Okay, so anonymous Internet people -- please don't make fun of me (or make fun of me but acknowledge the merit of what I am saying). I am at the end of my wits here.
I'm in a otherwise happy relationship with this girl for just about over a year. We're mostly intellectually, sexually, and emotionally compatible, but there is one catch. We're in the same department. Usually, this is a great thing, as most people are green with envy when they discover that I'm with a pretty and intelligent girl who is also into Y. Now, even before we were in a relationship I've noticed that she gets an excessive amount of attention from faculty and professional contacts in department Y. This always grated on me, but lately it's really been getting out of hand. Yes, since girls are really rare in the technical field Y, it is often the case that professors shower them with undue flattery and attention. Especially if they are bright, and even more so if they are private-schooled and know all the secret social cues to get ahead. But it's getting to the point where it's actually hindering my educational/professional progress and an already brittle emotional state.
Before you judge me as a jealous, chauvinist, negative nancy, please consider the following scenario:
1. We both enroll in class in department X which has a concentration in Y.
2. The class is comprised of weekly homework assignments. Since the class really is about Y, we both blaze through it with.
3. We work together on the homework at high level. So we figure out the solutions together, but then write them out separately.
4. As a result get very similar grades +/- 0.5 points out of ten, sometimes to my benefit and vice versa.
5. I find out the professor has an internship available over the summer for people to work in his lab.
6. We both sometimes engage in small talk after class with the professor, I sometimes approach him and ask engaging/smart questions about the HW and his research. (I guess you can't ascertain that, but trust from the grades I'm getting on the homework, I'm not saying anything dumb)
7. We both engage in small talk with him one time after class. He seems to mostly ignore my presence and focus just on her. He asks her what her plans are after she graduates, they have this inexplicable back and forth substance-less conversation about how wonderful she is (this is the subtext of the conversation, the details are tedious to reiterate). Then he asks her about her senior project (something everyone in department Y needs to do) and whether she'd like to do it with him (you usually need an advisor). Now, we already told him that we're doing a senior project together as a group. We remind him, but in response he asks her, in front of my fucking face, whether if it's too late to change her mind (I.E ditch this douche, and come work for me). When this little special moment ends, he begrudgingly asks me what I'm planning to do when I graduate, not leaving enough time to answer as we're walking with him and have just left the building.
8. I swallow my pride, and try to put this situation behind me (this takes a good few days to recover from).
9. Since I really need a job (I'm running out of money to pay for the last semester in college) I outright ask him if he's offering an internship this summer. He's kind of reluctant, but says something along the lines of "Oh yeah, I thought offering you or [girl's name] a job this summer, but I thought you were about to graduate." That made me feel a little bit better, as I thought he had some plausible deniability in thinking I was graduating (which I did tell him I was close to doing). I told him that I still had two more semesters to finish up, and that I'm really interested in taking that job. The conversation concluded with him saying that he's busy, but he'll get back to me in two weeks.
10. Okay good, feel a little better. Now I wait.
11. Two weeks pass. After class he asks my gf to come see him in his office, we're sure it's about the job.
12. Now I'm pretty sure we can both still get hired, as my gf would obviously want that as well, and there is enough funding to go around.
13. The Present : How am I supposed to feel about this situation? It's one thing if this was an uncommon occurrence, but it happens ALL THE FUCKING TIME. To the point where I can't get a job/internships/academic opportunities because of it.
tl;dr - I'm on the wrong side of constant favoritism for my gf in my department. It's a technical field, and technically we're equally qualified. It's making my life a living hell, because I want to be happy for my gf and not resent her. Is this sexism, and if so, what should I do?