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Fancy [CHAT]

1356770

Posts

  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    Arch wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    when i put on a suit, i would like to think i look dapper

    but i am told i instead look like i am there to ask you very politely as to the whereabouts of the money you owe

    Pony, you are the local enforcer. We know where to go to break a few legs for our legitimate business.

    fun fact

    actually used to do this for a while

    not nearly as cool as tv portrays it

    for example, people do not cower in fear just because you are some looming big guy in a suit

    sometimes, they hit you in the face with a baseball bat and leave you unconscious under a tarp in their garage

    D:

    things i learned: it's actually very difficult, if not more or less impossible, for an unarmed man to adequately defend or even protect himself from a determined fellow with an aluminum bat.

    even if you think you're some bad-ass martial arts guy or something, you block a hit with your shoulder and your entire left arm goes numb and the wind is taken out of you

    and then you take a couple to the head, and goodnight fella

    Jesus, you take a couple to the head from an aluminium bat and I'll be surprised if you're still alive.

    i have had a number of concussions in my lifetime

    a neurologist, following my stroke, told me directly to my face that it is unclear how much of my brain damage is from the stroke and how much was... pre-existing.

    Pony on
  • HonkHonk Honk is this poster. Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2010
    june 12?

    It's the Day Several Days After Tomorrow.

    Honk on
    PSN: Honkalot
  • PasserbyePasserbye I am much older than you. in Beach CityRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Elldren wrote: »
    I got to see centuries old sporting goods today

    also: what sort of mischief mr. Bob?

    Which museum did you go to?

    Passerbye on
  • TavTav Irish Minister for DefenceRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    youtube related videos are fucking abhorrent

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ux0EA-YDGk&feature=fvsr

    Tav on
  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    i don't mind telling wacky anecdotes, especially ones that are horrifying and ultimately cautionary tales about how i'm an utter life-failure

    but making money off those experiences is uh

    no thank you

    This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.

    Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.

    japan on
  • MazzyxMazzyx Comedy Gold Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Think of it as teaching others not to make your same mistakes. The money is a secondary bonus. But I can understand not wanting to publish everything wrong you have done in life since you actually have morals.

    Mazzyx on
    u7stthr17eud.png
  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    things i learned: it's actually very difficult, if not more or less impossible, for an unarmed man to adequately defend or even protect himself from a determined fellow with an aluminum bat.

    even if you think you're some bad-ass martial arts guy or something, you block a hit with your shoulder and your entire left arm goes numb and the wind is taken out of you

    and then you take a couple to the head, and goodnight fella
    I don't know if it would be as effective with a bat, but I find that having a few drinks beforehand helps with tire irons.

    Thanatos on
  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Elldren wrote: »
    also: what sort of mischief mr. Bob?

    You were speaking of medical attention. I was asking if you had hurt yourself using a British idiom.

    japan on
  • Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Nocturne wrote: »
    Shaz are you the white guy in that picture?

    Because you look like you're afraid you're about to get mugged.

    no i am brown

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
  • TavTav Irish Minister for DefenceRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    japan wrote: »
    Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.

    I laughed during Angela's Ashes, both the book and the movie.

    Tav on
  • dlinfinitidlinfiniti Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    i am that guy that puts tennis shoes with his suit when he's not trying to impress people
    yeah
    i'm that guy
    shut up
    if i cared what you thought i'd wear my dress shoes

    dlinfiniti on
    AAAAA!!! PLAAAYGUUU!!!!
  • HonkHonk Honk is this poster. Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2010
    Hello, I am Honk and I have never been bludgeoned with blunt objects.

    Honk on
    PSN: Honkalot
  • LeitnerLeitner Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    japan wrote: »
    This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.

    Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.

    Whenever I see those I think of Dara O'Briens joke title, 'Touched, but Not by an Angel' and giggle a little inside.

    Leitner on
  • NocturneNocturne Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Nocturne wrote: »
    Shaz are you the white guy in that picture?

    Because you look like you're afraid you're about to get mugged.

    no i am brown

    Well then

    Did you mug that guy?

    Edit: Actually you look very dapper in that picture.

    Nocturne on
  • MazzyxMazzyx Comedy Gold Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    I have been hit with a few baseballs going at rather high speeds. That is about it.

    Mazzyx on
    u7stthr17eud.png
  • RustRust __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2010
    japan wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    i don't mind telling wacky anecdotes, especially ones that are horrifying and ultimately cautionary tales about how i'm an utter life-failure

    but making money off those experiences is uh

    no thank you

    This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.

    Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.

    that's still a pretty strong market, near as i can tell

    especially if you make it sound funny

    Rust on
  • Aroused BullAroused Bull Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Honk wrote: »
    Hello, I am Honk and I have never been bludgeoned with blunt objects.

    I've only been bludgeoned with fists and feet. And once with a boot tied to twenty feet of rope.

    Aroused Bull on
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    dlinfiniti wrote: »
    i am that guy that puts tennis shoes with his suit when he's not trying to impress people
    yeah
    i'm that guy
    shut up
    if i cared what you thought i'd wear my dress shoes

    Someone who can't match shoes to an outfit? Ok you big rebel.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    japan wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    i don't mind telling wacky anecdotes, especially ones that are horrifying and ultimately cautionary tales about how i'm an utter life-failure

    but making money off those experiences is uh

    no thank you

    This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.

    Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.

    well, there's a couple things

    1. i don't believe that the universe works on some kind of system where people become entitled to good or bad shit based on their lives up to that point. if i did, by all rights i should suffered some kind of massive and unsurvivable retribution hurricane because while most people think i'm a pretty decent bloke nowadays as a whole i've put more bad in this world than good by tremendous orders of magnitude.

    2. i feel pretty colossal amounts of guilt over much of my young life and the idea of profiting from those times even in some side way years later is abhorrent to me. the only thing i feel i should have gained from those experiences is the knowledge that they were bad decisions.

    Pony on
  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    dlinfiniti wrote: »
    shut up
    if i cared what you thought i'd wear something below the waist

    There is something particularly decadent about wandering around the house naked from the waist down

    I don't know where that thought came from

    japan on
  • ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    japan wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    i don't mind telling wacky anecdotes, especially ones that are horrifying and ultimately cautionary tales about how i'm an utter life-failure

    but making money off those experiences is uh

    no thank you

    This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.

    Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.

    Yep, worked in a bookstore then. Screw Frank McCourt.

    Thomamelas on
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    I have been hit with a few baseballs going at rather high speeds. That is about it.

    Took a baseball bat to the hand (full on swing) accidentally; dislocated the fingers on my left hand (saddest week of my life).

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • ElendilElendil Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    japan wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    i don't mind telling wacky anecdotes, especially ones that are horrifying and ultimately cautionary tales about how i'm an utter life-failure

    but making money off those experiences is uh

    no thank you

    This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.

    Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.

    probably not the same one
    800px-Tragic_Life_Stories.jpg

    I love that they all look identical

    Elendil on
  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Leitner wrote: »
    japan wrote: »
    This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.

    Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.

    Whenever I see those I think of Dara O'Briens joke title, 'Touched, but Not by an Angel' and giggle a little inside.

    I just thought it was funny that someone could make a display themed around "abused as a child" without ever stepping back and thinking "what the fuck was I thinking?".

    japan on
  • HonkHonk Honk is this poster. Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2010
    Honk wrote: »
    Hello, I am Honk and I have never been bludgeoned with blunt objects.

    I've only been bludgeoned with fists and feet. And once with a boot tied to twenty feet of rope.

    I once fell off a gym mattress going down a ski slope at unfathomable speed and got a concussion. But really I was the one bludgeoning the ground.

    Poor ground. :(

    Honk on
    PSN: Honkalot
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    i got hit once in the shoulder by the bat

    once

    over ten years ago!

    it still hurts, as i have a bit of bone and scar tissue floating around in there as an occasionally painful lump

    man vs. bat

    man loses

    Pony on
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    japan wrote: »
    Leitner wrote: »
    japan wrote: »
    This is interesting, given that a lot of people seem to come to the conclusion that their horrible experiences mean they're owed something.

    Anyone remember that fad for memoirs written by people who had been abused as children? There's a picture floating around somewhere from a Tesco that made a themed display of them.

    Whenever I see those I think of Dara O'Briens joke title, 'Touched, but Not by an Angel' and giggle a little inside.

    I just thought it was funny that someone could make a display themed around "abused as a child" without ever stepping back and thinking "what the fuck was I thinking?".

    Man I would purposefully do that. Call it the "Women that Winky has a chance with" section and move on for hilarity sake.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Passerbye wrote: »
    Elldren wrote: »
    I got to see centuries old sporting goods today

    also: what sort of mischief mr. Bob?

    Which museum did you go to?

    The Palacio Real and the Museo del Prado

    they were both super keen

    Elldren on
    fuck gendered marketing
  • thisisntwallythisisntwally Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Honk wrote: »
    june 12?

    It's the Day Several Days After Tomorrow.

    that much was obvious, but thank you!

    thisisntwally on
    #someshit
  • ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Preacher wrote: »
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    I have been hit with a few baseballs going at rather high speeds. That is about it.

    Took a baseball bat to the hand (full on swing) accidentally; dislocated the fingers on my left hand (saddest week of my life).

    Long list for me. But never a plate! Four sets of dishware and never a plate or bowl.

    Thomamelas on
  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    I don't think I've ever been concussed.

    Though my biggest bike stack involved a split helmet, so chances are I may have done.

    japan on
  • Aroused BullAroused Bull Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    i got hit once in the shoulder by the bat

    once

    over ten years ago!

    it still hurts, as i have a bit of bone and scar tissue floating around in there as an occasionally painful lump

    man vs. bat

    man loses

    But what about your face, man

    What did he do to your face?

    Aroused Bull on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    i purposefully try to tell some of my more heinous acts and shit as big, wacky anecdotes that are all gonzo-esque

    because that makes them less real and thus less horrifying to people, they can laugh about it in a dark way

    it helps, because it lets me be able to talk about these things and express some of the emotions i feel about them but in a way that doesn't alienate people and make them terrified of me

    Pony on
  • KalkinoKalkino Buttons Londres Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Elldren wrote: »
    Passerbye wrote: »
    Elldren wrote: »
    I got to see centuries old sporting goods today

    also: what sort of mischief mr. Bob?

    Which museum did you go to?

    The Palacio Real and the Museo del Prado

    they were both super keen

    You in Madrid? You should go to the Museum of the Americas

    Kalkino on
    Freedom for the Northern Isles!
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    i got hit once in the shoulder by the bat

    once

    over ten years ago!

    it still hurts, as i have a bit of bone and scar tissue floating around in there as an occasionally painful lump

    man vs. bat

    man loses

    But what about your face, man

    What did he do to your face?

    Can't blame that on some guy who just beat him up. Pony is naturally that pretty.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    i got hit once in the shoulder by the bat

    once

    over ten years ago!

    it still hurts, as i have a bit of bone and scar tissue floating around in there as an occasionally painful lump

    man vs. bat

    man loses

    But what about your face, man

    What did he do to your face?

    my face is fine

    all things told i have a pretty decent mug for all the shit that's been done to me

    i have some facial scars, lumps of scar tissue on my cheekbones, but nothing gnarly

    i took the bat blows to the side and back of my head so, they didn't really hit my face

    Pony on
  • HonkHonk Honk is this poster. Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2010
    Sweden lost in the Eurovision Song Contest qualifying round. Somewhere in the countryside, people care.

    Honk on
    PSN: Honkalot
  • PasserbyePasserbye I am much older than you. in Beach CityRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Elldren wrote: »
    Passerbye wrote: »
    Elldren wrote: »
    I got to see centuries old sporting goods today

    also: what sort of mischief mr. Bob?

    Which museum did you go to?

    The Palacio Real and the Museo del Prado

    they were both super keen

    Oooooh. Lucky lucky.

    I'm guessing you're somewhat fluent in Spanish? Or just Portuguese (since IIRC, Brazil's language is Portuguese)?

    Passerbye on
  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    japan wrote: »
    Elldren wrote: »
    also: what sort of mischief mr. Bob?

    You were speaking of medical attention. I was asking if you had hurt yourself using a British idiom.

    Must be one of those southern idioms

    real answer: leg hurts / is partly numb. Don't know why

    Elldren on
    fuck gendered marketing
  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    japan wrote: »
    I don't think I've ever been concussed.

    Though my biggest bike stack involved a split helmet, so chances are I may have done.
    I think I've probably had two. The first when I was about 6, in a bike accident that I spent a couple days in the hospital for, was definitely a concussion.

    The second was the tire iron incident, that I'm not sure about since I didn't get medical attention beyond the EMTs, but wouldn't be at all surprised if I had one.

    Thanatos on
This discussion has been closed.