I think my parents are cooler with the notion of bi/homosexuality now that it is becoming more socially acceptable.
Neither my brothers nor I are gay or bisexual, but when I'd have hypothetical conversations with my parents about, they'd always cite social avenues as their reasons that it would be "upsetting".
My mom used to say if I was gay it would make her sad, not because there was anything wrong with it, but because she'd want me to know the happiness of getting married or having a child. And that she'd hate to see me be persecuted. This was before gay people adopting and states legalizing gay marriage, so Im sure shed be p cool about now.
My parents kind of own.
2/3 of the people who raised me are fine with homosexuality in theory, those being my mom and grandma. I think any aspect of myself that deviates too far from what my mom expects me to become, however, is upsetting to her, and has in the past prompted her to outright reject the reality of it.
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ThomamelasOnly one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered Userregular
I have a friend who's convinced I'm attracted to him. He's a huge homophobe, but the ironic thing is I think, I think, he might have a crush on me that he refuses to acknowledge.
Or possibly my powers as the Crush Whisperer only work when people are crushing on people who aren't me.
i don't really see that as the same thing. holding hands or basic affectionate gestures are appropriate to polite society, and i would include gay dudes holding hands in public as being under that umbrella.
talking explicitly about sexual acts or encounters in mixed company is inappropriate and disrespectful whether you're straight or gay or a swinger or whatever else.
Will, the problem is in the phrase "social niceties," which is ambiguous and doesn't have a universal definition. I mean, what is a social nicety to you is not necessarily a social nicety to someone else, and you might be personally accepting of some public behaviors that others might not - I guarantee you there are some people that find even holding hands in public to be beyond the pale.
I mean, you can only really judge by your own compass, but those compasses are not necessarily synchronized among all of society.
edit: In other words, you can't please everyone. Shouldn't really try to. Though I would agree there are some universal limits. You shouldn't bend your girlfriend over your Applebee's booth and start fucking her in front of everyone else, for instance. I think we can all agree on that. (Unless she's really hot.)
it's true that people are going to have different standards and probably always have. i get the sense that the very concept of "politeness" is kind of under fire or being dismissed by groups who i kind of see as radical individualists, sometimes on this board. it strikes me that some of the these people are putting forward the position that free expression should be unfettered by social convention in as broad an arena as possible.
probably one of the reasons that i kind of cling to and advocate for somewhat stricter and more universal social standards is that i see that kind of nihilism as socially destructive and ultimately destroys the ability to successfully communicate. social standards exist so that we can successfully live among other people.
I started to type up a big post here because I think there's a lot to say about social norms but I don't think I really want to go into it all here. I think, by and large, social norms are either arbitrary or semi-arbitrary. For instance, "don't wear hats indoors" is totally arbitrary, at least in modern application. "No elbows on the dinner table" is semi-arbitrary because one could make a case that technically elbows could damage a dinner table, but it's pretty unlikely to happen unless your forget to take your bladed gauntlets off before sitting down to eat (hell, maybe that's where the rule came from).
When you start talking about sex, well, think about a world where everyone spoke about sex publicly. Would that world be fundamentally worse than this one? It would be different, and I don't claim to be able to predict either the ramifications of that society, or what that aspect of society might communicate about a society that acts that way. But I can't dismiss it as being fundamentally worse. So, in a way, an aversion to public displays of affection, or sex as a common topic, or bowel movements, is somewhat arbitrary. You can't really be faulted, though, for harboring these aversions because they developed as a part of your upbringing and adult life within these arbitrary social norms. So even though they are primarily arbitrary, they are also inherently personal.
So my opinion toward politeness and social norms is that we should try to respect each other as much as possible, especially in public, but we should also not put too many limiters on each other if we can help it. A balance between freedom and politeness - not too far in either direction. And where that line is, is totally fluid and contextual. As someone else said, two people talking about sex in private is totally different from a bunch of bros sitting around the bar in Chilis shouting out sex and poop stories.
well, i agree that most social rules are fundamentally arbitrary and that other sets of equally arbitrary rules could be generally substituted with no ill effects.
but i also think that arbitrary rules are necessary to a cleanly-functioning society. by way of analogy, i'd cite traffic rules. there's no reason why people couldn't drive on the left side of the road, and in societies where they do it works just fine. but unless everyone is following the same set of arbitrary rules, it's difficult to really get anywhere.
Fair enough, but I'd say that's only semi-arbitrary. A set of rules for traffic were needed. The decision between left and right was arbitrary, and remains so, but for safety and practicality, adherence to those rules is required for society to function.
The same cannot be said for wearing hats indoors or, really, talking about sex in public. I don't mean to discount that people have a right to some comfort, but I don't feel that everyone has a right to total comfort in public. I'm just curious if that's how you feel...like, do you feel entitled to zero uncomfortability while in public? I'm not getting at you - I'm just curious. When I go out in public, I expect I won't be comfortable with everything I see and encounter, especially in New York City. I mean...there's just no way that'll ever happen. The question is how much we need to adapt to fit into each others' comfort zones.
I know that a rule like "do not wear a hat indoors if you are male" is arbitrary, but for some reason it really annoys me when guys do this. And when it comes to talking about sex in public, I think a lot of it comes to down to the fact that I really don't care about random person A's sex life, and if I can hear them talking about it then I really don't think that is appropriate.
I don't expect to feel comfortable in every situation, but I really don't think it's wrong for me to expect people to behave in a certain fashion when in public (and I really don't think my expectations are particularly strict or conservative).
I mean, I don't really care about random person A's new job or their cousin's baby either.
It really boils down to what you're comfortable about yourself.
Also I don't mind remaining blithely ignorant to social rules like removing your hat and I kind of suspect that rules like that will probably just die out over time.
That didn't take nearly long enough but I think I'm a little over 100
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
The Persuit of Happyness
Taken
Flight of the Navigator
Star Wars IV-VI
Bevery Hills Cop 1 and 2
Cowboy Bebop the Movie
Princess Mononoke
Spirited Away
Vampire Hunter Bloodlust
Second Hand Lions
South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut
Team America
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
The Great Outdoors
My Blue Heaven
Wayne's World 1 and 2
Alien, Aliens and Alien 3 ...acutally I'm gonna put in Alien Resurrection too because watching it after seeing all the behinds the scenes stuff in the Quadrilogy it's a much more interesting film. :P
Pirates of the Carribean trilogy (no two and three weren't great overall but it's more Jack Sparrow so I can't help but enjoy them)
How to Train Your Dragon
Ghost in the Shell
Wall-E
Legend of the Guardians (which was surprisingly enjoyable)
The Goonies
Monty Python: Meaning of Life, Life of Brian and The Holy Grail
Lethal Weapon I-IV
Braveheart (remember when Gibson was a closet anti-semite? Ah those were the days)
Batman Begins and the Dark Knight
Transformers
Indiana Jones I-III
Back to the Future series
Avatar
District 9
A Fistful of Dollars
Last Man Standing
The Long Kiss Goodnight
Pulp Fiction
Kill Bill vol. 1 and 2
Resivour Dogs
The Men Who Stare at Goats
Austin Powers
Jackie Brown
Meet Joe Black
Inglorious Bastards
Terminator 2
The Whole Nine Yards
American Gangster
American History X
Ong Bak
Fight Club
Blow
From Dusk 'till Dawn
Goodfellas
Casino
Ocean's 11
Burn After Reading
Ghostbusters
Scrooged
A Muppet Christmas Carol
Die Hard and Die Hard with a Vengeance
American Psycho
Toy Story
What Dreams May Come
Heat
Serenity
The Matrix
X-Men 1 and 2
Spiderman
The Watchmen
Iron Man 1 and 2
The Incredible Hulk
Happy Gilmore Mr Deeds and of course Billy Madison
Ong Bak
Spaceballs
Robin Hood: Men in Tights
Blazing Saddles
History of the World: Part I
Patch Adams
Man on Fire
The Wrestler
I could keep going but I'd have probably have to start looking up titles before much longer to make sure I'm getting them right :P
Yep, you listed at least 4 movies that I should have put on my list but could not remember.
That's...that's a list of bands.
Movies, Drez :P
Did you guys pull a trick on me? I thought he was quoting Tav, who listed bands. Or am I going mental?
I posted my list few posts under Tav I think
MyDcmbr and I were trying to come up with 100(ish) movies that we could name off the top of our heads that we actually enjoyed.
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Irond WillWARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!!Cambridge. MAModeratormod
I know that a rule like "do not wear a hat indoors if you are male" is arbitrary, but for some reason it really annoys me when guys do this. And when it comes to talking about sex in public, I think a lot of it comes to down to the fact that I really don't care about random person A's sex life, and if I can hear them talking about it then I really don't think that is appropriate.
I don't expect to feel comfortable in every situation, but I really don't think it's wrong for me to expect people to behave in a certain fashion when in public (and I really don't think my expectations are particularly strict or conservative).
bumps, cesca
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Powerpuppiesdrinking coffee in themountain cabinRegistered Userregular
I mean, I don't really care about random person A's new job or their cousin's baby either.
It really boils down to what you're comfortable about yourself.
Also I don't mind remaining blithely ignorant to social rules like removing your hat and I kind of suspect that rules like that will probably just die out over time.
So if someone told you that it bothered them when you wore your hat indoors, would you humor them or stand on principle?
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CindersWhose sails were black when it was windyRegistered Userregular
The worst assumption that a parent... shit, that anyone can make make after one comes out is that you immediately want to put your penis in/wrap your vagina around every single person who happens to be the same gender as you.
Which is, of course, absolute bollocks.
If your vagina is stretchy or loose enough to actually wrap around a person, you have far bigger issues than your parents suspecting you're gay.
well, i agree that most social rules are fundamentally arbitrary and that other sets of equally arbitrary rules could be generally substituted with no ill effects.
but i also think that arbitrary rules are necessary to a cleanly-functioning society. by way of analogy, i'd cite traffic rules. there's no reason why people couldn't drive on the left side of the road, and in societies where they do it works just fine. but unless everyone is following the same set of arbitrary rules, it's difficult to really get anywhere.
Fair enough, but I'd say that's only semi-arbitrary. A set of rules for traffic were needed. The decision between left and right was arbitrary, and remains so, but for safety and practicality, adherence to those rules is required for society to function.
The same cannot be said for wearing hats indoors or, really, talking about sex in public. I don't mean to discount that people have a right to some comfort, but I don't feel that everyone has a right to total comfort in public. I'm just curious if that's how you feel...like, do you feel entitled to zero uncomfortability while in public? I'm not getting at you - I'm just curious. When I go out in public, I expect I won't be comfortable with everything I see and encounter, especially in New York City. I mean...there's just no way that'll ever happen. The question is how much we need to adapt to fit into each others' comfort zones.
i don't really see it as "keeping people from being uncomfortable" necessarily, but just as a set of coda that let you know how to confidently proceed in social interactions. i do scowl a little when i see people wearing their hats in a restaurant, but it doesn't really make me uncomfortable so much as i see it as a little disrespectful to the establishment and think it kind of speaks ill of the individual in question.
for the record, i found new yorkers to be surprisingly polite! except for the bus drivers. they were rude as shit.
Don't even get me started on bus drivers.
I've been:
a) Physically threatened by a bus driver to the point where other passengers had to get in between us. He was most likely trying to goad me into attacking him, because that's a felony, and he gets like unlimited time off for being attacked by a passenger. All this because he was the last express bus out of the city and was going on 25-30 minutes late, so I called the depot to find out if it was still coming and probably got in trouble for sitting around instead of driving his bus. He knew I was the one that called because I told them what stop I was on, and he starts talking about my mother and whatnot.
b) Almost run over by a bus driver (I think it was an accident).
c) Threatened by a bus driver that he would call the police on me if I did not get off his bus, because I brought Chicken McNuggets on the bus. This is AFTER I already paid $5.50 for the ride AND was prominently displaying the McDonald's bag while entering the bus and paying. He actually stopped the bus and got out. And started calling dispatch and then threatened to call the police. I refused and told him to go ahead and call the police so he could explain to them that he stopped the bus and called the police because someone brought chicken nuggets on the bus and he didn't like the smell. Of course he didn't call the police and eventually starting driving the bus again.
I have a friend who's convinced I'm attracted to him. He's a huge homophobe, but the ironic thing is I think, I think, he might have a crush on me that he refuses to acknowledge.
Or possibly my powers as the Crush Whisperer only work when people are crushing on people who aren't me.
Isn't this the setup for American Beauty?
American Beauty:
Plastic bag + pretentiousness.
The end.
*applause* *academy awards*
Yo dog Kevin Spacey's performance in American Beauty was bonkers.
I don't wear hats but if I did I wouldn't feel any real need to take it off in a restaurant... social norms are different in different places. So if someone came from a more permissive place than I did and did annoying shit, I would forgive them once I learned they came from a place where that was okay, but I would expect them to act as expected as long as they were in my neck of the woods. So if I went to Boston and was wearing a hat I would try to remember to remove it while in a restaurant.
To me half the attraction of wearing hats and various other "old-fashioned" articles comes from those mannerisms and rules. Like wearing a jacket, I got a lot of enjoyment out of watching Boston Legal: Alan always closes 1 button on his jacket whenever he's standing up and will put it open again when he's sitting down. This is something I kept track of, he never ever forgets this. I really wonder if this was part of the character he plays or if he's like that in Real Life as well.
I am pretty disappointed when I see a dude wearing a hat and not taking it off when inside. There was a bloke at a birthday and he kept his hat on the whole time. I just couldn't take him seriously. Clearly he thought hats were the bees knees, but why would he wear a hat indoors?
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Irond WillWARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!!Cambridge. MAModeratormod
I mean, I don't really care about random person A's new job or their cousin's baby either.
It really boils down to what you're comfortable about yourself.
Also I don't mind remaining blithely ignorant to social rules like removing your hat and I kind of suspect that rules like that will probably just die out over time.
possibly, but in the meantime there are going to be some people who are just going to think that you're kind of an ignorant ass before you even meet them.
and i mean i guess you could say "i wouldn't want those kinds of people who care about social rules to like me anyways" but i don't think that really expresses an understanding of how many or what kinds of people care about social rules to at least some extent.
some social rules are incredibly important. for instance, refusing a handshake is the height of rudeness. it can start fights! do you really not want to not be aware of this?
I mean, I don't really care about random person A's new job or their cousin's baby either.
It really boils down to what you're comfortable about yourself.
Also I don't mind remaining blithely ignorant to social rules like removing your hat and I kind of suspect that rules like that will probably just die out over time.
So if someone told you that it bothered them when you wore your hat indoors, would you humor them or stand on principle?
I would humor them.
I mean, if anyone actually told me that something I did was bothering them I would probably appease them unless it was an unreasonable demand.
To change the subject away from bisexual pooping, I'd like to say that the Doctor Who series 5 soundtrack sound is wonderful. Love it. "I Am The Doctor" is such a perfect piece of music, but the entire score is just... beautiful. Stunning. Murray Gold's finest work on the show yet.
I have a friend who's convinced I'm attracted to him. He's a huge homophobe, but the ironic thing is I think, I think, he might have a crush on me that he refuses to acknowledge.
Or possibly my powers as the Crush Whisperer only work when people are crushing on people who aren't me.
Isn't this the setup for American Beauty?
American Beauty:
Plastic bag + pretentiousness.
The end.
*applause* *academy awards*
Yo dog Kevin Spacey's performance in American Beauty was bonkers.
Yo I'mma let you finish, but Chris Cooper was one of the best closeted homophobes of all time.
Man my only experience with a bus driver was the lady who was driving the bus we took to get back to where we parked after the Vikings played the Seahawks in preseason this past year.
She was a little crazy but in the overly nice way and was super helpful in giving us directions and whatnot.
I have a friend who's convinced I'm attracted to him. He's a huge homophobe, but the ironic thing is I think, I think, he might have a crush on me that he refuses to acknowledge.
Or possibly my powers as the Crush Whisperer only work when people are crushing on people who aren't me.
Isn't this the setup for American Beauty?
American Beauty:
Plastic bag + pretentiousness.
The end.
*applause* *academy awards*
Yo dog Kevin Spacey's performance in American Beauty was bonkers.
Yo I'mma let you finish, but Chris Cooper was one of the best closeted homophobes of all time.
some social rules are incredibly important. for instance, refusing a handshake is the height of rudeness. it can start fights! do you really not want to not be aware of this?
I have been sick for a couple weeks and refusing handshakes. It is so lame and embarrassing every time.
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CindersWhose sails were black when it was windyRegistered Userregular
edited March 2011
I stare down other peoples handshake. Cause they're jerks.
I mean, I don't really care about random person A's new job or their cousin's baby either.
It really boils down to what you're comfortable about yourself.
Also I don't mind remaining blithely ignorant to social rules like removing your hat and I kind of suspect that rules like that will probably just die out over time.
possibly, but in the meantime there are going to be some people who are just going to think that you're kind of an ignorant ass before you even meet them.
and i mean i guess you could say "i wouldn't want those kinds of people who care about social rules to like me anyways" but i don't think that really expresses an understanding of how many or what kinds of people care about social rules to at least some extent.
some social rules are incredibly important. for instance, refusing a handshake is the height of rudeness. it can start fights! do you really not want to not be aware of this?
I am so in the habit of handshakes that a lot of times even if my good friends come over I will shake their hands. Sometimes at work my boss will be like "hey man, how's it hanging?" and our arms will extend and I will go in handshake-grip ready and he will go for a fistbump and it is sooooo awkward.
I mean, I don't really care about random person A's new job or their cousin's baby either.
It really boils down to what you're comfortable about yourself.
Also I don't mind remaining blithely ignorant to social rules like removing your hat and I kind of suspect that rules like that will probably just die out over time.
possibly, but in the meantime there are going to be some people who are just going to think that you're kind of an ignorant ass before you even meet them.
and i mean i guess you could say "i wouldn't want those kinds of people who care about social rules to like me anyways" but i don't think that really expresses an understanding of how many or what kinds of people care about social rules to at least some extent.
some social rules are incredibly important. for instance, refusing a handshake is the height of rudeness. it can start fights! do you really not want to not be aware of this?
I find that there are just a number of details of politeness that are so variable I have no idea what's expected of me in a lot of situations, and I really don't care enough about stepping on people's toes about minor things to go out of my way to preempt something like that.
Perhaps offering a handshake to someone is the polite thing to do, but to a particular individual it makes them extremely uncomfortable, or in a particular culture or subculture it is seen as impolite. Maybe in the situations you commonly find yourself there's an easy to follow code but I don't tend to find that.
some social rules are incredibly important. for instance, refusing a handshake is the height of rudeness. it can start fights! do you really not want to not be aware of this?
Ahahahaha
This remindes me of the time I was introduced to a friend's boyfriend who was up from Minneapolis.
He extended his hand upon being introduced and I just stared at him for a moment, then looked at his hand and then looked back at his face with a disdainful "Really?" expression.
Then I grinned and shook his hand.
The amount of tension that built in the roughly five seconds it took to do that was amazing.
Everyone, including the guy in question, was pretty much in tears from laughter.
Oh by the way, kids, take note here. I told my co-workers I determined my level of teasing on how much sex I thought they were having. If I thought someone was getting laid erryday I would tease them more and I'd be nice to people whose love life is best described by America's Horse With No Name.
It works out perfectly: the people I tease are happy because they know I think they have loads of sex and the people I don't tease are glad I'm nice to them.
Oh by the way, kids, take note here. I told my co-workers I determined my level of teasing on how much sex I thought they were having. If I thought someone was getting laid erryday I would tease them more and I'd be nice to people whose love life is best described by America's Horse With No Name.
It works out perfectly: the people I tease are happy because they know I think they have loads of sex and the people I don't tease are glad I'm nice to them.
Wow, here in America you'd get hanged by a firing squad for that kind of thing.
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Powerpuppiesdrinking coffee in themountain cabinRegistered Userregular
edited March 2011
the only area of social norms in which i have encountered variable is in chivalry (men waiting on women). Every other area has pretty standard rules where the more polite option is abundantly clear, and the only possible discussion would be how big a deal it is if someone does the less polite thing out of laziness or carelessness.
Oh by the way, kids, take note here. I told my co-workers I determined my level of teasing on how much sex I thought they were having. If I thought someone was getting laid erryday I would tease them more and I'd be nice to people whose love life is best described by America's Horse With No Name.
It works out perfectly: the people I tease are happy because they know I think they have loads of sex and the people I don't tease are glad I'm nice to them.
Maybe it works the other way around, and the people that you tease get laid more because of it.
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BobCescaIs a girlBirmingham, UKRegistered Userregular
some social rules are incredibly important. for instance, refusing a handshake is the height of rudeness. it can start fights! do you really not want to not be aware of this?
I have been sick for a couple weeks and refusing handshakes. It is so lame and embarrassing every time.
Most awkward situation ever was when a couple of my Mum's colleagues from India came to the UK when I was 14 or so. I knew that one of them would shake hands but the other wouldn't (hands are for eating or pooping so there's no shaking of hands for cleanliness reasons), but her descriptions of which one would and which one wouldn't was really bad and I ended up in that uncomfortable half-way to handshake when realising the other person isn't reciprocating thing.
Luckily the other guy was much more outgoing and kinda stepped forward, shook my hand, and let me get over my embarrassment.
Posts
I like the mentally-challenged dog ones because they remind me so much of Benny.
I think the pain I've been having from the inside of my mouth is some kind of dysplastic infected growth. It looks pretty bad.
I think I might go to A&E just to get it checked out considering I'm going to Mallorca on Monday.
2/3 of the people who raised me are fine with homosexuality in theory, those being my mom and grandma. I think any aspect of myself that deviates too far from what my mom expects me to become, however, is upsetting to her, and has in the past prompted her to outright reject the reality of it.
Like any individuals it depends on our fiber levels.
American Beauty:
Plastic bag + pretentiousness.
The end.
*applause* *academy awards*
Actually...
I mean, I don't really care about random person A's new job or their cousin's baby either.
It really boils down to what you're comfortable about yourself.
Also I don't mind remaining blithely ignorant to social rules like removing your hat and I kind of suspect that rules like that will probably just die out over time.
I posted my list few posts under Tav I think
MyDcmbr and I were trying to come up with 100(ish) movies that we could name off the top of our heads that we actually enjoyed.
bumps, cesca
So if someone told you that it bothered them when you wore your hat indoors, would you humor them or stand on principle?
It hungers!
Negative: It's walleye so I can't just devour it and have to actually pay watch out for bones.
Don't even get me started on bus drivers.
I've been:
a) Physically threatened by a bus driver to the point where other passengers had to get in between us. He was most likely trying to goad me into attacking him, because that's a felony, and he gets like unlimited time off for being attacked by a passenger. All this because he was the last express bus out of the city and was going on 25-30 minutes late, so I called the depot to find out if it was still coming and probably got in trouble for sitting around instead of driving his bus. He knew I was the one that called because I told them what stop I was on, and he starts talking about my mother and whatnot.
b) Almost run over by a bus driver (I think it was an accident).
c) Threatened by a bus driver that he would call the police on me if I did not get off his bus, because I brought Chicken McNuggets on the bus. This is AFTER I already paid $5.50 for the ride AND was prominently displaying the McDonald's bag while entering the bus and paying. He actually stopped the bus and got out. And started calling dispatch and then threatened to call the police. I refused and told him to go ahead and call the police so he could explain to them that he stopped the bus and called the police because someone brought chicken nuggets on the bus and he didn't like the smell. Of course he didn't call the police and eventually starting driving the bus again.
I have dozens of other stories. Bunch of tools.
Yo dog Kevin Spacey's performance in American Beauty was bonkers.
I am pretty disappointed when I see a dude wearing a hat and not taking it off when inside. There was a bloke at a birthday and he kept his hat on the whole time. I just couldn't take him seriously. Clearly he thought hats were the bees knees, but why would he wear a hat indoors?
possibly, but in the meantime there are going to be some people who are just going to think that you're kind of an ignorant ass before you even meet them.
and i mean i guess you could say "i wouldn't want those kinds of people who care about social rules to like me anyways" but i don't think that really expresses an understanding of how many or what kinds of people care about social rules to at least some extent.
some social rules are incredibly important. for instance, refusing a handshake is the height of rudeness. it can start fights! do you really not want to not be aware of this?
I would humor them.
I mean, if anyone actually told me that something I did was bothering them I would probably appease them unless it was an unreasonable demand.
Yo I'mma let you finish, but Chris Cooper was one of the best closeted homophobes of all time.
She was a little crazy but in the overly nice way and was super helpful in giving us directions and whatnot.
Possibly having hair issues.
On days when mine is being sufficiently fine that it won't stay tied back the easiest thing to do is stuff it in a beanie.
I have been sick for a couple weeks and refusing handshakes. It is so lame and embarrassing every time.
I am so in the habit of handshakes that a lot of times even if my good friends come over I will shake their hands. Sometimes at work my boss will be like "hey man, how's it hanging?" and our arms will extend and I will go in handshake-grip ready and he will go for a fistbump and it is sooooo awkward.
I find that there are just a number of details of politeness that are so variable I have no idea what's expected of me in a lot of situations, and I really don't care enough about stepping on people's toes about minor things to go out of my way to preempt something like that.
Perhaps offering a handshake to someone is the polite thing to do, but to a particular individual it makes them extremely uncomfortable, or in a particular culture or subculture it is seen as impolite. Maybe in the situations you commonly find yourself there's an easy to follow code but I don't tend to find that.
Ahahahaha
This remindes me of the time I was introduced to a friend's boyfriend who was up from Minneapolis.
He extended his hand upon being introduced and I just stared at him for a moment, then looked at his hand and then looked back at his face with a disdainful "Really?" expression.
Then I grinned and shook his hand.
The amount of tension that built in the roughly five seconds it took to do that was amazing.
Everyone, including the guy in question, was pretty much in tears from laughter.
Nothing to talk about
It works out perfectly: the people I tease are happy because they know I think they have loads of sex and the people I don't tease are glad I'm nice to them.
Wow, here in America you'd get hanged by a firing squad for that kind of thing.
Maybe it works the other way around, and the people that you tease get laid more because of it.
Most awkward situation ever was when a couple of my Mum's colleagues from India came to the UK when I was 14 or so. I knew that one of them would shake hands but the other wouldn't (hands are for eating or pooping so there's no shaking of hands for cleanliness reasons), but her descriptions of which one would and which one wouldn't was really bad and I ended up in that uncomfortable half-way to handshake when realising the other person isn't reciprocating thing.
Luckily the other guy was much more outgoing and kinda stepped forward, shook my hand, and let me get over my embarrassment.
in these cases i look to will for guidance