As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
Options

[D&D 4E IC] Residuum Revolution Strange- Outlaws!

1246712

Posts

  • Options
    daniantdaniant Columbus, OhioRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    As those of you jumping through the hole in the wall walk towards the revelers, you can see that you are advancing on what appears to be a two-year old's birthday party. There is chocolate cake, a pinata, and a lot of happy drunk people and their screaming, playful children.

    As you get closer, a few of the children start pointing at you and running for their parents, who turn to see what the fuss is.

    Their faces fall in alarm at the heavily armored men and women walking towards them with weapons sheathed at their sides or across their backs. You hear a two-year old shout, "Mommy, mommy, there's a man on fire!"

    daniant on
  • Options
    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "Greetings, children! Now who likes... the Circus?"
    Bluff: 1d20+13 14

    Apparently, kids these days decidedly did not like the circus. And who could blame them? Clowns are incredibly creepy. The children almost immediately started to cry.

    The mysterious Lizard King (or perhaps Circus King) turned back to his compatriots.

    "Okay that didn't work so well... somebody either do something suitable for a Whimsical Carnival or we're just going to have to run for it."

    Horseshoe on
    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
  • Options
    dresdenphiledresdenphile Watch out for snakes!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Ilesombra smiles warmly at the people who are currently recoiling in horror. She kneels down to be at eye level with the child who shouted "No need to fear, little one. You've heard of fire-eaters in the circus, right? Well, Ladej has something of a sweet tooth, and he gets a little carried away. You think maybe he should go on a diet?

    She pokes Ladej in the stomach while giving him a "play along" look.

    "Yep, too many toasted marshmallows. Am I right, folks, or am I right?" the paladin laughs, hoping that such mirth will defuse this situation before it gets out of hand.
    Diplomacy: 1d20+9 22

    dresdenphile on
    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    daniantdaniant Columbus, OhioRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    The parents who are now holding their little ones in their arms look decidedly confused. Finally, an incredibly drunk man speaks up. "We didn't hire no circus."

    Then a little girl peering from behind her mother's skirt says, "You're weird."

    daniant on
  • Options
    Lord PalingtonLord Palington he.him.his History-loving pal!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "If you think that's weird, wait until you see his rock golem." Tordain paused, actually quite unsure of what that stone thing really was. He looked down the road to see if the guards had wizened to their ruse yet.

    Perception: 1d20+4 6

    He couldn't see much past the crowd, and he hoped the same was true for the guards.

    Lord Palington on
    SrUxdlb.jpg
  • Options
    TuranosTuranos Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Mnemo's passivity is suddenly broken as some attention turns to it. Its colour shifts to a flickering orange and it backs away from the children. The construct's head begins to swivel to possible avenues of escape, and despite its lack of obvious facial expression, its movements appear decidedly uncomfortable.

    Turanos on
  • Options
    daniantdaniant Columbus, OhioRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    As the children watch the construct in horror, one of the parents starts to walk briskly in the direction of the guard house.

    daniant on
  • Options
    Lord PalingtonLord Palington he.him.his History-loving pal!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Tordain, sensing the shifting mood in the crowd, recalls a parable he had been told as a child.

    "Listen well, good people, to this tale told to the first of my family by Erathis herself.

    There went out a sower to sow: And it came to pass, as he sowed, some fell by the way side, and the birds of the air came and devoured it up. And some fell on stony ground, where it had not much earth; and immediately it sprang up, because it had no depth of earth: But when the sun was up, it was scorched; and because it had no root, it withered away. And some fell among thorns, the thorns grew up, and choked it, and it yielded no fruit. And other fell on good ground, did yield fruit that sprang up and increased; and brought forth, some thirty, and some sixty, some a hundred. He said unto them, He that has ears to hear, let him hear."

    Tordain looked at the assembled crowd. "The lesson Erathis teaches us is that we are those seeds, and the soil is our government. Without firm roots and incorruptible magistrates, we are all lost. But Erathis gives us hope eternal, thank you brothers, thank you sisters."
    Religion parable: 1d20+7 25

    Lord Palington on
    SrUxdlb.jpg
  • Options
    daniantdaniant Columbus, OhioRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    The crowd, not sure what to expect next from this bizarre group of people, stands still and silent. You can tell they are trying to figure out what Tordain just said.

    Finally, a little girl grabs the dwarf by the hand. "Do you like candy?" she asks thoughtfully.

    daniant on
  • Options
    dresdenphiledresdenphile Watch out for snakes!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Ilesombra's smile never fades while her fellow former prisoners speak. She even manages to avoid rolling her eyes while Tordain prattles on with his anti-government parable.

    "Yes, good people, government brings with it the dangers of accusing the innocent in the pursuit of the guilty. We are in such a terrible predicament at this very moment with the guard of your fair city. The nk'barra think we are a menace, which you good people, who appear to be fine judges of character, can plainly see we are not. We fear they may be coming here to falsely imprison us once more."

    "To that end, it would be best for everyone if we were able to make an expedient exit from your township, so that we may be unmolested in our journeys and you can return to your celebrations, undisturbed. Do any of you know the quickest and quietest way out of this fine town, so you may commence with your revelry?"

    The paladin makes sure to bat her eyelashes at the men in the audience for added effect.

    Come on, you fools, I can barely stand the stink of this place. Just help me get out of here...

    Diplomacy: 1d20+9 28

    And boom goes the dynamite.

    dresdenphile on
    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    The King was dumbstruck. Literally. Not only could he not speak after Tordain's speech, he somehow felt as though part of hes memory was inacessible. But that could also have been the mounting threat of the hallucinogens.

    "My word..." he whispered to himself, hoarsely (but his thoughts were so loud Mnemo almost wanted to tell him -- er -- think him to keep it down), "He's... he's just so delusional that he recreates reality around him. Religion is finally starting to make sense."

    Horseshoe on
    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
  • Options
    Lord PalingtonLord Palington he.him.his History-loving pal!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Tordain smiled at the offer. It had been some time since he had strung so many words together at once, he had almost forgotten how good it felt to speak the truths of Erathis.

    "Why yes, I remember as a young dwarf eating rock candy we grew deep in the mountains. Have you ever tried it?"

    Lord Palington on
    SrUxdlb.jpg
  • Options
    daniantdaniant Columbus, OhioRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    While Tordain entertains the birthday girl, a group of parents come up to Ilesombra and the others.

    One man pulls Ilesombra aside. "If the nk'barra are after you, we can't do much to help you. We have families, you know? But we can give you a boost over the city walls."

    daniant on
  • Options
    dresdenphiledresdenphile Watch out for snakes!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "That's all we're asking for, my dear man. A chance to get a fresh start in the outside world. Where can we get that boost that will draw the least amount of attention from prying eyes?"

    dresdenphile on
    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    daniantdaniant Columbus, OhioRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    The man (who appears to be the birthday girl's father) indicates a corner of the far side of the open-air pavilion where they are hosting the party. The wall behind appears to be crumbling slightly, and with a little help, you're sure you can make it over the wall. Beyond lies the northern fields, the breadbasket of Ydria...

    Suddenly, you hear noises from the jail. It appears the guard has entered the guard house and found the hole in the wall. You have little time.

    Ready to jump over the wall and make your get away?

    daniant on
  • Options
    Lord PalingtonLord Palington he.him.his History-loving pal!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    !ready

    "It looks like it's time for my friends and I to go. Thank you for your kindness, and may Erathis watch over you on this special day."

    Tordain stood and joined his companions, wondering when he would be in the presence of such innocence again.

    Lord Palington on
    SrUxdlb.jpg
  • Options
    TuranosTuranos Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Mnemo edges away from the children but the way the orange fades from its form suggests it is more comfortable with this turn of events. Or perhaps it is hungry for squirrel meat, there really is no way to tell. For some reason the construct places itself slightly behind the King and stays close to him as the party makes its way to the crumbling wall.

    !Ready

    Turanos on
  • Options
    AegofAegof Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Ladej could not believe any of that had worked.

    !ready.

    Aegof on
    I'm providing ambience.
  • Options
    daniantdaniant Columbus, OhioRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Sorry guys, I've tried to post several times and with limited (phone) internet access and server busy notices, it was just too much bs, so I gave up until I had a computer again.


    With the help of several (unsteady) hands, you all get help over the wall. Mnemo, the last one over, as he glances behind, notices that the guards are just coming through the hole in the jail. With a little luck, they didn't notice you.

    You land with a thump. Ahead, you see corn and wheat fields, stretching as far north as the eye can see. Dotted with farmhouses, this is the breadbasket of Ydria. To the south lies the arcane site that some of you know about. To get to it, you would have to circle around the city and ford the river...

    The east holds the mysteries of the desert and the mountains, while the west is known to you.
    pub?id=1eWHxJEdqcNBF0XPyyAgipHD20kR2PjoahXtecIOEe0Y&w=960&h=720

    daniant on
  • Options
    Lord PalingtonLord Palington he.him.his History-loving pal!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "Right, that was a bit of a close one. Everyone in one piece?"

    Tordain looked at the assembled and wondered if the strange one mentioning the green lady had been a coincidence. One way to find out.

    "Earlier, when you spoke of the green lady, what were you referring to?"

    Lord Palington on
    SrUxdlb.jpg
  • Options
    dresdenphiledresdenphile Watch out for snakes!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Ilesombra dusts herself off after being hefted over the wall.

    "I was falsely imprisoned, and a child called me weird. I've had better days."

    The paladin awaited the madman's response to the dwarf's question.

    dresdenphile on
    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    AegofAegof Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "I have had worse," Ladej says. "Put it behind you. I have business in this region. I'm told there is a cache of reagents hidden in the area. Since my supplier was caught playing fey song-magic, I thought to get from the capital for a time and see if I might find it. Should there be enough, I might even be able to turn some of these sharpened stones we carry into proper weapons."

    Ladej had no care for dreams.

    Aegof on
    I'm providing ambience.
  • Options
    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "Ah. Perhaps you have identified with one of several potent archetypes, My Good Hammer. The Green Lady, as she may be called, might be a work of art, a potent villain, a ghost, a potent species of liquor, or merely the feminine version of several prosaic deities and demigods manifested within agrarian or otherwise primitive cultures. Did you have a particular version of such a Lady in mind?"

    Horseshoe on
    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
  • Options
    Lord PalingtonLord Palington he.him.his History-loving pal!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "It just reminded me a dream I had, one that seemed to happen more often the closer I got to this area." Tordain shrugged, feeling almost relieved the mad man didn't seem to share his visions.

    "I'm no nk'barra or much a supporter of theirs, but you do realize the types of penalties for illegally aquiring and using arcane supplies, of course. Unless you have a license..."

    Lord Palington on
    SrUxdlb.jpg
  • Options
    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "Dreams!"

    The Lizard King (or Circus King... the jury wasn't in on that yet) nearly jumped out of his Not-Pants.

    "Dreams, even the dreams of A Hammer, are a fascinating look into the Collective Unconscious. Now... my dear Propane --"

    "--Tordain"

    "--which I'm sure is what I meant. I am a licensed Dream Navigator, if your Nocturnal Em...environs tend to be of such a compelling nature, I shall waive my customary fee in the name of science. Such matters are much more important and indeed potent than the petty propriety of powerful paraphernalia."

    Horseshoe on
    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
  • Options
    AegofAegof Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "The mud-worshipers tore apart my license. Acquiring a second will be no harder than the first. Easier, as I have become more used to the permanence of the world."

    Aegof on
    I'm providing ambience.
  • Options
    Lord PalingtonLord Palington he.him.his History-loving pal!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "And just how do you ... navigate dreams?"

    Tordain knew of portents, visions, and dreams. What dwarf doesn't have an aunt or a great grandmother afflicted with The Sight? The man without pants didn't seem like he was talking about reading crushed granite or palm callouses, so Tordain felt a little out of his element.

    "Is this something we can discuss while we move? Over a wall is all well and good, but there's plenty of ways around that barrier, and I feel certain the guard will figure out our ruse eventually."

    Lord Palington on
    SrUxdlb.jpg
  • Options
    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "I am a multi-tasker, good sir. I am able to walk, navigate the ravishing seas of unconsciousness, dodge the fuzz, and sometimes even have an afternoon nap simultaneously."

    Horseshoe on
    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
  • Options
    Lord PalingtonLord Palington he.him.his History-loving pal!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "Very well. Ladej, if it's all the same we can turn first to your task, if only to get some distance between us and this township."

    Tordain looked at the assembled group, just knowing that if any of them were dangers to society Erathis would hold him personally responsible for helping them escape imprisonment. "I figure I might as well come with to keep you all out of trouble."

    Lord Palington on
    SrUxdlb.jpg
  • Options
    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "We're all most grateful for that, as I'm we have all noticed that we've been distinctly OUT of trouble ever since we laid eyes upon you. PRAISE WHOMEVER AND PASS THE COLLECTION PLATE, BROTHERS AND SISTERS!"

    The sudden (and, in many cultures, inappropriate) gyrations that accompanied the last capital statement were... well they were not subtle, to be sure.

    Horseshoe on
    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
  • Options
    Lord PalingtonLord Palington he.him.his History-loving pal!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Tordain bears the gyrations stoically. "Laugh as you must, but you surely noticed a representative of Erathis's holy order lends this group a certain legitimacy in the eyes of the public, without which you would have been in even more trouble than before."

    He turns to the rest of the group. "Unless anyone has any objections?"

    Lord Palington on
    SrUxdlb.jpg
  • Options
    TuranosTuranos Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    The construct spends the majority of the strange conversation staring up at the sky, completely unmoving. A gentle blue slowly bleeds into its colouring before retreating and leaving it the same marble grey it has spent most of its time with the group as. Once it returns its attentions to the group, Mnemo again moves closer to the King. Despite this increasingly strange choice, it simply stands nearby, apparently content to follow along for the moment.

    Turanos on
  • Options
    dresdenphiledresdenphile Watch out for snakes!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "As exciting as visiting a license bureau would be, I'm more inclined to investigate the arcane site that's supposed to be due south of here," Ilesombra chimed in, pointing in that direction. "Feel free to tag along if you like, gentlemen."

    Without another world, the paladin began walking in the direction of what she hopes to be a great cache of magical artifacts and books.

    dresdenphile on
    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "Consider the Thinking Rock, my friends. It is a thing unthought of, yes? Rocks to us are tools. Like a knife, a word, a song, a spell, a sigil, a prayer. Consider the rock. Consider the tools your your own... whoo..."

    The King bent over a second, as though about to void the contents of his stomach. Though it likely would have been for the better, he decided to take one for the most cosmic of teams and ride it out.

    "Whooooo... excuse me... now then. We are all equipped with our various tools; mind, hinges, pointy things, religious hooplah, third eyes and all matter of metaphysical arsenal. We are weapons of mass destruction. Unfortunately my aperture is not clear at the moment. So perhaps I shall instend borrow the eyes of Our Fair Maiden."

    The King swayed on his feet, steadying himself upon The Thinking Rock.

    "Yes! Sight! Arcane! Indeed I have both but more can be procured, My Fair Maiden. If your motor skills are less enhanced in the fifth yet more able in the third dimension than my own... wait, what was i talking about... probably something like... Yes! Due South! South! Do! Dooooooooo! Capital Idea. I-Deus-Cap-I-Tell. So... I, the Capitalus, and... y'know... In Nomine Idoneare... so let's... get neare that Idear.... my Dear."

    Horseshoe on
    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
  • Options
    Lord PalingtonLord Palington he.him.his History-loving pal!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    So this is my task, Erathis?

    Tordain secured his personal belongings once more and followed the paladin. "I assume we'll be giving the town a wide berth?" He had to wonder if this group could ever be welcomed into a town of any size, or if they would be continually escaping from the local law enforcement.

    On the the other hand, he couldn't think of a better way to shake loose the corruption in a given area, and the mad one was right, they were all dangerous weapons of a sort.

    Lord Palington on
    SrUxdlb.jpg
  • Options
    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "I believe the saying is that we are 'on the lam'. And as Lambs, town is a very good place to get cut up into little pieces. So, my Lambs, perhaps he fresh air and green pastures of the countryside will have to do until we find ourselves transformed once again."

    Horseshoe on
    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
  • Options
    dresdenphiledresdenphile Watch out for snakes!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    "Yes, let's steer well away from that rathole, and make our way to some place more interesting," the paladin replied, continuing to walk briskly in the direction that she suspects the arcane site is located.

    dresdenphile on
    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    daniantdaniant Columbus, OhioRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    As you head off in a westerly direction, you all realize that the young man Elias that was with you in jail is no longer accompanying you. As you recollect, the last time you saw him was at the birthday party. Did he sneak away? Or try to blend in with the kids?

    One thing's for sure, you need to skirt around the town to either the east or west to get to the arcane site.
    pub?id=1lOTT_Jk5wwdX08JSR9Mhql635FeZ6-eNWh1EYAJeU7U&w=960&h=720

    daniant on
  • Options
    dresdenphiledresdenphile Watch out for snakes!Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Is there a bridge or at least a place that's narrow and shallow enough to ford the river if we go west?

    dresdenphile on
    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    daniantdaniant Columbus, OhioRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    There is a bridge that is guarded by city guards. Anyone can make a nature check to see if they remember a fordable part of the river.

    daniant on
Sign In or Register to comment.