit
sometimes, they hit you in the face with a baseball bat and leave you unconscious under a tarp in their garage
things i learned: it's actually very difficult, if not more or less impossible, for an unarmed man to adequately defend or even protect himself from a determined fellow with an aluminum bat.
even if you think you're some bad-ass martial arts guy or something, you block a hit with your shoulder and your entire left arm goes numb and the wind is taken out of you
and then you take a couple to the head, and goodnight fella
Jesus, you take a couple to the head from an aluminium bat and I'll be surprised if you're still alive.
i have had a number of concussions in my lifetime
a neurologist, following my stroke, told me directly to my face that it is unclear how much of my brain damage is from the stroke and how much was... pre-existing.
Pony on
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HonkHonk is this poster.Registered User, __BANNED USERSregular
i don't mind telling wacky anecdotes, especially ones that are horrifying and ultimately cautionary tales about how i'm an utter life-failure
but making money off those experiences is uh
no thank you
This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.
Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.
Think of it as teaching others not to make your same mistakes. The money is a secondary bonus. But I can understand not wanting to publish everything wrong you have done in life since you actually have morals.
things i learned: it's actually very difficult, if not more or less impossible, for an unarmed man to adequately defend or even protect himself from a determined fellow with an aluminum bat.
even if you think you're some bad-ass martial arts guy or something, you block a hit with your shoulder and your entire left arm goes numb and the wind is taken out of you
and then you take a couple to the head, and goodnight fella
I don't know if it would be as effective with a bat, but I find that having a few drinks beforehand helps with tire irons.
Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.
I laughed during Angela's Ashes, both the book and the movie.
i am that guy that puts tennis shoes with his suit when he's not trying to impress people
yeah
i'm that guy
shut up
if i cared what you thought i'd wear my dress shoes
dlinfiniti on
AAAAA!!! PLAAAYGUUU!!!!
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HonkHonk is this poster.Registered User, __BANNED USERSregular
edited May 2010
Hello, I am Honk and I have never been bludgeoned with blunt objects.
This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.
Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.
Whenever I see those I think of Dara O'Briens joke title, 'Touched, but Not by an Angel' and giggle a little inside.
i don't mind telling wacky anecdotes, especially ones that are horrifying and ultimately cautionary tales about how i'm an utter life-failure
but making money off those experiences is uh
no thank you
This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.
Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.
that's still a pretty strong market, near as i can tell
i am that guy that puts tennis shoes with his suit when he's not trying to impress people
yeah
i'm that guy
shut up
if i cared what you thought i'd wear my dress shoes
Someone who can't match shoes to an outfit? Ok you big rebel.
Preacher on
I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.
i don't mind telling wacky anecdotes, especially ones that are horrifying and ultimately cautionary tales about how i'm an utter life-failure
but making money off those experiences is uh
no thank you
This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.
Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.
well, there's a couple things
1. i don't believe that the universe works on some kind of system where people become entitled to good or bad shit based on their lives up to that point. if i did, by all rights i should suffered some kind of massive and unsurvivable retribution hurricane because while most people think i'm a pretty decent bloke nowadays as a whole i've put more bad in this world than good by tremendous orders of magnitude.
2. i feel pretty colossal amounts of guilt over much of my young life and the idea of profiting from those times even in some side way years later is abhorrent to me. the only thing i feel i should have gained from those experiences is the knowledge that they were bad decisions.
i don't mind telling wacky anecdotes, especially ones that are horrifying and ultimately cautionary tales about how i'm an utter life-failure
but making money off those experiences is uh
no thank you
This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.
Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.
Yep, worked in a bookstore then. Screw Frank McCourt.
i don't mind telling wacky anecdotes, especially ones that are horrifying and ultimately cautionary tales about how i'm an utter life-failure
but making money off those experiences is uh
no thank you
This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.
Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.
This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.
Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.
Whenever I see those I think of Dara O'Briens joke title, 'Touched, but Not by an Angel' and giggle a little inside.
I just thought it was funny that someone could make a display themed around "abused as a child" without ever stepping back and thinking "what the fuck was I thinking?".
japan on
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HonkHonk is this poster.Registered User, __BANNED USERSregular
This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.
Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.
Whenever I see those I think of Dara O'Briens joke title, 'Touched, but Not by an Angel' and giggle a little inside.
I just thought it was funny that someone could make a display themed around "abused as a child" without ever stepping back and thinking "what the fuck was I thinking?".
Man I would purposefully do that. Call it the "Women that Winky has a chance with" section and move on for hilarity sake.
Preacher on
I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.
i purposefully try to tell some of my more heinous acts and shit as big, wacky anecdotes that are all gonzo-esque
because that makes them less real and thus less horrifying to people, they can laugh about it in a dark way
it helps, because it lets me be able to talk about these things and express some of the emotions i feel about them but in a way that doesn't alienate people and make them terrified of me
Though my biggest bike stack involved a split helmet, so chances are I may have done.
I think I've probably had two. The first when I was about 6, in a bike accident that I spent a couple days in the hospital for, was definitely a concussion.
The second was the tire iron incident, that I'm not sure about since I didn't get medical attention beyond the EMTs, but wouldn't be at all surprised if I had one.
Posts
i have had a number of concussions in my lifetime
a neurologist, following my stroke, told me directly to my face that it is unclear how much of my brain damage is from the stroke and how much was... pre-existing.
It's the Day Several Days After Tomorrow.
Which museum did you go to?
Face Twit Rav Gram
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ux0EA-YDGk&feature=fvsr
This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.
Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.
You were speaking of medical attention. I was asking if you had hurt yourself using a British idiom.
no i am brown
I laughed during Angela's Ashes, both the book and the movie.
yeah
i'm that guy
shut up
if i cared what you thought i'd wear my dress shoes
Whenever I see those I think of Dara O'Briens joke title, 'Touched, but Not by an Angel' and giggle a little inside.
Well then
Did you mug that guy?
Edit: Actually you look very dapper in that picture.
that's still a pretty strong market, near as i can tell
especially if you make it sound funny
I've only been bludgeoned with fists and feet. And once with a boot tied to twenty feet of rope.
Someone who can't match shoes to an outfit? Ok you big rebel.
pleasepaypreacher.net
well, there's a couple things
1. i don't believe that the universe works on some kind of system where people become entitled to good or bad shit based on their lives up to that point. if i did, by all rights i should suffered some kind of massive and unsurvivable retribution hurricane because while most people think i'm a pretty decent bloke nowadays as a whole i've put more bad in this world than good by tremendous orders of magnitude.
2. i feel pretty colossal amounts of guilt over much of my young life and the idea of profiting from those times even in some side way years later is abhorrent to me. the only thing i feel i should have gained from those experiences is the knowledge that they were bad decisions.
There is something particularly decadent about wandering around the house naked from the waist down
I don't know where that thought came from
Yep, worked in a bookstore then. Screw Frank McCourt.
Took a baseball bat to the hand (full on swing) accidentally; dislocated the fingers on my left hand (saddest week of my life).
pleasepaypreacher.net
probably not the same one
I love that they all look identical
I just thought it was funny that someone could make a display themed around "abused as a child" without ever stepping back and thinking "what the fuck was I thinking?".
I once fell off a gym mattress going down a ski slope at unfathomable speed and got a concussion. But really I was the one bludgeoning the ground.
Poor ground.
once
over ten years ago!
it still hurts, as i have a bit of bone and scar tissue floating around in there as an occasionally painful lump
man vs. bat
man loses
Man I would purposefully do that. Call it the "Women that Winky has a chance with" section and move on for hilarity sake.
pleasepaypreacher.net
The Palacio Real and the Museo del Prado
they were both super keen
that much was obvious, but thank you!
Long list for me. But never a plate! Four sets of dishware and never a plate or bowl.
Though my biggest bike stack involved a split helmet, so chances are I may have done.
But what about your face, man
What did he do to your face?
because that makes them less real and thus less horrifying to people, they can laugh about it in a dark way
it helps, because it lets me be able to talk about these things and express some of the emotions i feel about them but in a way that doesn't alienate people and make them terrified of me
You in Madrid? You should go to the Museum of the Americas
Can't blame that on some guy who just beat him up. Pony is naturally that pretty.
pleasepaypreacher.net
my face is fine
all things told i have a pretty decent mug for all the shit that's been done to me
i have some facial scars, lumps of scar tissue on my cheekbones, but nothing gnarly
i took the bat blows to the side and back of my head so, they didn't really hit my face
Oooooh. Lucky lucky.
I'm guessing you're somewhat fluent in Spanish? Or just Portuguese (since IIRC, Brazil's language is Portuguese)?
Face Twit Rav Gram
Must be one of those southern idioms
real answer: leg hurts / is partly numb. Don't know why
The second was the tire iron incident, that I'm not sure about since I didn't get medical attention beyond the EMTs, but wouldn't be at all surprised if I had one.