Aftermath Comic Series

AftermathReviews · June 2011

Hey everyone,

I work for AftermathReviews.com and we're starting to post comics relevant to articles/reviews we're posting.

The site has a post apocalyptic feel to it so the comic style was supposed to take on the same vibe.

This is what I came up with.

If you can think of something to improve the overall look or a different approach that would fit with the site I'd appreciate it.

Thanks!

edit: This is the new version, please let me know if you like this over the other previous style below

Old versions

NakedZergling · June 2011

the background is busier than the art...prob not a good sign.
The devil may cry comic...i don't get it..shouldn't the joke/reveal/whatever, be the new dante? The joke is over panel 1.
The last one...i didn't even catch that the guys were supposed to be microsoft and sony.

I find the font distracting.

I dunno. I don't feel the writing isn't great, and the art is too minimal. Ive seen much worse, but i still don't think i would call this good.

If you're going to stay black and white, you should really get some solid blacks in there. the figures don't read very clearly

NakedZergling · June 2011

my bad

AftermathReviews · June 2011

NakedZergling wrote: »

the background is busier than the art...prob not a good sign.
The devil may cry comic...i don't get it..shouldn't the joke/reveal/whatever, be the new dante? The joke is over panel 1.
The last one...i didn't even catch that the guys were supposed to be microsoft and sony.

I find the font distracting.

I dunno. I don't feel the writing isn't great, and the art is too minimal. Ive seen much worse, but i still don't think i would call this good.

If you're going to stay black and white, you should really get some solid blacks in there. the figures don't read very clearly

Thanks. So if I made the background maybe white crumpled paper instead of parchment? I know cleaning it up will make it easier to read I just want a way to still make it look mmm "dated" and old. As if you found it on the side of the road 50 years from now all dirtied up. I also was trying to get some unique going and not just a typical web-comic. Give it a feel that matches the site. Working on the writing is a must. So far this as been more of a buffer to get the art style down and I haven't been working on the concept art (though the inFamous one I tried a little harder).

I am not colour artist by any means so I've avoided shittying it up with my colour fill skills but maybe adding colour is a must with that background.

AftermathReviews · June 2011

NakedZergling wrote: »

Oh

PS
sorry if this come off bitchy, but if you're here to try to get hits for your site, and not actually improve your art, then you need to move along.
BUT if you're looking to really improve, then this is the place to be.

Nope not here for hits. Tried to avoid any live links for that very reason. But to get a feel for the site and the "look" I'm trying to keep consistent I wanted to state which site it was.

tynic · June 2011

... yeah I see no evidence that he's here to sitewhore, kind of uncalled-for.

I actually like the art, especially in the first one. There's a nice easy flow to the lines. But I agree that the background is competing badly with your pictures. It's possible that, with some tweaking, you could make it work - but the speech bubbles and font would need to be better integrated with everything else. Basically right now it feels like a bit of an aesthetic jumble.

edit: if you want to make it look old, you should apply the paper as a texture, not just use it as a background. The problem is that you have a parchment background, sketchy-but-obviously-digital lines, and very clean digital speech bubbles (with a terrible font). That doesn't seem 'old', it just seems computer generated. If you apply some crumpled paper or parchment as a texture, then the lines and the background and the bubble fill will be more integrated, and share that elderly look, although I think you should probably still reconsider the font.

AftermathReviews · June 2011

tynic wrote: »

... yeah I see no evidence that he's here to sitewhore, kind of uncalled-for.

I actually like the art, especially in the first one. There's a nice easy flow to the lines. But I agree that the background is competing badly with your pictures. It's possible that, with some tweaking, you could make it work - but the speech bubbles and font would need to be better integrated with everything else. Basically right now it feels like a bit of an aesthetic jumble.

edit: if you want to make it look old, you should apply the paper as a texture, not just use it as a background. The problem is that you have a parchment background, sketchy-but-obviously-digital lines, and very clean digital panels (with a terrible font). That doesn't seem 'old', it just seems computer generated. If you apply some crumpled paper or parchment as a texture, then the lines and the background and the bubble fill will be more integrated, and share that elderly look, although I think you should probably still reconsider the font.

Thanks! Agreed...the font has to go! Any suggestions for a replacement? Making a texture over the images instead of the background is a great idea. I should probably make the background white in that case then. I wanted to kind of find a happy medium between sketchy and digital. I'm going to try and keep the style I have currently with the texture over top and see of that helps.

m3nace · June 2011

AnimeAce is a good replacement.
http://www.dafont.com/anim-ace.font

AftermathReviews · June 2011

Alright so I tried to make the background a little less prominent while still leaving some sort of similarity in it.

Better?

Working on replacing the fonts now.

AftermathReviews · June 2011

Tried to suggested font out and I messed with the look a little more. Changed it to more black and white...

thoughts?

Thanks for all the feedback

amateurhour · June 2011

That is 20 times better.

Your art is pretty solid, the joke was funny, you add backgrounds (which something I always have problems with), and the new color scheme is much, much better.

In short, it's good. The new font choice works well.

AftermathReviews · June 2011

amateurhour wrote: »

That is 20 times better.

Your art is pretty solid, the joke was funny, you add backgrounds (which something I always have problems with), and the new color scheme is much, much better.

In short, it's good. The new font choice works well.

Thanks! Glad that the change is good. Hope to get some more crits. Going to try and continue to improve. This is a great place for that!

AftermathReviews · June 2011

Here is the newest comic... I chose to go with the parchmenty look only because it fits the site a little better. Though if everyone HATES it then I will just do the straight white paper background.

Thanks!

McGibs · June 2011

You forgot the constant sex noises.

AftermathReviews · June 2011

Aw yes, the sex noises! Back in the day that's all she said... that and "no"

Here is yet another comic, again..still trying to improve so crits are MORE than welcomed.

McGibs · June 2011

feat, not feet.

AftermathReviews · June 2011

McGibs wrote: »

feat, not feet.

Thanks!

Missed that.

nakirush · June 2011

What are you talkin' 'bout, McGibs? I'd try to defeet zombies, too. If they got no feet, they can't chase me!

Just wanted to drop in and say good job on taking the advice and striving to improve. I'm always a little scared when I see a new comic topic started. This is a refreshing change. Thank you.

Toji Suzuhara · June 2011

Text placement could be a lot better. As a general rule of thumb, you should keep the balloons inside the frames so they don't interfere with the sequentiality of the panels. The yellow box title thing is probably the worst offender. You shouldn't be putting text you're supposed to read first stretching between two panels when there are other pieces of text to read in the first panel. I'd put the yellow box as the title of the comic where you have the URL (Put the URL at the bottom right) so it's the top-leftmost piece of text. That makes it unambiguous that it's the first thing you should be reading.

You should sketch your bubbles into the compositions so you can design around where they'll be. It'll help your placement a lot. Improving the immediate clarity of the read will help your jokes, too.

AftermathReviews · June 2011

nakirush wrote: »

What are you talkin' 'bout, McGibs? I'd try to defeet zombies, too. If they got no feet, they can't chase me!

Just wanted to drop in and say good job on taking the advice and striving to improve. I'm always a little scared when I see a new comic topic started. This is a refreshing change. Thank you.

Thanks! Much appreciated. Hopefully the end result will be something really good! I've always wanted to start up a comic and now that I have the site I finally have a place for it.

AftermathReviews · June 2011

Toji Suzuhara wrote: »

Text placement could be a lot better. As a general rule of thumb, you should keep the balloons inside the frames so they don't interfere with the sequentiality of the panels. The yellow box title thing is probably the worst offender. You shouldn't be putting text you're supposed to read first stretching between two panels when there are other pieces of text to read in the first panel. I'd put the yellow box as the title of the comic where you have the URL (Put the URL at the bottom right) so it's the top-leftmost piece of text. That makes it unambiguous that it's the first thing you should be reading.

You should sketch your bubbles into the compositions so you can design around where they'll be. It'll help your placement a lot. Improving the immediate clarity of the read will help your jokes, too.

Thanks for the tips! I'm going to try and sketch the bubbles in first from now on. For now I edited the previous one to maybe work a little better as you suggested. Let me know if I missed something though. Thanks again.

Penny Arcade

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