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Post Apocalyptic Motion Comic...
dENYEN
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
Hey everyone... I've read Penny Arcade since 2002-ish, but I've never actually posted on the boards.
But now me and two of my friends have made a motion comic, that I thought might interest some of you.
It's a sorta post apocalyptic western... with motorcycles.
My friend Theis does all the artwork, I do the animation, VFX and narration and Morten writes the screenplay and composes the music and sound design.
So far we've only done a short pilot/proof of concept type movie which was made to test if the idea was even viable, and we think it ended up pretty good. Obviously like any artist we realise a lot of the stuff that's wrong with it, and we're currently working on the first real part of a larger story arc, where the artstyle, direction and script have improved vastly.
The plan is to do short 4 min. episodes, since it's only something we're doing in our time off.
You can see the movie here on vimeo:
If you wanna stay updated, you can “like” us on facebook, where we'll post concept art and other teasers for the upcoming Episode – Bullets.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Rider/213692561985615
Thanks for you time.
Allan Tonning
But now me and two of my friends have made a motion comic, that I thought might interest some of you.
It's a sorta post apocalyptic western... with motorcycles.
My friend Theis does all the artwork, I do the animation, VFX and narration and Morten writes the screenplay and composes the music and sound design.
So far we've only done a short pilot/proof of concept type movie which was made to test if the idea was even viable, and we think it ended up pretty good. Obviously like any artist we realise a lot of the stuff that's wrong with it, and we're currently working on the first real part of a larger story arc, where the artstyle, direction and script have improved vastly.
The plan is to do short 4 min. episodes, since it's only something we're doing in our time off.
You can see the movie here on vimeo:
If you wanna stay updated, you can “like” us on facebook, where we'll post concept art and other teasers for the upcoming Episode – Bullets.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Rider/213692561985615
Thanks for you time.
Allan Tonning
dENYEN on
0
Posts
A few things I noticed in various categories:
1. I know this is just a proof of concept, but the writing is heavily HEAVILY expository. I'd see what you can do to define the character's voice a little more. The things he's saying are very superficial.
2. I would avoid canned transitions (e.g. the final circular mask out when he rides off into the sunset). They come off as a little too hokey for the badass tone you seem to be going for.
3. In the scenes where the camera is moving WITH the Rider (e.g. the sequence beginning at 1:30), the bleak landscape actually works against you in that the viewer gets no real indicator of the speed at which the rider is moving. Adding some other elements to the scene (e.g. things for him to be driving by, decrepit buildings, tumbleweeds, and whathaveyou) alleviates this. Otherwise it just feels kind of like he's floating and there's not the appropriate sense of adrenaline.
Keep it up, would like to see more.
Our first game is now available for free on Google Play: Frontier: Isle of the Seven Gods
Regarding the fact that we do it in our sparetime, I agree that it's ambitious, which is why we're gonna make them in small 3-4 min. movies, and not have a set release date for each episode. We're basically doing it to flex our creative muscles. The artist and me both work in graphic design and the writer/composer works as a sound tech in danish television. So it's an opportunity for us to use our skills, but to make something we really have a passion for.
Regarding your points:
1. I comletely agree. :-) Before the writer (Morten) joined us me and Theis just messed around with different concepts. One was The Rider idea, so we just wanted a quick little action scene:
1. The Rider drives up to bus
2. The Rider shoots some guys
3. The Rider drives off into the sunset. :-)
Simply to see how we would flesh out an action sequence. Then we became slightly more ambitous, and I wrote the quick blurb that is the intro speak. I'm not a that good of a writer, but we just needed something to intro the world. So it came to be a bit too much “on the nose”. Fortunately Morten does all the writing now. He's written a script and screenplay for the first two episodes, and he's working on mapping out the first large story arc. He's great at writing the internal dialogue noir, Sin City-ish style that we're going for. Ofcourse we're also from Denmark, so english is our second language, which means we have to work a bit harder to make it more authentic.
2. I'm really glad you mention this, as I was very much on the fence whether or not to do this. So it's really good to get some feedback on that.
3. You also nailed this one. The most important lesson we learned from doing the pilot, was what NOT to do. And we definitely saw the limitations, of doing animation the way we do. We found that the back and especially the front shots, are very difficult to pull off with the quality we want. So we're working much harder to make more exciting angles, so it's not all back/side/front angles. We have a lot more interesting angles in the next one, and also it's telling a story rather than just framing an action scene. And we're definitely adding much more scenery and background stuff now.
So again thank you so much for commenting, it means a lot to us. And it seems you too have a keen eye for storytelling, and visual style.
Thanks
Allan
Good luck with everything.
Our first game is now available for free on Google Play: Frontier: Isle of the Seven Gods
it looks awesome btw, nice work.
And thank you SeveredHead. The artguy does all the artwork in a layered photoshop file, and I manipulate everything in After Effects. I make the cameras, and Visual FX and stuff. It's kind of a long process, but it's a really cool way to work in 2D and 2.5D.