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[Let's Play] Paradox Succession Game: Charlemagne's Heirs! The Thread Lives!



  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    It's cool, we need someone to claim your heir still.

    enlightenedbum on
  • Rhan9Rhan9 Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    We should just have people claiming turns. The heir situation gets all messed up over time, and it'll be easier that way.

    Rhan9 on
  • kaliyamakaliyama Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I put in to be next about a week ago.

    kaliyama on
  • President RexPresident Rex Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Despite my SH3 LP's hiatus if the succession ever needs an heir I can stand in in the iterim when there's no claimed spots; but kali's got it covered for the moment.

    President Rex on
  • Rhan9Rhan9 Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    A timeline of the life and times of Henri after his rise to power, continuation of the Saga of de Vermandois.

    The domain of the de Vermandois family was on the edge of disintegration due to internal strife at the time of Henri de Vermandois’ rise to power. Hostile, vengeful, deceitful, and many other terms were applied to Henri, for he was little loved and loved little in return. Even his sons held little to no loyalty to him. Matters were not helped by his distinct lack of diplomatic acumen, and within days of gaining the duchy, Henri came to the conclusion that application of soft power would have been outside his grasp. Instead, he opted for rule by fear and strength of arms, and this proved to be successful in combination with his vaunted military genius(18 martial).

    At the time of his death, Henri had spawned a sizable progeny, illustrated in the associated family tree. Square symbols indicate a male, Circles a female, and any number inside the symbol indicates the age of said person when they died. If a line exists below two people, and a person is indicated between and below them, that person was born of the legitimate(or illegitimate) union between the two.

    Warning, WIDE!

    Years 1120 – 1130
    Apr 1120 - Henri de Vermandois ascends to the position of the Duke of Valois, Count of Brugge, Hainaut, Vexin, Ile de France and Brabant. Henri already has doubts about his heir, Asclettin.

    May 1120 - His daughters are made to marry Louis de Macon and Henri's marshal, Eustache de Serrant (a renowned military genius)

    Jun 1120 - Neighboring Archbishopric of Champagne stands alone, ripe for conquest.

    Jul 1120 - Henri's son, Hélie is made the chaplain.

    Jul 1120 - Reims is invaded.

    Aug 1120 - Henri builds the first Templar house in Ile de France. He becomes a great patron of the order during his life.

    Oct 1120 - Reims is conquered and Henri annexes the county to his demesne. Henri's second son Gilbert wishes to know if he will rule his own land in the near future. Henri agrees.

    Nov 1120 - Henri's treacherous son Asclettin rebels and declares independence. Furioust Henri immediately marshals an army. The Duke of York declares war for no apparent reason. Gilbert is made the Count of Reims.

    Dec 1120 - Asclettin is beaten.Henri imposes harsh terms, stripping Asclettin of his property. Henri befriends his vassal, the Count of Gent during the campaign. Henri, Count of Artois has also started a war with England, which goes against Duke Henri's plans. The Count's title is swiftly revoked and his county annexed to prevent its loss to England.

    Feb 1121 - Orson de Vermandois, Henri's third son is made the Count of Vexin. Count of Besancon declares war for the first time.

    Mar 1121 - Henri leaves with his infamous Ile de France regiment for Besancon.

    May 1121 - Besancon has been crushed. Henri is lenient with the peace terms, allowing the Count to keep his position in exchange for renewed vassalage. Orson declares war on Henri.

    Jun 1121 - Vexin has been beaten to submission, with same terms as Besancon. Henri begins his practice of stripping renewed vassals of their gold as a precaution.

    Sep 1121 - Henri's friend, the count of Gent betrays him, and declares war.

    Oct 1121 - Henri's chancellor and relative, Charles, is accused of using black magic. Already in trouble
    with the church, Henri decides to relinquish Charles to the inquisition, regardless of the truth behind the claims. This is recognized as the point in time when Henri began to align himself more with the Church.

    Dec 1121 - Badly frightened by his father's zeal, Asclettin flees to a backwater court in Scandinavia. The reason becomes soon apparent, as he is reported by his former confidantes to harbor heretical ideas. County of Gent submits under Vermandois rule once again. The resistance was less than enthusiastic, and this leads Henri to believe that his friend might have been forced to go to war for one reason or another.

    Feb 1122 - The Kingdom of England is experiencing inner turmoil, yet when the opportunity presents itself, Henri does not instigate a civil war, as his Duchy is far too fractured to stand an open war with England. His vassals are also becoming notorious for their rebelliousness in rest of Europe.

    Mar 1122 - Hélie has been performing his duties well, but feels neglected by his father. He comes to express his desire to leave for employ under someone who values his skills, but his father convinces him to stay with generous gifts and promises of paying more attention to his son's work.

    Apr 1122 - Henri's plans to crush the Kingdom of France once and for all come to halt as the Pope calls for a Truce between them.

    May 1122 - The Duchy of Flanders, led by Henri's own brother declares war. Henri quickly triumphs in the first clash.

    Jun 1122 - The County of Yperen falls under Henri's onslaught.

    Jul 1122 - Renaud, a young boy in de Vermandois bloodline, reveals himself to be a prodigy, mastering many aspects of statecraft at a young age. Later in July, Artois falls to the troops from Flanders.

    Aug 1122 - His troops beaten, Henri Duke of Flanders accepts a harsh peace treaty, ceding the rich County of Ypren to the main branch of de Vermandois family.

    Sep 1122 - The discontent within the court reaches a boiling point and courtiers begin to depart. This will continue to be a regular occurrence for more than a decade onwards.

    Oct 1122 - Gent is drawn to a war with England, and Henri is unwilling to directly intervene. Henri does, however, covertly hire a regiment of mercenaries to aid his friend against the English.

    Jan 1123 - Henri offers vassalization to the Count of Boulogne, the former Duke of Flanders. This proposition is accepted, and all lands of de Vermandois are now united under Henri's rule.

    May 1123 - The Pope dies, and the new Pope is essentially a puppet of England.

    Jun 1123 - The war against England is not going well for Gent, and Gerhard relieves his title to his friend Henri in hopes of preventing the annexation of his lands to the English crown.

    Jul 1123 - Amédée de Vermandois declares war, andthe County of Amiens secedes from the Duchy. Henri's response is swift and brutal, attacking immediately with an overwhelming force of superiorly armed and trained Ile de France soldiers.

    Aug 1123 - Amiens falls and harsh conditions strip Amédée of his demesne and gold.

    Jun 1124 - Time of quiet ends with the discovery of the process for the large-scale manufacture of Broadswords. Henri has been quietly pouring gold to the brightest minds in France since he rose to power. The resulting weapon improvements have made his soldiers better armed than those of any of his neighboring rulers. Henri has also been slowly increasing the power of the nobles in his demesne, resulting in great numbers of highly trained and well supplied knights and heavy infantry for his armies. At the end of June 1124, a chance presents itself for Henri to secede from England peacefully, while the English king is busy in his homeland.

    Jul 1124 - Henri notices that the County of Gelre has slipped from the control of their former masters, and quickly fabricates a claim against them, now that the general sentiment favors him.

    Sep 1124 - Henri finally loses his temper with his disloyal son, Orson. After a heated argument Henri banishes Orson from his Duchy.

    Sep 1124 - The Pope once again interferes with Henri's plans, this time against his invasion of Gelre.

    Oct 1124 - His opportunities for expansion hampered, Henri turns south-west, and invades Chartres, to which he has an ancestral claim.

    Nov 1124 - Chartres falls. Louis, the Count of Chartres is allowed to stay in his position in exchange for vassalization and tribute.

    Feb 1125 - Risking the Pope's wrath, Henri annexes Gelre, adding the county to his demesne.

    May 1125 - Risking the Pope's wrath, the Kingdom of France declares war against the Duchy of Valois, giving Henri the excuse needed to invade.

    Jun 1125 - The Bishopric of Vannes surrenders to the elite troops of Ile de France. Leon is occupied few days later.

    Jul 1125 - The Battle of Ile de France occurs on July the 1st, as troops from the Kingdom of France attempt to conquer Ile de France. Henri's defense tactics proved superior, and the reserve troops drawn from the countryside overwhelmed the attackers. A white peace was promptly offered, as the King of France realized his inability to threaten, much less conquer, the Duchy of Valois. Henri refuses to sign. Instead, Henri hires a company of Italian mercenaries to bolster his ranks.

    Sep 1125 - Henri advances to French heartlands with an overwhelming force of superior troops, and wipes out any resistance.

    Oct 1125 - Henri's chancellor Medania has realized that she is invaluable due to Henri's lack of diplomatic acumen. Henri must resort to bribing her to remain at his side, as his tenuous control of his vassals might fail without her help. Dijon falls later in October, and Henri continues to Charolais, the location of the French throne.

    Nov 1125 - Charolais falls. While inspecting the conquered royal lodgings, Henri finds ancient documents detailing the inheritances of Leon and Toulouse. These are quickly confiscated and "repaired". Henri stakes his claim on the counties, as the documents reveal his ancestors as the rightful rulers of these lands.

    Feb 1126 - Henri crushes any resistance in Toulouse.

    Mar 1126 - Toulouse surrenders. In the ensuing peace settlements, France is forced to relinquish
    their claims on any Valois lands, as well as recognize Henri's rights to Toulouse and Leon. Toulouse, Gelre and Leon are made into Bishoprics. These actions raise Henri's standing within the Church enormously, and his high piety helps to ensure the bishop's loyalty, stabilizing his rule in comparison to his unruly counts.

    Apr 1126 - Marked as the starting point of Henri's great building projects. The greatly increased income of the Duchy of Valois allows Henri to begin construction on comprehensive fortifications and side projects. Valois becomes one of the most consistently fortified lands in Europe over the following years. The second war of Besancon begins.

    Jul 1126 - Besancon is crushed, and surrenders a second time. Henri applies the same terms as last time, although he is growing weary of his vassal's behavior. Henri has expressed no interest in taking his lands, as no rightful claim exists, and Henri is wary of damaging his reputation further. Swedes attack Chartres, and Henri decides to punish them for interfering within his domain.

    Aug 1126 - The Swedish invasion troops are decimated in Chartres. Henri opts for a strategy that he names "Guerre Éclair". The tactic that consists of lightning attacks across vast distances through the liberal application of forced marches and cavalry. By now it is becoming apparent that Henri de Vermandois is a military genious, regardless of his other failings. At this time, Henri's son, Hélie defects to Chartres due to disagreements with his father's methods.

    Dec 1126 - The County of Sens rebels, and declares war. Marshal Eustache faithfully gathers troops while Henri is away, and puts the rebellion down.

    Jan 1127 - Sweden accepts white peace after Henri has conquered the Swedish heartlands. Lacking any claims and public goodwill to seize more, Henri is satisfied with the cessation of hostilities. The County of Reims declares war, with Henri's son Gilbert leading the invading troops. Eustache proves his worth by handily defeating Sens and Reims in quick succession.

    Feb 1127 - The Count of Sens is chastised and put back in line. Henri then turns his attention to crushing his son's armies once and for all.

    Mar 1127 - Reims falls to Henri. Henri forces his son back to his proper position, and relinquishes him of his gold as punishment.

    Apr 1127 - Chancellor Medania continues to extort Henri, and Henri reluctantly pays to keep her in his employ. Lacking decent replacements, he is forced to keep bribing the ambitious 19-year old.

    May 1127 - Rumors reach Henri regarding strife between the young king of Burgundy and the Pope. The throne of Burgundy shares a border with Henri's domain, and his spies are quick to investigate. It is revealed that young Berthold is regarded to be a heretic, and the Pope has recently issued an excommunication order on the 8-year old. Henri is quick to capitalize on this, and citing rights by proximity and under the guise of protecting the common folk and nobility from the yoke of an excommunicated heretic, Henri is able to seize the claims to the County of Luxembourg, Duchy of Luxembourg and Kingdom of Burgundy. There is little opposition, as no-one wishes to be thought of as supporting a heretic or an excommunicated noble.

    Jun 1127 - Henri hires a regiment of mercenaries from the Occitan areas of France, and begins his invasion.

    Jul 1127 - With Henri busy fighting Burgundy, Besancon sees another opportunity for rebellion. The third Besancon war has begun.

    Sep 1127 - Faithful Eustache is sent to deal with the rebellion. The result is identical to the previous times.

    Oct 1127 - Besancon surrenders once more.

    Dec 1127 - Henri has been busy using his attack on the heretic boy-king as a diplomatic edge, and his approval among the nobility of Europe has been rising. Following the positive reputation of Henri, the Duke of Holland pledges his allegiance.

    Mar 1128 - The newly-made Bishop of Leon rebels. The Bishop of Vannes is sent to put his fellow bishop back to his place.

    May 1128 - The nobility demand the rights of Prima Noctae. Henri has been on increasing the power of nobility in his realm since his rise to power, and sees this as another opportunity to better tie them to his cause. Prima Noctae rights are instituted in Vermandois.

    Jun 1128 - The War of Righteous Burgundian Liberation is proceeding with the liberation of Plauen.

    Oct 1128 - County of Sens rebels once again.

    Nov 1128 - Orson de Vermandois defects to the County of Maine. The lack of loyalty of Henri's sons is the talk of courts throughout Europe. Vaclav, Bishop of Vannes, is granted the Bishopric of Leon as a reward for his quick and effective service in putting the rebellion down.

    Dec 1128 - Burgundy is brought to heel. Henri imposes harsh terms on the young king, seizing his crown and lands for himself. The War of Righteous Burgundian Liberation has come to an end after one and a half years of fighting. Henri de Vermandois is crowned King Henri I of Burgundy on the 12th of December 1128. Official records begin the history of Burgundy from this point. Common unofficial way to refer to the kingdom is "Nouvelle Bourgogne" or "New Burgundy", in order to differentiate the new kingdom from the heretical older one. Shortly after, Sens is brought back to the kingdom.

    Jul 1129 - Diocese Bishop Raymond is threatening to leave, and King Henri is forced to discreetly bribe him to stay.

    Sep 1129 - Surprising everyone, the Bishop of Vannes rebels and proclaims his lands independent. Even his fellow bishops disagree with him, as Henri has recently been proven to be a defender of the faith. Waclaw has little support. Henri implements another decisive attack with his Ile de France regiment.

    Years 1120 – 1130
    Feb 1130 - Henri's son Gilbert has been slowly pacified, and is now a loyal vassal. Henri is disturbed to find that his son harbors heretical ideas, but those are explained by the revelation that his sone has develop a mental illness.

    Apr 1130 - Bishop Waclaw is brought back to the Kingdom.

    May 1130 - The prolonged wars have taxed the treasury dearly, and Henri is forced to sell the taxation rights to one of the tile factories in his demesne to cover the deficit. This was felt to be deeply embarrassing, and hurt Henri's prestige.

    Jul 1130 - Fourth War of Besancon Aggression begins. This is followed by the Duke of Holland rebelling, having come to the conclusion that becoming Henri's vassal was a mistake.

    Sep 1130 - Besancon is brought to heel with the same results as previous three times. The County of Sens declares war.

    Oct 1130 - Count of Sens is easily pacified, however, as his messenger is returned in a dozen parcels with a strongly worded note suggesting that the next time it would be Count Raymond himself.

    Dec 1130 - Duke of Ferrara wishes a white peace. The Duke had rebelled almost immediately following Henri's seizing of the Burgundian crown. Henri never pursued the duchy, as it is far too remote for him to control, and provided little benefit when it was included in the kingdom. A white peace is signed, with the loss of Ferrara as a vassal.

    Mar 1131 - Holland is forced to rejoin the kingdom and pay harsh tribute for the trouble caused.

    Apr 1131 - Boulogne had also rebelled during the slew of rebellions that plagued the Kingdom of Burgundy. A quick foray by troops from Brugge convince the Bishop of Boulogne to rejoin the Kingdom.

    Jul 1131 - France had also joined the various counties declaring war on Burgundy, and Henri addressed the French problem by attacking their lands in Iberia by sea with troops from Yperen, while simultaneously attacking their lands in France from Ile de France.

    Mar 1132 - By March 11th, Dijon and the French Throne had been occupied, forcing the French King to recognize Henri's rights to his lands, and relinquishing Charolais to Henri.

    May 1132 - The Duke of Holland had rebelled once again, and was quickly brought to heel with similar terms to previous times. Henri was by this time beginning to get tired of the same vassals continuously rebelling, but couldn't seize their lands without destabilizing his relations to his other vassals.

    Sep 1132 - Bishop Waclaw rebelled and was beaten to submission.

    Jan 1133 - Louis Duke of Orleans, a powerful neighbor, agreed to become a Burgundian vassal, greatly expanding the Kingdom's territory.

    Sep 1134 - Henri, starting to feel the weight of his years, decided that it was time to heed the Pope's call to march for Jerusalem. Henri had come to realize that he would never have a stable Kingdom, so he might as well go on a crusade to liberate the Holy Land from the infidel. Henri took his elite Ile de France Regiment with him, numbering a meager 6000 troops, and set sail for the Holy Land.

    Feb 1135 - Shortly after Henri's departure, his vassals came to the conclusion that the best way to proceed would be to declare war on everyone. At the same time Henri relinquished his claims on Penthievre in hopes that it would help his poor reputation.

    Mar 1135 - Holland, having rebelled once again, was treated to a lightning invasion of Yperen knights and heavy infantry.

    Apr 1135 - Reims was brought to heel in a short time. Gilbert had rebelled out of momentary boredom, and had no heart for a real battle.

    Aug 1135 - Holland could not resist the Yperen regiment for an extended period, and was forced to rejoin the Kingdom.

    Sep 1135 - Surprising everyone, the previously meek and cooperative Orleans declared war in September 14, 1135. Burgundy is embroiled in war while the King is sailing in the Mediterranean.

    Mar 1136 - Henri lands on the coasts of the Holy Land, and proceeds to Jerusalem. A battle is joined outside the city gates, and Henri is faced with a superior force of cavalry and horse archers.

    Aug 1136 - Against all expectations, without help from home or other Christian nations, Henri I crushes the opposition in the ensuing battles, driving the infidel before him, beginning the siege of Jerusalem.

    Jan 1137 - Badly beaten and invaded by crusaders further north, the King of al-Murabitids agrees to peace and relinquishes Jerusalem to Burgundy.

    Mar 1137 - Duchy of Alsace swears allegiance to Henri I, the Liberator of Jerusalem. Henri has dozens of irate imams drawn and quartered in Jerusalem to demonstrate his resolve and intolerance for opposition.

    Jun 1137 - The Pope calls an end to the crusade, pronouncing Henri I as the Defender of the Faith, Liberator of Jerusalem and an example to all Christian rulers in the whole of Christendom.

    Oct 1137 - While Henri has been busy, his grandson, Jordan, has grown to be man of great promise, and high loyalty. Such has been rare in Henri's progeny, and Jordan caught his eye as a potential heir.At the time, Henri's disloyal heretic son Asclettin was the only person in the way of Jordan's succession. Curiously, within days of Henri's meeting with Jordan, Asclettin suffered a grievous accidental decapitation while shaving.
    Nov 1137 - Wishing to have his heir learn statecraft through practice, Jordan is assigned the County of Vermandois as his demesne, along with Reims and the title of Duke of Luxembourg. 64.png

    Jan 1138 - The Count of Lyon swears allegiance to now famous and lauded King of Burgundy.

    Feb 1138 - Unrest in Jerusalem meets with harsh response by Henri. Rebellions are crushed, imams put to the sword, mosques burned, and dissidents hanged. The county suffers greatly, but conversion at sword point is nevertheless effective. Jerusalem is catholic.

    Mar 1138 - Weary of the world, Henri goes hunting in his royal forests near Vermandois. He encounters a beautiful white deer, and instead of shooting it simply observes it. Henri has become increasingly introspective and gentle in his own way towards the end of his life.
    Apr 1138 - No longer young, in fact nearing 70 years of age, Henri decides to permanently retire from the joys of the flesh. With the death of his wife, he no longer has interest in the fairer sex. In the last years of his life, Henri has been making full use of his vast fortune, financing massive building projects throughout his kingdom. Harbors, Churches, Templar Houses, fortifications, and many other improvements have been commissioned throughout the land.

    May 1138 - Not expecting to live long, Henri no longer cares for what reputation he had. Ironically, he is now greatly respected and universally lauded as a great ruler and courageous warrior. Not wishing to leave his grandson the same troubles with the southern counties he wrestled his entire reign with, Henri assassinates several members of de Blois family, proven time and again to be disloyal and unreliable vassals.

    Jul 1138 - News reach Henri that his son Orson has died in exile. Henri inherits several claims, but is otherwise unmoved. His sons have been a disappointment, and the following generation is where Henri's gaze is directed. Gilbert had died the previous year from pneumonia, forgotten in his apartments, locked there for his safety as much as for the safety of others.

    Aug 1138 - Henri commissioned several monasteries, schools and churches to be built throughout his realm. All across Europe, Henri is respected and the Church is greatly indebted and publicly adoring of him.

    Apr 1139 - Count of Narbonne wishes to become Henri I's vassal. The Clergy also press their wishes to collect further tithes. Henri agrees. Henri's great Glass-works is completed in Brugge, producing quality glass-ware and windows in northern France. The Countess of Nantes also joins the Kingdom of Burgundy.

    May 1139 - The Duke of Brittany swears fealty to Henri, further strengthening the realm. The Count of Rennes follows suit.

    Jun 1139 - The Duke of Dauphine kneels, and one of Henri's greater building projects is finished.

    Jul 1139 - The Count of Troyes joins the increasing number of de Vermandois vassals.

    Aug 1139 - Having gained sufficient lands, Henri creates the title of Duke of Champagne, further increasing his prestige. In order to start one final slew of building projects before his impending passing, Henri gathers funds from the estates.

    Dec 1139 - The Teutonic Order attacs the Duke of Brittany, Henri joins the war not truly expecting the Teutons to attack. Their lands are far away and tiny in comparison.
    , 78.png

    Apr 1140 - The Teutons attack, but the fur-clad barbarians are beaten back by the well-trained Burgundian armies, although not before they devastate the countryside.

    Aug 1140 - August 13th 1140 King Henri I passes away while kneeling in prayer during mass. His death is not unexpected, yet its manner causes great confusion, as for a long while no-one knew he had died. This pious death, combined with his life and incredible standing with the Church have given rise to the Pope issuing his Beatification.
    Saint Henri, Henri I of Burgundy, Henri de Vermandois created a realm and all expectations were on his grandson to continue his grandfather's great work.
    At the end Henri’s life, the borders of de Vermandois’ lands have burgeoned. In the map below, the original holdings have a black border, while the dark red color signifies the provinces under Burgundian control in 1140. Note Jerusalem.


    Rhan9 on
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Henri: Worst. Saint. (Candidate) Ever.

    Good Lord, what a jackass.

    Also, Jordan is the new King then? And save to kaliyama?

    Also also, if I'm reading things right, Jordan married another de Vermandois? So his heirs will be inbred?

    enlightenedbum on
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Fantastic update. Man, you really kept busy during your tenure!

    Looks like you did the next player in line a shitload of favors, too. Lots of new territory to control and a promising heir next in line. Can't wait to see what happens next.

    Captain K on
  • PolloDiabloPolloDiablo Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Our family seems to have a lot of less-than-unrelated spouses. I guess it's the middle ages, after all.

    And man, Rhan9, that's one heck of a turnaround. You didn't just hold it together, you improved things bigtime. Great job.

    PolloDiablo on
    Be excellent to each other you stupid cunts.
  • Rhan9Rhan9 Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I've sent the download links to Kaliyama. Couldn't send the file by email due to the size and some problems with sending it due to that.

    Anyhow, I'm not sure if Jordan's heirs will be inbred, as his wife is probably from the lesser branch of the family, meaning that by now they would be second cousins at best, possibly third cousins. I didn't dig too deep into the family tree though, and the one I posted was generated from the files, so I won't vouch for it. It looked about right, and that was good enough for me. :P

    The deal with Henri's reign was, that he started with a crap reputation, horribly unpopular traits(translating to declining loyalty of his vassals) and little else. The only things he had going for him were fairly good stats and a few lucky breaks. Discovering Broadswords and few other things helped to give the army of Ile de France an edge, and with Henri leading(18 martial), the regiment never lost a fight, even against al-Murabitids. Out of all the vassals I had during my turn, the only one to never rebel was the Bishop of Toulouse. Everyone else rebelled at least once, whereas Besancon did it maybe five times, and all the de Blois provinces were runner-ups with four rebellions. Holland rebelled thrice and... You get the point. The longest time the realm was without a rebellion was 6 months. The only way to keep it together was to brutally beat everyone back in their place, repeatedly. My reputation was too damaged for me to annex the vassals, so I had to tolerate their belligerence. When the king of Burgundy was excommunicated, I took the chance to stabilize the realm through the formation of a kingdom, but in the long run that was failing as well, so I had to resort to attacking Jerusalem. Crusading shot my Piety, Prestige and reputation through the roof, and the realm stabilized. I did assassinate the de Blois', since they had been a constant thorn in my foot for the duration of their vassalage. I also didn't want the incompetent disloyal heretic to inherit, so I took a package deal with the assassins.

    I was about to grab the french crown as well, but Henri died before I could do that. The realm is somewhat stable for Kaliyama, and Burgundy has a shitload of troops, and well-built provinces. The treasury is also quite large, and the income is around 107 gold per month if I remember correctly. One of the problems that he might have is that a large part of the realm was Henri's personal demesne due to annexations, and since Jordan's intrigue is lower, he might have to partition it off. The creation of new dukes may be required as well.

    But yeah, it was fun, and a challenge, as the realm experienced half a dozen near-collapses, constant wars and rebellions, etc. It is hilarious that Henri was beatified, what with him pissing off every pope during his life, constant warmongering, blatant power grabs, assassinations of other nobles and his own family, and so forth. His only "pious" act was to invade Jerusalem, which he did as a last ditch political move. And it worked!

    Now I'm just waiting to see how it all falls apart(or improves!) in the ensuing turns. Guess we ended up as the king of Burgundy instead of France though. I couldn't resist the temptation when the chance showed up.

    Rhan9 on
  • JaramrJaramr Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    We have the most messed up Europe ive ever seen.

    Jaramr on
  • Rhan9Rhan9 Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Grey is Norway, Most of the Blue is Sweden, and Light Green is Italy. It's all kind of messed up, yeah.

    Rhan9 on
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Is the Reconquista still horribly failing?

    Also, in one of the LPs at SA, the Isle of friggin' Mann took over the entirety of Ireland, Wales, and most of Scotland.

    enlightenedbum on
  • YougottawannaYougottawanna Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Relocate to Jerusalem for KOJ rebooted! Or don't.

    I don't know what it is about these Paradox games that makes Sweden always a force in continental Europe. Happens all the time in EU3 too.

    Yougottawanna on
  • The Fourth EstateThe Fourth Estate Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Relocate to Jerusalem for KOJ rebooted! Or don't.

    I don't know what it is about these Paradox games that makes Sweden always a force in continental Europe. Happens all the time in EU3 too.

    Size of Norway with the wealth of Denmark. Once their neighbours are pacified they are almost as unassailable as England.

    The Fourth Estate on
  • Rhan9Rhan9 Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Is the Reconquista still horribly failing?

    Also, in one of the LPs at SA, the Isle of friggin' Mann took over the entirety of Ireland, Wales, and most of Scotland.

    I don't actually know, I never paid attention to Iberia, seeing how my own realm was in the process of imploding for 20 years.

    Rhan9 on
  • kaliyamakaliyama Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Superbly done! I doubt my AAR is going to be in such great detail, but I will do what I can.

    kaliyama on
  • Rhan9Rhan9 Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    No need. In hindsight, I probably should've been less detailed to spare myself some effort, but so many interesting things happened, and I wanted to at least give them a nod.

    Also, I put Henri down as a Saint, since in my experience everyone who gets beatified gets sainted afterwards.

    Rhan9 on
  • spiderj24spiderj24 Registered User
    edited August 2010
    Just wanted to say, I'm far too busy to actually involve myself in this, but I have been a silent but enthralled spectator. Really hope it goes all the way!

    spiderj24 on
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Status kaliyama?

    enlightenedbum on
  • Rhan9Rhan9 Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Any progress yet?

    Rhan9 on
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I PMed kali and got nothing. If there's nothing by the end of the day, somebody else want to claim the save? Both Rhan and I have it I believe.

    enlightenedbum on
  • PolloDiabloPolloDiablo Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I'll hop back into the rotation after you again if we're the only ones doing this.

    PolloDiablo on
    Be excellent to each other you stupid cunts.
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Yeah, I'll do it myself if:

    1) kali doesn't show up
    2) No one else claims it by Sunday at midnight or so

    enlightenedbum on
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I desire updates. If the next in line for succession must be... removed... then so be it.

    Captain K on
  • PolloDiabloPolloDiablo Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Do it, K. Fulfill the prophecy.

    PolloDiablo on
    Be excellent to each other you stupid cunts.
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Nothing from kali still; if you want the save, post in the thread.

    enlightenedbum on
  • lowlylowlycooklowlylowlycook Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I'm glad you guys are letting this die so it doesn't get bumped anymore. That way I can avoid buying Crusader Kings which seems pretty cool.


    lowlylowlycook on
    (Please do not gift. My game bank is already full.)
  • Rhan9Rhan9 Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I'm glad you guys are letting this die so it doesn't get bumped anymore. That way I can avoid buying Crusader Kings which seems pretty cool.


    Dooo eeeeiiittt....

    Rhan9 on
  • JaramrJaramr Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Agh. I go away for vacation and I come back to a half dead thread.

    What software do you guys usually use for screen shots? I don't think print screen will do it here.

    Jaramr on
  • LowlanderLowlander Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    If he doesn't post by midnight I'd be willing to give it a go.

    My current CK game is stuck in an irritating position that may take a couple of tries to work through. My awesome leader with 15000 prestige just got seriously wounded helping his vassals re-conquer the Duchy of Tolouse and is 58. Meanwhile his only son is 14 and has pneumonia. When his son ends up dying early the last in the line of succession is a bishop who is 58 and has no children. Thankfully I have enough money to pay off people who get ornery during a change of state, but it's still a dicey situation.

    The worst part is that my last save is right after the war with Tolouse, so I'd have to backtrack a good 10 years or so just to get out of the situation.

    Lowlander on
  • JaramrJaramr Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I'm going to try to avoid playing until we hit EU3, since CK loves crashing on my machine.

    Jaramr on
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    On CK the impressive image capturing software we use is called "hitting F11." :P

    I think that's true of all Paradox games, and shift + F11 in EU3 gives you a world map.

    enlightenedbum on
  • LowlanderLowlander Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    CK crashes on me a lot too, but I have it set to autosave every year, and normally I save before major events, so it is playable. Normally it crashes about every 10 to 15 years which can be a decently long play session depending on what's going on.

    Lowlander on
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Alright, Lowlander has played some turns! He says update tomorrow though perhaps not the entirety of his reign. We're back on the road.

    Anybody want our potentially inbreeding heir?

    enlightenedbum on
  • LowlanderLowlander Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    King Jordan I de Nouvelle Burgogne

    and his misadventures with the bastard Serlo de Vermandois.
    13 August 1140
    All hail the new King of Burgundy, Jordan de Vermandois.
    King of Burgundy duke of Champagne, Flanders, Luxembourg, Orleans and Valois. Count of Yperen, Artois, Brugge, Gent, Hainaut, Amiens, Ille de France, Vermandois, Reims, Luxembourg, Brabant and Jerusalem.

    After an appropriate period of grieving for his beloved grandfather, Jordan looks over the kingdom of Burgundy and realizes that his finances aren't doing so well
    400813c.jpgso he makes some adjustments.
    400813b.jpgThat's a bit better. His subjects don't seem to be complaining too much, except for the backwood county of Rhiems.

    He's heard rumors about his vassals mingling in foreign courts, but a bit of coin puts that to rest. All is well in the Kingdom. Surely those Teutonic knights won't be too much of a problem.

    His two daughters need an education, so he sends the first one off to a local noble, and has the nannies raise the second.

    7 December 1140 Marshall Tancred dies. It must've been God's will because we had a much better tactician waiting in the wings.

    26 February 1141 An artist seeks patronage. I pay him to erect a statue in front of the palace that is being built in Ille de France.

    12 March 1141 The Pope calls upon us to establish a new Kingdom from our holdings in Jerusalem. We are reluctant to give up control of the Holy land, but we realize that we cannot turn our backs on the Kingdom of God.

    14 April 1141 One of our vassals seeks independance, Count Manasses de Cornouaille, Count of Carcassone. We choose to let him go in peace with the hopes that he will return to us in the future.

    5 September 1141 The Royal palace comissioned by our grandfather is completed in Ille de France! Finally somewhere I can relax in style.

    30 October 1141 There seems to be a typhoid problem in Artois. Better stay away from the Stella for awhile.

    9 November 1141 The King of Scotland desires to form an alliance with us. Seeing as they're coexisting with the militant English, the one force that really worries me, I decline.

    2 April 1142 Now normally courtiers try to work their way into council positions all the time, and normally they're vastly inferior to the council member their replacing, but oddly this is one incident where this guy is a much better diplomat than the person he is replacing. I'm sure the old Chancellor will be upset, but he can go suck up to those do-nothing Teutonic knights for all I care. What have those guys been up to anyhow? I'm sure that being they're so far away they'll just get tired of us sometime soon.

    4 April 1142 It's time to decide how the daughter we kept around with the nannies will be raised. We elect to keep her around the courts so she can befriend our vassals children and give us the dirt on them.

    15 June 1142 Louis de Joigny, Count of Rennes, seeks to leave our court. I don't know what it is with Brittainy, those guys are so disloyal. Well, Godspeed Louis. If you see our armies drilling in Nantes, don't worry. We're friends, right?

    30 August 1142 What? Where did you guys come from? The Teutonic knights finally decide to come back spoiling for a fight in Luxembourg. 930 men? Are you guys serious? If they keep this up, I'm going to have to take it personally.

    11 October 1142 It's on now! It is a royal pain in the derrier to have to ship troops such a long distance. Marshall Godfrey instructs our fleets to sail through Denmark and Sweden. I think he's been drinking too much lately.

    14 December 1142 The Highland Claymore company offer their assistance. I accept. This will prove fortuitous. While not a decisive force, they turn out to be at the right place at the right time on more than one occaison, and prove to be fairly resilient.

    23 December 1142 ... as we see here when they happen to be in Yperen when enemies are sighted.

    1 February 1143 The bastards have engaged our forces in Brugges! It does not end well
    Godfrey, our Marshall, personally leads a regiment of superior numbers and discipline to crush Willhelm.

    10 April 1143 Our destination is in sight. Their lands lie before us. They've been sending over middling forces and they only own a small stretch of land on the cold Baltic sea. Hopefully we can make it home before winter sets in. Our leaders send dispatches back to Burgundy that they should prepare to hold a triumph.

    11 May 1143 The war is proceeding well.

    19 June 1143 This commences a troubling period in our Kingship. There are two Serlo de Vermandois's One is some bastard who I care nothing about, except for the fact that he is related to me. The other is my only son and heir who I care a great deal about. I spend the next five years or so worrying excessively over the health of the bastard while my son wonders what exactly his father has been smoking.

    30 July 1143 Victory! One down two to go! God must surely watch over us!

    9 September 1143 ...uhhhhh. D:
    The red territories are ones that we are at war with.

    30 September 1143 Apparently schizophrenia can be fatal. Wait? So if he died, were there people out to get him? If they were, was he really schizophrenic? Are people out to get me? I think that bastard Serlo is behind all this.

    13 October 1143 Things are looking pretty grim. Thankfully I have re-inforcements on the way.

    20 November 1143 Sometimes people dying is a good thing. This is especially true when I get a title out of it.

    1 December 1143 Two down one to go!

    7 December 1143 What is it with these knights and Luxembourg? Are they stamp collectors? Why are they attacking me? Shouldn't they be defending their homeland?

    10 January 1144 Finally our reinforcements arrive!

    9 February 1144 ... and their court is jumping ship. Of course they're welcome to my court. This will give me just the pretense I need to take their land.

    17 February 1144 The Teutonic knights foolishly decline my offer. Do they think that the Kingdom of Poland will save them?

    24 February 1144 Who the hell are YOU kid? You're my son? I thought you were sick or something. Don't you know I'm trying to run a war here? Who is that other kid then? I decide he's not old enough for this knowledge and I refuse to fill his head with some weird birds and bees nonsense.

    5 March 1144 Who's calling my son a bastard! This is getting ridiculous. I decide that the only place for a bastard is at the Monastery. Might as well not get his hopes up, because he's never going to be King.

    23 April 1144 Finally those barbarians are supressed. Their last province has been 'liberated.'

    11 May 1144 Not long afterwards the dastardly Polish claim the province for themselves. They don't revert control to the Teutonic order. They must have ulterior motives, or perhaps they just don't want their assistance?

    14 June 1144 We soon defeat them though, and the Knights offer a white peace. After all the trouble they've put me through, they're not getting off so easily.

    19 August 1144 Hah! One of the Polish King's vassals grows weary of war. We take the offer of peace.

    18 October 1144 hahahahahaha! I wish everybody could be born into serfdom!

    Lowlander on
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Yay pointless overseas wars!

    That aren't part of our ancestral claims.

    This is obviously the correct thing to do.

    enlightenedbum on
  • LowlanderLowlander Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    21 November 1141 Strange sights fill the skies! I know it's just the Aurora, but these cretins don't know any better so I pay off the church to tell them it presages the fall of the Teutonic Knights!
    ...who finally accede to my demands. I gain the county of Galinda, which I don't really want, but I take more as a warning to people who want to mess with Burgundy.

    13 January 1145 My Steward tries to get me to pay her off, but as you can see this war has been a drain on my economy. I decline and take the loyalty hit.

    15 March 1145 This commences my 'liberation' of Poland. I have no claims on any of their territories, and I can't seem to find any of their armies anywhere, but it feels good to deprive them of their lands, at least for a little while.
    Eventually I have to adjust my scutage to avoid going bankrupt.
    Which is when I get the great idea of pillaging their lands. Normally I avoid this, as you take a hit to your piety, but I need the money. It also helps you out in the long run, because their provinces gain the 'pillaged' status which means that they don't produce as much gold for them. I will come to be grateful for this in the future.

    12 December 1145 Yes, anything you want miracle worker! What would papa ever do without you, my beloved Serlo. It would be the greatest Christmas present ever if you got well for daddy! My nanny wonders in disbelief. She knows hes actually my bastard brother. Apparently my father was siring children for over 29 years.

    27 January 1146 The rape of Poland continues.

    1 April 1146 I display my benificence by feeding bread to the poor in Brabant.

    3 April 1146 Jordan weeps as there are no more Polish lands to conquer and offers peace, which is gratefully accepted.

    26 June 1146 Some kid wants to know how he should pursue his education. I tell him to go hang out with the other kids in the court and stop bothering me.

    18 January 1147 Ok, I've been on the throne for a while, and I'm getting pretty comfortable. You've clearly seen that I know how to lead troops in far off lands. I will no longer tolerate deserters.

    5 May 1147 Not again! Papa will take care of you boy! (once again this is my bastard brother)

    13 June 1147 I swear to God I will smack my nanny right across the face if she ever tries to tell me that my son is schizophrenic. Apparently my son has become friends with himself? Bah!

    3 July 1147 I decide that in order to prevent our troops from getting lazy, we should send them off to Cornouaille for summer exercises. This will be great, they can practice their seamanship, as well as stage mock sieges.

    15 September 1147 Oh crap!

    20 November 1147 My girls are so weak willed. The summer exercise is a success, and the troops are gearing up to come home when I remember that I used to have some vassals hereabouts. Maybe I should throw a suprise visit.

    15 January 1148 The Count of Vannes doesn't seem happy to see me.

    1 February 1148 As I mentioned before, I'm worried about our friend across the channel, and if there's anything I can do to improve relations, I'll do it.

    15 February 1148 Vannes is liberated. I graciously offer to allow the good count to retain his lands while re-affirming his vassalship for a paltry fee of 412 gold coins.

    24 February 1148 Denmark offers an alliance. I accept. They are a small country and may offer me a good reason to go to war with Sweden or Norway who have carved up portions of Germany adjacent to me.

    5 March 1148 Moving on to Nantes. Hrm. This doesn't look too good.

    9 March 1148 I shall shave my head and garb myself in burlap, for I have lost my only son! What? That's not my son? Only now does it become clear to me that there are two Serlo de Vermandois. I publish an edict prohibiting any noble from giving their child the same name as one of the King's children.

    11 April 1148 Well, that didn't work out the way I'd hoped, but there are more troops where those came from.

    20 May 1148 The second battle of Nantes has begun. I wisely threw my troops into the county as they arrived rather than waste time by merging them in an adjacent province.

    28 May 1148 After the death of my only 'son' I reconsider my celibate lifestyle. Time to make some more heirs! My wife reminds me that I still have a son. To hell with it! More heirs!

    5 June 1148 This is not going the way I'd planned.

    12 June 1148 So wait... I should have assembled my troops before I attacked? My Marshall teaches me a valuable lesson which I will no doubt apply in the future. Never let it be said that the King of Burgundy is reckless!

    13 June 1148 The lesson comes too late to make a difference.

    23 July 1148 Third time is a charm? The count of Nantes foolishly sent his troops sailing off into the sunset, and returned when I had his castle under siege, which is why I'm on the bottom.

    1 August 1148 Something I had neglected to mention, as it was immeterial was that I have been at war with the Emirate of Abbasid which owns the island of Sicily in toto and nothing else. The Duke of Alsace declared war on them, and I obliged them, seeing as they weren't really a threat to me directly and I figured its always good to be at war with the Heathens to give you something to do should you get bored at home.

    6 August 1148 I offer to Nantes the same terms that I gave to Vannes, he just had a little more money to 'liberate.'

    28 October 1148 Not one for allowing his armies to lie idle, King Jordan orders winter exercises near the County of Tourraine which long ago left us to become a vassal of the Polish.

    30 November 1148 When I finally assemble the troops and March into Tourraine I was not suprised for my Chancellor to give me the following messages:

    This is the current situation. The red counties are at war with me, and that blue up top is most of what is the current state of Denmark.

    5 December 1148 Maurice old boy, you taught me well.

    16 December 1148 For Maurice!!!

    14 January 1149 I'm beginning to grow accustomed to the wealth I'm 'liberating' from my future vassals. My courtiers tell me they're no less loyal for it either! Only time will tell I guess.

    21 January 1149 Vendome falls next. Thankfully there are a few provinces that the weakened Poland owns adjacent to me that I have claims on. The main forces of Poland have a long way to go via land or sea. I haven't seen their forces yet, and hopefully I never will. This poor guy doesn't have any money for me.

    21 March 1149 Your turn Guines. I remember when your troops pestered me during my previous war. Only 119 gold. Oh bother.

    10 August 1149 I'm not normally in the habit of calling girls 'sissies,' but if you say so. She now has the qualities 'temperate,' 'amiable,' and 'merciful.' Sounds ok to me.

    1 January 1150 Taking advantage of this, another noble's child begins to pick on her. I tell her to just deal with it, and she's no worse for the wear.

    3 February 1150 While fighting in Vendome, it suddenly occured to me that I was in fact the rightful heir to the county of Maine, currently held by the weak and splintered France. I had my Chancellor show the King the 'official' papers. He claimed that the ink was so fresh that he smudged it the moment he touched it. I don't know. I certainly can't vouch for the quality of ink used in days of yore. They were quickly subdued.

    I'm still at war with Poland, and this could bite me in the butt. I've noticed that my buddies the Danish are moving troops around. Hopefully they'll pester the Polish for me.

    Lowlander on
  • PolloDiabloPolloDiablo Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Awesome, subjugate the hell out of them. I find it funny that we're creating religious orders with one hand, and blowing others up with the other. It's got to confuse the pope.

    edit: Poor Serlo.

    PolloDiablo on
    Be excellent to each other you stupid cunts.
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Oh, I'd like to request a map interlude at the end of your reign. Ideally with helpful labels. Or send me the save and I'll do it.

    British Isles
    Holy Land

    Though you should be able to combine some of those into single shots.

    enlightenedbum on
  • LowlanderLowlander Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I will do that. I'll try to focus on showing more map stuff to give people perspective. It doesn't help that when I actually play the game, most of the time I keep it on the relationship overlay so I can see where the threats are, and what I have claims on.

    It bugs me. There IS NO SPAIN. France has some holdings down there, but otherwise it is a horde of Heathens.

    Lowlander on
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