SixCaches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhexRegistered Userregular
edited April 2011
You can still make the joke ("This time it will be a time and place of our choosing!") while also not being wishy-washy about asking her out.
If you specify a time and place, she now has to just say yes or no, rather than now do all the work of picking a place that you should have done in the first place. If she can't make that time or place, she can still accept and offer an alternative. Either way, you've taken initiative and made it far more likely she'll say yes.
If you can, nail down details. They may not login much, so you don't have the benefit of lots of back and forth. Don't necessarily do a specific time, but "hey, would you be interested in lunch this Friday? I know this nice Thai restraint near <place> that has really good food" or something like that.
I know I've had girls view messages form me in a much poorer light because I used one smiley.
Really? Did they say that to you directly? I'm not asking in a skeptical way, but genuinely curious how you came about this information.
Smileys are weird... they have a place, but then if a message is littered with them, I agree that it would come across as too immature. Or in some cases, as too weeaboo, in which case I'd run screaming.
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SixCaches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhexRegistered Userregular
I know I've had girls view messages form me in a much poorer light because I used one smiley.
Really? Did they say that to you directly? I'm not asking in a skeptical way, but genuinely curious how you came about this information.
Smileys are weird... they have a place, but then if a message is littered with them, I agree that it would come across as too immature. Or in some cases, as too weeaboo, in which case I'd run screaming.
In the two instances I'm remembering, the rest of my message was enough for a reply, but both times the fact that I'd used smilies came up in conversation and it was made clear it was a major strike against me.
I think this might very well be a generational thing (I'm 32 now), but I think you're right - there's a big difference between a single and a bunch of them, especially if they're of the incomprehensible weeaboo sort. But that's just me.
What I found, though, is if a girl tended to use a lot of smilies that she was overcompensating for a little bit of insecurity, either in her confidence in how she was communicating or in herself in general. It's easier to just say lol than try and actually type something interesting or informative.
In online dating, as in most things, the hard choice is usually the better one. It's harder to write an engaging, interesting message or IM that doesn't use smilies than it is to be lazy and drop them in. The hard choice is better, I find (well, found with regard to OKC as I'm not using it any more).
I know I've had girls view messages form me in a much poorer light because I used one smiley.
Really? Did they say that to you directly? I'm not asking in a skeptical way, but genuinely curious how you came about this information.
Smileys are weird... they have a place, but then if a message is littered with them, I agree that it would come across as too immature. Or in some cases, as too weeaboo, in which case I'd run screaming.
I've noticed more than a few women in my age range (I'm mid 30s, looking for late 20s to late 30s) who are huge on no smilies, no "lol" grammar fiends. Personally, I think they need to unclench a little, everything in moderation.
I know I've had girls view messages form me in a much poorer light because I used one smiley.
Smileys are weird... they have a place, but then if a message is littered with them, I agree that it would come across as too immature. Or in some cases, as too weeaboo, in which case I'd run screaming.
Back when I was doing the online dating thing I got chatting to this girl who seemed fairly interesting from her profile (ok, not that interesting but pickings were slim in my area) and EVERY thing I said to her would be answered by:
it made conversation near impossible. I actually went on a date with her and she was one of the most miserable people I've ever met, she didn't smile once.
My ex has a habit of adding XD faces to things but only when he's making a dickish or sarcastic comment. It's super annoying. I don't mind XD or faces when there's a genuine meaning behind it, but when someone only uses them when they're being disingenuous, pass me that hammer.
I know I've had girls view messages form me in a much poorer light because I used one smiley.
Smileys are weird... they have a place, but then if a message is littered with them, I agree that it would come across as too immature. Or in some cases, as too weeaboo, in which case I'd run screaming.
Back when I was doing the online dating thing I got chatting to this girl who seemed fairly interesting from her profile (ok, not that interesting but pickings were slim in my area) and EVERY thing I said to her would be answered by:
it made conversation near impossible. I actually went on a date with her and she was one of the most miserable people I've ever met, she didn't smile once.
Hell, I haven't had a single visitor in almost a week.
Have you updated your profile or answered a question recently? Everytime you do, it pops you into people's feeds, if you just leave your profile static after creating it, it sort of settles into the bottom of the sea.
Hell, I haven't had a single visitor in almost a week.
Have you updated your profile or answered a question recently? Everytime you do, it pops you into people's feeds, if you just leave your profile static after creating it, it sort of settles into the bottom of the sea.
Ah, that would explain a bit. I've been putting off updating my profile until I can think of how to update it. Thanks!
NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
edited April 2011
Yes, let us start a new thread so I can get tips on how travel to Reno every weekend tomeet women (thanks okcupid for sending me 75 miles in the opposite direction of my choosing).
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If you specify a time and place, she now has to just say yes or no, rather than now do all the work of picking a place that you should have done in the first place. If she can't make that time or place, she can still accept and offer an alternative. Either way, you've taken initiative and made it far more likely she'll say yes.
-__- fingers crossed.
E: for next time, anyway
Really? Did they say that to you directly? I'm not asking in a skeptical way, but genuinely curious how you came about this information.
Smileys are weird... they have a place, but then if a message is littered with them, I agree that it would come across as too immature. Or in some cases, as too weeaboo, in which case I'd run screaming.
In the two instances I'm remembering, the rest of my message was enough for a reply, but both times the fact that I'd used smilies came up in conversation and it was made clear it was a major strike against me.
I think this might very well be a generational thing (I'm 32 now), but I think you're right - there's a big difference between a single
What I found, though, is if a girl tended to use a lot of smilies that she was overcompensating for a little bit of insecurity, either in her confidence in how she was communicating or in herself in general. It's easier to just say lol
In online dating, as in most things, the hard choice is usually the better one. It's harder to write an engaging, interesting message or IM that doesn't use smilies than it is to be lazy and drop them in. The hard choice is better, I find (well, found with regard to OKC as I'm not using it any more).
Your mileage may (and probably will) vary.
I've noticed more than a few women in my age range (I'm mid 30s, looking for late 20s to late 30s) who are huge on no smilies, no "lol" grammar fiends. Personally, I think they need to unclench a little, everything in moderation.
Pfft going on 4 months
Steam: pazython
Back when I was doing the online dating thing I got chatting to this girl who seemed fairly interesting from her profile (ok, not that interesting but pickings were slim in my area) and EVERY thing I said to her would be answered by:
it made conversation near impossible. I actually went on a date with her and she was one of the most miserable people I've ever met, she didn't smile once.
PSN: SirGrinchX
Oculus Rift: Sir_Grinch
My ex has a habit of adding XD faces to things but only when he's making a dickish or sarcastic comment. It's super annoying. I don't mind XD or
Damn, Ms. Personality.
This slutty girl just rejected me, because I told her that I thought her habit of casually sleeping around was disturbing.
I was sorely tempted to reply with a "fuck you," but I just blocked her instead.
Have you updated your profile or answered a question recently? Everytime you do, it pops you into people's feeds, if you just leave your profile static after creating it, it sort of settles into the bottom of the sea.
Ah, that would explain a bit. I've been putting off updating my profile until I can think of how to update it. Thanks!
Steam: pazython
Second date secured!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YCN-a0NsNk
She graduates in a few weeks and said that we should get together after April 27th.