FlowerHoney's WIPS need critique! Never safe for work

flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
edited May 2011 in Artist's Corner
Hello all! I'm nervous like a goose but this needs to be done...
photo26v.jpg

I'm working on some smallish artworks for my friends for Christmas because I'm too poor to afford presents
So I guess I'll do this one friend at a time

A friend of mine loves baseball, and also just so happens to love girls. So I figure, why not combine the two? (upon further thought, I really could have just called it softball, buuut...)

I dont have a scanner, so they're just crappy photo uploads for now, I'm working for an upgrade in quality
photo17lr.jpg
photo20p.jpg
photo21j.jpg
photo22kj.jpg

I'm hoping these images so far read well together and aren't too off anatomy wise

Any critique would be well appreciated! Thanks!

flowerhoney on

Posts

  • farbekriegfarbekrieg Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Im a bit of a baseball fan myself, i like it, except the clang. I guess i fall on the traditional side and like wooden bats and would have preferred a "crack".

    the panel with the pitcher is a little drab, i adore the 2nd panel as ive tried to replicate that pose with far less success, however the story gets really muddied in the last one, is she running to first (doesnt look like the batter), is that a baserunner coming home?

    Also you have lots of cutsey feet in the first 2 frames but the foot in the 3rd frame makes me cringe a little.

    The only base that is every blocked by a fielder like that is home plate which is the only base not square, usually the defensive players at 1st 2nd or 3rd are standing just to the side of the base with 1 foot touching it.

    farbekrieg on
  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I'll be perfectly honest, I don't know the first thing about baseball so this is really helpful! Thanks!

    I very stealthily asked my friend about the wood vs metal bats, and apparently wooden bats is what they use in MLB so I guess I just have to decide if this is major or minor bikini baseball

    Any baserunner would be for the third panel, but I can see what you're saying about making it clearer

    flowerhoney on
  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I re-worked the pitcher and tried to give the batter a little more perspective in the 3rd panel.
    Perspective is hard =S
    photo27i.jpg
    photo28v.jpg

    looking at it now, I think her ponytail is a little wonky too

    flowerhoney on
  • farbekriegfarbekrieg Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    i likes it :P

    are you planning on coloring?

    farbekrieg on
  • GurtPerkGurtPerk Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    This reminds me of Super Baseball 2020 for the SNES. There was a team called the "Tropical Girls" that ran around in bikinis and could hit way better than any of the boy teams. Only thing that could stand a chance against them were the Robot teams.

    God, I can't wait for baseball in the future.

    GurtPerk on
  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I'm terrible at coloring, and I'm pretty sure a trip into photoshop will only end with bad news bears, so I think I'll just stick with inking and then cleaning it up

    thanks guys! I think they're looking pretty sexy- uh I mean good at baseball =)

    flowerhoney on
  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    working on another friend's picture, but its driving me crazzyyy
    advice and critique, please?
    photo30qf.jpg

    There's definitely something off, but I cant seem to fix all the problems

    flowerhoney on
  • DeeLockDeeLock Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    You really need to be at least looking at some reference.

    Either take your own photos or spend a little bit of time finding some photos online to give you an idea of how to solve some of the problems you run into.

    Five minutes of reference gathering later.

    DeeLock on
  • farbekriegfarbekrieg Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    i think ballerina or ice-skater jumping would also provide reference material, personally i would go with a comic book reference as they have long struggled with making wimmenz fly, (supergirl, rogue, ms marvel, batgirl (from a line but still same concept)etc)

    farbekrieg on
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Just from a quick glance I think fixing her left foot would go a long ways. If her leg is bent like that I think her toes should be pointing upwards, the way it is now just looks uncomfortable.

    Also the bikini baseball is awesome. The pitcher panel looks better but perspective wise, that base ball should be way bigger if you want to make it look like its coming at the viewer.

    earthwormadam on
  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    thanks guys! <3
    Deelock: I feel super dumb, I didnt even think of using a reference photo, which is weird since I looked through photos religiously for the baseball picture. Those poses are pretty fun! I think I should go with farbekrieg's suggestion of comic book characters though, since she's not really jumping but actually flying

    Earthwormadam: I might just get rid of the ball all together, it doesnt really look good.

    flowerhoney on
  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    inked the bikini girls and re-did the bird lady

    photo31su.jpg


    I'm hesitant to ink those palm trees, but I want to make it look the beach! I thought the panel would be too boring without the trees.
    Bird girl looks better now, but her pose doesnt really have the feel I was going for...

    flowerhoney on
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Needs a contrast or level adjustment. I mean, if you have photoshop. If ya don't I think you might be able to tweak the settings on the scanner you used and get the scanned contrast to go up a scooch or two higher. Also for the panels themselves I would put the pitch where it is now, but the hit to the left and the running along the bottom. Looks nice this way too, but I feel the flow might be better if you changed it?

    Arden Canelo on
  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I am actually the slowest worker alive, but I finally have an update!

    Inking is also sometimes the scariest thing
    Some wanted cowgirls, maybe I should watch thelma and lousie or something
    img022hk.th.jpg

    A derby girl, but according to my boyfriend she looks like she's about to take it in the ass. GREAT
    img021a.th.jpg

    I wanted to make a fashionable candy pirate. Not sure how successful I was
    88671669.th.jpg

    A friend and I have re-watching sailor moon!! omg!! Her outfit is a little off, since I drew it from memory heh
    44120264.th.jpg

    I've tried to get better about reference photos, also I haven't had a chance to touch any of these up in photoshop. Most of my endeavors with that program have been something like "Hm, I want to do this thing" -three hours of fruitless clicking later- "yay I did it!"

    flowerhoney on
  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    More updates! I've started to clean them up in photoshop, its been pretty fun!

    I'm really happy with the outlaw ladies

    jess1m.th.jpg
    zoe2s.th.jpg
    ruth1.th.jpg
    sho1q.th.jpg
    graham1.th.jpg

    I kind of want to color them, but I have no idea how to color with photoshop and in general I'm pretty terrible at coloring so they probably dodge bullet in B&W

    I got all the fonts from dafont.com (yes, I did spend a couple hours sorting through fonts, yes it was awesome)

    flowerhoney on
  • farbekriegfarbekrieg Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    love the update,

    the wanted girls... the one on the right seems to be compacted through the torso, and her torso looks short in comparison to the rest of her, which makes her hips and thighs look really big.

    farbekrieg on
  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    oh, huh!

    I didn't really notice it before, but I probably should have elongated her torso after making her taller
    Stuff like that is a big problem for me, I'll watch out for that on the next drawing since I can't really change her now =(

    Thanks for the compliment and critique!

    flowerhoney on
  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I am so productive, why the hell is it finals?! Why couldn't I have done all this work, like, three weeks ago

    A quick death drawing for a friend
    ian1g.th.jpg

    Its my boyfriend and I's anniversary soon (2 years!) and I wanted to make him something. He really like birds of prey so I thought some mildly cheesecake ladies would be appropriate
    The problem is that I'm scared as hell to ink the drawing since it'll be mostly unchangeable (I've been working more with photoshop, but I haven't been able to master anything as radical as changing the structure of the drawing). The only one I was confident enough to ink was huntress

    I would really, really appreciate critique for this one!
    mark1b.th.jpg

    flowerhoney on
  • ParadiseParadise Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I love this:
    photo26v.jpg

    Also, I think this one lost some depth in the inking process, since the line thicknesses look more appropriate in the original pencil drawing:
    img021a.jpg

    ruth1.jpg

    Paradise on
  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Yeah I agree with you, I did it because when I first inked and photoshopped the candy pirate, the lines seemed really weak and thin. So I decided to add the darker boarder and it really made the image pop. I liked it so much I decided to do it with all of them!

    Thanks for the catch paradise! Maybe I can play around with it in photoshop

    flowerhoney on
  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Might as well upload some short films I made this year!
    Not amazing, but I had fun making them! yay final cut!

    For my 2D foundations class we had to make a stop motion film, I decided to just do some good old hand drawn animation. Pretty rough, but it was fun!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adDhfOuTjTA

    Then for my film class we all had to make a 90 second film using the prompt "evolution". I decided to play with the fuuuuture of evolution! Not a biologist, so I ended up making some pretty wild claims but I think thats okay
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NaZBM29QaQ

    Again for my film class, we had to condense a big idea into 90 seconds. I'd recently gone to a lecture by biologist and trans-activist Julia Serano. She gave a really amazing lecture on the gender binary and how its time to start viewing gender through a new lens. It inspired my end product! My roommate and I provided the audio in a fun conversation we had with each other
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KR9S6EJiYSA

    flowerhoney on
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