In any event, my target demo -- women -- wear body-fat much better than men. I actually really prefer women with a little meat on their bones.
I constantly struggle with this. I'm not massively obese, but I am overweight. I'm sure more of you here than not would write me off to the "message from a fatty" category, but at the same time I've dated plenty of people who had no issue with it, preferred it, thought I was plenty sexy. And I know that I personally look at profiles and dismiss the too-skinny people and prefer slightly overweight ones, and I'm not the only one. But it's still extremely difficult to get the "he's just settling" or "maybe he's only replying because my pictures are less realistic than I realize" kind of thoughts out of my head.
I remember reading an article about those porn watching statistics that were recently released which found that most men have a 'bbw' fetish pretty much.
the 'fatty' response is mostly due to social pressure. of course morbidly obese people aren't too attractive but a little meat on the bone andor a big ass is pretty awesome. it's frustrating that voluptuous girls have such a lack of confidence and are perpetually suspicious of dudes.
Having grown in a Hispanic enclave of a Hispanic region (Hialeah, in South Florida), I can tell you that Hispanic men really prefer more voluptuous women, and that Hispanic women aren't at all ashamed of having curves. (Of course, all this confidence leads to some women wearing clothing that, erm, doesn't quite suit them, but that's a separate discussion.)
All the black dudes I've known are after heavier-than-average women too. I don't just mean women with a lotta junk in the trunk or what have you, but actual heavyset women.
EDIT: In my (limited) experience, it's really just white dudes (and as a result, white women) who feel women need to be rail thin to be "fit." Of course, white men basically control the media, so that's also the image the culture at large is exposed to.
Dude, what do you think? I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.
But "hotties"? I have to say, it eludes me.
Indeed, just browsing the profiles, the overwhelming majority (95%+) don't even meet my minimum standard for "attractive" never mind the "hotties".
So either my standards are extremely high (which I don't think is the case) or these "hotties" are removed from my search filters or...I don't know...could be that they just aren't there, I suppose.
When I stumble across somebody who's "attractive", I sometimes send a message. They have never replied, though. Focusing on "hotties" (i.e. "an exceptionally attractive woman")...maybe they're using internet dating, but I certainly haven't seen them.
Dude, what do you think? I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.
But "hotties"? I have to say, it eludes me.
Indeed, just browsing the profiles, the overwhelming majority (95%+) don't even meet my minimum standard for "attractive" never mind the "hotties".
So either my standards are extremely high (which I don't think is the case) or these "hotties" are removed from my search filters or...I don't know...could be that they just aren't there, I suppose.
When I stumble across somebody who's "attractive", I sometimes send a message. They have never replied, though. Focusing on "hotties" (i.e. "an exceptionally attractive woman")...maybe they're using internet dating, but I certainly haven't seen them.
i dunno what to tell you
i'm not a published writer, english is my second language, i'm probably no more handsome than you... and my city (philadelphia) is markedly smaller than london
it works for some of us, though
i've met a bunch of girls from OKC (i've never used match or PoF) and never once felt like i was settling because it's the internet
I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty.
I don't mean this as an insult, but none of this really comes across in your posts and sometimes the opposite is apparent. If your profile is anything like what you post here, then I'd have a hard time seeing the brilliance.
It really seems more like you can't understand why other people don't find you as awesome as you think you are. The wrong kind of confidence, so to speak. This is probably why Organichu has more success, because as I've seen in his posts over the years, he comes across as confident without the burden of arrogance.
i'm not a published writer, english is my second language, i'm probably no more handsome than you... and my city (philadelphia) is markedly smaller than london
After searching Philadelphia and the 25 mile radius on Plentyoffish, I've discovered where the confusion lies. Much better looking women there.
I just checked for Asian women because I know what London's Plentyoffish has on offer for Asian women. And while there's only two and a half pages of Asian women online in the past 24 hours in Philadelphia as opposed to a whopping 25 pages in London, I believe there are more "attractive" (in my estimation) in Philadelphia than in London. Plentyoffish-wise, anyway.
I mean, most of the women in Philadelphia were "attractive" (in my estimation). But for London...there are some but they're few and far between. And there were even some genuine "hotties" for Philadelphia. London is totally bereft of Asian "hotties" (on Plentyoffish).
It's interesting and I can't explain it. I'd imagine that most of the Asian women in Philadelphia would be Americans whereas in London, they're mostly...you know...from Asia. So I don't know...maybe this is a factor. Different diets and hygiene standards and whatever.
I refuse to use OkCupid but I'd imagine it's much the same. But the name is stupid and I don't like their obsession with "hot chicks" and whatever. It's alienating. So non-"hot chicks" can't use OkCupid? Believe me, for what little browsing I did there, they're still able to sign up. But it is really insulting and childish, superficial nonsense.
I don't mean this as an insult but you're a big doody head and I don't like you.
I refuse to use OkCupid but I'd imagine it's much the same. But the name is stupid and I don't like their obsession with "hot chicks" and whatever. It's alienating. So non-"hot chicks" can't use OkCupid? Believe me, for what little browsing I did there, they're still able to sign up. But it is really insulting and childish, superficial nonsense.
Like the "attractiveness rating" or whatever thing where if you're deemed "attractive", you get matched to "attractive" people. I don't know exactly how it works but extremely off-putting. I think it's done by some matching thing where you have to pick who is more attractive from two photos. Again, this all goes to what I'm saying.
Probably other things, but I don't use the site so I don't know. But the whole site has a smarmy, unpleasant attitude. With the charts about appearance and whatever too.
LearnedHand, I'm sorry if you get the impression that I don't like you. I have no like or dislike for you. You just come across as being befuddled in regards to why people can't see how brilliant you are. This likely may have something to do with your lack of success in something like online dating. In person it's easier to back up your words with your interpersonal behaviour or other ways of showing talent and accomplishment. In an online context, people have less tolerance for arrogance because it's all the more empty when limited to words.
I can attest that it's not that heavy a burden. :P
I suppose I'm referring to it being more of an indicator of insecurity.
Lucid on
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OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
edited May 2011
NOW THIS THREAD IS GETTING SOMEWHERE!
LH, you should probably see a behavioral therapist.
OnTheLastCastle on
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surrealitychecklonely, but not unloveddreaming of faulty keys and latchesRegistered Userregular
edited May 2011
After searching Philadelphia and the 25 mile radius on Plentyoffish, I've discovered where the confusion lies. Much better looking women there.
Internet dating is much less culturally accepted here. Virtually nobody I know does it. It's viewed as the province of nerds, unlike totally unnerdy things like facebook cough cough
Like the "attractiveness rating" or whatever thing where if you're deemed "attractive", you get matched to "attractive" people. I don't know exactly how it works but extremely off-putting. I think it's done by some matching thing where you have to pick who is more attractive from two photos. Again, this all goes to what I'm saying.
Not in the way that LH has presented it, no. A quick google search pulled up this
Dating site OkCupid sent an e-mail to some of its users late last week informing them that they’ve been placed in the top half of users in terms of attractiveness by its algorithms.
...The e-mail (which was sent by the “OkCupid Summer Interns”) specified that the determinations were made through analysis of clicks on users’ photos and reactions in the Quiver and QuickMatch features.
Like the "attractiveness rating" or whatever thing where if you're deemed "attractive", you get matched to "attractive" people. I don't know exactly how it works but extremely off-putting. I think it's done by some matching thing where you have to pick who is more attractive from two photos. Again, this all goes to what I'm saying.
Is this a thing?
He's talking about the My Best Face thing, which is a tool designed to help you determine which of your photos make good profile photos by comparing to other peoples' who are submitted in a similar manner.
Now, that being said, there is a global rating system thing in OKC - pretty sure it's based off of the stars thing which people can use on profiles. Only A-List folks (ie, paid members) can see the ratings, apparently. Found this out in a reddit thread.
I am currently involved in what feels like the beginning to a hipster romance movie.
Just waiting for the band t-shirt trade, and the inevitable bittersweet parting of ways, followed by an ambiguous ending dialogue as I look up at the sky.
Dude, what do you think? I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.
But "hotties"? I have to say, it eludes me.
Indeed, just browsing the profiles, the overwhelming majority (95%+) don't even meet my minimum standard for "attractive" never mind the "hotties".
So either my standards are extremely high (which I don't think is the case) or these "hotties" are removed from my search filters or...I don't know...could be that they just aren't there, I suppose.
When I stumble across somebody who's "attractive", I sometimes send a message. They have never replied, though. Focusing on "hotties" (i.e. "an exceptionally attractive woman")...maybe they're using internet dating, but I certainly haven't seen them.
some part of me still thinks its the screencap of the gun aim you guys swore would work but i dunno, i get tons of views though.
i have a gun pic on my profile
so
much
pussy
yeah i saw.. i think its the location to be honest (uk here, gun laws are pretty strict) or pentlyoffish just sucks, pondering making a okcupid account.
then again i haven't really been proactive about sending messages out, just replying to ones i get, so maybe that fault lies with me. probably.
I don't know how to make an interesting profile right now. It's hard to bullshit "working at Walmart until I go to school full-time in the fall" into something more appealing. It's doesn't help that my brother and half of our friends up and moved to the other side of the country. The ones that are still here are busy with school or work, and my closest friend is working two jobs now. So, not much of a social life right now.
On the plus side, I shaved my large, unkempt beard.
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OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
edited May 2011
What are you passionate about? Is your life just job, sleep, job, sleep?
You don't have to mention where you work if it's a place you're not fond of or take pride in. Just mention you're working retail and going to school full time soon. There's nothing wrong with that. People don't generally care too much about the specifics of these things, unless it's particularly unique or interesting. Employment is to represent stability or security for most people(even then,as long as you have something going on for your future). You wouldn't want to be with someone who looked at you through the eyes of status, would you?
Focus more on other areas of your life you enjoy and find interesting. Not everyone has something with these aspects going on in every area of their life. It's pretty uncommon.
Posts
I remember reading an article about those porn watching statistics that were recently released which found that most men have a 'bbw' fetish pretty much.
the 'fatty' response is mostly due to social pressure. of course morbidly obese people aren't too attractive but a little meat on the bone andor a big ass is pretty awesome. it's frustrating that voluptuous girls have such a lack of confidence and are perpetually suspicious of dudes.
WARNING: ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE INCOMING
Having grown in a Hispanic enclave of a Hispanic region (Hialeah, in South Florida), I can tell you that Hispanic men really prefer more voluptuous women, and that Hispanic women aren't at all ashamed of having curves. (Of course, all this confidence leads to some women wearing clothing that, erm, doesn't quite suit them, but that's a separate discussion.)
All the black dudes I've known are after heavier-than-average women too. I don't just mean women with a lotta junk in the trunk or what have you, but actual heavyset women.
EDIT: In my (limited) experience, it's really just white dudes (and as a result, white women) who feel women need to be rail thin to be "fit." Of course, white men basically control the media, so that's also the image the culture at large is exposed to.
Dude, what do you think? I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.
But "hotties"? I have to say, it eludes me.
Indeed, just browsing the profiles, the overwhelming majority (95%+) don't even meet my minimum standard for "attractive" never mind the "hotties".
So either my standards are extremely high (which I don't think is the case) or these "hotties" are removed from my search filters or...I don't know...could be that they just aren't there, I suppose.
When I stumble across somebody who's "attractive", I sometimes send a message. They have never replied, though. Focusing on "hotties" (i.e. "an exceptionally attractive woman")...maybe they're using internet dating, but I certainly haven't seen them.
i dunno what to tell you
i'm not a published writer, english is my second language, i'm probably no more handsome than you... and my city (philadelphia) is markedly smaller than london
it works for some of us, though
i've met a bunch of girls from OKC (i've never used match or PoF) and never once felt like i was settling because it's the internet
It really seems more like you can't understand why other people don't find you as awesome as you think you are. The wrong kind of confidence, so to speak. This is probably why Organichu has more success, because as I've seen in his posts over the years, he comes across as confident without the burden of arrogance.
After searching Philadelphia and the 25 mile radius on Plentyoffish, I've discovered where the confusion lies. Much better looking women there.
I just checked for Asian women because I know what London's Plentyoffish has on offer for Asian women. And while there's only two and a half pages of Asian women online in the past 24 hours in Philadelphia as opposed to a whopping 25 pages in London, I believe there are more "attractive" (in my estimation) in Philadelphia than in London. Plentyoffish-wise, anyway.
I mean, most of the women in Philadelphia were "attractive" (in my estimation). But for London...there are some but they're few and far between. And there were even some genuine "hotties" for Philadelphia. London is totally bereft of Asian "hotties" (on Plentyoffish).
It's interesting and I can't explain it. I'd imagine that most of the Asian women in Philadelphia would be Americans whereas in London, they're mostly...you know...from Asia. So I don't know...maybe this is a factor. Different diets and hygiene standards and whatever.
I refuse to use OkCupid but I'd imagine it's much the same. But the name is stupid and I don't like their obsession with "hot chicks" and whatever. It's alienating. So non-"hot chicks" can't use OkCupid? Believe me, for what little browsing I did there, they're still able to sign up. But it is really insulting and childish, superficial nonsense.
Well, at least you didn't mean it as an insult.
What are you taking about?
Like the "attractiveness rating" or whatever thing where if you're deemed "attractive", you get matched to "attractive" people. I don't know exactly how it works but extremely off-putting. I think it's done by some matching thing where you have to pick who is more attractive from two photos. Again, this all goes to what I'm saying.
Probably other things, but I don't use the site so I don't know. But the whole site has a smarmy, unpleasant attitude. With the charts about appearance and whatever too.
I suppose I'm referring to it being more of an indicator of insecurity.
LH, you should probably see a behavioral therapist.
Internet dating is much less culturally accepted here. Virtually nobody I know does it. It's viewed as the province of nerds, unlike totally unnerdy things like facebook cough cough
http://mashable.com/2010/05/25/okcupid-dating/
He's talking about the My Best Face thing, which is a tool designed to help you determine which of your photos make good profile photos by comparing to other peoples' who are submitted in a similar manner.
Now, that being said, there is a global rating system thing in OKC - pretty sure it's based off of the stars thing which people can use on profiles. Only A-List folks (ie, paid members) can see the ratings, apparently. Found this out in a reddit thread.
Just waiting for the band t-shirt trade, and the inevitable bittersweet parting of ways, followed by an ambiguous ending dialogue as I look up at the sky.
...but seriously, this girl's pretty cool.
but I use internet dating
some part of me still thinks its the screencap of the gun aim you guys swore would work but i dunno, i get tons of views though.
http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showpost.php?p=14507593&postcount=716
i have a gun pic on my profile
so
much
pussy
yeah i saw.. i think its the location to be honest (uk here, gun laws are pretty strict) or pentlyoffish just sucks, pondering making a okcupid account.
then again i haven't really been proactive about sending messages out, just replying to ones i get, so maybe that fault lies with me. probably.
Don't forget the Israeli accent. That's up there with Scottish and French.
I am the proud owner of several terrible fake accents
My southern accent sounds like JFK. I've either had an attempt at an Indian accent sound Irtish or vice-versa.
everything i try eventually devolves (within the first couple of sentences) into apu from the simpsons
...yeah, I know. Doesn't really help.
It might be a problem if you like black women.
It doesn't? Hmm.
On the plus side, I shaved my large, unkempt beard.
Focus more on other areas of your life you enjoy and find interesting. Not everyone has something with these aspects going on in every area of their life. It's pretty uncommon.