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Dogs carrying sticks thread (also [chat])

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    Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    edited March 2011
    THIS IS FOR "WHINGE", NIGEL!

    Irond Will on
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    RiemannLivesRiemannLives Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Sheep wrote: »
    Anti-vaxxers are not aware of the harm they are causing

    You seriously don't think an anti vaxxer doesn't have the cognitive ability to make the connection that "If my child doesn't get the measles vaccination, he will get the measles"?

    If my child doesn't get the measles vaccination, he might get the measles

    If my child gets the measles vaccination, he is having poison injected into him

    They opt for the possible harm over the definite. It makes a certain sense, from their point of view.

    You left out probably the most important part:

    If my child doesn't get the measles vaccination, he might pass along that infection to any children he comes in contact with (even passively, measles is extraordinarly contagious) who are too young to have been vaccinated yet. Or elerly people, chemo patients, those with AIDS or anyone else with a compromized immune system.

    That's important but it's not most important. Primary motivation of Anti-vaxxers is protecting themselves and their children. They attempt to protect others as well, but this is secondary. A parent's priorities are the safety of their children above all else. Do you have children? Would you put the possibility of someone else being exposed to harm over your own child absolutely being exposed to harm?

    Again, I'm not trying to justify what they're doing. What they're doing is wrong. They are wrong. They are harmful. Not evil, though.

    Since you ask, and it is a pathetic and feeble rhetorical dodge to try and warp the conversation into one where only parents have the "right" to speak out on this, I am indeed a parent. My son is 9 years old and, of course, fully vaccinated.

    I would add to this little anecdote that my mother, though born after the invention of the vaccine, had polio as a child due to being from a poor family without access to proper medical care. She never grew beyond 4' 11" tall in a family where someone half a foot taller would be considered short. She also has a malformed right leg and has required a leg brace and cane to even walk her entire life (it's a damn lucky thing she wasn't in a wheelchair). She still has some chronic health problems caused by contracting polio during her adolescenent development.

    Being a parent, and having gone through the calculus of harm as you suggested, has only made my conviction that anti-vaxxers are evil people even stronger.

    RiemannLives on
    Attacked by tweeeeeeees!
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    HaphazardHaphazard Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Gooey wrote: »
    Haphazard wrote: »
    Mars bars trigger airport security. That's what I learned today.

    WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS CHOCOLATE, SIR?

    DON'T THEY HAVE CHOCOLATE IN GERMANY??

    *narrows eyes*

    WHAT'S YOUR ANGLE.

    Haha, no! I brought them from Germany with me, for eventual bloodsugar fumbles, you see. Had no trouble at all bringing them in, but on the way out they triggered some kind of alert. The swiped all of the stuff in my hand baggage, till the security lady exclaimed "it was the Mars!", while nearly falling down laughing. Left me baffled.

    Haphazard on
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    amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I'd like to go back in time, meet the asshole that invented the necktie, and punch him/her in the taint...

    you know... since we're talkin' bout taint punching

    amateurhour on
    are YOU on the beer list?
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    BamaBama Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Will, I now know what I'm doing over spring break.

    Bama on
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    WashWash Sweet Christmas Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Kagera wrote: »
    Oh.

    OH JESUS DUDE YOU ARE RIGHT!

    TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OMG THAT'S BRILLIANT!

    What makes it the best joke is how everyone knows it but how many actually understand the punchline?

    Wash on
    gi5h0gjqwti1.jpg
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    BogartBogart Streetwise Hercules Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited March 2011
    Whine and whinge are pronounced differently. They are two different words, albeit ones that mean practically the same thing.

    Whine is like 'wine' and whinge is like 'hinge'.

    Bogart on
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    MikeManMikeMan Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side." is a joke about subverting expectations. The expected answer is to provide some motivation or goal for the chicken that the chicken would have upon reaching the other side of the road. One is expecting to be given in the punchline a revelation of the chicken's ultimate intentions. One instead is given the trivially true outcome of the chicken's action.

    This has been another edition of Overly Explained Jokes (tm), featuring MikeMan.

    MikeMan on
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    Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    edited March 2011
    Bama wrote: »
    Kagera wrote: »
    My cats have never really been that annoying. In fact they've mostly hung out on their own and if they needed something they'd come and the worst they'd do is rub their face into me and purr.

    Oh sure if they were hungry enough then one would start jumping on me and get my attention by blocking my view but fuck when I was a kid I did that to my mother and I bet you did too.
    I've never even met your mother.

    oh his mother was incredibly easy to shake down for candy

    didn't even have to throw a tantrum or turn on the charm

    you just had to look at that bag of gummi bears and pow you were rolling in gummi goodness

    Irond Will on
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    GooeyGooey (\/)┌¶─¶┐(\/) pinch pinchRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    man what are you talking about

    ties are awesome

    Gooey on
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    FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Ellie has not yet learned that she can't be right in front of the monitor watching it.

    Kira learned that a long time ago. I gave her a little padded kitty bed on my desk so she has someplace to be when I'm on the computer.

    149213_10150092508761967_586946966_7152696_2307353_n.jpg

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
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    KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Kagera on
    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
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    amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    MikeMan wrote: »
    "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side." is a joke about subverting expectations. The expected answer is to provide some motivation or goal for the chicken that the chicken would have upon reaching the other side of the road. One is expecting to be given in the punchline a revelation of the chicken's ultimate intentions. One instead is given the trivially true outcome of the chicken's action.

    This has been another edition of Overly Explained Jokes (tm), featuring MikeMan.

    Yeah well that's like your opinion man....

    amateurhour on
    are YOU on the beer list?
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    simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a difference today, a differenceRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Bogart wrote: »
    Whine and whinge are pronounced differently. They are two different words, albeit ones that mean practically the same thing.

    Whine is like 'wine' and whinge is like 'hinge'.

    yes this exactly

    they're whinging poms, not whining poms

    simonwolf on
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    SheepSheep Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2011
    If Charlie Sheen can look like the old drunk pervert from The Souf, wave machetes around, and routinely beat women, and still go to bed between two porn stars.

    I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

    Sheep on
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    Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    edited March 2011
    Take the cat and throw it in the garbage.

    Problem solved!

    i like to ask frankie hypothetical questions

    like

    "do you think a cat would survive a 'delicate' cycle in the dishwasher?"

    or

    "do you think there's enough room in the fridge drawer to fit a medium-sized cat?"

    Irond Will on
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    BamaBama Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Whenever people discuss terrible jokes I always feel obligated to share the best joke ever.

    There were two muffins sitting in an oven. The first muffin says "boy, it sure is hot in here!" and the second muffin turns and says "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

    Bama on
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    RiemannLivesRiemannLives Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Sheep wrote: »
    If Charlie Sheen can look like the old drunk pervert from The Souf, wave machetes around, and routinely beat women, and still go to bed between two porn stars.

    I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

    Isn't it kind of a tautology that anyone with a camera and a couple grand can go to bed between two porn stars?

    RiemannLives on
    Attacked by tweeeeeeees!
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    BogartBogart Streetwise Hercules Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited March 2011
    Sheep wrote: »
    If Charlie Sheen can look like the old drunk pervert from The Souf, wave machetes around, and routinely beat women, and still go to bed between two porn stars.

    I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

    Replace 'Charlie Sheen' with 'random multi-millionaire celebrity'. It's good to be the king. Or the republican equivalent.

    Bogart on
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    amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Bama wrote: »
    Whenever people discuss terrible jokes I always feel obligated to share the best joke ever.

    There were two muffins sitting in an oven. The first muffin says "boy, it sure is hot in here!" and the second muffin turns and says "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

    My wife told me that on like our third or fourth date and it was one of the principal reasons I fell in love with her.

    That and her boobs

    amateurhour on
    are YOU on the beer list?
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    Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    edited March 2011
    Bama wrote: »
    Will, I now know what I'm doing over spring break.

    make sure to switch arms and change up your wind-up so you don't burn out from tendonitis before you hit yorkshire

    Irond Will on
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    KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Bama wrote: »
    Whenever people discuss terrible jokes I always feel obligated to share the best joke ever.

    There were two muffins sitting in an oven. The first muffin says "boy, it sure is hot in here!" and the second muffin turns and says "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

    Then the first muffin says "I'm not a muffin I'm a Jew and so are you!"

    And that's the ending to "Life is Beautiful".

    Kagera on
    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
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    Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    edited March 2011
    I'd like to go back in time, meet the asshole that invented the necktie, and punch him/her in the taint...

    you know... since we're talkin' bout taint punching

    ties are fantastic

    for grown-ups i mean

    Irond Will on
    Wqdwp8l.png
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    OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited March 2011
    Kagera wrote: »

    this is obviously terrible but one thing in the article confused me
    i thought legal and medical confidentiality bonds were severable in cases where a life is/was in danger. so if the law unfortunately says the fetus is a life, wouldn't the nurse's admission then be legally allowable

    Organichu on
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    simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a difference today, a differenceRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I wish I had more excuses to wear a tie and not look like a ponce

    simonwolf on
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    PasserbyePasserbye I am much older than you. in Beach CityRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    So many earrings. So many...

    Passerbye on
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    amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    The only time I like wearing a tie is when I can wear it a little loose to go for that "I don't give a shit" look...

    I like suits, I just hate neckties

    amateurhour on
    are YOU on the beer list?
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    BogartBogart Streetwise Hercules Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited March 2011
    Ties are pretty great. A friend of mine used to run a company that made ties, all handmade, all from her own designs. I still have about seven of hers in the wardrobe.

    I kind of missing not wearing a tie for work.

    Bogart on
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    Donkey KongDonkey Kong Putting Nintendo out of business with AI nips Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Kagera wrote: »
    Bama wrote: »
    Whenever people discuss terrible jokes I always feel obligated to share the best joke ever.

    There were two muffins sitting in an oven. The first muffin says "boy, it sure is hot in here!" and the second muffin turns and says "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

    Then the first muffin says "I'm not a muffin I'm a Jew and so are you!"

    And that's the ending to "Life is Beautiful".

    booooooooooooo

    Donkey Kong on
    Thousands of hot, local singles are waiting to play at bubbulon.com.
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    Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    edited March 2011
    Bama wrote: »
    Whenever people discuss terrible jokes I always feel obligated to share the best joke ever.

    There were two muffins sitting in an oven. The first muffin says "boy, it sure is hot in here!" and the second muffin turns and says "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

    my brother has one of these that takes like twenty minutes to tell and is about horse brothers and ends with basically the same punchline

    i tried it out on frankie and after like one minute she was no longer listening and started doing something else

    so the joke was on me

    Irond Will on
    Wqdwp8l.png
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    BamaBama Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    ties are a goddamn safety liability

    Bama on
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    Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    edited March 2011
    Kagera wrote: »
    Bama wrote: »
    Whenever people discuss terrible jokes I always feel obligated to share the best joke ever.

    There were two muffins sitting in an oven. The first muffin says "boy, it sure is hot in here!" and the second muffin turns and says "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

    Then the first muffin says "I'm not a muffin I'm a Jew and so are you!"

    And that's the ending to "Life is Beautiful".

    herrs branstein und muffberg

    Irond Will on
    Wqdwp8l.png
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    simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a difference today, a differenceRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    The only time I like wearing a tie is when I can wear it a little loose to go for that "I don't give a shit" look...

    I like suits, I just hate neckties

    See, I really like suits and neckties

    I currently do not own a suit because my weight has fluctuated so much in the past few years, it has basically shut down the majority of my wardrobe

    need to get a new suit, wear it, put on a tie

    simonwolf on
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    BamaBama Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Irond Will wrote: »
    Bama wrote: »
    Whenever people discuss terrible jokes I always feel obligated to share the best joke ever.

    There were two muffins sitting in an oven. The first muffin says "boy, it sure is hot in here!" and the second muffin turns and says "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

    my brother has one of these that takes like twenty minutes to tell and is about horse brothers and ends with basically the same punchline

    i tried it out on frankie and after like one minute she was no longer listening and started doing something else

    so the joke was on me
    shaggy dog stories are one of those gags that let's people really ham it up ad-libbing. It's like The Aristocrats only people hate you afterward.

    Bama on
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    Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    edited March 2011
    Bama wrote: »
    ties are a goddamn safety liability

    it's true!

    someone might mistake you for a grown-up

    Irond Will on
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    HaphazardHaphazard Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    If you want to blame the people responsible for the whole necktie thing, you should blame the Croatians.

    Haphazard on
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    SheepSheep Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2011
    Bama wrote: »
    Whenever people discuss terrible jokes I always feel obligated to share the best joke ever.

    There were two muffins sitting in an oven. The first muffin says "boy, it sure is hot in here!" and the second muffin turns and says "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

    I was told that by a girlfriend once.

    I should have known she was crazy. I dumped her, her and her mom begged me to reconsider, I did, and two weeks later she cheated on me because "it just wasn't working out".


    Ooooookaaaaay.

    Sheep on
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    Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    edited March 2011
    Haphazard wrote: »
    If you want to blame the people responsible for the whole necktie thing, you should blame the Croatians.

    i don't know that it's possible to punish the croats any more than they've already been punished

    Irond Will on
    Wqdwp8l.png
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    BamaBama Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Irond Will wrote: »
    Bama wrote: »
    ties are a goddamn safety liability

    it's true!

    someone might mistake you for a grown-up

    and placing that level of trust in someone like me is an enormous hazard, yes

    Bama on
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    RiemannLivesRiemannLives Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Irond Will wrote: »
    Bama wrote: »
    Whenever people discuss terrible jokes I always feel obligated to share the best joke ever.

    There were two muffins sitting in an oven. The first muffin says "boy, it sure is hot in here!" and the second muffin turns and says "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

    my brother has one of these that takes like twenty minutes to tell and is about horse brothers and ends with basically the same punchline

    i tried it out on frankie and after like one minute she was no longer listening and started doing something else

    so the joke was on me

    The best "slow build up" joke I've heard was over an hour long, involved lots of math and was told in a lecture I have the mp3 of by Richard Feynman. I tried to re-tell it a while back but its hard to capure his style: http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showpost.php?p=11348137&postcount=1084

    RiemannLives on
    Attacked by tweeeeeeees!
This discussion has been closed.