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[chat]craft 2

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Posts

  • gundam470gundam470 Drunk Gorilla CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    That Peter Gabriel cover is pretty great.

    gorillaSig.jpg
  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    Hearing that song, thinking of my mom.

    Yeah, that's a mood killer.

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
  • tyrannustyrannus i am not fat Registered User regular
    i just drink heavily

  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    gundam470 wrote:
    That Peter Gabriel cover is pretty great.

    Yeah I heard it on the john carter trailer and it really fit the tone of the trailer.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • EddyEddy Gengar the Bittersweet Registered User regular
    Abdhyius wrote:
    Organichu wrote:
    I guess I haven't brought it up because I've got enough going on trying to forge a career path and get diagnosed drugs that will help me. But I'm now a week away from the fifth anniversary of my mom's passing. It's going to be a struggle. I kind of don't want to mention it to this litany of psychiatrists/psychologists, because I don't want them to start trying to mix depression into my diagnosis and fuck up my prescription.

    man ain't nothing about being sad that is an illness need to be treated

    The american psychiatric community will medicate for ANYTHING

    "and the morning stars I have seen
    and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Well I am hoping for a prescription of a pure stimulant like Adderall because that's what's worked for me in the past. I'm concerned that if I mix in my ADD complaints with 'oh and I'm bummed about my mom...' they're gonna try to get me on Lexapro or something or one of those mixed things like Strattera.

  • EddyEddy Gengar the Bittersweet Registered User regular
    Kagera wrote:
    This song makes me weep.

    Cause, y'know, who doesn't know someone who's died of cancer?

    I actually really liked that album, fuck the haters

    "and the morning stars I have seen
    and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
  • SenjutsuSenjutsu thot enthusiast Registered User regular
    Organichu wrote:
    I guess I haven't brought it up because I've got enough going on trying to forge a career path and get diagnosed drugs that will help me. But I'm now a week away from the fifth anniversary of my mom's passing. It's going to be a struggle. I kind of don't want to mention it to this litany of psychiatrists/psychologists, because I don't want them to start trying to mix depression into my diagnosis and fuck up my prescription.

    :(

    I'm here for you if you need to talk or anything.

  • 21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    Alright, [chat], you're probably tired of my shit by now, but I just have to say something. I'm just unable to deal with the... depression? Sadness? I don't know. It hurts inside and I have more and more trouble dealing with this. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in about 2 weeks, I think. Don't tell me to contact a mental health professional: That's coming in time.

    I feel terrible, and I feel terrible more often. I feel incredibly lonely, and with cause. I simply don't seem to have any friends, I don't go out, I feel very uneasy in public. It's been like that for years and years and it's just steadily grown. And now I'm at a point where I don't go outside at all, where I don't have friends, where I feel uneasy even at home, where everything makes me flinch.

    I'm very scared. I'm very scared because I'm at a point where I could die, I could take my own life and all of 3 people would notice. I'm no one. I'm no one at all and it scares me. I'm lonely and I'm unable to get out of that situation. I feel like I need to say that to as many people as possible here. Maybe that way, I could get some attention, if not quality, some quantity of people could care about me, but I understand at the same time that it doesn't work that way. I can't just act like that for sympathy, it's not helping, but at the same time, it makes me feel a little better.

    Sorry again, I just need to get this all off my chest. Otherwise, well... I don't even know what then.

    Thanks for you kind ears eyes, I guess.

  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    The EVO matches are starting to get insanely good now :D

  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    There's this thing called a 5150, I think you might need it dude.

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
  • 21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    Kagera wrote:
    There's this thing called a 5150, I think you might need it dude.

    What's a 5150?

  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    Echo wrote:
    Doomsday was such a silly villain.

    He was created by tossing a baby out into the wild. It got killed by whatever. Scrape up some remains, make a clone, repeat a billion times and apparently you end up with Doomsday.

    It's survival of the fittest piece of dead cloned baby.

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  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    21st: *hugs* I know I'm just a dude on the internet so, this only means so much but: You're good people, I hope you get the help that you need and deserve.

  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    Kagera wrote:
    There's this thing called a 5150, I think you might need it dude.

    What's a 5150?

    It's basically where you are taken immediately into psychiatric care because you pose an imminent threat to yourself and get the care you need without waiting.

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Richy wrote:

    It's survival of the fittest piece of dead cloned baby.

    And the murderer of my gall bladder emerges. KILLED ANYONE ELSES ORGANS YOU SON OF A BITCH?

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • 21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    Richy wrote:
    Echo wrote:
    Doomsday was such a silly villain.

    He was created by tossing a baby out into the wild. It got killed by whatever. Scrape up some remains, make a clone, repeat a billion times and apparently you end up with Doomsday.

    It's survival of the fittest piece of dead cloned baby.

    That's not how it works, damnit. It's like post-mortem lamarckian evolution. Why couldn't it just be magic? It'd make more sense.

  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    Richy wrote:
    Echo wrote:
    Doomsday was such a silly villain.

    He was created by tossing a baby out into the wild. It got killed by whatever. Scrape up some remains, make a clone, repeat a billion times and apparently you end up with Doomsday.

    It's survival of the fittest piece of dead cloned baby.

    That babby instained mother alright...instained mother hard.

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
  • EchoEcho ski-bap ba-dapModerator mod
    That's not how it works, damnit. It's like post-mortem lamarckian evolution. Why couldn't it just be magic? It'd make more sense.

    Lamarck! That's the name I couldn't quite remember.

  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Senjutsu wrote:
    Organichu wrote:
    I guess I haven't brought it up because I've got enough going on trying to forge a career path and get diagnosed drugs that will help me. But I'm now a week away from the fifth anniversary of my mom's passing. It's going to be a struggle. I kind of don't want to mention it to this litany of psychiatrists/psychologists, because I don't want them to start trying to mix depression into my diagnosis and fuck up my prescription.

    :(

    I'm here for you if you need to talk or anything.

    !

    Thanks.

    I am just like, frustrated with this situation. When my mom died I was three weeks from entering college. I fucked up then (which was partially the blues and, in retrospect, some of these ADD tendencies and behaviours). I was hoping I could do better than that by now? Like, five years later, seeing how excited she was at my high school graduation. She took me in when she was in her sixties. She sure as shit didn't need to- she'd raised her kids, and had the right to retire, but she didn't. And at 65, 66, 67 she walked me to school and helped me with homework even though she was a grade school dropout in the 1940s. And now I am just like- ugh, do something with all of those sacrifices, right?

    I try to keep a balance. I come from Roast Beef esque Circumstances, and some stuff isn't my fault. I had a weird upbringing and not a constant home. That sucks. I didn't have the financial ability to focus on school, I had to work- that sucks. But it's not all Circumstances, yeah? For the parts that I am responsible, I want to own up to them and be accountable.

    But it's so hard with this stupid mental malaise. I am 99% sure now I have ADD or a related disorder. Nobody took my struggling seriously as a kid because I was sort of smart. For my low class family, the fact that I managed to graduate meant I clearly didn't have a serious problem. But this goes back as far as I can remember, really. I feel smarter than my brain chemistry is allowing me to be.

    I am pretty sure I could cover some serious ground, enrich myself, further my financial prospects, and be a more productive and happy person if I could just get some help with whatever wonky shit's going on in my brain. I would like the chance, at least, to try, without dancing around psychiatrists who ask stilted, from-a-paper questions and sound like they have little interest in my problems.

  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    I am not a threat to myself or others. I have zero destructive (self or external) tendencies whatsoever.

  • EchoEcho ski-bap ba-dapModerator mod
    5 am hrrrrrgh

  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    @Organichu I wouldn't worry too much about them over-inferring. It's natural that you'll be bummed out because of your mom. If anything, you should mention, as that will explain why you may be showing any unconscious signs of being in a down place.

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • 21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    Kagera wrote:
    Kagera wrote:
    There's this thing called a 5150, I think you might need it dude.

    What's a 5150?

    It's basically where you are taken immediately into psychiatric care because you pose an imminent threat to yourself and get the care you need without waiting.

    Oh man, I think that would make it worse, actually. I've been dealing with my suicidal thoughts for years, I'm not kidding, either. I've never did any self-harm, I have no way of killing myself, none, and It's by design. I simply cannot commit suicide. I'm not a threat to myself because I've carefuly made sure of that when I had an easier time dealing with those thoughts.

    And hospitals scare me because, well, I know how the people talk about the patients. I would be so damn embarassed to ask anything, it'd make my case worse because I'd be afraid of imposing myself. I'm not kidding here, i'm really that stupid that I'd feel too selfish if I were in need of care to ask for it.

  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    Organichu wrote:
    I am not a threat to myself or others. I have zero destructive (self or external) tendencies whatsoever.

    It's not all about YOU chu, GOD!

    You know what else gets me about that video? The kid looks like my niece who I haven't really gotten to see since my mom passed because my brother and his wife and I are not on the best terms.

    It's all roses tonight! Who started this so I can punch them?

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Oh. Not me. Nevermind that then. I didn't see the other fellow's post.

  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Also, @21stCentury, you should get yourself checked into a facility if you're really that close to the edge. Call a helpline, go to a hospital, fuck two weeks, you need someone to talk to NYAO!

    Also, I hope the ribbings you've been getting in chat over the past month has not contributed overly to this situation. Also, also, you can PM me if you'd like, and perhaps want to get a bit more into detail, if something specific is pushing on you.

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • 21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    Organichu wrote:
    Oh. Not me. Nevermind that then. I didn't see the other fellow's post.

    thanks, mister Chu. I feel totally like I exist here.

  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    dont know if i should go out or not. . .

    steam_sig.png
  • 21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    Tox wrote:
    Also, @21stCentury, you should get yourself checked into a facility if you're really that close to the edge. Call a helpline, go to a hospital, fuck two weeks, you need someone to talk to NYAO!

    Also, I hope the ribbings you've been getting in chat over the past month has not contributed overly to this situation. Also, also, you can PM me if you'd like, and perhaps want to get a bit more into detail, if something specific is pushing on you.

    Ribbings? Aside from the one time I said I didn't want to discuss something and that became the big subject of discussion, [chat] has been good to me. mostly.

  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    21st that was a misunderstanding!

  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Organichu wrote:
    Oh. Not me. Nevermind that then. I didn't see the other fellow's post.

    thanks, mister Chu. I feel totally like I exist here.

    You need to go to a hospital, @21stCentury. You do not need to be on the forums right now, you need professionals who can administer the type of care that you need to be receiving.

    I know, I know, all that stuff you just got done saying before. It's not about avoiding negative behavior, it's about seeking positive behavior. You need to go get yourself help, immediately.

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • 21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    Organichu wrote:
    21st that was a misunderstanding!

    (I am joking, I hope you understand)

  • SenjutsuSenjutsu thot enthusiast Registered User regular
    What you're going through sounds pretty normal and natural to me Chu. I think you put more pressure on yourself, and have higher expectations of "where you should be" right now than you really need to; I think there's every possibility that things will start improving for you as you work at it.

  • South hostSouth host I obey without question Registered User regular
    Tox wrote:
    Organichu wrote:
    Oh. Not me. Nevermind that then. I didn't see the other fellow's post.

    thanks, mister Chu. I feel totally like I exist here.

    You need to go to a hospital, @21stCentury. You do not need to be on the forums right now, you need professionals who can administer the type of care that you need to be receiving.

    I know, I know, all that stuff you just got done saying before. It's not about avoiding negative behavior, it's about seeking positive behavior. You need to go get yourself help, immediately.

    Seriously.

    Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.
  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    Chu all I can say is that the medication worked for me. I went from gtfo of our school to deans list.

    It wasn't all medication as I had matured quite a deal in the process but it really helped. But you're doing the hard and strenuous first step toward building the momentum that you feel like you should have. It gets easier.

    steam_sig.png
  • MazzyxMazzyx Comedy Gold Registered User regular
    Whoever posted death cab has put me in a spot. Because I don't have my cds of theirs ripped and thus I must deal with the imperfect internet to listen to them.

    u7stthr17eud.png
  • 21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    Tox wrote:
    Organichu wrote:
    Oh. Not me. Nevermind that then. I didn't see the other fellow's post.

    thanks, mister Chu. I feel totally like I exist here.

    You need to go to a hospital, @21stCentury. You do not need to be on the forums right now, you need professionals who can administer the type of care that you need to be receiving.

    I know, I know, all that stuff you just got done saying before. It's not about avoiding negative behavior, it's about seeking positive behavior. You need to go get yourself help, immediately.

    Look, I'm sort of self-medicating here. Except instead of it being drugs or alcohol or prayer, it's video games, pop culture and the internet. Without that, I will be in real trouble. Without all that, my life is unbearably bleak, empty, unbearably terrible, unbearably sad. Just thinking about it makes me feel a bit worse, too, but it's the only way I have to take my mind off of the bad and I just can't quit that cold turkey. I had to try just last week and I had a pretty bad breakdown. I'm capable of staying in control here until the appointment. I can do it in steps. I just need a tiny bit of help. Just a bit. I know you feel concerned and I'm happy for it, but it just scares me way too much.

  • EddyEddy Gengar the Bittersweet Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Marching Bands Over Manhattan, What Sarah Said, A Lack of Colour, and various people's covers of Transatlanticism are really only what's stuck with me re: DCFC

    The Postal Service was a much more successful project in my opinion

    I guess I Will Follow You Into the Dark works as well but I mean that has too much emotional baggage riding on it THANKS EMO GIRLFRIENDS

    Eddy on
    "and the morning stars I have seen
    and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Senjutsu you're going on the list with my mom, Will, and Donkey Kong who I am officially crediting for me entering the professional world whenever I do.

This discussion has been closed.