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Awkward Moments [Shibby casting dark magic all up in here]

ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday ArmadilloI'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
edited July 2010 in Social Entropy++
633518901894979165-Awkward-Moments---Theres-no-real-way-to-get-around-them---Motivational-RPG-Poster.jpg

Awkward moments, they fill our lives like spices onto a turkey. Sometimes they act merely as the foundation for a great moment, a hilarious joke or a memorable experience. Sometimes they are encased in sorrow and pain though.

Come together SE++ and share your most awkward moment you have experienced. Taste what others bring to table with their stories and let us all grow fat on the tales of terror to be told.

Fill our collective stomachs!

Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
Zonugal on
«13456762

Posts

  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I'll begin with a story of my most awkward moment. In the 8th grade I broke my femur in a hurdling accident during a track meet and had to be brought to the hospital. After the surgery I was held for an additional day before being released but within that day I experience my most awkward moment.

    Because of my supposed weakened state I had to use a urine bottle and apparently the staff felt that was too much difficulty so they sent assistant. In the door walked a nurse to assist me in urinating into a bottle. But instead of gentle, female nurse they sent the tallest, angriest black man I had ever seen (think Me'Shell from Dodgeball for a fair resemblance).

    He walked over to my bed, grabbed my penis with much force and shoved it into the urine bottle. But because of fear, stage-fright or whatever it may have been I was unable to urinate. And so for four minutes this male nurse held my penis while looking down upon me with furious eyes. I felt disappointment like none before.

    Zonugal on
    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
  • World as MythWorld as Myth a breezy way to annoy serious people Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    your sig is an awkward moment

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Just wait till you see it in person, it draws the eyes with all the majesty of a dumpster fire.

    Zonugal on
    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
  • 2 Marcus 2 Ravens2 Marcus 2 Ravens CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    That story was amazing. I had some stories to share, but they are no where near as good as that one.

    Zonugal, this is a bad thread, because I think you already won it.

    2 Marcus 2 Ravens on
  • crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    i avoid awkward moments by never talking and generally blending into the background

    crwth on
    EzUAYcn.png
  • FishmanFishman Put your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain. Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Who said that?

    Fishman on
    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Every time this happens:
    Dad: MAN UP, FOR GOD'S SAKE! You aren't a girl, be a man!
    Me: (I'm transgender, you fucker, but I can't fucking tell you)

    Antimatter on
  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Koshian I imagine every day for you is like a Don Knotts film.

    Zonugal on
    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    all my awkward moments are too numerous to count

    and have been pounded into oblivion through drinking so that i don't have to relive them

    but i assure you, if there is a way to fuck something up, i've figured it out.

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Brodo FagginsBrodo Faggins Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I had a friend in college, a white chick that was pretty hefty. Us and our group of friends were invited to a Queen-themed party, in which the partygoers were encouraged to dress like a Queen song.

    I got there before her, and as expected, there were plenty of people dressed as bike riders, fat-bottomed girls, and murderous queens (killer queen).

    My friend arrived, and I pointed at her butt.
    "Oh, did you come as a fat-bottomed girl too?"
    "No, I'm not in costume".

    She still makes fun of me for it to this day.

    Brodo Faggins on
    9PZnq.png
  • EndEnd Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Fishman wrote: »
    Who said that?

    It was crwth, being creepy and sulking in the background again.

    Get him, boys!

    End on
    I wish that someway, somehow, that I could save every one of us
    zaleiria-by-lexxy-sig.jpg
  • B.C.B.C. is a bee! remember me?Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    In the second grade, my teacher called everybody in the class into the group circle. This means it was activity time or that some one had something to share.

    Up stands the girl who is known to have a crush on me. She proceeds to read a love poem out loud, then walks over to me and hands me a rose.

    All the children immediately start pointing and laughing at me. I run from the room crying.

    B.C. on
    Friend code for Pokemon fiends everywhere: Arch 0447-6824-1112
  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Koshian wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Koshian I imagine every day for you is like a Don Knotts film.

    what're those like?

    I'm really only familiar with don knotts in the andy griffith show :V

    ReluctantAstronaut.jpg


    (Me too, Kosh)

    Antimatter on
  • Muse Among MenMuse Among Men Suburban Bunny Princess? Its time for a new shtick Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Zonugal wrote: »
    I'll begin with a story of my most awkward moment. In the 8th grade I broke my femur in a hurdling accident during a track meet and had to be brought to the hospital. After the surgery I was held for an additional day before being released but within that day I experience my most awkward moment.

    Because of my supposed weakened state I had to use a urine bottle and apparently the staff felt that was too much difficulty so they sent assistant. In the door walked a nurse to assist me in urinating into a bottle. But instead of gentle, female nurse they sent the tallest, angriest black man I had ever seen (think Me'Shell from Dodgeball for a fair resemblance).

    He walked over to my bed, grabbed my penis with much force and shoved it into the urine bottle. But because of fear, stage-fright or whatever it may have been I was unable to urinate. And so for four minutes this male nurse held my penis while looking down upon me with furious eyes. I felt disappointment like none before.

    Amazing.

    Muse Among Men on
  • B.C.B.C. is a bee! remember me?Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    My grandfather died a week ago, so I had to get cleaned up for the funeral.
    I walk into the Cost Cutters, and find out this hot chick covered in tattoos is gonna cut my hair for me.

    We start making small talk to pass the time, and then she asks me why am I getting my haircut if I hadn't in such a long time. Without even thinking about it I replied, "My grandfather died, I am going to his funeral."

    "Oh."
    "Yeah"

    We didn't talk much after that. I am bad at conversations.

    B.C. on
    Friend code for Pokemon fiends everywhere: Arch 0447-6824-1112
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    hey so how many of you all remember the story of what happened with me and my ex?

    ok, well crazy stalker hacked my facebook account and sent her creepy messages

    I had to work damage control and say that I was never the one that did that, and that he is the reason we broke up

    we're now talking again and she wants to have lunch

    this has been an awkward week

    PiptheFair on
  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Once when I was talking to a girl I liked I made an extravagant hand motion!

    Unfortunately because I'd recently had a little accident this involved the stitches in my elbow splitting open and a huge red stain blossoming throughout my sleeve in a goddamn volcanic eruption of blood.

    Edcrab on
    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • jaziekjaziek Bad at everything And mad about it.Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    crwth wrote: »
    i avoid awkward moments by never talking and generally blending into the background

    crwthster bluth

    jaziek on
    Steam ||| SC2 - Jaziek.377 on EU & NA. ||| Twitch Stream
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    this is still my very most awkward moment as of yet
    Nuzak wrote: »
    this lady at the hospital has terrible terrible cancer, and her doctor was in the room asking about how she was

    i was about to ask her if there was anything i could do for her, water her flowers, etc., when her doctor told her her temperature was fine, and she responded, 'well at least i am not dead!'

    and my big mouth joked 'yet!'

    and then everyone looked at me and i walked out of her room and out of the hospital

    it has not been topped since, and i'm thankful for that

    Nuzak on
  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    hey so how many of you all remember the story of what happened with me and my ex?

    ok, well crazy stalker hacked my facebook account and sent her creepy messages

    I had to work damage control and say that I was never the one that did that, and that he is the reason we broke up

    we're now talking again and she wants to have lunch

    this has been an awkward week

    Urgh. Stalkers are the fucking worst, good luck with that

    Edcrab on
    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino Angry as Hell #BLMRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    once when i was in grade school, there was a girl who recently moved to town and enrolled at our school. she moved around a lot because her dad was a commercial airline pilot.

    she was a pretty chill person for 7th grade. so naturally many of the parents in town warned their sons she was a massive slut :/

    so of course later that year, i'm at a common friend's birthday party, and somehow we get to talking about this girl. i of course blurt out that "my mom says [girl] is a total slut!"

    i immediately hear crying behind me. guess who juuust walked in to the room.

    i'm hopefully less of a jerk today.

    fightinfilipino on
    ffNewSig.png
    steam | Dokkan: 868846562
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Edcrab wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    hey so how many of you all remember the story of what happened with me and my ex?

    ok, well crazy stalker hacked my facebook account and sent her creepy messages

    I had to work damage control and say that I was never the one that did that, and that he is the reason we broke up

    we're now talking again and she wants to have lunch

    this has been an awkward week

    Urgh. Stalkers are the fucking worst, good luck with that

    like, I have heard neither hide nor hair of this guy or my ex in close to 4 years

    a ton of crazy bricks have just hit me in the head

    PiptheFair on
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Edcrab wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    hey so how many of you all remember the story of what happened with me and my ex?

    ok, well crazy stalker hacked my facebook account and sent her creepy messages

    I had to work damage control and say that I was never the one that did that, and that he is the reason we broke up

    we're now talking again and she wants to have lunch

    this has been an awkward week

    Urgh. Stalkers are the fucking worst, good luck with that

    at least wait until i'm out of earshot edcrab, jesus

    Nuzak on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Koshian wrote: »
    kinda related though:

    the other day my dad told me that he doesn't like me wearing skinny jeans and shaping my eyebrows because people might think I'm gay

    ehehehehehehehehe

    WHOOPS.jpg

    PiptheFair on
  • SoaLSoaL fantastic Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    hey so how many of you all remember the story of what happened with me and my ex?

    ok, well crazy stalker hacked my facebook account and sent her creepy messages

    I had to work damage control and say that I was never the one that did that, and that he is the reason we broke up

    we're now talking again and she wants to have lunch

    this has been an awkward week

    pip instead of reading this story i just read your signature


    it was a good post!

    SoaL on
    DKFA7.gif
  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Nuzak wrote: »
    Edcrab wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    hey so how many of you all remember the story of what happened with me and my ex?

    ok, well crazy stalker hacked my facebook account and sent her creepy messages

    I had to work damage control and say that I was never the one that did that, and that he is the reason we broke up

    we're now talking again and she wants to have lunch

    this has been an awkward week

    Urgh. Stalkers are the fucking worst, good luck with that

    at least wait until i'm out of earshot edcrab, jesus

    Oh come on as if I'm talking about you.


    Christ that guy has ears like a bat. A bat.

    Edcrab on
    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    my sig makes all of my posts finely crafted pieces of art

    PiptheFair on
  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    The only stalker I ever had to deal with left me alone after I threatened to smash her head in with a blunt instrument

    ...man I am such a classy guy.

    Edcrab on
    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    finely crafted piece of fart

    Raneados on
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    where's the piece of art that is literally a dog shit so i can say that it is comparable to the art of a pippost

    Nuzak on
  • SoaLSoaL fantastic Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Edcrab wrote: »
    The only stalker I ever had to deal with left me alone after I threatened to smash her head in with a blunt instrument

    ...man I am such a classy guy.

    the ol' mushroom slap, eh?

    SoaL on
    DKFA7.gif
  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino Angry as Hell #BLMRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Edcrab wrote: »
    The only stalker I ever had to deal with left me alone after I threatened to smash her head in with a blunt instrument

    ...man I am such a classy guy.

    did you at least insist on a blowjob first before promising to smash her head in? i hear guys are only classy of they insist on head before the domestic violence.

    fightinfilipino on
    ffNewSig.png
    steam | Dokkan: 868846562
  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Edcrab wrote: »
    The only stalker I ever had to deal with left me alone after I threatened to smash her head in with a blunt instrument

    ...man I am such a classy guy.

    did you at least insist on a blowjob first before promising to smash her head in? i hear guys are only classy of they insist on head before the domestic violence.

    Hell no this was the girl who gave terrible, terrible head. Few people might recall her actually

    Edcrab on
    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Edcrab wrote: »
    The only stalker I ever had to deal with left me alone after I threatened to smash her head in with a blunt instrument

    ...man I am such a classy guy.

    did you at least insist on a blowjob first before promising to smash her head in? i hear guys are only classy of they insist on head before the domestic violence.

    ed is a pretty smart guy i think

    smart guys don't let obsessively deranged people near their genitals

    it makes people think they like them, and that is the last thing they need

    edit: apparently i'm wrong

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Tossrock wrote: »
    "Ok here's a real embarrassing story, I was fucking this super hot chick at a party right? Well I'm a virtuoso with my cock, and on her eighty second orgasm she moaned loudly enough for the rest of the house to hear, so they all came running in! I stood up and everyone saw my twelve inch dick! Ho boy, was my face red (mostly from exhaustion though, because we'd been having sex for four days already)"

    Tossrock on
    sig.png
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    My whole life is an awkward moment

    oh god

    cursed with an amazing memory for every slight thing I have ever done + over-thinking things + basing my self esteem on the opinion of others = most awkward person I know

    Janson on
  • EndEnd Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    my sig makes all of my posts finely crafted pieces of art

    what the hell

    End on
    I wish that someway, somehow, that I could save every one of us
    zaleiria-by-lexxy-sig.jpg
  • Muse Among MenMuse Among Men Suburban Bunny Princess? Its time for a new shtick Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Nuzak wrote: »
    this is still my very most awkward moment as of yet
    Nuzak wrote: »
    this lady at the hospital has terrible terrible cancer, and her doctor was in the room asking about how she was

    i was about to ask her if there was anything i could do for her, water her flowers, etc., when her doctor told her her temperature was fine, and she responded, 'well at least i am not dead!'

    and my big mouth joked 'yet!'

    and then everyone looked at me and i walked out of her room and out of the hospital

    it has not been topped since, and i'm thankful for that

    Ahahaha, holy shit.

    Muse Among Men on
  • 2 Marcus 2 Ravens2 Marcus 2 Ravens CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Tossrock wrote: »
    Tossrock wrote: »
    "Ok here's a real embarrassing story, I was fucking this super hot chick at a party right? Well I'm a virtuoso with my cock, and on her eighty second orgasm she moaned loudly enough for the rest of the house to hear, so they all came running in! I stood up and everyone saw my twelve inch dick! Ho boy, was my face red (mostly from exhaustion though, because we'd been having sex for four days already)"

    Nice.

    2 Marcus 2 Ravens on
  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino Angry as Hell #BLMRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Tossrock wrote: »
    Tossrock wrote: »
    "Ok here's a real embarrassing story, I was fucking this super hot chick at a party right? Well I'm a virtuoso with my cock, and on her eighty second orgasm she moaned loudly enough for the rest of the house to hear, so they all came running in! I stood up and everyone saw my twelve inch dick! Ho boy, was my face red (mostly from exhaustion though, because we'd been having sex for four days already)"
    dude broseph i totally sympathize this happens to me every night

    fightinfilipino on
    ffNewSig.png
    steam | Dokkan: 868846562
This discussion has been closed.