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Disappointed Panels *Updated with new art*
RobWSales
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hello, a friend and I have just started our own webcomic. It's called Disappointed Panels. It doesn't have anything to do with video games, so hopefully I'm not torn to shreds and called a PA ripoff. Let me know what you think.
Thanks.
Thanks.
RobWSales on
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You are a PA ripoff. Although the art is clearly inspired by Gabe it does differ a bit, and you have tight linevariation.
Besides from the joke being unfunny and random (again, I think you've been around the PA humour too long. This seems to be a product of their humour grinded through the minds of someone much less genius.) there is variation in the windows (no talking heads = good) and as you mentioned yourself, it's not about video-games. That is the only thing that makes it different from a complete PA ripoff, though.
I'm sure much talk about how you can find your own style will ensue - enjoy.
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Also, it's spelled "genius."
Advice: Work on conveying emotions. The two people just look like plastic toys in all the panels. The hands are these weird congealed clay figures that don't really move (and are the only thing that are a ripoff of PA style). The faces just don't really cut it, I'd suggest working on facial anatomy from life, and then working that into your style.
Also, work on making funny jokes. The only reason popular comics like CAD, PA, or VGC can do anything close to this is because they're already famous so they can do anything and people will laugh. You need to have a foundation of actually good humor.
That said, I may have been too blunt, since it's not hopeless at all, and I do hope I didn't give the impression that that is my opinion.
Anyways, it may be tough to explain what makes it stand out to me as heavily inspired by PA, but for instance the hands in the first panel are very Gabe-ish, and as you said, it's two guys, and the "two guys, bla bla, pain/penis joke" is also something typical for a PA-ripoff.
Actually, the term "PA-ripoff" may be a bit hard. But it is close. At least it's a nicely masked one.
Kudos on the line-work and also the coloring, though.
Flickr ... Myspace
Is this our new thing?
Seriously. I don't think there's any precedent for this claim. I could go find artists whom this style is much closer to than Mike's. Maybe merely the fact that he's posting on a PA forum makes you draw some unlikely conclusions, because I doubt if this were posted anywhere else on the internet, PA influence 2would not even be mentioned.
Anyways, the style works for me. The characters are a bit stiff, and I'm not sure what kind of personality you're trying to depict (I assume they are really stupid?). The humor could use some work, but the style and colors work for me.
Campion had a good point that the two fellows look very similar (as far as their face structure and whatnot). Maybe take some time to practice drawing faces that look very different from each other (but still make sense as faces). It will help you practice your style and encourage creativity in character design, which will help if you add more people to the comic.
One thing that sticks out to me is that fire is very angular. The people are all round and curvy but the fire is mostly defined by straight lines. This is probably just personal opinion about something really trivial, but I figured I'd mention it.
Overall this is a really nice start to a webcomic, hope you keep practicing and improving.
facebook.com/LauraCatherwoodArt
I actually really liked this, timing is good. I would imagine this kind of comic would be better over time, so that the characters develop. Its hard to tell with just this one, it could get good or it could get redundant. Reminds me much more of Men In Hats in terms of humor. I miss that comic so.
As for the comic content... well, it's okay. I wouldn't bat an eyelid if I found it in some other comic's archives, but... you know... it doesn't really do anything. For outright randomness and their gleeful expressions at the end, though, you get many Interweb points
Good job on the backgrounds. I can't stand it when people used blurred photos. The fire looks good. I like the shading.
I think the name of your comic needs work. Disappointed Panels just sets the viewer up to be disappointed. Calling your comic things like Boring People or Uninteresting Beings just puts a negative spin on the comic, it gives it a bad first impression.
The joke...sorry, didn't do anything for me.
Keep on illustrating, I think your art is pretty darn good.
As for the humor, it didn't do much for me, but humor is subjective, so people saying "make jokes that are actually funny" isn't particularly representative or actually constructive/usable advice in the first place.
wii Number 0648 2052 0203 3154
(this wasn't a rant or anything, I think the comic was really good (especially the art) and I love the forums here... it's just early and I felt like throwing in my .02)
Nah, we're just pricks. ;-)
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Heh, that's why I post my art at the battle tourney and not here 8-)
Well done. Now, fuck off and stop derailing this thread.
Fuck both of you. Both of your PA-ripoff asses! Now I gotta go run to the grocery store and ripoff some PA Milk before they ripoff any more PA from the PA PA PA PA. Ripoff.
What the hell are those lines around their elbows in all the frames?
Do they have wiggly elbows?
Maybe it's just a few strands of really long, really thick elbow hair that pokes through their shirts?
facebook.com/LauraCatherwoodArt
To be fair there's something PAish about the hands, but otherwise there's nothing to stand on beyond them both being comics...
it's a mix of many styles if you ask me, not just PA.
That's not his problem if you ask me... the strip just isn't funny
They look so... artificial and inflexible... like they're those rubber-covered-wire toys...
And they don't appear to be on the fire so much as floating over it slightly.
I get the overall feeling that they are half-balloon, half-man, half-bearpig (okay, maybe not bearpig).
Palms look like they've been bee-stung.
The burning paper could use some transition. You have either "On fire" or "Pristine." Need some "half-burnt" cinders and the sort, if you care to get that detailed.
The lines and coloring are great though.
There is definite talent here. But the style is decidedly... atypical. Whether that's bad or good depends on taste and how the strip goes, obviously.
Also: Is it twilight? The light seems to be coming -really- strongly from that one side, rather than from the sky at all. If so, you may want to try to add some shade to the background as well. The foreground objects and characters have shading, but the background has no hint of it.
Oh, the squigglies on their arms was just an attempt on my part to stylize the folds in their shirts. Guess that part didn't come out so well.
Thanks again for the feedback.
Disappointed People's Youtube
Disappointed People's Myspace
geek comic
www.hijinksensue.com
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Disappointed People's Youtube
Disappointed People's Myspace
Also, the shading on the grass looks much better than in the first strip, but in real life I think that the shadow would fall under the white fence, not just across the lawn. Also, having some darker green under the fence would give it some weight. With the extremely green grass contrasting with the extremely white fence, and no shadows whatsoever, it looks too flat.
There are a few of just random superheros eating sandwiches. They made my heart smile.
Seriously tho, check it out.
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If that's true, he spent way too much time mastering symmetry and not enough on improving his style.