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what do i do

WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
edited May 2011 in Social Entropy++
My right hand got bitten and scratched up by a cat earlier today, it's not actually that interesting of a story itself but afterwards there was a lot of warm water and disinfecting involved, and now it's covered in bandages and in a lot of throbbing pain

My problem is this

If I am pooping, how do I wipe without the use of my dominant hand

Pop quiz, hot shot

Whippy on
«134

Posts

  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    sounds like someone doesn't know how to use the three seashells

    Centipede Damascus on
  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Doesn't everyone have a brown person in their home that is used in situations like this?

    Macro9 on
    58pwo4vxupcr.png
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    TheStig on
    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    ...wipe?

    joshofalltrades on
  • BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    What do I do?
    When you
    Are far away?

    And I am blue?
    What do I do?

    BusterK on
    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
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  • ThreadbareSockThreadbareSock Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I am having trouble imagining having such poor use of my non-dominant hand that this would be a problem.

    ThreadbareSock on
  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Stand on the toilet bowl and squat down.

    Do your business and then make an offering to the toilet water gods so they can send a sewage fairy to clean your ass.

    Macro9 on
    58pwo4vxupcr.png
  • JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Wipe with your other hand.

    I had to figure this out when I had shoulder surgery and my dominant arm was in a sling.

    The hardest part, if you are a sitting-wiper, is leaning the other way.

    Jordyn on
    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • ThreadbareSockThreadbareSock Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Macro9 wrote: »
    Stand on the toilet bowl and squat down.

    Do this, with all the power your body can muster. You shouldn't need to wipe then.

    ThreadbareSock on
  • KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2011
  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    People wipe standing up?

    Positively Primitive

    What's next, shitting as you run away from a large feline with aims to make you its dinner?

    Wait

    Macro9 on
    58pwo4vxupcr.png
  • RanlinRanlin Oh gosh Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Man I don't even use my dominant hand for that.

    Ranlin on
  • KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2011
    i just wanted to say, that i had no idea what this thread was going to be about and that regardless of the topic my advice to whippy was going to be stop poopin

    im so happy it turned out to be relevant

    also, whippy?

    no poop threads.
    make him away, tods

    Kusuguttai on
  • ThreadbareSockThreadbareSock Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    ThreadbareSock on
  • DidgeridooDidgeridoo Flighty Dame Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Didgeridoo on
  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Everyone had to learn to wipe for the first time, once

    You just need to do that with your other hand now

    Don't see this as a setback, see it as a chance at a fresh start

    And when you wipe that poop off
    It's like you're toilet training

    yourself

    again

    it'll be

    Butler on
  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Kusuguttai wrote: »
    i just wanted to say, that i had no idea what this thread was going to be about and that regardless of the topic my advice to whippy was going to be stop poopin

    im so happy it turned out to be relevant

    also, whippy?

    no poop threads.
    make him away, tods

    Thus Speaks The Shitlord

    Macro9 on
    58pwo4vxupcr.png
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Centipede Damascus on
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Your arm is covered in bandages.

    Use those.

    Blake T on
  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    edited May 2011
    Jordyn wrote: »
    Wipe with your other hand.

    I had to figure this out when I had shoulder surgery and my dominant arm was in a sling.

    The hardest part, if you are a sitting-wiper, is leaning the other way.

    should've had ben do it, he's into the poop stuff

    Whippy on
  • FavlaudFavlaud just straight up awful Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Favlaud on
  • Wrench N RocketsWrench N Rockets Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Wait till you try to masturbate.

    Wrench N Rockets on
    sig_lambo.jpg
  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Bidet, duh

    Tossrock on
    sig.png
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Favlaud wrote: »

    Some of those sound distinctly 'follow-through'ish...

    Donovan Puppyfucker on
  • FavlaudFavlaud just straight up awful Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    but really, i think this thread brings up a far more important question

    how do blind people know when to stop wiping?

    Favlaud on
  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Favlaud wrote: »
    but really, i think this thread brings up a far more important question

    how do blind people know when to stop wiping?

    taste

    Tossrock on
    sig.png
  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    edited May 2011
    DANIEL GOULART

    Whippy on
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I shouldn't be laughing at that fart video

    I'm a gentleman

    I should find farting terrible

    but when you see that underwear jump a little

    #pipe on
  • FavlaudFavlaud just straight up awful Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    DANIEL GOULART

    hello ryan

    Favlaud on
  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    edited May 2011
    DANIEL I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS

    Whippy on
  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    edited May 2011
    why did you leave me

    Whippy on
  • QuestionMarkManQuestionMarkMan Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    sounds like someone doesn't know how to use the three seashells
    I appreciated this post

    QuestionMarkMan on
  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    edited May 2011
    what are you doing these days daniel

    are you full gay yet

    Whippy on
  • FavlaudFavlaud just straight up awful Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    i did not leave you

    didn't you know distance makes the heart grow fonder

    i am working and living at my father's home in hopes of moving northwesterly

    how are your poops going, if they are still going on

    Favlaud on
  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino Angry as Hell #BLMRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Td5iN.jpg

    obviously.

    fightinfilipino on
    ffNewSig.png
    steam | Dokkan: 868846562
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    wrap your off-hand in an old washcloth that you don't even really use anymore and go to town

    Weaver on
  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    edited May 2011
    Favlaud wrote: »
    i did not leave you

    didn't you know distance makes the heart grow fonder

    i am working and living at my father's home in hopes of moving northwesterly

    how are your poops going, if they are still going on

    Daniel

    I am changed, daniel

    Do you still love me

    Whippy on
  • FavlaudFavlaud just straight up awful Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    sure i guess so

    what, are they bad changes or something

    you are posing questions to me that seem inconsequential in the face of our continued bromance

    Favlaud on
  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    edited May 2011
    Daniel I am actually seriously looking for a roommate, you should move in with us

    Whippy on
  • JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvvvvvv

    <3

    Jordyn on
    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
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