The image size limit has been raised to 1mb! Anything larger than that should be linked to. This is a HARD limit, please do not abuse it.
Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!

Condoms are Killing My Love Life

2»

Posts

  • VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Munacra wrote: »
    How will the use of a condom all of a sudden prevent the transmission of syphilis, if the OP has it?

    http://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/latex.htm

    While it isn't 100% it is far, far more effective than saying fuck it and not using one.

    VisionOfClarity on
  • MunacraMunacra Registered User
    edited July 2011
    Genital ulcer diseases include genital herpes, syphilis, and chancroid. These diseases are transmitted primarily through “skin-to-skin” contact from sores/ulcers or infected skin that looks normal. HPV infections are transmitted through contact with infected genital skin or mucosal surfaces/secretions. Genital ulcer diseases and HPV infection can occur in male or female genital areas that are covered (protected by the condom) as well as those areas that are not.

    I give up. You win.
    Protection against genital ulcer diseases and HPV depends on the site of the sore/ulcer or infection. Latex condoms can only protect against transmission when the ulcers or infections are in genital areas that are covered or protected by the condom. Thus, consistent and correct use of latex condoms would be expected to protect against transmission of genital ulcer diseases and HPV in some, but not all, instances.

    So yeah, the OP should not be tested, and everything I said was wrong, and I'm apparently arguing against the universal use of condoms against my own best judgement, and I obviously don't know how to read.

    Munacra on
  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    ceres wrote: »
    You know, it's not just about him getting tested to prove anything, either. If they aren't exclusive it's just as much for his protection.

    Exactly

    As inconvenient as they may be, if you're not exclusive but want to sex it up it's better for both of their sakes to use condoms

    Usagi on
  • DockenDocken Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Ok how about chemical help?

    This could be a situation where viagra might be a good option (if you can get it for this sort of thing?)... also I bet if you get used to sex with a condom whilst using some help, you might not need it after awhile?

    Docken on
  • ShogunShogun Hair long; money long; me and broke wizards we don't get along Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    said this many times but I'll say it again

    Beyond7

    Made in Japan from Sheerlon. Its latex but its thinner, more durable, and transfers heat much better. I broke just about every condom I tried until I found these, and I do not believe my dick is huge by any measure. Can find them at most sex shops and online.

    protip: buy some of the studded ones and surprise her one night

    Shogun on
  • Mes3Mes3 Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Lube on the condom isn't just an issue because the condom might slip off: like Skoal Cat mentioned, you can weaken the condom and increase the chance that it breaks.

    WATER BASED LUBRICANT WILL NOT WEAKEN A CONDOM.....

    The two I mentioned are safe for condom use. It says so on the bottle.

    Also, most (if not all!) lubricated condoms are lubed inside and out. You just want more for the tip of your dick. Hell, I think the KY Silk bottle tells you do put some inside the condom before putting it on.

    Mes3 on
    http://rjnewman.blogspot.com/ | Follow me on instagram @ messiah3x
  • RikushixRikushix Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Shogun wrote: »
    said this many times but I'll say it again

    Beyond7

    Made in Japan from Sheerlon. Its latex but its thinner, more durable, and transfers heat much better. I broke just about every condom I tried until I found these, and I do not believe my dick is huge by any measure. Can find them at most sex shops and online.

    protip: buy some of the studded ones and surprise her one night

    I'll second this and say I've heard some insanely good things about Beyond7, so give those a shot

    Rikushix on
    StKbT.jpg
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2011
    ceres wrote: »
    I understand the problem and the concern with condoms, but I'm with the people who are going "uh, wtf, not cool" at her reaction. She's taken issue with something commonly put down to nerves, and handling it by... putting a ton of pressure on you and if you don't perform now she walks? It's not the demand for protection, but the lack of patience and willingness to issue such an ultimatum that bothers me.

    I would honestly think about cutting this one loose.

    Alternatively, she's being clear and honest with him about what she wants. How is that a bad thing? Why should she compromise for his sake if she wants a relationship with sex? There's nothing wrong with being clear about what you want in the relationship whether you're looking for a partner to fuck your feet because that really gets you off or you want a partner that never touches your neck. She knows what she wants and she's being honest about it. That's a good thing.

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited July 2011
    Druhim wrote: »
    ceres wrote: »
    I understand the problem and the concern with condoms, but I'm with the people who are going "uh, wtf, not cool" at her reaction. She's taken issue with something commonly put down to nerves, and handling it by... putting a ton of pressure on you and if you don't perform now she walks? It's not the demand for protection, but the lack of patience and willingness to issue such an ultimatum that bothers me.

    I would honestly think about cutting this one loose.

    Alternatively, she's being clear and honest with him about what she wants. How is that a bad thing? Why should she compromise for his sake if she wants a relationship with sex? There's nothing wrong with being clear about what you want in the relationship whether you're looking for a partner to fuck your feet because that really gets you off or you want a partner that never touches your neck. She knows what she wants and she's being honest about it. That's a good thing.

    That is one way to look at it, and it's not a bad one at all, if you replace "don't ever touch my neck" with "this thing that is often down to nerves is bothering me, so the pressure of knowing that I will leave you for being nervous should help that." There are better ways to do this than issuing an ultimatum, such as taking the time to experiment with different condoms, time of day, alcohol consumption, etc. As far as I'm concerned, the condoms are a red herring. The problem is that she seems to not care enough to work through it with him, and if she can't give that kind of a shit then chances are she's not that interested in a real relationship with him no matter what he does. If that's the case, I think the part of him that's thinking of telling her to fuck off for bringing it down to this is spot-on, and probably the part he should listen to.

    There are obviously details we don't have here, but I don't think I would consider a relationship that starts with an ultimatum, and if that's what the OP is ultimately looking for then I would seriously consider either keeping this thing strictly casual and staying emotionally detached or moving on altogether.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    Dear satan


  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Munacra wrote: »
    The fact that she's on the pill is irrelevant save for the fact that it is an additional method of protection.

    Just try to get used to the condoms and forget about the fact that she's on the pill. It may make you feel like it's not entirely necessary if you dwell on it, when really you should be using them each time anyway.

    In what parallel universe are we that 99.9% efficacy against unwanted pregnancy makes the pill irrelevant?

    When I say it's irrelevant, I mean he should be wearing condoms regardless of whether she's on the pill or not, even if they're both tested.

    Thinking about the fact that she is on the pill might make it seem more acceptable to suggest going without condoms when it isn't.

    Also, like it's been mentioned, they're not exclusive. Not wearing a condom is just dumbassed behaviour in that case.

    Rear Admiral Choco on
    2WJtdLD.png
  • spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Have you considered being exclusive instead?

    spool32 on
  • GorkGork Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    While at this particular junction in my life (I'm looking for a relationship), I wouldn't mind being exclusive after so short a period of time, I don't tend to date women who feel that way. Most women in my area are known for being independent, which is a quality I appreciate. I also do appreciate the fact that she is being honest and upfront about what she needs. It also probably doesn't help that she knows about my prior reputation and that I couched the issue in, "I'm not used to using condoms."

    Gork on
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited July 2011
    If you made it a condom issue and you don't think it's a condom issue, you should probably be communicative of that.

    Try some of the suggestions floating around here, and try not to drink beforehand and to get started a little earlier, and see if it helps.

    If she won't give you the time or the chance I wouldn't cry too much about it, though.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    Dear satan


  • grendlegrendle Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Why have you not tried the female condom? I would have thought that would help.

    grendle on
  • GorkGork Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    So, update.

    We went to a mutual friend's bday happy hour. Hung out, I tried to ask her to dinner to make up for all the crap, she says we should go outside and talk. We do, she explains how attracted she is to me and how awesome she thinks I am, but that it is completely frustrating that she has thus far been unable to get me off(yes, she has tried oral, but that's only gotten me off twice in my life, I'm fucking difficult) and really a deal-breaker. She wants to be able to jump me whenever. And condoms are important for pretty much every single reason you guys have listed. I don't think my prior behavior is acceptable, I'm just an irrepressible asshole. I tell her I understand that and I totally respect it (I do, sex is really important) but that I'm not willing to give up on how awesome it is when we are together, besides the sex part. I also explain that part of it is also due to the fact that I like her a lot and that I'm not used to that. She's never heard that affects guys before and was fairly dubious, but I can't blame her because I bullshit a lot.

    So, I convince her to give me one last chance. A week from today, she wants to meet up and have sex. No dinner, no drinks. Just sex. Yeah, no pressure. We kiss, things are good, she's smiling at me again, birdies chirp.

    While I have had some success of the past week messing around with condoms, I'm unfortunately not willing to leave this one up to my ability to battle my subconscious. Like I said, I'm in really good shape with no history of heart disease in my family, so I plan on procuring viagra from a trusted source. I know this is an awfully deceitful foot to start something serious off on, but frankly, my subconscious does not play fair, so I see no reason why I should, either.

    Not the happiest ending, but hopefully things work out.

    Gork on
  • Feels Good ManFeels Good Man Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    lol this is absolutely fucking ridiculous you realize

    give me one last chance to not have performance issues!! i'm sure this won't cause any!! time to commit a crime so I can deceive someone into thinking I have a hard on!

    this has all the makings of a sit com, and much like a sit com, isn't funny


    edit: but, yes, as I am a terrible person, I would have probably done the same thing.

    Feels Good Man on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2011
    great, so you're going to rely on viagra to "save" your relationship with this girl

    that is, to put it mildly, balls out retarded

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited July 2011
    I'm just going to go ahead and lock this thread before I feel any worse about humanity.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    Dear satan


2»
This discussion has been closed.