chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited December 2010
Combat Logs, X-Com Aquatic Combat Division:
First Contact, Incident 1.
Acheron Base: Right. We have no confirmation for exactly what's out there, but it was able to destroy a trained investigative task force without a trace. Be careful, stay alert, watch your backs.
And good hunting, Triton 1.
Raneados: Right, right. Triton 1, signing off.
Alright. So, we've got an unknown number of terrifyingly effective enemy combatants outside. Anyone object to the tank going out first?
No?
That's what I thought.
Campion: Looks like we got contact. Carthage, torpedo.
Carthage: You sure? Don't have a clean line of fire, and I have no idea what the thing is. Or even if it is a thing. I've heard stories about the HWPs firing on random debris.
Campion: I'm sure.
*Explosion*
Carthage: Alright. Whatever it was, it's dead now.
!signup Sorry, my bus was late. Combat Medic and Recreational Surfer Wavecutter reporting for duty as ordered. Oh wait. It seems they've all gone out. I'll just see whats in the fridge and wait for them to get back.
Is there any chance that you could make the screenshots a bit bigger? I think fishman's were about double the size. It'd just be easier to make out what's happening.
By the way, if you haven't seen it, GuavaMoment at SA did a VLP of TftD multiplayer. And he played the aliens. It was brutal. Except for the ship mission (update 9), which he did himself. Against lobstermen.
enlightenedbum on
Self-righteousness is incompatible with coalition building.
0
chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited December 2010
Campion: Castle, please tell me you have the hydro jet cannon ready. We need heavy fire power right now.
OnTheLastCastle: Got it. Just need to line it up for a burst.
*Autocannon whine*
OnTheLastCastle: Alright, just need to line up the next one better.
OnTheLastCastle: Shit.
Campion: That nearly hit the tank. Have you ever used this thing before? Carthage, you got another torp?
Oh Hydro-Jet Cannons. I would rather have the stupid fucking dart gun than those fucking things.
enlightenedbum on
Self-righteousness is incompatible with coalition building.
0
Ninja Snarl PMy helmet is my burden.Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered Userregular
edited December 2010
One must wonder just where those rounds go. Hours from now, will the corpse of a punctured, battered whale descend gracefully to the see floor to bewilder the alien survivors or provide an object lesson in making sure the downrange is clear for the humans on mop-up? Or do the rounds merely run out of juice, remain floating where they are, and eventually murder some curious and playful dolphin passing by?
Ninja Snarl P on
0
chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited December 2010
OnTheLastCastle: Just keeping the thing's head down.
Raneados: It might not even be there!
OnTheLastCastle: Then I'm shooting it because I hate it.
Raneados: Fair enough.
OnTheLastCastle: And it's back. This may be the stupidest alien alive. We're doing it a favor by blowing its head off.
OnTheLastCastle: You're welcome. Two up, two down.
Campion: And it looks like we got a third. Anyone still got ammo for the big guns?
Joshua1, Professional Corpse and Food Critic, reporting for duty
joshua1 on
0
chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited December 2010
Carthage: Got a couple shots. Keep it busy.
Campion: On it.
*explosion*
Rainfall: Wow. That was the worst shooting I have ever seen.
*explosion*
Rainfall: Alright, like, fifth worst. Geeze. This thing is tough to hit.
Rankenfile: Alright, someone needs to show you idiots which end of the fucking gun you point at the enemy. Step a-fucking-side and let a man deal with the problem.
a cook huh.
I've been sitting on this recipe for a while.
Preparation Time: 3 hours Servings: 50
Ingredients
2 live spiny Lobster Men
1.25 gallons of butter
2,5 gallons of vine ripened tomatoes, large dice
1.25 cups of olive oil
2.5 cups of red wine/port (can use vinegar)
80 large leaves fresh basil, chiffonade
20 shallots, brunoise
20 cloves garlic, minced
salt
fresh cracked pepper
Directions
(be sure to remove all alien devices as you go along)
1. Kill the Lobster Men
2. Remove the tail. Scrape any grit out of the head and chop the shell of the head in a meat grinder.
3. Warm the butter in a big metal barrel drum with the lobster shell and cook on very low heat until the shells turn red. Strain and chill.
4. Combine the tomatoes, olive oil, red wine vinegar, basil, garlic, shallot, salt and pepper for the tomato relish and chill.
5. Bring 20 gallons of well salted water to boil in a drum and boil the tails for 1 hour.
6. Remove the tails from the drum and, with vibroblade, cut down the center underbelly of the tail. Then, slice into the tail meat, expose the vein on top of the tail/meat and scrape it out.
Salt and pepper the tails and brush them with butter.
7. Grill on both sides until tail is fully cooked, about 1 hour on each side, brushing the open side with butter.
Top tails with tomato relish and butter. Lobster Man butter may be formed into a roll and sliced or scooped with a melon baller. The butter is also good brushed on bruschetta to be grilled and served with the Lobster Man tails.
Tsk. Yet another example of over cooking. Your classic Lobsterman is 6kg of chitin, then 50kg of flesh. Generally hard to capture intact, I recommend using elasto-retractable restrainment devices, since those claws can give you a nasty pinch.
Once you have managed to corral 4-6 of these beautiful specimens, carefully transfer them into the reactor containment unit, along with 12kg of lemon halves and a single case of malt rich beer.
Once safely contained, flood the chamber to 2.5m deep with sea water, just deep enough for your average lobsterman to submerge comfortably.
Now, your commander needs to order a full halt and adjust the ballast until you are only 5000 fathoms under the sea. This way the nitrogen gases promotes the permeation of the citric acid in the lobsterman bloodstream and the malt has time to fully soak into the mandibles.
This is when it gets tricky. Remove 70% of the carbon rods controlling the reactor core, because you need a load of those protons to really get this recipe kicking.
Immediately as you past the 70% mark, begin returning the rods, as the protons with continue to further propagate without your interference.
This way, you are able to steam your fresh lobstermen while retaining their ocean freshness. The lemons and the malt flavour serve to enhance the natural smokiness, without blanding the whole affair with gallons and gallons of butter.
I recommend serving with an array of mustards, ranging from the mild to potent. Layer with fresh crusty bread and aromatic olive oil, and you have a meal fit for a carrier battle group.
Enjoy, and death to the Alien Aggressor!
- Joshua1
joshua1 on
0
Librarian's ghostLibrarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSporkRegistered Userregular
One of the challenges in TftD is getting experience since the enemy uses more grenades and tanks are just so much better when dealing with grenades. Anyway, that was my rather poor experience. I don't know how many full teams I've lost on the first mission.
Self-righteousness is incompatible with coalition building.
0
chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited December 2010
On the whole, our first mission was a shocking success. No deaths, no injuries, and the only damage to anything was some scratched paint on the Triton.
Although I would recommend more time at the firing range for all of you, general performance was solid, and in two cases worthy of special recognition.
Campion and Rankenfile showed initiative and tolerable accuracy in their fieldwork, and I am proud to give them command of field operations.
Current kill board:
Campion 1
OnTheLastCastle 1
Tofystedeth AI system 1
Pilot kills
Timspork's Ghost 1 USO (small), 2 aliens killed in crash.
Recently while interviewing young aquanaughts on their way to fight the evil, possibly communist, alien menace, we came across some very dedicated young men!
Smaug6 inspired fellow troops with this tidy TIDBIT, "Those Alien scum killed my only friend and surrogate father. All Flipper ever wanted was to splash in the bay, eat fish and teach me life lessons. Then one night, the ocean turned bright green and the water boiled. I heard Flipper's shrill squeaks and ran as fast as I could to the shore, but by the time I got there, all that was left was a bloody blowhole." Sobbed Recruit Smaug6. "I say, KILL THEM ALL!"
Other grizzled Aquanaught, Decius slurred, "I cannnnn't wait to back under....under...under the sea. Life is better, down where its wetter, take it from me. Pluusshhh they have free SCHnnnappps on Fridays." Decius then promptly fell asleep to be better rested to take on the alien menace.
Meanwhile, recruit Hobnail stared off into space and whimsically offered this motivational piece, "For me, it was like a return to the womb. I was absorbed by mother ocean... in all her wondrous glory
The sea is a symphony of colors... And yet, there is danger at every turn. She is a fierce and fickle mistress.
Ah, yes. Loligo Giganticus. With a razor sharp beak, that can tear steel as easily as I tear a croissant...But, at heart, he is a peaceful giant..." Hobnail then proceeded to gently stroke the mighty beast while shooing it gently away from the aqua base.
Finally I spoke, while spoke with is a generous term, recruit Enlightenedbum, I asked him what his strategy for fighting the alien aquatic attackers was. He stated, "Welll, mmm this lobster is really succulent, mmm, *gulp**crunch*, can I get some more butter over here? Well, the way *nom nom nom* I see it, is if I eat enough lobster, then, ***slurp***, the lobster aliens will think me as one of their own. I can *burp* blend in and infiltrate *tears head off third lobster* their squads and acts a spy." By God I think he may be bright. Even if he gives his life immediately, hes doing his part by destroying as many of those crusty crustaceans as possible. He's doing his part!
Sign up for the mobile aquatic infantry! They're doing their part, now its time to do YOURS!
Support the war effort and EAT MORE Snacky S'mores!
Good work boys. I'm hoping i reach activity through a new team being made, and not over a pile of bodies.
Melding on
0
chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited December 2010
Science Report
Classified X4
Commander?
Ah, Caulk Bite. Heard the medikit modification was done. Good work.
You honestly thought I'd bother you with that? I wouldn't waste your time.
So, what is this about? You make any progress on the Gauss project?
More important than that. Catch.
Okay, very nice, what the hell is it?
Grenade. Alien tech. Massive blast radius, incredibly powerful. Makes most of the surfaceside stuff look inadequate. One of them would have killed the entire investigation team. We were very lucky.
Extended pause
And you threw it to me. In a base where one breech would leave us all dead.
It's not like it was armed. At any rate, I'd advise deploying these things on every possible contact. The risk of damaging valuable resources is far outweighed by the increased survivability and versatility.
I'll take it under advisement. Thank you for your time. Anything else salvaged from the alien craft?
chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited December 2010
Oh, and a fiscal update.
The sale of resources from our first mission provided enough funds to purchase a second mobile tracked robot modified for surface operations.
The odds of non aquatic combat seem low at the moment, but it seemed sensible to cover for any eventuality. It is still bereft of an official designation, however, and suggestions will be considered.
I'll take it under advisement. Thank you for your time. Anything else salvaged from the alien craft?
A few things.
Use your discretion.
Personally, I feel that the Sonic weapons (while seeming to be extremely effective) aren't in our best interests to research and produce at this time. Primarily due to their dependency upon a new alien substance, we've translated as "Zrbite". Whatever it is, we can't make more of it, so our only source is hunting more aliens.
Which leads me to my recommendation of heading to Gauss Tech. This should become our workhorse tech, much like the lasers they developed topside. If nothing else, we can also start selling them to warlords in third world countries for a quick cash out.
Stuff the recovered aquatoid corpse and use it as a hat stand in the base's rec room.
you should know that the Hat Stand and other furniture pieces are reserved as places of honor for the fallen comrades that we manage to recover and stuff.
What worked for Tofystedeth up top should work for us. Besides, Rank already put in for the corpse to be ground into powder and burned. To experiment on it's use as an... Inhalant, apparently.
While I'm partially joining up out of fear of our crustacean overlords, I have an ulterior motive.
I represent the conglomerate who provided most of X-COM's funding in the first war and will most likely do the same in this one. I'm not referring to any nation of course, but to Alien Autopsy Ltd. We'd like to purchase all alien corpses X-COM may come across. Mostly for use as props, but also various household supplies.
enlightenedbum on
Self-righteousness is incompatible with coalition building.
0
Caulk Bite 6One of the multitude of Dans infesting this placeRegistered Userregular
edited December 2010
well, as a civie, you'll have to get the director's permission, and then work through WotanAnubis in xenobiology.
Then you'll have to convince Rank to give up a possible new source of intoxicants. and when we start to bring in Lobstermen, you'll need to fight off lowlylowlycook and the kitchen staff.
Posts
First Contact, Incident 1.
Acheron Base: Right. We have no confirmation for exactly what's out there, but it was able to destroy a trained investigative task force without a trace. Be careful, stay alert, watch your backs.
And good hunting, Triton 1.
Raneados: Right, right. Triton 1, signing off.
Alright. So, we've got an unknown number of terrifyingly effective enemy combatants outside. Anyone object to the tank going out first?
No?
That's what I thought.
Campion: Looks like we got contact. Carthage, torpedo.
Carthage: You sure? Don't have a clean line of fire, and I have no idea what the thing is. Or even if it is a thing. I've heard stories about the HWPs firing on random debris.
Campion: I'm sure.
*Explosion*
Carthage: Alright. Whatever it was, it's dead now.
Why I fear the ocean.
Carthage: Son of a BITCH! How did the thing survive a torpedo again?
No wonder the first team bit it! Shit, shit, shit...
Campion: That's what the tank is for, right? Just stay calm, it can distract the thing, maybe buy time for you to reload.
*explosion*
Campion: Or reduce it to component atoms. That works just as well.
Zahrkon: LZ looks clear.
Campion: Alright, good. We can start spreading out then.
Campion: Belay that. Got another live one.
Why I fear the ocean.
OnTheLastCastle: Got it. Just need to line it up for a burst.
*Autocannon whine*
OnTheLastCastle: Alright, just need to line up the next one better.
OnTheLastCastle: Shit.
Campion: That nearly hit the tank. Have you ever used this thing before? Carthage, you got another torp?
Carthage: Just give the word.
*explosion*
Carthage: Dammit! That was a perfect shot!
Raneados: It's moving! Get down!
*Hideous screeching*
Campion: Anyone dead?
OnTheLastCastle: Doesn't seem so, but it's gone.
Why I fear the ocean.
OnTheLastCastle: Just keeping the thing's head down.
Raneados: It might not even be there!
OnTheLastCastle: Then I'm shooting it because I hate it.
Raneados: Fair enough.
OnTheLastCastle: And it's back. This may be the stupidest alien alive. We're doing it a favor by blowing its head off.
OnTheLastCastle: You're welcome. Two up, two down.
Campion: And it looks like we got a third. Anyone still got ammo for the big guns?
Why I fear the ocean.
Joshua1, Professional Corpse and Food Critic, reporting for duty
Campion: On it.
*explosion*
Rainfall: Wow. That was the worst shooting I have ever seen.
*explosion*
Rainfall: Alright, like, fifth worst. Geeze. This thing is tough to hit.
Rankenfile: Alright, someone needs to show you idiots which end of the fucking gun you point at the enemy. Step a-fucking-side and let a man deal with the problem.
Why I fear the ocean.
Rankenfile: Okay, this is a tough son of a bitch.
Campion: Never mind, everybody. Handled it myself. And it looks like that was the last of them. Man, Timspork's Ghost did a number on their sub.
Base? We have met the enemy and they are ours.
Acheron Base: We're sending a recovery team in to pick up the pieces right now. Good work.
End report
A post mission analysis should be ready shortly, but for the moment, I have to say I am pleased with the success so far. Keep it up.
Why I fear the ocean.
Tsk. Yet another example of over cooking. Your classic Lobsterman is 6kg of chitin, then 50kg of flesh. Generally hard to capture intact, I recommend using elasto-retractable restrainment devices, since those claws can give you a nasty pinch.
Once you have managed to corral 4-6 of these beautiful specimens, carefully transfer them into the reactor containment unit, along with 12kg of lemon halves and a single case of malt rich beer.
Once safely contained, flood the chamber to 2.5m deep with sea water, just deep enough for your average lobsterman to submerge comfortably.
Now, your commander needs to order a full halt and adjust the ballast until you are only 5000 fathoms under the sea. This way the nitrogen gases promotes the permeation of the citric acid in the lobsterman bloodstream and the malt has time to fully soak into the mandibles.
This is when it gets tricky. Remove 70% of the carbon rods controlling the reactor core, because you need a load of those protons to really get this recipe kicking.
Immediately as you past the 70% mark, begin returning the rods, as the protons with continue to further propagate without your interference.
This way, you are able to steam your fresh lobstermen while retaining their ocean freshness. The lemons and the malt flavour serve to enhance the natural smokiness, without blanding the whole affair with gallons and gallons of butter.
I recommend serving with an array of mustards, ranging from the mild to potent. Layer with fresh crusty bread and aromatic olive oil, and you have a meal fit for a carrier battle group.
Enjoy, and death to the Alien Aggressor!
- Joshua1
Ahahahaha. Yesssss. I made sure there was enough left for you guys to get your feet wet.
It's how I resized all of my Daggerfall LP images.
Steam profile.
Getting started with BATTLETECH: Part 1 / Part 2
On the whole, our first mission was a shocking success. No deaths, no injuries, and the only damage to anything was some scratched paint on the Triton.
Although I would recommend more time at the firing range for all of you, general performance was solid, and in two cases worthy of special recognition.
Campion and Rankenfile showed initiative and tolerable accuracy in their fieldwork, and I am proud to give them command of field operations.
Current kill board:
Campion 1
OnTheLastCastle 1
Tofystedeth AI system 1
Pilot kills
Timspork's Ghost 1 USO (small), 2 aliens killed in crash.
Why I fear the ocean.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?
Well, depends what difficulty level he's playing at and if he let the bug happen.
Also: Aquatoids.
Classified X4
Commander?
Ah, Caulk Bite. Heard the medikit modification was done. Good work.
You honestly thought I'd bother you with that? I wouldn't waste your time.
So, what is this about? You make any progress on the Gauss project?
More important than that. Catch.
Okay, very nice, what the hell is it?
Grenade. Alien tech. Massive blast radius, incredibly powerful. Makes most of the surfaceside stuff look inadequate. One of them would have killed the entire investigation team. We were very lucky.
Extended pause
And you threw it to me. In a base where one breech would leave us all dead.
It's not like it was armed. At any rate, I'd advise deploying these things on every possible contact. The risk of damaging valuable resources is far outweighed by the increased survivability and versatility.
I'll take it under advisement. Thank you for your time. Anything else salvaged from the alien craft?
A few things.
Use your discretion.
Why I fear the ocean.
*edit* TOTP, better add a link to something interesting;
The Legend of Patrick Stewart
My time to shine!
PSN: Wstfgl | GamerTag: An Evil Plan | Battle.net: FallenIdle#1970
Hit me up on BoardGameArena! User: Loaded D1
The sale of resources from our first mission provided enough funds to purchase a second mobile tracked robot modified for surface operations.
The odds of non aquatic combat seem low at the moment, but it seemed sensible to cover for any eventuality. It is still bereft of an official designation, however, and suggestions will be considered.
Why I fear the ocean.
Personally, I feel that the Sonic weapons (while seeming to be extremely effective) aren't in our best interests to research and produce at this time. Primarily due to their dependency upon a new alien substance, we've translated as "Zrbite". Whatever it is, we can't make more of it, so our only source is hunting more aliens.
Which leads me to my recommendation of heading to Gauss Tech. This should become our workhorse tech, much like the lasers they developed topside. If nothing else, we can also start selling them to warlords in third world countries for a quick cash out.
you should know that the Hat Stand and other furniture pieces are reserved as places of honor for the fallen comrades that we manage to recover and stuff.
What worked for Tofystedeth up top should work for us. Besides, Rank already put in for the corpse to be ground into powder and burned. To experiment on it's use as an... Inhalant, apparently.
I represent the conglomerate who provided most of X-COM's funding in the first war and will most likely do the same in this one. I'm not referring to any nation of course, but to Alien Autopsy Ltd. We'd like to purchase all alien corpses X-COM may come across. Mostly for use as props, but also various household supplies.
Then you'll have to convince Rank to give up a possible new source of intoxicants. and when we start to bring in Lobstermen, you'll need to fight off lowlylowlycook and the kitchen staff.