As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/

Judgement Day and We Can Know: What the hell?

2456730

Posts

  • darklite_xdarklite_x I'm not an r-tard... Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    In our hearts, I imagine.

    darklite_x on
    Steam ID: darklite_x Xbox Gamertag: Darklite 37 PSN:Rage_Kage_37 Battle.Net:darklite#2197
  • HonkHonk Honk is this poster. Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2011
    I imagine a lot more gay-rights laws would be passed after the rapture.

    Honk on
    PSN: Honkalot
  • darklite_xdarklite_x I'm not an r-tard... Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    That's because only the gays would be left.


    zing!

    darklite_x on
    Steam ID: darklite_x Xbox Gamertag: Darklite 37 PSN:Rage_Kage_37 Battle.Net:darklite#2197
  • HonkHonk Honk is this poster. Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2011
    Don't forget the gay-enablers!

    Honk on
    PSN: Honkalot
  • TheBlackWindTheBlackWind Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    CasedOut wrote: »
    Honk wrote: »
    I never heard of the details about the rapture before, like the leaving behind of unbelievers.

    Is there an actual downside to the rapture?

    Giant scorpion tiger lizards with a thousand mouths that breath fire, or something like that.

    I'm sure that was super scary in Jesus times, but when our military blows that dragon to shit, the world is gonna be awesome.

    TheBlackWind on
    PAD ID - 328,762,218
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I suppose it isn't a bad idea to build up a small survival cache if one doesn't already have one on hand, all the same.

    Like the Zombie Apocalypse tongue in cheek speculation, disaster preparedness is something a lot of us take for granted, but whether it's because a natural disaster occurs, massive social unrest, or a (at least briefly) survivable supernatural disaster (look, I don't care what book it's in, if the beast with six mouths sings the song that ends the world, it's not a 'natural' disaster), having some non-perishable food, water, a first aid kit and other supplies on hand could be a real boon.

    Doing so in the coming weeks and months might be worthwhile, if just to beat what one assumes may be a rush on those same supplies/materials in the next year or so. Intelligently, of course.

    A couple extra bottles of water and a box of power bars isn't going to break my bank and if something did go wrong on a serious scale it could be the difference between making it until help arrives or not.
    CasedOut wrote: »
    Giant scorpion tiger lizards with a thousand mouths that breath fire, or something like that.

    I'm sure that was super scary in Jesus times, but when our military blows that dragon to shit, the world is gonna be awesome.

    I now want to see this movie/read this book. Please get to it!

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • CantidoCantido Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    I always thought the Rapture would be a pretty cool thing for God to do.

    The leaving us secularists here to run things part.
    According to the book Soon, the global atheist dictatorship will cure cancer, develop telephones that can be implanted in the skull, be full of people willing to give to charity, value intelectualism and humanism and establish world peace (by, admittedly, outlawing religion).

    It's written by Jerry Jenkins, the same guy who wrote Left Behind, so it must be true.

    If I get a computer in my left retina, sign me up!

    Cantido on
    3DS Friendcode 5413-1311-3767
  • DivideByZeroDivideByZero Social Justice Blackguard Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Forar wrote: »
    CasedOut wrote: »
    Giant scorpion tiger lizards with a thousand mouths that breath fire, or something like that.

    I'm sure that was super scary in Jesus times, but when our military blows that dragon to shit, the world is gonna be awesome.

    I now want to see this movie/read this book. Please get to it!

    You would think so, but then you get THIS
    reign_of_fire-2.jpg

    DivideByZero on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKERS
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Forar wrote: »
    CasedOut wrote: »
    Giant scorpion tiger lizards with a thousand mouths that breath fire, or something like that.

    I'm sure that was super scary in Jesus times, but when our military blows that dragon to shit, the world is gonna be awesome.

    I now want to see this movie/read this book. Please get to it!

    You would think so, but then you get THIS
    reign_of_fire-2.jpg

    I wanted to like Reign of Fire so very much, but I just couldn't do it.

    So much wasted potential there.

    Personally, I'd say that the war against dragons happening on screen would've been a dozen times more interesting than the shit we got.

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • jefe414jefe414 "My Other Drill Hole is a Teleporter" Mechagodzilla is Best GodzillaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Obviously it was supposed to be in 1994:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvUwYh1hH38

    jefe414 on
    Xbox Live: Jefe414
  • darklite_xdarklite_x I'm not an r-tard... Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Me personally? I hated RoF when it first came out because it was so different from what I expected. However, after watching it a couple of times I started to love it for what it was. After viewing it from a different perspective it became one of my favorite movies.

    darklite_x on
    Steam ID: darklite_x Xbox Gamertag: Darklite 37 PSN:Rage_Kage_37 Battle.Net:darklite#2197
  • SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    There is something depressing about such a significant portion of our species being so obsessed with its destruction. Meanwhile, the things that could actually LEAD to our own destruction, such as climate change, resource shortages, etc. all are allowed to continue on their merry way.

    Sentry on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    wrote:
    When I was a little kid, I always pretended I was the hero,' Skip said.
    'Fuck yeah, me too. What little kid ever pretended to be part of the lynch-mob?'
  • DivideByZeroDivideByZero Social Justice Blackguard Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    The war against the dragons happening on the posters was more interesting than the shit we got.
    reign_of_fire.jpg
    Lookit all'em gunships that were never in the movie.

    on topic: my beef with the Rapture isn't that it is or isn't likely to happen. It's that even if it does happen, we still have to put up with Kirk fucking Cameron afterwards.

    DivideByZero on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKERS
  • JihadJesusJihadJesus Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I think it's funny you guys think the Air Force will be around to blow up dragons post-Rapture. It'll be all Independence Day style;

    Atheist: "Shit, it's a Jesus dragon! We need someone to fly the F-22! Where the fuck is the Air Force?"
    Agnostic: "Raptured."
    Atheist: "All of them? No fucking way! What about the closet homosexuals?"
    Agnostic: "Yup, them too.The evangelism is kind of pervasive."
    Atheist: "Well we're screwed. Who the hell is going to fly the planes?"
    Agnostic:"...I was pretty good at MS Flight Simulator 98, I guess."

    JihadJesus on
  • WMain00WMain00 Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    In somewhat related news:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-13362958

    Shit is going down in the crab nebula, which doomsayers sometimes love to refer to.

    WMain00 on
  • TomantaTomanta Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    JihadJesus wrote: »
    I think it's funny you guys think the Air Force will be around to blow up dragons post-Rapture. It'll be all Independence Day style;

    Atheist: "Shit, it's a Jesus dragon! We need someone to fly the F-22! Where the fuck is the Air Force?"
    Agnostic: "Raptured."
    Atheist: "All of them? No fucking way! What about the closet homosexuals?"
    Agnostic: "Yup, them too.The evangelism is kind of pervasive."
    Atheist: "Well we're screwed. Who the hell is going to fly the planes?"
    Agnostic:"...I was pretty good at MS Flight Simulator 98, I guess."

    Hey, it worked in Battlefield: Earth.
    Seriously. A week with 1000-year-old simulators and they were flying 1000-year-old harriers? What an awful movie.

    Tomanta on
  • DoctorArchDoctorArch Curmudgeon Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    NPR has a good article on this here.

    DoctorArch on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6732-9515-9697
  • WotanAnubisWotanAnubis Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    JihadJesus wrote: »
    I think it's funny you guys think the Air Force will be around to blow up dragons post-Rapture. It'll be all Independence Day style;

    Atheist: "Shit, it's a Jesus dragon! We need someone to fly the F-22! Where the fuck is the Air Force?"
    Agnostic: "Raptured."
    Atheist: "All of them? No fucking way! What about the closet homosexuals?"
    Agnostic: "Yup, them too.The evangelism is kind of pervasive."
    Atheist: "Well we're screwed. Who the hell is going to fly the planes?"
    Agnostic:"...I was pretty good at MS Flight Simulator 98, I guess."
    No atheists in foxholes, am I right?
    Or whatever the Airforce equivalent of a foxhole is.

    WotanAnubis on
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    It's a bit creepy how many Christians in America are so sure that Jesus is going to come back during their lifetime. Does it not occur to them that a huge portion of now-dead Christians in history were also sure that Jesus would be back during their lifetimes?

    KalTorak on
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    DoctorArch wrote: »
    NPR has a good article on this here.

    Wow. Absolute insanity.

    Magic Pink on
  • DoctorArchDoctorArch Curmudgeon Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    One bit that pisses me off about this, all those people who have children who stopped working and spent their life savings to pass out end-of-day pamphlets are going to turn to the government to help them out of their own goddamn stupidity when the rapture doesn't come and they still need to take care of their children.

    DoctorArch on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6732-9515-9697
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Didn't one of the people who left his job work for the Dept. of Homeland Security?

    That's terrifying.

    KalTorak on
  • JihadJesusJihadJesus Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    KalTorak wrote: »
    It's a bit creepy how many Christians in America are so sure that Jesus is going to come back during their lifetime. Does it not occur to them that a huge portion of now-dead Christians in history were also sure that Jesus would be back during their lifetimes?
    Fuck that, every Christian generation thinks Jesus is coming back, all the way to the disciples.

    I wonder why they're always wrong?

    JihadJesus on
  • WotanAnubisWotanAnubis Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    JihadJesus wrote: »
    KalTorak wrote: »
    It's a bit creepy how many Christians in America are so sure that Jesus is going to come back during their lifetime. Does it not occur to them that a huge portion of now-dead Christians in history were also sure that Jesus would be back during their lifetimes?
    Fuck that, every Christian generation thinks Jesus is coming back, all the way to the disciples.

    I wonder why they're always wrong?
    They're just playing the odds. The chance that the Earth will end is 100%. That means that, sooner or later, they will be right.

    And wouldn't it look silly if they didn't believe Jesus was coming back during the very generation that the world actually does end?

    WotanAnubis on
  • ArbitraryDescriptorArbitraryDescriptor changed Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Forar wrote: »
    The effects are immediate for many disasters, but their occurence is so infrequent that we have to use an awful lot of zeros to represent when the last one was.

    Fact: The Mayans invented the zero.
    Fact: As the Mayan calendar approaches it's rollover in 2012, end-of-the-world fantasies will accelerate.
    Fact: Refutation of these mad theories will require more and more zeros to give perspective to the probability of these claims.

    Conclusion: We are fast approaching a Peak Zero Crisis, and the Mayans knew it; which is why their calendar will have to reset.

    How are you preparing for the day the zeros run out?

    Me? I'm hoarding nickels and pennies. When the distinction between $.01 currency and $100 bills becomes null and void; I'll be sitting pretty.

    ArbitraryDescriptor on
  • TheBlackWindTheBlackWind Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    JihadJesus wrote: »
    I think it's funny you guys think the Air Force will be around to blow up dragons post-Rapture. It'll be all Independence Day style;

    Atheist: "Shit, it's a Jesus dragon! We need someone to fly the F-22! Where the fuck is the Air Force?"
    Agnostic: "Raptured."
    Atheist: "All of them? No fucking way! What about the closet homosexuals?"
    Agnostic: "Yup, them too.The evangelism is kind of pervasive."
    Atheist: "Well we're screwed. Who the hell is going to fly the planes?"
    Agnostic:"...I was pretty good at MS Flight Simulator 98, I guess."
    No atheists in foxholes, am I right?
    Or whatever the Airforce equivalent of a foxhole is.

    No atheists in the executive leather chairs.

    TheBlackWind on
    PAD ID - 328,762,218
  • DivideByZeroDivideByZero Social Justice Blackguard Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Conclusion: We are fast approaching a Peak Zero Crisis, and the Mayans knew it; which is why their calendar will have to reset.

    How are you preparing for the day the zeros run out?

    Oh noes are you saying our drives will only be able to write 1's after the Zerocalypse?

    I better stockpile my 0's now!

    oh fuck, my username...

    DivideByZero on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKERS
  • OctoparrotOctoparrot Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Conclusion: We are fast approaching a Peak Zero Crisis, and the Mayans knew it; which is why their calendar will have to reset.

    How are you preparing for the day the zeros run out?

    Oh noes are you saying our drives will only be able to write 1's after the Zerocalypse?

    I better stockpile my 0's now!

    oh fuck, my username...

    You'll become finite :(

    Octoparrot on
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    @ArbitraryDescriptor: :lol:
    Conclusion: We are fast approaching a Peak Zero Crisis, and the Mayans knew it; which is why their calendar will have to reset.

    How are you preparing for the day the zeros run out?

    Oh noes are you saying our drives will only be able to write 1's after the Zerocalypse?

    I better stockpile my 0's now!

    oh fuck, my username...

    YOU GOOSEHOLE!

    I mean, what, nothing, keep going on about your day.

    No need to look anywhere else in this post.
    Guys, I think we just found the anti-christ. It's a trap. Get an axe.

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • ArbitraryDescriptorArbitraryDescriptor changed Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Yes, all bits will turn on. Binary logic will collapse. Magnetism will fail, and the universe will be reduced to a swirling chaos of quarks bound only by quantum chromodynamics. (If it isn't already!)

    ArbitraryDescriptor on
  • DivideByZeroDivideByZero Social Justice Blackguard Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Yes, all bits will turn on. Binary logic will collapse. Magnetism will fail, and the universe will be reduced to a swirling chaos of quarks bound only by quantum chromodynamics. (If it isn't already!)

    Oh, thank god, for a while there I was terrified we'd have to put up with another season of Jersey Shore.

    DivideByZero on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKERS
  • GreenGreen Stick around. I'm full of bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    darklite_x wrote: »
    In our hearts, I imagine.

    "No John, you are the Nibiru."

    And then John was Planet X.

    Green on
  • Modern ManModern Man Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    I always thought the Rapture would be a pretty cool thing for God to do.

    The leaving us secularists here to run things part.
    According to the book Soon, the global atheist dictatorship will cure cancer, develop telephones that can be implanted in the skull, be full of people willing to give to charity, value intelectualism and humanism and establish world peace (by, admittedly, outlawing religion).

    It's written by Jerry Jenkins, the same guy who wrote Left Behind, so it must be true.
    I read one of the Left Behind novels on a plane flight once. It was pretty terrible.

    But the thing that struck me about it is just how little effect that Rapture seemed to have on most people. Like, all the kids in the world disappear and their parents aren't freaking out and storming the Capitol demanding answers from the government?

    Everyone seemed pretty calm in the face of an event of Biblical proportions. And there's a really weird plotline about the anti-Christ conning the President into giving him Air Force One for some inexplicable reason. That storyline went on and on for pages. I'm pretty sure the President can't give away Air Force One, anyway.

    Modern Man on
    Aetian Jupiter - 41 Gunslinger - The Old Republic
    Rigorous Scholarship

  • KalkinoKalkino Buttons Londres Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    KalTorak wrote: »
    It's a bit creepy how many Christians in America are so sure that Jesus is going to come back during their lifetime. Does it not occur to them that a huge portion of now-dead Christians in history were also sure that Jesus would be back during their lifetimes?

    Seems like a design flaw that should have been rectified by now. Oh well

    Kalkino on
    Freedom for the Northern Isles!
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Kalkino wrote: »
    KalTorak wrote: »
    It's a bit creepy how many Christians in America are so sure that Jesus is going to come back during their lifetime. Does it not occur to them that a huge portion of now-dead Christians in history were also sure that Jesus would be back during their lifetimes?

    Seems like a design flaw that should have been rectified by now. Oh well

    It'll be fixed in a patch some day.

    Though the guys in accounting are saying that if we wait long enough and have periods of riling up the populace, we can milk it for $Texas merely by saying that it's a feature not a bug.

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • Kipling217Kipling217 Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Modern Man wrote: »
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    I always thought the Rapture would be a pretty cool thing for God to do.

    The leaving us secularists here to run things part.
    According to the book Soon, the global atheist dictatorship will cure cancer, develop telephones that can be implanted in the skull, be full of people willing to give to charity, value intelectualism and humanism and establish world peace (by, admittedly, outlawing religion).

    It's written by Jerry Jenkins, the same guy who wrote Left Behind, so it must be true.
    I read one of the Left Behind novels on a plane flight once. It was pretty terrible.

    But the thing that struck me about it is just how little effect that Rapture seemed to have on most people. Like, all the kids in the world disappear and their parents aren't freaking out and storming the Capitol demanding answers from the government?
    Everyone seemed pretty calm in the face of an event of Biblical proportions. And there's a really weird plotline about the anti-Christ conning the President into giving him Air Force One for some inexplicable reason. That storyline went on and on for pages. I'm pretty sure the President can't give away Air Force One, anyway.

    I think thats one of the biggest plot-holes right there. If that happend in the real world, People would lose their collective shit so hard, 9/11 would be a picknic by comparison.

    I am saying that one of the promises the anti-Christ would make would be "I can get your kids back" and people would sign up in droves.



    Of course the bible itself says:
    Acts 1:7 He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.

    So any christian that claims to know when Judgment day is comming.... He is really claiming to know more then the apostles and too be the equal in knowledge of god....

    Kipling217 on
    The sky was full of stars, every star an exploding ship. One of ours.
  • KalkinoKalkino Buttons Londres Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Forar wrote: »
    Kalkino wrote: »
    KalTorak wrote: »
    It's a bit creepy how many Christians in America are so sure that Jesus is going to come back during their lifetime. Does it not occur to them that a huge portion of now-dead Christians in history were also sure that Jesus would be back during their lifetimes?

    Seems like a design flaw that should have been rectified by now. Oh well

    It'll be fixed in a patch some day.

    Though the guys in accounting are saying that if we wait long enough and have periods of riling up the populace, we can milk it for $Texas merely by saying that it's a feature not a bug.

    Oh, you mean perhaps fix it as part of an expansion pack, then market it as a bonus feature?

    Kalkino on
    Freedom for the Northern Isles!
  • GreenGreen Stick around. I'm full of bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    DoctorArch wrote: »
    NPR has a good article on this here.
    Now they are in Orlando, in a rented house, passing out tracts and reading the Bible. Their daughter is 2 years old, and their second child is due in June. Joel says they're spending the last of their savings. They don't see a need for one more dollar.

    "We budgeted everything so that, on May 21, we won't have anything left," Adrienne adds.
    Jesus, this is heartbreaking. So many people are going to be irreperably fucked because they bought into this, and their children are going to pay the price for their gullibility.

    Green on
  • Caveman PawsCaveman Paws Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    It's sad how when someones life doesn't end up as great as they had hoped it would in their youth that they will believe anything, good or bad, if it means their life will suddenly become special.

    That, plus mental illness = very entertaining talk radio

    Caveman Paws on
  • Regina FongRegina Fong Allons-y, Alonso Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Every dime these fruitcakes sink into publicizing this is money that isn't spent on Republican campaigns and anti-gay legislation.

    So I'm all for it. Buy more billboards, please. It's not like there was any chance whatsoever they would have spent this money on something more worthwhile than keeping print/sign/billboard companies in business anyway.

    Regina Fong on
Sign In or Register to comment.