Fact: I have a scar on my left pinky from the bread cutter.
:?
Ferrus on
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
I wonder what sort of secrets would be really interesting, other than fighting crime at night or having killed someone. Most secrets tend to be about love and cheating, I get the feeling.
That said I have little interesting secrets.
But I am posting
Naked
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I Win Swordfightsall the traits of greatnessstarlight at my feetRegistered Userregular
I am mildly allergic to bee stings. I don't go into anaphylactic shock or anything, but the whole limb that gets stung swells up like a balloon and I can't use it for a week or so.
FACT: A cousin called me all hysterical and shit one night. Her boyfriend had just beaten her up in a drunken rage. I go over there and she runs out and gets into my Caprice. He's right behind her and tries to drag her out of the car. I get out run over to him and put him into a headlock. I then walked him over to the driver side while punching him in the face a few times. I sat in the driver's seat with his head firmly locked in my left arm. Put the car into drive and floored the gas pedal with him crying for his life while hanging outside the door. About a block and a half down the road I let go of him.
He got scraped and bruised up but didn't break anything. He quit drinking and never acted like that again. They're happily married now.
FACT: I saw my uncle beat a man to death with a pipe. It was done for literally no reason. This happened the same night that my dad was stabbed in the back over beating some guy in a pool game. Guy bet five dollars or some shit and thought my dad was a scrub. After he was beaten he started yelling some shit. My dad walked over to him and said it's cool and gave him a hug. Then he got stabbed.
SECRET: I used to be play the keyboard. I wanted to start a Depeche Mode cover band, but my circle of friends and family aren't into that kind of stuff.
FACT: A cousin called me all hysterical and shit one night. Her boyfriend had just beaten her up in a drunken rage. I go over there and she runs out and gets into my Caprice. He's right behind her and tries to drag her out of the car. I get out run over to him and put him into a headlock. I then walked him over to the driver side while punching him in the face a few times. I sat in the driver's seat with his head firmly locked in my left arm. Put the car into drive and floored the gas pedal with him crying for his life while hanging outside the door. About a block and a half down the road I let go of him.
He got scraped and bruised up but didn't break anything. He quit drinking and never acted like that again. They're happily married now.
This is not how these stories usually end. Wow.
Ferrus on
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
FACT: A cousin called me all hysterical and shit one night. Her boyfriend had just beaten her up in a drunken rage. I go over there and she runs out and gets into my Caprice. He's right behind her and tries to drag her out of the car. I get out run over to him and put him into a headlock. I then walked him over to the driver side while punching him in the face a few times. I sat in the driver's seat with his head firmly locked in my left arm. Put the car into drive and floored the gas pedal with him crying for his life while hanging outside the door. About a block and a half down the road I let go of him.
He got scraped and bruised up but didn't break anything. He quit drinking and never acted like that again. They're happily married now.
FACT: I saw my uncle beat a man to death with a pipe. It was done for literally no reason. This happened the same night that my dad was stabbed in the back over beating some guy in a pool game. Guy bet five dollars or some shit and thought my dad was a scrub. After he was beaten he started yelling some shit. My dad walked over to him and said it's cool and gave him a hug. Then he got stabbed.
SECRET: I used to be play the keyboard. I wanted to start a Depeche Mode cover band, but my circle of friends and family aren't into that kind of stuff.
SECRET: I ratted out a girl who was cheating on tests in my high school AP European History class. She would hide a page full of answers and notes in her stack of "blank" papers that she took out for the test. I went by the classroom that morning before the teacher got in and slipped a typed note under the door. That day when we took the test he went around and checked everyone papers and WHOOPS
Posts
Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
He proposed to his girlfriend outside in October or so. He had to take benadryl and bring lots of handwarmers.
and i hate it when people are all "WHATS THAT" and I have to tell them I got bitten by a shark with nothing but molars
I love the smell of it though!
I'm not judging that is just a gross mental image!
Apparently it's a good thing I'm aware of that.
Meeee tooo!
The next step in human evolution, right here.
i acquired both of these tolerances
it sucks!
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
what up cold urticaria buddy
Who is the Drizzle
That said I have little interesting secrets.
But I am posting
Naked
Not even to pollen
Same
allergic to nothing, susceptible to nothing
even germs have a hard time getting in
my body just decides to be a certain way and to hell with people trying to mess with that
He got scraped and bruised up but didn't break anything. He quit drinking and never acted like that again. They're happily married now.
FACT: I saw my uncle beat a man to death with a pipe. It was done for literally no reason. This happened the same night that my dad was stabbed in the back over beating some guy in a pool game. Guy bet five dollars or some shit and thought my dad was a scrub. After he was beaten he started yelling some shit. My dad walked over to him and said it's cool and gave him a hug. Then he got stabbed.
SECRET: I used to be play the keyboard. I wanted to start a Depeche Mode cover band, but my circle of friends and family aren't into that kind of stuff.
Vassilis Paleokostas, the "Robin Hood of Greece" escaped from prison twice by helicopter!
MANLESHIBA
so this is what a stroke feels like
holla
I've heard of that!!
I was watching something or seeing something with a friend and that came up and we both fucking went nuts
This is not how these stories usually end. Wow.
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Secret Satan
just go with it
just roll with it
just bounce, bounce
Are you mad max
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9DmcxIZ_fA
I feel the same way whenever I'm there.
Dolphins evolved from land predators resembling wolves, and their tiny monster legs are still visible in the embryonic stages!
MANLESHIBA
now i'm not tryin to be rude
but hey pretty girl i'm feelin you