Now they are in Orlando, in a rented house, passing out tracts and reading the Bible. Their daughter is 2 years old, and their second child is due in June. Joel says they're spending the last of their savings. They don't see a need for one more dollar.
"We budgeted everything so that, on May 21, we won't have anything left," Adrienne adds.
Jesus, this is heartbreaking. So many people are going to be irreperably fucked because they bought into this, and their children are going to pay the price for their gullibility.
Family Radio, the organization behind all this, is estimated to be worth about $100 million. I'm sure that once they realize the error, they will liquidate their assets in order to make sure that those harmed by their ministry are able to get their lives back on track.
I always thought the Rapture would be a pretty cool thing for God to do.
The leaving us secularists here to run things part.
According to the book Soon, the global atheist dictatorship will cure cancer, develop telephones that can be implanted in the skull, be full of people willing to give to charity, value intelectualism and humanism and establish world peace (by, admittedly, outlawing religion).
It's written by Jerry Jenkins, the same guy who wrote Left Behind, so it must be true.
I read one of the Left Behind novels on a plane flight once. It was pretty terrible.
But the thing that struck me about it is just how little effect that Rapture seemed to have on most people. Like, all the kids in the world disappear and their parents aren't freaking out and storming the Capitol demanding answers from the government?
Everyone seemed pretty calm in the face of an event of Biblical proportions. And there's a really weird plotline about the anti-Christ conning the President into giving him Air Force One for some inexplicable reason. That storyline went on and on for pages. I'm pretty sure the President can't give away Air Force One, anyway.
I think thats one of the biggest plot-holes right there. If that happend in the real world, People would lose their collective shit so hard, 9/11 would be a picknic by comparison.
I am saying that one of the promises the anti-Christ would make would be "I can get your kids back" and people would sign up in droves.
So many of the things in the book were shoehorned in without research just to meet some supposed Biblical prophecies.
The President unilaterally agrees to give away and destroy the US military arsenal, even though he has no power to do so. He binds the US to a treaty without getting Senate approval. You can apparently fill out a job application to be the pilot for Air Force One, even if you're a civilian.
It was pretty clear that the authors were pretty ignorant of a lot of things. They just wanted to write a book about the Rapture, but decided to forego any research on the real world aspects of their book.
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Rigorous Scholarship
Haubert says the Bible contains coded "proofs" that reveal the timing. For example, he says, from the time of Noah's flood to May 21, 2011, is exactly 7,000 years. Revelations like this have changed his life.
Bearing in mind that: 1 year = (From "way back" until "I say so")/7000
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KalTorakOne way or another, they all end up inthe Undercity.Registered Userregular
Every dime these fruitcakes sink into publicizing this is money that isn't spent on Republican campaigns and anti-gay legislation.
So I'm all for it. Buy more billboards, please. It's not like there was any chance whatsoever they would have spent this money on something more worthwhile than keeping print/sign/billboard companies in business anyway.
Guess that's true - I'd rather have billboards full of this idiocy than anti-gay billboards.
It's a bit creepy how many Christians in America are so sure that Jesus is going to come back during their lifetime. Does it not occur to them that a huge portion of now-dead Christians in history were also sure that Jesus would be back during their lifetimes?
This particular brand of idiocy goes right back to Jesus himself. In the earliest Gospel, Mark, he makes it very clear that the Kingdom of God (which was not at all like modern ideas of the rapture. Jesus had nothing to do with that whatsoever) would arrive in power during the lifetime of people listening to him personally. As in, Jesus' own prediction is over 1900 years late at this point.
Later gospels, once the predictions of The Man had failed, started to fudge things a bit about when exactly the Kingdom would arrive. But they all are built around the idea that it is coming soon.
(Yesterday my boss pointed me towards the website of an atheist guy who has a network of volunteers who will rescue your pets in case of rapture for the low-low upfront fee of $135, good for ten years).
That is awesome! Capitalism, atheism and caring for pets all in one!
Yesssssssss
Feral on
every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
The head honcho of this is doing it all wrong. Successful religious con-men keep making vague predictions that can either never be disproved, or easily shoehorned into any normal occurrence.
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GreenStick around.I'm full of bad ideas.Registered Userregular
The head honcho of this is doing it all wrong. Successful religious con-men keep making vague predictions that can either never be disproved, or easily shoehorned into any normal occurrence.
Well his current track record of failed predictions hasn't really slowed him down
The head honcho of this is doing it all wrong. Successful religious con-men keep making vague predictions that can either never be disproved, or easily shoehorned into any normal occurrence.
Have you seen how old the guy making the predictions is? Whether or not there's a Rapture coming this time he seems like he's not going to make it past one more. In light of that, it makes sense for him to go for broke and see how many people he can bilk, by the time anyone can bring real suit against him he'll probably be long gone.
If the best you can come up with against someone who's patently ignorant is to yell back at him, "Yeah? Well there's BOOKS, and they say you're WRONG!"
Then honestly you're not coming out of this looking great either.
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SpudgeWitty commentsgo next to this blue dot thingyRegistered Userregular
edited May 2011
The rapture better not come
I'm not done restoring my car
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Theoretically invisible, nearly undetectable matter may exist that only interacts with normal matter via gravity. The earth suddenly superimposing itself onto an earthsized planet sized or bigger chunk of it would be catastrophic to say the least.
Of course this is unlikely to the extreme even if mirror matter is prevalent at the same levels as non-mirror matter. It would be an interesting way to end the world though. Everyone suddenly crushed for no apparent reason.
Every dime these fruitcakes sink into publicizing this is money that isn't spent on Republican campaigns and anti-gay legislation.
So I'm all for it. Buy more billboards, please. It's not like there was any chance whatsoever they would have spent this money on something more worthwhile than keeping print/sign/billboard companies in business anyway.
Guess that's true - I'd rather have billboards full of this idiocy than anti-gay billboards.
Oh oh! We should keep doing this!
Let's just set traps for the religious right. After May 21st, let's start some other kind of nonsense campaign for them to sink their money, time and effort in instead of gay rights or education.
The end of the world was a good one. But what's a better one? Preferably one that won't end?
Theoretically invisible, nearly undetectable matter may exist that only interacts with normal matter via gravity. The earth suddenly superimposing itself onto an earthsized planet sized or bigger chunk of it would be catastrophic to say the least.
Of course this is unlikely to the extreme even if mirror matter is prevalent at the same levels as non-mirror matter. It would be an interesting way to end the world though. Everyone suddenly crushed for no apparent reason.
I hope it's highly theoretical because it sounds very silly.
"Because mirror matter is analogous to ordinary matter, it is then to be expected that a fraction of the mirror matter exists in the form of mirror galaxies, mirror stars, mirror planets etc"
Now if it interacts with ordinary matter via gravity, why the hell would it segregate and form its own galaxies in the first place.
Theoretically invisible, nearly undetectable matter may exist that only interacts with normal matter via gravity. The earth suddenly superimposing itself onto an earthsized planet sized or bigger chunk of it would be catastrophic to say the least.
Of course this is unlikely to the extreme even if mirror matter is prevalent at the same levels as non-mirror matter. It would be an interesting way to end the world though. Everyone suddenly crushed for no apparent reason.
I hope it's highly theoretical because it sounds very silly.
"Because mirror matter is analogous to ordinary matter, it is then to be expected that a fraction of the mirror matter exists in the form of mirror galaxies, mirror stars, mirror planets etc"
Now if it interacts with ordinary matter via gravity, why the hell would it segregate and form its own galaxies in the first place.
Well look at what we're doing right now.
I sure as hell wouldn't want to associate with us.
(Yesterday my boss pointed me towards the website of an atheist guy who has a network of volunteers who will rescue your pets in case of rapture for the low-low upfront fee of $135, good for ten years).
The head honcho of this is doing it all wrong. Successful religious con-men keep making vague predictions that can either never be disproved, or easily shoehorned into any normal occurrence.
Hey, come on now. Repeatedly predicting the rapture unsuccessfully didn't stop the Jehovah's Witnesses.
(Yesterday my boss pointed me towards the website of an atheist guy who has a network of volunteers who will rescue your pets in case of rapture for the low-low upfront fee of $135, good for ten years).
God damn, I wish I'd thought of that before.
Pfeh. For the low, low introductory price of $99.95 each, I will approach one atheist after the Rapture and remind them, "Nyah, nyah, [YOUR NAME] Told you so!"
DivideByZero on
First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKERS
Psychotic OneThe Lord of No PantsParts UnknownRegistered Userregular
edited May 2011
I wonder the exact reasoning of expecting it to be that date. I think people are just trying to cram as much end of the worldisms together at this point. Or maybe its some crazed social experiment to see how many people they can get to follow along. The educated have nothing to panic about. We still have dolphins and they'd have warned us if the world was coming to an end.
Theoretically invisible, nearly undetectable matter may exist that only interacts with normal matter via gravity. The earth suddenly superimposing itself onto an earthsized planet sized or bigger chunk of it would be catastrophic to say the least.
Of course this is unlikely to the extreme even if mirror matter is prevalent at the same levels as non-mirror matter. It would be an interesting way to end the world though. Everyone suddenly crushed for no apparent reason.
I hope it's highly theoretical because it sounds very silly.
"Because mirror matter is analogous to ordinary matter, it is then to be expected that a fraction of the mirror matter exists in the form of mirror galaxies, mirror stars, mirror planets etc"
Now if it interacts with ordinary matter via gravity, why the hell would it segregate and form its own galaxies in the first place.
Well look at what we're doing right now.
I sure as hell wouldn't want to associate with us.
Gravity isn't that strong of a force nonlocally, that's like asking why all the matter in the universe doesn't exist in a giant clump. There's a lot of empty space, and variations in the early universe might favor formation of one form over the other in certain regions.
I wonder the exact reasoning of expecting it to be that date.
They're claiming it's the 7,000-year anniversary of Noah's flood.
And that 1,000 years literally equals one day to God.
And that, when God told Noah "The flood will come in seven days," he meant a whole different flood, which wasn't really a flood, would come in 7,000 years, because Noah needed to know that.
And that God was just kidding when he said he wouldn't do it again.
And, of course, that the whole story of Noah's flood happened in the first place.
And that we can accurately trace the entire chronology from the precise date of the flood onward, by, um, JESUS HALLELUJAH!
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Psychotic OneThe Lord of No PantsParts UnknownRegistered Userregular
I wonder the exact reasoning of expecting it to be that date.
They're claiming it's the 7,000-year anniversary of Noah's flood.
And that 1,000 years literally equals one day to God.
And that, when God told Noah "The flood will come in seven days," he meant a whole different flood, which wasn't really a flood, would come in 7,000 years, because Noah needed to know that.
And that God was just kidding when he said he wouldn't do it again.
And, of course, that the whole story of Noah's flood happened in the first place.
And that we can accurately trace the entire chronology from the precise date of the flood onward, by, um, JESUS HALLELUJAH!
Maybe its the disillusioned catholic/christian in me, but I'd love to see the math/science that goes into this theory.
I've been staring at one of these billboards on the highway for months now. I thought it was just some revival thing until I read an article yesterday.
This kind of thing produces two reactions in me, one worse than the other.
1. Sigh. Decide between rolling eyes and pointing/laughing.
2. Hope there IS a God, and He decides to "just happen" to off the idiot at his appointed time. "I'm sick of people claiming to know the end. Anyone else predicting it gets to be right- its THEIR end."
God, the story about the 27 year old and her husband who have a 2 year old and another one expected in june (although one wonders what they believe will happen to that child) made me so sad that they were so gullible and stupid. They literally budgeted their life savings so theyd have nothing left after may 21st. Ugh, those poor kids have to grow up in poverty now because of their stupid gullible parents.
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HonkHonk is this poster.Registered User, __BANNED USERSregular
Theoretically invisible, nearly undetectable matter may exist that only interacts with normal matter via gravity. The earth suddenly superimposing itself onto an earthsized planet sized or bigger chunk of it would be catastrophic to say the least.
Of course this is unlikely to the extreme even if mirror matter is prevalent at the same levels as non-mirror matter. It would be an interesting way to end the world though. Everyone suddenly crushed for no apparent reason.
I hope it's highly theoretical because it sounds very silly.
"Because mirror matter is analogous to ordinary matter, it is then to be expected that a fraction of the mirror matter exists in the form of mirror galaxies, mirror stars, mirror planets etc"
Now if it interacts with ordinary matter via gravity, why the hell would it segregate and form its own galaxies in the first place.
Well look at what we're doing right now.
I sure as hell wouldn't want to associate with us.
Gravity isn't that strong of a force nonlocally, that's like asking why all the matter in the universe doesn't exist in a giant clump. There's a lot of empty space, and variations in the early universe might favor formation of one form over the other in certain regions.
Although it's not at all like asking why all the matter in the universe doesn't exist in a giant clump?
If there is an equal amount of mirror matter, since the start of the universe, then shouldn't that be randomly spread out the same way regular matter is. Is what I'm saying.
If entire mirror galaxies were to exist then something would have had to favor attracting large quantities of only mirror matter together, and that is what I think sounds hella silly.
Honk on
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HonkHonk is this poster.Registered User, __BANNED USERSregular
God, the story about the 27 year old and her husband who have a 2 year old and another one expected in june (although one wonders what they believe will happen to that child) made me so sad that they were so gullible and stupid. They literally budgeted their life savings so theyd have nothing left after may 21st. Ugh, those poor kids have to grow up in poverty now because of their stupid gullible parents.
The only sad part is that children are involved. If there weren't children involved I'd say that the parents were about to learn a valuable hard lesson.
But then I also know that they won't learn anything, and it'll be the same when the next prophesy comes.
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Psychotic OneThe Lord of No PantsParts UnknownRegistered Userregular
God, the story about the 27 year old and her husband who have a 2 year old and another one expected in june (although one wonders what they believe will happen to that child) made me so sad that they were so gullible and stupid. They literally budgeted their life savings so theyd have nothing left after may 21st. Ugh, those poor kids have to grow up in poverty now because of their stupid gullible parents.
The only sad part is that children are involved. If there weren't children involved I'd say that the parents were about to learn a valuable hard lesson.
But then I also know that they won't learn anything, and it'll be the same when the next prophesy comes.
The only reason the rapture didn't happen was because Jesus Christ and The Battle Pope were able to stop Alexander Luthor from merging all the alternate Earths together thus negating the need for God to summon the chosen to heaven. Maybe next time there is a Crisis of Infinite Beliefs.
I imagine on May 22 there will be tons of reasons why the rapture didn't happen but I think the excuse I created is the best. One can only hope child services intervenes if that family really is destitute after this.
I imagine these doomsday scenarios as some sort of deep underground ring of christian conspiracy theorists working a pool. Like, they all promote their day, hoping that will somehow usher in some sort of apocalypse.
And then when Jesus comes back, he's going to look at them and be all, "Okay, who had December 23rd?"
I wonder the exact reasoning of expecting it to be that date.
They're claiming it's the 7,000-year anniversary of Noah's flood.
And that 1,000 years literally equals one day to God.
And that, when God told Noah "The flood will come in seven days," he meant a whole different flood, which wasn't really a flood, would come in 7,000 years, because Noah needed to know that.
And that God was just kidding when he said he wouldn't do it again.
And, of course, that the whole story of Noah's flood happened in the first place.
And that we can accurately trace the entire chronology from the precise date of the flood onward, by, um, JESUS HALLELUJAH!
Maybe its the disillusioned catholic/christian in me, but I'd love to see the math/science that goes into this theory.
doomsday >= x / n pi (3 + lh - c) X m2 x e2 x d2 + 3
I've been staring at one of these billboards on the highway for months now. I thought it was just some revival thing until I read an article yesterday.
There was one of these billboards on my commute to work for the past few months, but recently it was taken down in place of a McDonald's billboard.
I guess they weren't willing to pay for the whole month?
edit: also, Dennis Ritchie has the world ending January 19, 2038 (at 03:14:08 UTC) and I trust him way more than I trust this "Family Radio" asshole.
I've been staring at one of these billboards on the highway for months now. I thought it was just some revival thing until I read an article yesterday.
There was one of these billboards on my commute to work for the past few months, but recently it was taken down in place of a McDonald's billboard.
I guess they weren't willing to pay for the whole month?
edit: also, Dennis Ritchie has the world ending January 19, 2038 (at 03:14:08 UTC) and I trust him way more than I trust this "Family Radio" asshole.
Is this the one where a massive bug or something within programming code will effectively lead to a real y2k? :P
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Family Radio, the organization behind all this, is estimated to be worth about $100 million. I'm sure that once they realize the error, they will liquidate their assets in order to make sure that those harmed by their ministry are able to get their lives back on track.
Also on Steam and PSN: twobadcats
The President unilaterally agrees to give away and destroy the US military arsenal, even though he has no power to do so. He binds the US to a treaty without getting Senate approval. You can apparently fill out a job application to be the pilot for Air Force One, even if you're a civilian.
It was pretty clear that the authors were pretty ignorant of a lot of things. They just wanted to write a book about the Rapture, but decided to forego any research on the real world aspects of their book.
Rigorous Scholarship
Bearing in mind that: 1 year = (From "way back" until "I say so")/7000
Guess that's true - I'd rather have billboards full of this idiocy than anti-gay billboards.
This particular brand of idiocy goes right back to Jesus himself. In the earliest Gospel, Mark, he makes it very clear that the Kingdom of God (which was not at all like modern ideas of the rapture. Jesus had nothing to do with that whatsoever) would arrive in power during the lifetime of people listening to him personally. As in, Jesus' own prediction is over 1900 years late at this point.
Later gospels, once the predictions of The Man had failed, started to fudge things a bit about when exactly the Kingdom would arrive. But they all are built around the idea that it is coming soon.
Yesssssssss
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Well his current track record of failed predictions hasn't really slowed him down
And I think there's a talking lamb. So expect a Lambchop revival at some point.
Ah yes. The real meaning of "hell on Earth" is "The Song The Never Ends"
Have you seen how old the guy making the predictions is? Whether or not there's a Rapture coming this time he seems like he's not going to make it past one more. In light of that, it makes sense for him to go for broke and see how many people he can bilk, by the time anyone can bring real suit against him he'll probably be long gone.
I'm not done restoring my car
PSN - MicroChrist
I'm too fuckin' poor to play
WordsWFriends - zeewoot
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_matter
Theoretically invisible, nearly undetectable matter may exist that only interacts with normal matter via gravity. The earth suddenly superimposing itself onto an earthsized planet sized or bigger chunk of it would be catastrophic to say the least.
Of course this is unlikely to the extreme even if mirror matter is prevalent at the same levels as non-mirror matter. It would be an interesting way to end the world though. Everyone suddenly crushed for no apparent reason.
Oh oh! We should keep doing this!
Let's just set traps for the religious right. After May 21st, let's start some other kind of nonsense campaign for them to sink their money, time and effort in instead of gay rights or education.
The end of the world was a good one. But what's a better one? Preferably one that won't end?
I hope it's highly theoretical because it sounds very silly.
Now if it interacts with ordinary matter via gravity, why the hell would it segregate and form its own galaxies in the first place.
Well look at what we're doing right now.
I sure as hell wouldn't want to associate with us.
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God damn, I wish I'd thought of that before.
Hey, come on now. Repeatedly predicting the rapture unsuccessfully didn't stop the Jehovah's Witnesses.
Pfeh. For the low, low introductory price of $99.95 each, I will approach one atheist after the Rapture and remind them, "Nyah, nyah, [YOUR NAME] Told you so!"
Best thread.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojydNb3Lrrs
...well fuck.
Gravity isn't that strong of a force nonlocally, that's like asking why all the matter in the universe doesn't exist in a giant clump. There's a lot of empty space, and variations in the early universe might favor formation of one form over the other in certain regions.
They're claiming it's the 7,000-year anniversary of Noah's flood.
And that 1,000 years literally equals one day to God.
And that, when God told Noah "The flood will come in seven days," he meant a whole different flood, which wasn't really a flood, would come in 7,000 years, because Noah needed to know that.
And that God was just kidding when he said he wouldn't do it again.
And, of course, that the whole story of Noah's flood happened in the first place.
And that we can accurately trace the entire chronology from the precise date of the flood onward, by, um, JESUS HALLELUJAH!
Maybe its the disillusioned catholic/christian in me, but I'd love to see the math/science that goes into this theory.
1. Sigh. Decide between rolling eyes and pointing/laughing.
2. Hope there IS a God, and He decides to "just happen" to off the idiot at his appointed time. "I'm sick of people claiming to know the end. Anyone else predicting it gets to be right- its THEIR end."
Although it's not at all like asking why all the matter in the universe doesn't exist in a giant clump?
If there is an equal amount of mirror matter, since the start of the universe, then shouldn't that be randomly spread out the same way regular matter is. Is what I'm saying.
If entire mirror galaxies were to exist then something would have had to favor attracting large quantities of only mirror matter together, and that is what I think sounds hella silly.
The only sad part is that children are involved. If there weren't children involved I'd say that the parents were about to learn a valuable hard lesson.
But then I also know that they won't learn anything, and it'll be the same when the next prophesy comes.
The only reason the rapture didn't happen was because Jesus Christ and The Battle Pope were able to stop Alexander Luthor from merging all the alternate Earths together thus negating the need for God to summon the chosen to heaven. Maybe next time there is a Crisis of Infinite Beliefs.
I imagine on May 22 there will be tons of reasons why the rapture didn't happen but I think the excuse I created is the best. One can only hope child services intervenes if that family really is destitute after this.
And then when Jesus comes back, he's going to look at them and be all, "Okay, who had December 23rd?"
doomsday >= x / n pi (3 + lh - c) X m2 x e2 x d2 + 3
See. Very simple.
There was one of these billboards on my commute to work for the past few months, but recently it was taken down in place of a McDonald's billboard.
I guess they weren't willing to pay for the whole month?
edit: also, Dennis Ritchie has the world ending January 19, 2038 (at 03:14:08 UTC) and I trust him way more than I trust this "Family Radio" asshole.
What's this now?
Is this the one where a massive bug or something within programming code will effectively lead to a real y2k? :P
That'll be my 50th birthday.
I think I was born real early in the day too (like 2 or 3 am).
Scary.